your terrible ideas

A combined tapas bar and drop-in anger management therapy centre for people who are hangry.

IDK if this is the right place for this, but my daughter and I were riffing on the idea (maybe a kids' book? comedy sketch?) about a man who doesn't understand stop signs, because there's no accompanying go sign. So basically the first time he drives a car, he stops at the first stop sign and then just stays there for like 30 minutes, traffic building up behind him, honking irate drivers, and he eventually calls the person he's visiting to tell them "Listen, I'm sorry I'm running late, I'm stuck at a stop sign." In the end, when it's finally explained to him, he lobbies his town to change all of the stop signs to say "Stop, and then Go"

Or he lobbies for "Go signs" every few meters on every roadside.

Maybe he could invent an entirely mechanical Stop/Go sign that switches between the two states by some Rube Goldberg mechanism, all the while completely oblivious to the existance of traffic lights?

He invents a device for four-way stopsigns where they are all attached to each other via gears and chains, so that when certain signs say stop, others say go, but then he realizes that this gets in the way of trucks, so he develops a really tall version, but then no one can see them.

That’s when the complex system of mirrors comes in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooF9il6DZ-w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwlVq6BqsEI

i don't have kids or anything but this seems like a pretty solid and marketable picture book to me, you should get on that!

terrible idea:

A spherical crock-pot covered with tiny mirrors

to make...

wait for it...

disco stew

xpost i thought the same! seems fun on the amelia bedilia level, which entertained me endlessly as a kid and which, as an adult, i still think is pretty funny

I also really like that book idea

yeah, we actually thought of Amelia Bedelia when we were talking about it, but picturing a guy, boyish looking 20-something maybe.

I swear to god if Adult Swim steals this idea too...

My daughter and I had this discussion about that moment the crosswalk guard is holding up his stop sign in the middle of the crosswalk after the students have successfully crossed to the other side. Kind of a Fight Club / Monster at the End of the Book idea.

Today the thought of Bublé T made me laugh, and then somehow my partner mentioned Boboli pizzas, and I started thinking to myself, "Boboli Tea— a take and bake pizza and bubble tea joint"

my brother swore that the name shouted at the beginning of Whoomp! There It Is was "Steve Boboli" instead of "Steve Rollin", feel like the pizza chain missed out on a tie-in commercial

pull the pizza out of the oven, yell "WHOOMP! THERE IT IS!"

BYOB - Bring Your Own Boboli. The shop just has sauce, cheese, and an oven. There is no good reason for this whatsoever.

wait so I could make a pizza with whatever I bring in, even if it's not bread/crust?

Supergroup consisting of Alex North, Joe South, the members of East 17, and Kanye West

Nathan East would like a word

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nathan_East

a Weird Al parody of "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" called "Someone Stole My Bike Tonight" about someone who pushed him off of his bicycle and rode away with it and Weird Al having no way to get home

A police procedural show that is utterly deadpan but it's about parking violations and other minor crimes

Law & Order: Recently Expired Tags Unit

CSI: Parking Violations

I belive in abolishing the police except for parking violations

tbf the most egregious parking violators in NYC are the police, so it could be a dark Line of Duty-style show, but strictly about parking violations

A&E already has Parking Wars, if "reality" shows count.

Starting a company selling pork products just to run the following advert on UK public transport only:

See it.
Scoff it.
Sausage.

Apollo 432 - an Apollo 440 tribute act who use the A=432Hz tuning standard.

I Never Sausage A Thing

parking wars is pretty much the worst of humanity on display, just super cringeful tv

it gets kinda ummmm “kafkaesue” at times when it’s like some person having to run back and forth from the dmv to the towing place and shit

one of those "pay in 4 interest free payment" companies, but you only get the portion of the product you've currently paid for.

so if the concert u paid for comes around and you only paid 50%, you are asked to leave midway through. if you've only paid for 25% of your groceries, they give you that 25%, hold onto the other 75% and release them to you as you make the payments. by then they are all moldy

1/4 wedge of each grocery item

a jar of pickles sliced into fourths

one quarter of a raw egg, x12

That reminds me, every so often I have the terrible idea of marketing existing food products but at 103% of their usual size to account for what you can't get out of the jar/can etc.
So baked beans with an extra teaspoonful in there because you can't get every drop of sauce out, same for ketchup etc etc

so if the concert u paid for comes around and you only paid 50%, you are asked to leave midway through.

Or you have to wear special headphones that only include the bassist and the drummer, and you're made to wear an eyepatch over one eye.

If I was Jeff Bezos I'd pay to make shot for shot remakes of every episode of old sitcoms, but one of the characters would be played by me (Jeff Bezos). So you'd make a shot for shot remake of every episode of Third Rock From The Sun for example, but instead of French Stewart it would be Jeff Bezos. It wouldn't always have to be one of the main characters either, you could remake Cheers but with Jeff Bezos playing Al.

it surprises me that there is no tech billionaire who has paid to make a shot for shot remake of e.g. Star Wars, with themselves playing Han Solo or something. You'd think there must be some overlap on the Venn diagram of people who want to do that and who can afford to do that. Maybe someone has, but they just haven't publicised it, it's just something they watch in private on their own.

a van dyke parks tribute band called car bridge schools

breakfast sushi. made with rice krispies.

brimestead, an ILX bot that regurgitates brimstead posts but with random extraneous e's sprinkled in

lol at breakfast sushi

That idea owes something to Johnny LaRue's Fish Flakes and Frosted Fish Flakes.

Lol at Johnny LaRue!

I loved it when he did the science show and hadn't fully woken up yet so he told the boy "make me some coffee, kid, and learn about combustion."

tampon bandolier

Website showing videos of avant-garde jazz: ZornTube

Coming to Thailand

Surely it should be ZornHub?

The Wrath of Hub

ZornHub is what I should have written, yes, but my brain was not in gear yet

doesn't seem terrible at all

Kazoo vapes.