Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

(I love meeting other DJs. They are almost always more successful than me, but there’s still so much common ground, and I’m able not to let the status gap get in the way. Geeking out over our shared interest just seems to trump that!)

(He does look quite nice though. Ahum.)

ah that's a nice perspective mike, i aspire to have that attitude

wow this is too much :D

map i don't think he's rich but i do think he has a nice lifestyle in that city. if that matters

― J0rdan S.

heh, caught myself imagining this severe hottie whisking map away to his chalet in the alps on a private jet, managing his dance music empire from there, phone constantly going off.

it sounds like there's a magnetic attraction/repulsion thing happening with this guy that you owe it to yourself to investigate.

focusing on sequestering myself off from the world and writing in my journal.

have i got a playlist for you!

if you find yourself in that mode don't fight it imo, or worry that you should be in some other place, decorate your cocoon and enjoy

what do you wear to the opera??

Clothes usually, preferably clean ones unless you’re known to be very rich

I know I’m in the minority, but I am fine with my gay friends and don’t care for most gay bars, gay techno campouts, or anything similar. Often these places just seem like useless hedonism and tribalism which I can understand being liberating for some, but which I find utterly alienating. The last gay bar I loved is in the Bay, nothing in Philly or New York comes close, and I also don’t care for clubbing. Maybe it’s been too long, or maybe it’s just getting older, but I’m pretty content to not have any hookups or much of a connection to the wider “gay community.”

I don't remember the last time I visited a gay bar, but I would if the music didn't suck.

you went with me to singers

"useless hedonism" is a funny phrase

ha, right. Should've specified "South Florida."

just a lil update, i've instituted a "don't hook up with other djs" rule and i'm abiding by it.

how are we all doing? i've been contemplating "bears" because a friend has been at "international bear convergence" in palm springs, and i'm arriving at my usual conclusion that community by body type is deeply sad or at the very least Not For Me.

Tbh sounds boring, but I also admit that bears are probably the body type that I’ve been with the least.

Other furry creatures, yes, but not bears.

I have a friend who's really into the local bear scene, to the extent that it makes up most of his social orbit. Every time he tells me he's going to some kind of "bear convergence" it kind of annoys me, even though it's obviously pretty important to him. I don't like what that says about me.

He's a sweet, dorky guy who doesn't have a lot of confidence and I suspect he just wants to be accepted somewhere. His buddies are an empathetic bunch. In general I really do not like gay body-type subcultures, but it seems significant that these guys are promoting a standard of beauty that flies in the face of popular conventions, so good for them. And their version of masculinity is so non-aggressive.

There's an eagerness to conform, to define himself so narrowly -really, to belong- that I distrust, and that's my problem. I don't generally react that way to people pursuing whatever makes them happy.

all of that is otm, thanks for that empathetic reading. i think both of you are valid in what you need.

bears don’t deserve the beating they’ve taken in this thread today

i don't see a beating anywhere, just some mild 'ehh's

my husband's pet name for me is 'honeybear' and i love it. i used to work at an explicitly bear-themed bar and it was generally very friendly but just about everyone of every body type came tbh. i admit i've got some body dysphoria baggage that probably colors my perspective. still, i think there is something about community by body type that tends to reinforce the importance of body type, which is honestly fine i guess, just feels a little tiresome and limiting to me sometimes. or boring like table said. i admire the friend i mentioned a lot, he's involved in my area's bear org which does a lot of great community work. idk, i think it's ok to be generally supportive of it in a for other people sense but feel like it's not what gets me going personally, especially because sometimes it feels omnipresent or like a cash cow that gets heavily milked lol.

although the more i think about it the more i see how it's a good thing, and how that other stuff is personal to me, so i guess i agree with you j0rdan

especially because sometimes it feels omnipresent or like a cash cow that gets heavily milked lol.

no, that's a good point and something i've observed but didn't even think of because i haven't been out in a million years lol

body type subcultures can be pretty toxic! maybe not all of them equally, but they seem to create dysporia, maybe even arise from dysphoria in the first place. they can also foster a kind of tunnel vision and close off too many possibilities. I just think beauty is in the eye and shouldn't be standardized.

i know that a lot of my sexual desires and preferences are based on ugly biases, and fear and shame. That I can't diagnose these makes me all the more inclined to just indulge and enjoy it. so i can't judge but guess i regard those communities as bad medicine, to an extent.

Like, I've mostly dated and hooked up with str8 looking and acting men, and men who are a little ambiguous. There's been a couple of feminine men, but on the whole they've been less outwardly gay. It's honestly never occurred to me that my aversion to the body type subcultures is probably also rooted in homophobia, and that sucks.

otm

Sorry J0rdan, I’m not going to feel bad about not being enthusiastic about a body fascism culture by any other name.

It’s also worth mentioning that Bears as a group have some inherent racial dynamics that are undeniably gross.

Simply unsure as to how any body type subgroup can defend its rigidity and conformity. I don’t love being queer because I love mirroring the trash society that hates us.

I wouldn't say I've focused on a specific body type over the last decade (i.e. when I more or less became something resembling sexually active), but I will say that with few exceptions there's been an age gap of, usually, about a decade or more, with me as the older one.

Yes, on average I hook up with or date men at least a decade my junior.

guys let me be clear i was joking about bears... the initial posts were just funny, that's all

well hello!

my preferences have changed a lot in the last decade tbh - the more hair (everywhere!) the better in recent years. i used to be more a "twink" person when i was younger. that might be an age thing too i dunno!

I need to get laid.

I don’t have strict preferences but admit that I tend to go for less hairy dudes, no matter their racial or ethnic makeup or size or whether they’re cis or trans or whatever.

fair! it's also very much about like what we're doing. for certain activities the smoother the better!
xp make it happen, boo! you've done it before, you can do it again!

I know! Mild drought this year.

i went through mine at the end of last year and got back on the horse recently
almost forgot how to ride!

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1382/2223/files/fabian-burghardt-A81818EFqGQ-unsplash_480x480.jpg?v=1655491310
whassup?

oh snap - what IS up
like i'm finally getting a little bit laid
and i have a couple of dates happening
like geez it's about time
what's up with Y'ALL

well i'm twitterpated by a cowboy

he sent me a semi-nude this morning - him standing outside in the freezing ass cold with a foil four leaf clover on his chest, some green glittery thing covering his crotch and rainbow socks.

Bummed this thread didn’t get bumped a couple days ago for International Penis Day.

i.e. St. Patrick's Day

when we all celebrate the very juice and sperm of kindness

I have been feeling especially faggoty this week fwiw, but I think it’s because I became obsessed with a Carly Rae Jepsen song

hahaha which one?

lemme guess, 'western wind'

I suspect it's "Kiss My Sodomite Mouth."

“Comeback”

very relatable

hi everyone, i'm in a 'men are mostly trash' mood today.