pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

needs to get back to basics

Some great lines in this review! This made me laugh in appreciation:

“Cool kids, they do not like rock/They only listen to trap and pop,” he continues, hoping for more upvotes on his comment.

i have no idea how anyone could've avoided "Beggin'" over the past year or two

It sounds absolutely awful but is actually getting some decent reviews elsewhere. (Kerrang gave it 4 stars for instance but I've no idea what the quality of Kerrang is like these days).

anyway, this band stinks, and they *are* a very easy target (for P4k, at least / has RS reviewed?), and also we need more negative reviews. all these things are true.

In theory, Måneskin—in their politely iconoclastic, youthful, inscrutably European, anti-mainstream guise—might fit under that rubric Americans once knew as “alternative rock.” It was a genre that conferred—in accordance with the social bylaws of the ’80s and ’90s—that what you liked signaled what you did not like: By owning a Sonic Youth album, you displaced the energy that otherwise would have been consumed by a Spin Doctors album.

By owning one alternative rock album you displace the energy of a different alternative rock album.

"Don’t you wish Guitar Center could win a Grammy?" made me chuckle

only issue i have is there are so many bands which are too big, too plugged into the alt/indie industrial complex for pitchfork to dare slam them as hard as they deserve. anyway this band does deserve it obv.

Yeah, punching up. Måneskin laughing all the way to the bank, a la Bon Jovi happily getting roasted by Triumph the Insult Dog. "Sick burns, Pitchfork." (throws leftover $200 burger topped with gold leaf in the trash)

At least THEY have the guts to make a statement song like Gasoline, not giving a sh*t about pleasing everyone.https://t.co/KF6w2sqZuo

— KosiKosa (@KosiCosa) February 7, 2023

[Verse 1]
You're nothing but gasoline
Starting fires since seventeen
Silver spoon in daddy's jeans
You go, "Four, three, two, one"
Count it, count it down
Mister in a stolen dress
You're so dark, but you paint it red
Soaking wet in your golden bed
You go, "Four, three, two, one"
Count it, count it down

[Pre-Chorus]
How are you sleeping at night?
How do you close both your eyes?
Living with all of those lives
On your hands?
Standing alone on that hill
Using your fuel to kill
We won't take it standing still
Watch us dance
How are you sleeping at night?
How do you close both your eyes?
Living with all of those lives
On your hands?
Standing alone on that hill
Using your fuel to kill
We won't take it standing still
Watch us dance

[Chorus]
We're gonna dancе on gasoline
We're gonna dancе on gasoline
We're gonna dance on gasoline

has RS reviewed?

They pulled their punches a bit: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-album-reviews/review-maneskin-rush-1234661170/

xpost Maybe better in Italian?

Non sei altro che benzina
Accendere incendi da diciassette anni
Cucchiaio d'argento nei jeans di papà
Dici "Quattro, tre, due, uno"
Contalo, contalo alla rovescia
Il signore con un vestito rubato
Sei così scuro, ma lo dipingi di rosso
Bagnato fradicio nel tuo letto d'oro
Dici "Quattro, tre, due, uno"
Contalo, contalo alla rovescia

(Pre-ritornello)
Come dormi la notte?
Come si chiudono entrambi gli occhi?
Vivere con tutte quelle vite
Sulle tue mani?
In piedi da solo su quella collina
Usando il tuo carburante per uccidere
Non ce la faremo a stare fermi
Guardaci ballare
Come dormi la notte?
Come si chiudono entrambi gli occhi?
Vivere con tutte quelle vite
Sulle tue mani?
In piedi da solo su quella collina
Usando il tuo carburante per uccidere
Non ce la faremo a stare fermi
Guardaci ballare

(Coro)
Balleremo a benzina
Balleremo a benzina
Balleremo a benzina

Balleremo a benzina >>>> We're gonna dance on gasoline

It's a metaphor.

those lyrics look like they're written by someone who was exposed to leaded gasoline in their youth

xps not punching down at the band, punching down on the idea of music that sounds like it could be in an advert. which is probably most music.

idk, imo, there's a specificity to "music made for introducing the all-new Ford F-150" that's not equivalent to "music in any ad." The cologne commercial line is broader, and I don't personally have that stereotype in my head so it doesn't land, but even that is narrower

Yeah - obv plenty of ads use good music (that wasn't written specifically for ads), but the review is saying something different.

"music made for introducing the all-new Ford F-150"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyVWQH7jIg8

xp But I don't really get where along the way this stuff has got so synonymous with adverts for, well, cars and cologne. The reality seems a bit different imo. I guess if it was me I'd just find another way to say 'sounds like polite focus grouped music'.

if anyone is making a commercial for gasoline, i know just the song...

One of my favorite jams (I think it did end up being licensed for a car commercial!):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcNcuGkhASw

I know a pretty aggro song that would work well in a "Kerosene" commercial (#onethread)

Is there gas in the car?

lol

I dare you guys to reply to that tweet jaymc posted to ask what the statement being made is. I did that the last time someone was saying silly things about music on twitter and it was a lot of fun

Silver spoon in daddy's jeans

did they mean genes or

oh no, it was part of the “Stand Up for Ukraine” project and the wily detectives at genius.com seem to think it's about Putin

I really enjoyed that review but there's so much great stuff modern Pitchfork ignores that would've deserved that review slot more than Maneskin. not a fan of this mentality that because something is popular it needs to be covered, even if it's not good. there's a similar issue going on right now in games with the new Harry Potter thing--some saying it's irresponsible to write about it because Rowling's a TERF, others saying it's irresponsible to not write about it because it's going to be a big hit, and then others arguing it's a waste of time and space to write about a sure-to-be-forgotten tie-in game that's already sold millions of copies before release. all are right but only one isn't wrong.

it's fine to have the occasional negative review of unhip popular albums. it'd be boring if they focused on that too much but not covering those at all has sometimes in the past lead to weird blindspots in music criticism more broadly.

wrt games writing - what is definitely irresponsible is all the uncritical garbage reviews of hogwarts legacy that are the only type of review out there right now because the publisher only sent review codes to outlets they knew would not seriously engage with it - most comical is the ign review which is actually fairly critical but still gives it a 9/10 with very weak justifications. serious criticism of it is good to have especially to counterbalance the many many garbage reviews that do exist.

It is a rock album that sounds worse the louder you play it

a+

I haven't read it, and I'm not gonna link to it, but apparently one of the Dumbest Motherfuckers on the Internet, Freddie deBoer, has weighed in on the Måneskin review, and used the phrase "woke poptimism" with a straight face.

didn't he say he was going to fuck off from the internet after lying about Malcolm Harris

it's really quite a thing how every american leftish influencer from the mid 10s is just openly reactionary now

Follow the money. They sure did.

I don't think I've ever encountered anyone who has been interested in following FdB's work and I am unsure if I would understand them if I did

he was on the bernie side of the centre left culture war so a lot of people who should have known better were for a time

he was always pretty conservative so it doesn't reflect well on that subculture that he was ever a thing but he's far from alone there

Ugh, and I just got a "Hey, you should read this Freddie DeBoer thing!" email from Ethan Iverson (not personally; it's part of his own email list). Iverson has been outing himself more and more as a small-c conservative lately, usually through aesthetic pronouncements. He knows a lot about jazz history, which is great, and I've had enjoyable conversations with the guy, but it's like...I know you're a middle-aged white guy from rural Wisconsin, could you try a little harder to not act like it?

and used the phrase "woke poptimism" with a straight face.

― but also fuck you (unperson), Wednesday, February 8, 2023 5:00 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I won't link to it either but unless I am missing it the phrase "woke poptimism" does not appear

unless I am missing it the phrase "woke poptimism" does not appear

new board description

maneskin are very confusing to me because their two modes as a band seem to be lukewarm imitations of rhcp and franz ferdinand? and then occasionally they Rock Out more too. that's just quite an odd combo

the phrase woke poptimism doesnt appear, but the concept clearly does lol

deboer's terrible attempt at music writing is still probably an improvement from his usual shit

the deboer article sucks and is obnoxious. pitchfork has always been unfairly maligned. at the end of the day, they review a wider variety of music than any other publication. and they very often elevate relatively outre stuff to BNM status. a site like pitchfork is never going to align with one's personal taste and that shoudl just be fine.

Pitchfork stopped being a music site long ago and became instead a series of instructions for how to carefully position yourself in contrast or complement to the people around you in a way that maximizes your personal brand and demonstrates that you’re the most specialist boy or girl of all.

like this is just not true. and if it wasn, it wouldn't even be a bad thing.

i *wish* there was still social currency in having unique taste. but increasingly this isn't the case anymore. everyone is just drowning in their feeds, they know they are one click away from virtually any music that might catch their interest.

the hipster is dead. freddie is beating a corpse.

also, like, there are limits to the kind of formal analysis that is possible in a popular journal. readers want context, they want narative. and freddie himself makes his living as a cultural gadfly. it's ignorant for him to pretend that such discussions have no place in "reviews."

do not give him this amount of oxygen imo

no one knows who that guy is or cares what he thinks