Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise/IP-based flick of 2023

The sheer cheek of calling it "Teen Wolf: The Movie"

the former because i wasnt even aware there was a first movie

is Shazam an adaptation of the music identification app?

Shazam! was released in the United States in RealD 3D, Dolby Cinema, IMAX, 4DX, and ScreenX on April 5, 2019. The film was a box office success, grossing $366.1 million worldwide, and received positive reviews from critics,

this sounds fake i simply don't believe it existed. the poster looks fake too

I voted Shazam! without hesitation.

oh it's a remake of the 90s film with Sinbad

First Shazam was a pretty decent (and fun) family friendly superhero movie.

Second one seems to have become part of the mostly terrible DC Universe and looks pretty bad from the trailers.

Shazaam with Sinbad is way more memorable than this

For any reason other than the prospect of Nick Cage as Dracula chewing wholesale on the scenery in the background?

― Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Friday, January 13, 2023 1:08 PM bookmarkflaglink

Nope that's about it.

oh it's a remake of the 90s film with Sinbad

― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Friday, January 13, 2023 1:26 PM bookmarkflaglink

Irl lols

The sheer cheek of calling it "Teen Wolf: The Movie"

― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Friday, January 13, 2023 1:16 PM bookmarkflaglink

Lol I had that thought too.

Okay, The Son looks like probably the last movie I'd watch on this list.

is the next prequel going to be The Embryo?

This list looks like the Hollywood equivalent of the cutout bin.

yeah I usually get a sick thrill out of this thread, but this year's is a mostly flat plateau of yawn

John Wick 4 is the only one I'm unambiguously going to watch the fuck out of (at Xmas ofc). Is this new Spider-Verse animated the same way as the first one? If so I'd be tempted there too despite being a confirmed Marvel hater (in all cases except where comic-book rotoscoping is involved)

untitled ghostbusters afterlife sequel may get my vote tho

― flamenco drop (BradNelson)

I voted for this, Ghostbusters is pointless

Very stoked for Barbie and for Mario tbh

ghostbusters and ghostbusters fandom/nostalgia are cultural poison

Ghostbusters movie about an infestation of ghosts of ghostbusters movies past

Dune Part Two will almost surely be worth seeing. Not sure it belongs on this list.

movie is just one person saying "who ya gonna call?" and two people trying to remember the name of the service that used to exterminate ghosts for the remainder of the movie.

very waiting for G(h)o(st)dot

xpost i think crypto was just listing every movie they could think of that fit this description as opposed to curating.

I mean, Dune is technically part of a franchise, though in general I try to stay away from adaptations of novels: I did not include, for example, the upcoming musical version of The Color Purple on the basis that it, like Dune had been filmed before. So that one was a bit of a snap judgement call.

Film on this list most likely to top ILXs Top Movies of 2023 list: Barbie.

voted Dune 2

With Dune, unlike The Color Purple, I think of it as akin to something like the Lord of the Rings films, which I think at this point we would definitely consider a franchise (I think I said something about whether or not to include "potential franchises" in an earlier year's poll). At the very least, I think it's safe to say that Dune is something of a brand name at this point.

I get that; on the other hand, it's just the continuation of the first film.

At any rate, it will almost surely be substantially better than anything else on this list.

lol no it won’t

otoh, it's the Paddington director

And the Paddington 2 writer. Really bummed that they’re going off for something as spiritually moribund as this instead of getting to make something new (or The Bear Movi3).

Would be fascinated to see all the live-action footage that was rotoscoped for Spidey-Verse 1.

What were the good parts of Dune I, the bagpipes and the ornithopters?

Room-temperature-ass movie

I guess, apart from the cast, the script, the direction and the visuals. And the soundtrack.

I assume no-one's mentioned Detective Knight because they're never heard of it, but having googled, fuck me, it's that.

I saw the Magic Mike trailer before The Menu and it looked very bad.

The Son

eagerly anticipating the third film in the trilogy, the holy ghost

That’s literally an on cinema Oscar special joke, Tim does a satirical takedown of the nominees (without having seen any of them) & it’s this note perfect parody of conservative comedy + like daily show type garbage where you read a thing and pull a face and go ”really?!”

& he’s like “the father - oh yeah, what’s next, the son? The Holy Ghost?”

Anyway turns out that is what’s next

saw the trailer for Quantumania in front of Glass Onion in November and that was dire as hell, this Marvel shit is all two (2) jokes and then some greenscreen weird object ballet that has deadly serious implications for the next movie

Nothing properly hackle-raising here, just mostly meh-sville. Blood and Honey might be my vote, if only because, as Neando notes, this edgelord-y 'ooh, what if this children's character was a murderer?!?!' bullshit is so junior high.

never discount soderbergh

re: magic mike 3

what are the previous iterations of the children's character murdering phenom? is Detective Pikachu grim?

quantumania seems so drab and dour for a film with theoretically limitless visual possibility

xxpost lol, I was legit about to check to see if Soderbergh was directing the dark Pooh flick.

what are the previous iterations of the children's character murdering phenom? is Detective Pikachu grim?

― rob, Friday, January 13, 2023 3:38 PM (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

First one that comes to mind:
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYWVjMGI4ZTAtOTJjYS00NjZkLWEzZGUtNDMxZTEyMjE5ODdjXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTczNjQwOTY@._V1_.jpg

what are the previous iterations of the children's character murdering phenom? is Detective Pikachu grim?

― rob, Friday, January 13, 2023 4:38 PM bookmarkflaglink

"You're a Mean One" from last December.

oh yeah, ugh

I like killer Santa movies only because dude has the worst job on the planet

https://uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/biff-grid-uproxx.jpg?resize=460

YOU GUYS SUCK

I did like it, even if the ending was bloated

That wonka film looks like cold piss

Oompa loompa doompa de piss

Absolutely insane that King and Farnaby would go from the most beloved modernisation of a childrens book series in film history to something so profoundly misconceived as this

Chalamet seems... not right for this

https://64.media.tumblr.com/fc63ce7a327215128caacd7d7b199934/f1c1de3186f99c8d-5d/s500x750/450ca1127866cf3398e058aed582465b9f7cef24.gif

Is there a better burn (or at least description) than Gretchen felker-martin calling him a “total coke nail”

very jay leno voice

ya hear how they pushed Dune 2 but not Wonka because of the strikes?

it's not on the list but I was dragged to My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 today and although I didn't like the first two, this one was a complete pile of shit, conflict-free tourism film.

We doing one this year or are we just deciding it’s pointless cause Biden v trump would win in a landslide

Oh that has to be an option plz

Our normal pollrunner for this stepped back from ILX back in August.

winner of this year's poll is ghostbusters: FROZEN EMPIRE

just as it was last year apparently lol

Wonka was apparently not terrible?

Also lolz that Quantumania is at the very bottom of this list too

Oh wow. Just been looking at what's coming this year and it's a strong list.

As well as the forthcoming Road House remake, we'll also be treated to a movie of 80's series The Fall Guy, what must now be the third reboot of Planet of the Apes, various sequels years after the original (Beetlejuice 2, Gladiator 2, Twisters) plus things like The First Omen, Bad Boys 4, Joker 2, Venom 4, Ghostbusters etc.

Let's gooo

bring on 2024, yes lol

IIRC the new Planet of the Apes is a continuation of the recent reboot trilogy, which was much better than it had any business being. Buuuut the franchise is with Disney now so let's see what happens.

Glower, Disruption & Pies (kingfish) at 12:53 6 Feb 24

Wonka was apparently not terrible?

Saw Wonka with my kids last week. It is exceedingly whimsical in a way that surely isn't to everyone's taste, but imo they managed to thread the needle with a pretty delicate tone of magical realism, kept the character likeable (much credit to Chalamet), some good dance numbers. Biggest criticism was it's very sanitized and tidy, doesn't really stake any sort of unique and memorable identity. The songs were eminently forgettable. And the plot was pretty ridiculous but they make it pretty clear you shouldn't worry too much about that. All in all, as a kids' movie, I enjoyed it!

I'm gonna be real interested to see if another Exorcist actually happens after the most recent one got ripped to shreds and David Gordon Green immediately split. I can't Believe(r) they committed to an entire trilogy before waiting to see if the first one was a total POS. Just keep flushin' that money down the toity, Hollywood.

a huge blow for the Christianity Cinematic Universe

we'll never get our God's Not Dead/Exorcist crossover now

so wanted to see Kevin Sorbo's head twist off

Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise/IP-based flick of 2024

It's a Wonderful Life II, the Revenge of Clarence