Last (x) Movies you are going to Avoid

The John Wick thing has totally passed me by so "doesn't take place in the real world" helps.

I have news for you about every other film.

No please no more news I can't cope.

Air

who fuckin cares about this story

And it played on many screens at my local arthouse in a city where two shut down in the last year.

trailer feels like a parody...like in Maxx Barry's snarky ad-firm satire Syrup, where the characters sell the idea of a film "starring Coca-Cola."

Brand origin stories are the new biopics -- Air, Pinball, Flamin' Hot, etc.

Avoiding on squeamish grounds rather than quality control grounds:

DE HUMANI CORPORIS FABRICA
Verena Paravel, 2022
Plunging into the viscera of human bodies, the directorial duo behind Leviathan open up glistening worlds of ecstatic abstraction. Never shrinking from grit or guts, this fascinating documentary surfaces in underfunded Parisian hospitals, where doctors inject a good dose of humor into disrepair.

This weekend I sat through the trailers twice for About My Father and You Hurt My Feelings; this was three times too many.

Extraction 2. Don't even try to fool me with this one, Letterboxd mutuals

Both Barbie and Oppenheimer

I'd watch a Gerwig-directed Oppenheimer.

Juding by box office it seems I'm not the only one avoiding the new Indiana Jones.

I would avoid that, but my sister wants to go. If it's at an Alamo Drafthouse, I can get regularly replenished drinks during the screening.

I'd watch a Gerwig-directed Oppenheimer.

And I would watch a Nolan-directed Barbie. They should have traded movies.

Barbie played by Tom Hardy

Oppenheimer played by Saorsie Ronan.

Wonder if Oppenheimer will cover the goings on in the Congo as detailed in parts of this piece, rather than torturing a guy's conscience for three hours?

https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v45/n12/kevin-okoth/poison-is-better

First trailer for Ridley Scott’s ‘NAPOLEON’ starring Joaquin Phoenix. pic.twitter.com/Ab301ec9fN

— Film Updates (@FilmUpdates) July 10, 2023

lots of english actors and Joaquin Phoenix doing stupid 'Allo 'Allo! accents and lots of tedious cgi naval battles... no no no fuck off

lol, will probably still watch it tho!

This'll be better than Joker for sure! idk I'll give Ridley some slack when it comes to a period movie with big epic battles but that's based probably solely on Kingdom of Heaven.

I think I still prefer the never-made Kubrick one.

I continue to be sulky that the 1927 version is still not officially available in Region A. Has Brownlow's work been for nothing?

Gotta get me a polyvision compatible tv.

Sound of Freedom

Yes, not even morbid curiosity will get me to see that. But is there a thread around for discussion of the right-wing media-industrial complex in general, or this specific film's distribution model?

There's always this short-lived thread: Favorite Right-Wing Movies

one of these types of movies comes out every couple weeks now:

Dumb Money is a 2023 American biographical comedy-drama film directed by Craig Gillespie and written by Lauren Schuker Blum and Rebecca Angelo. It is based on the 2021 book The Antisocial Network by Ben Mezrich and chronicles the GameStop short squeeze of January 2021. The film features an ensemble cast that includes Paul Dano, Pete Davidson, Vincent D'Onofrio, America Ferrera, Nick Offerman, Anthony Ramos, Sebastian Stan, Shailene Woodley, and Seth Rogen.

yeah lol it's pretty dire

This level of hackery is almost admirable

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Mezrich#Non-fiction

'Meanwhile, isn't Eddie Redmayne amazing as a Dane, let's give him all the oscars!'

― Frederik B

holy shit this is the best fucking take on The Danish Girl ever

guys you wanna know the problem with The Danish Girl? eddie redmayne ISN'T EVEN DANISH

We've had what the Red Hot Cheetos movie, the beanie babies movie, tetris, blackberry, what other bullshit am I forgetting?

I'd forgotten all about eddie redmayne

i'm just sick and tired of hollywood's constant perpetuation of negative danish stereotypes. it's not as bad as it used to be, for the most part, but nobody understands or wants to acknowledge just how much harm danephobic stereotypes in the media have done to danish people for decades now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHQojhNjnks

lol beat me to it

Hollywood has always been envious of Danish culture, so they lean on those stereotypes as a sort of Copenhagen mechanism

good lord

We've had what the Red Hot Cheetos movie, the beanie babies movie, tetris, blackberry, what other bullshit am I forgetting?

― omar little, Tuesday, September 26, 2023 4:38 PM bookmarkflaglink

Air Jordans movie, two different Ferrari movies, two direct-to-streaming Fyre Festival docs, various direct-to-streaming miniseries about things that were interesting when someone shared an Atlantic or VF piece on ILX (ex. McDonald's Monopoly scandal) but which cannot sustain unlimited padding, and about four hundred thousand direct-to-streaming docs on justly forgotten movies/shows/toys that would have been unbearable even as twenty-minute YouTube reports by talented amateur video essayists.

docs on justly forgotten movies/shows/toys that would have been unbearable even as twenty-minute YouTube reports by talented amateur video essayists

wait this is pretty much all i watch, if any of these are even a quarter as good as "Ranking Anime Denny's" i'm fucking in

I think doc is more thinking about crap like The Toys That Made Me, the tmnt episode of which I grudgingly sat through. Obviously if netflix gave hazel a deal that'd be rad.

it's not as bad as it used to be, for the most part

https://i.imgur.com/wCyhTqh.jpg

I think doc is more thinking about crap like The Toys That Made Me, the tmnt episode of which I grudgingly sat through. Obviously if netflix gave hazel a deal that'd be rad.

― Daniel_Rf

yeah i remember when that came out and i was like "that sounds interesting" and i never watched it, i guess it wasn't interesting

i genuinely love "wallpaper television" like "how it's made" though. you know, it's like some kids are with videos of construction equipment

that stuff would be ok if it was done "slow TV" style, can't be doing with excitable talkovers tho

see also: Billy Nighy shut up and let me just watch the train journey

yeah, one of the worst things about almost all television is overactive narrators, especially when they're supposed to be funny/cheeky/zany. for example, there are many horrible things about Love Island, but deleting the narrator is the single thing you could do that would most reduce the suffering of watching it, or passing through a room where it's on.

This is quite late but I did see a trailer for Maestro before Fallen Leaves some weeks ago and had a real "who in the world would be interested in this?" reaction.

Also, currently discussed on the anti-semitism thread, had one look at One Life poster at a bus stop and that was enough to know this was going to be one to avoid.

anything directed by bradley cooper
anything directed by matthew vaughn

bradley cooper seems like the new eddie redmayne, the young star oscar voters want to pinch the cheek of