Sex in movies: conventions, tropes, and educational moments

tbh I was more offended by the comment two above his that the person he replied to was replying to

yeah, if you are going to lose your temper at someone it should probably be her instead.

I couldn't find it earlier, but the C. Laws tweet quoted here is the one I really wanted to include earlier:

this is the most unhinged thing i’ve seen on here since “expecting writers to read is ableist” pic.twitter.com/YLhUyceB8V

— faboolah (@azninthesun) February 14, 2023

tbf i'd never heard of the dork that started this ripple in the discourse before so job done except i've just realised i still can't remember his name so never mind, as you were, just don't look basically

Benn Padgley

stunt nipples

If anyone’s planning to do another yearly film poll & is casting about for a thread title “zero intimacy scenes moving forward” pretty well captures the magic of the cinematic landscape

so, i have nothing against sex scenes in movies, but i never "understood" them. when thinking of a movie or show, the sex scene was never an anchor or a turning point in which a relationship went from nothing to "serious"

that person that started this whole thing said that to be progressive you have to be a bit if a pervert. well, if you are a progressive, you would acknowledge all sexual identities (omni, gyno, demi, pan, a, grey, and so on), so i don't really understand their point

what i will say is, sex and kissing is featured way too much in movies or, more specifically, not enough sexual identities are represented in film and in shows

it's fine that this person is a progress, a pervert, and likes to see sex and kissing in movies and shows, but there is something to be said about the lack of representation of all sexual identities and the focus on "sex sells" is something that a lot of people have been protesting for decades

there is a similar concept in how any movie or show must include a romantic encounter or a love interest in order to increase sales. this seems to be catering to the lowest common denominator at the cost of portraying different kinds of people and lives

progress = progressive

sex and kissing is featured way too much in movies

Not mainstream American movies

The criticisms are that these Tweeters aren't expressing a preference, they're taking a sex-negative approach and pretending it as a progressive view.

Some people who have maybe not been guilty if that got hit with collateral damage but I think that's the point.

Sex scenes CAN be problematic if the director is demanding them for his own lecherous whims, but everyone seems to want black or white answers to everything now as if life is merely checking the right box on appropriate viewpoints, so here we are.

(You aren't doing that, to be clear)

I saw a full nude sex scene in the latest Brandon Cronenberg and couldn't remember the last time I had

All told I think a cinema that reflected/refracted the full spectrum of sexual identities would include more sex/kissing/general intimate contact between humans, not less (and as Eric says it could hardly be less, at least if we’re talking current Hollywood cinema - can’t really speak to tv, there are so many shows now I can’t get a sense of it just from the ones I know about)

There was definitely a time not that long ago where movies and TV would have gay couples but refuse to depict them showing actual physical affection. Which was ridiculous.

The Last of Us Ep 3 definitely wouldn't have happened in the states in the 90s.

And apparently a load of very vocal three eight year olds in a long coat mfs yearn to return to that time

so, i have nothing against travel scenes in movies, but i never "understood" them. when thinking of a movie or show, the travel scene was never an anchor or a turning point in which a location went from nothing to "serious"

there is a similar concept in how any movie or show must include a romantic encounter or a love interest in order to increase sales.

yes, that familiar concept in which any show must include a romantic encounter in order to increase sales. ....to whom?

wins and sic otm

what is the matter with you people

One of the best films of the last decade:

https://i.imgur.com/Z7AApNN.jpg

Literally every time I see this mentality discussed in public I think about this tumblr post from 2017 which codified the big themes. Absolutely nothing new about it.

https://i.postimg.cc/05wMJs5y/9-B3402-BB-E69-C-4-E42-87-D9-824-B1362-B7-CF.jpg

https://i.postimg.cc/hjJJsF9M/9211-D8-A1-CB3-F-4-F3-E-BAC6-EB08-E97160-A5.jpg

Tl;dr there are tons of young and not so young people out there who think they’re progressive but have quite the blind spot about their religious upbringings.

yikes, stings of the day our youth group reminded us not to get "yolked up" with non-Christians, as the Bible said (in one place, only to be contradicted in a few others).

I stopped reading most of the threads above because as usual it seemed nobody was responding to what was said but a strawman long set ablaze by several people

the problem with all this gratuitous sexuality in today's movies is it's taking valuable screen time away from the totally non-gratuitous resolution of conflict through male violence

lol

To be fair, there is a lot of pointless romance for the sake of romance in movies. Surprised that sic has never heard of film execs asking for a romantic hook to be inserted into a story to make it more sellable, it's an incredibly common trope. But my issue with that is bad storytelling and not anything related to morality. And I think that's the thing with these takes - sex in film is 100% fine, but it's often not necessary, and the unnecessary becomes conflated with being morally bad rather than just aesthetically bad?

I'm not even going to attempt to address the 'can't watch kissing when the actors aren't married' take, that's just completely buckwild.

I'm still not sure it's not a joke. Haven't bothered to track down the original tweeter's feed

This is reminding me of the time Russell T. Davies put a mostly gratuitous m/m sex scene in one of his Doctor Who books between a companion from the future and a supporting character in the 80s so he could add in a coda about how the future dude’s sperm destroyed HIV and averted the AIDS epidemic, which kind of has nothing to do with the conversation but is something I like to bring up because it’s a very good example of why it’s not strictly necessary to have sex in your stories even if you can find a way to ostensibly make it work

I mean ultimately, there are many examples of sex scenes that were truly problematic, where the director allowed a performer to be abused by their partner on camera during the act, or demanded they do something they previously had said was off-limits, or the whole reason for the scene was because the director was an old creepy man who inserted the scene as a way of getting his jollies and acted creepy as fuck while shooting it.

and yeah, romance scenes aren't all enhancements, and there was a lot of talking past each other in the threads, but I did begin to side-eye the fourth or fifth time someone wrote "if you want sex scenes, watch a porno, not a movie" (which appeared three times in one thread before I closed it and destroyed my cell phone).

xpost

xps I always get the feeling that Russell T Davies has a massive checklist of these things on his kitchen wall which he wrote in the late 80s and has now 2/3 completed

Lots of movie / TV content is about work of one sort or another (whether it's, like, war or zombie-fighting or crime or space or the law or politics).

Romance in those filmed realms is decidedly less frequent than romance in those actual realms. I have been working in a variety of professional contexts, with hundreds of people, for about 30 years. I have had sex with exactly one co-worker.

But if you're in a movie and you're running from crazed mutants or fighting the Nazis or trying to pull off a jewelry heist or get onto or off of a planet or avoid aliens or be a superhero or be a cowboy or a vampire or whatever, well, there needs to be a tender moment when two people lock eyes and slowly move into a kiss. The screen fades and then there are rumpled sheets, etc.

At the same time, plenty of filmed content is explicitly about romance, dating, sex. That material gets a pass because it is the actual topic.

o wait

I meant: Romance in those filmed realms is decidedly less MORE frequent than romance in those actual realms.

idk when i worked in restaurant industry literally everybody was fucking each other, one manager fucked a server on the expo table after hours, which we only found out um...a few hours into service

And I think that's the thing with these takes - sex in film is 100% fine, but it's often not necessary, and the unnecessary becomes conflated with being morally bad rather than just aesthetically bad?

The other thing with these takes is an extremely narrow idea of “necessary” where everything has to serve some a to b to zzz missionary position idea of narrative, if it doesn’t “move the story forward” it’s got to go

dancing is probably “gratuitous” to some of these dweebs

that also comes from a decades long mainstream overfixation on plot by a lot of moviegoers, as if themes and character aren't important (just like when I took my dad to see Mad Max and he said "shouldn't there be a story?"). some of these folks also miss every bit of subtext in a film as well.

I've had to tell a lot of my theatre peers "oh, how you conflated movies w/ the stage again?" when they get like that (though even that I don't get as theatre is generally a more character driven medium!)

Maybe the people making these complaints about sec and plot made the same mistake I did I and randomly watched Ski School on Amazon Prime

The only Hollywood star still having sex in movies like it's 1988 is Tom Cruise.

lol DJP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JejtHRn9R7g

Surprised that sic has never heard of film execs asking for a romantic hook to be inserted into a story to make it more sellable, it's an incredibly common trope.

tbfttm I didn't say "film" or "common"

I'm still convinced most extreme prudes, especially the woman repulsed by actors kissing, are serious poly desiring sluts deep down, but can't get over their childhood indoctrinated guilt to live their life the way they want to.

"sluts"... really?

stfu octobeard

(I assumed octobeard was using the word positively, by contrasting it with the alternate attitude…)

Slut was a bad choice of words in this context. I only meant it in a sex positive way. Replace "slut" with "sexual freedom"

Honestly I only ever use that word in a positive way, but ... this is internet. And context, clarity and intent are more important these days when choosing your words.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYZYSIl9OL0

^ pretty much the only instance I can countenance of using that word in a positive way - the singer applies it to himself with a generous coating of English irony.

I don't think most of us can get away with it, so it is best avoided. But I do think there is some leeway for a self-deprecating usage. Please don't apply it to others without an atmosphere of consent, thxbye

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut

Yes, totally get that. My causal, intimate lexicon I use with my partner and friends accidentally bled into ILX, and for that I apologize.

Yes, that book is a fav! And its definition of the word is the one I use when I, or the people in my life say it. It was probably front of mind today as I was reading this amusing bio of some local supper club chefs on the rise using the word freely and humorously to describe their food.

Yeah, I was also under the impression that "slut" had been reclaimed and self-applied by people who fuck a lot. Surprised to see a backlash on ilx of all places.

I'm sorry, octobeard, for my hysteria.

Yeah, I was also under the impression that "slut" had been reclaimed and self-applied by people who fuck a lot. Surprised to see a backlash on ilx of all places.

((octobeard’s post also was not gendered overall, and cis dudes have been a prominent part of the discourse being addressed, especially today, afaict [from scrolling on the train]))

Thank you for reminding me to think of the men and that describing a woman as a prude who’s probably a secret slut is actually fine, it’s been a very educational week for me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

https://i.imgur.com/4YHoEFe.jpg