Channel 5 with Andrew Callaghan (fka All Gas No Brakes)

i don't see it personally and he is also transparently inviting more abuse for this person

cool guy hope he explodes

yes i want him to melt completely.

it is genuinely physically sickening to see men (ones I know personally as well as ones I don't like the above video) reveal that before they reproduced and a daughter came out, they didn't think about "this stuff" (sexual coercion and assault) very closely. it's -- i don't have words for it tbh. it's sickening.

It’s like “I just discovered females exist and they have feelings and rights”

From like 2000-2010 I tried to get men--friends, strangers, neighbors, ilxors--to care about street harassment/sexual assault of women in public spaces and never succeeded, so totally yes it is sickening and also it's just. so. boring. that we can't ever move the conversation any further along, we're still doing this.

I despair.

he is also transparently inviting more abuse for this person

yeah it's absolutely horrific and dangerous. i'm disgusted that he has chosen to respond this way.

idk I personally don't think it's like that exactly, just that when you have children every time you hear any story about someone the same age you think "that could be my kid". like the St. Judes commercials now make me genuinely emotional whereas in the past they were just sad. I mean obviously yeah it sucks that some people genuinely never think about this sort of thing but I'm hoping the last 10 years has made some progress on that front

everyone knows parenting changes people in countless ways. that is not controversial. again, it's the idea that it's virtuous (and worth saying out loud in an exculpatory fashion) to rely on one's own children for this type of enlightenment that sickens me personally. it's proof that many men thought differently before.

using your children as a source for this type of enlightenment makes it very clear that reproducing is what it took for the enlightenment to occur -- that before, they didn't give it much consideration. there is not any doubt of the feelings.

i have now paraphrased this twice.

LL otm

Beheading for anyone who says “As a father of daughters”

well yeah if you didn't think about "this stuff" at all before than that's on you

Callaghan's response is especially shitty because he thinks that one text is the smoking gun that this was a shakedown (which it didn't quite read that way to me and also doesn't preclude the facts that the things he's accused of happened), but the accusor also posted another video with tons of messages from other women who had similar things happen to them and he's seems content to ignore all those to try to portray this as made up extortion

I thought it was bullshit of Variety to publish her name, especially if you're gonna mention the extortion claims. I am guessing you could find it if you were looking but still dont do that

xp RIGHT only i would omit "at all" and swap for "closely/deeply enough"

i just searched ILX for threads about consent and the one i clicked on (about alcohol use, rape, and consent) contains what may be the angriest posts i have ever posted
it's from 2006!!

use your parental status to teach your kids about consent (i am not in favor of beheading)

One possibility that the ability for people to articulate almost any position at all, as well as inability to defend that position if questioned, has degraded to the point where any statement gets crouched in personalized Appeals to Identity.

And so you get the “As a” construction for declaring one’s position or opinion on anything far more often that would think one should. It’s not that somebody didn’t believe a thing before having that identify, it’s that they add that in as extra moral weight to the argument. You can’t make appeals to some sorta universal value or norm because those have lost credibility.

Of course, this changes when it comes to reactionaries, who really don’t see the problem with a thing that affects other until it has some palpable impact to someone in their sphere if not themselves.

non-discussed point and tangential to the larger issue so forgive me but: one of the many unpleasant and tin-eared elements of the "as a father" construction is that it presumes that having a child imbues the speaker with a level of compassion and insight unavailable to the non-breeder which has been disproven by many if not most of the parents i know.

well right I mean when Uvalde happened when talking about it with people who aren't parents I wouldn't bring up the fact that I myself have kids because I don't want to imply "it hits me different because I'm a father". though in reality it kinda does! like, not compared against other people, but to myself before I had kids, especially since I drop my kids off at an elementary school that is also by a wide margin Hispanic, so yeah I have to think about it constantly

part of the objection is not that your perspective isn't valid, just that it's not necessary or helpful to invoke it in a situation where you and your experience simply isn't the story. cf "i have lots of black friends" or "my cousin is gay" or "i can say it because i grew up around here"

perhaps it's an "as a me" rather than an "as a father"

xpost

xp
That's valid, but we're moving away from the crucial point that the father/daughter statement isn't really about being a parent (though I agree with forks on that aspect), it's about gender and othering. Why do you relate to the abstract category of "woman" differently after you've fathered a woman? Why didn't that happen when you partnered with one? Or via the relationship with your own mother? When you hear about men being assaulted does that feel different from hearing about women (and if so, why)?

sure but parenthood IS different than those things, when your kid gets hurt and goes to the ER it's a hundred times worse than having to go for yourself even though you aren't feeling any actual physical pain, which I don't think you would say about your black friends or gay cousin. totally agreed that saying it out loud isn't ever really helpful but I'll still defend Tim Heidecker here because he clearly just doesn't know what to say besides "I believe them and we aren't working with him anymore"

That's valid, but we're moving away from the crucial point that the father/daughter statement isn't really about being a parent (though I agree with forks on that aspect), it's about gender and othering. Why do you relate to the abstract category of "woman" differently after you've fathered a woman? Why didn't that happen when you partnered with one? Or via the relationship with your own mother? When you hear about men being assaulted does that feel different from hearing about women (and if so, why)?

I mean if it happened the other way around I'd probably feel the same way but when you're talking about this sort of sexually predatory behavior it is like 99% men. either way idk if it's so much that you "relate to women" now as it is the idea of someone taking advantage of your child in a way that scars them is a sickening and infuriating thought, as is the thought that Callaghan was only like 17 when he started doing this which is still pretty damn young, and it also terrifies me to think my son could somehow turn out that way

Oh, well tbc, thinking about the actual parenting aspects of this problem seems like a normal, good, and responsible reaction to me!

But that isn't really what saying "as a father of daughters" signifies in the wider world, as La Lechera already addressed. Even if one means it to indicate parental concerns, it would be better to find a more precise way to say that—the shorthand implies a belated and doubtful arrival at basic human empathy, which also inadvertently (?) gives men who aren't parents, including abusers, permission to postpone feeling or acting on that empathy until they're adults, or possibly never.

Well fuck. I was hoping this dude was better than that. Especially as an aspiring reporter working in the social media medium. Kill your idols indeed.

he's put out a video response which I watched 10 seconds of it before closing it

nm just watched it

better than I expected which is not saying much because the bar was right above the earth's molten core

he asks if his victims would reach out for an apology - well the last time one of them reached out, you framed it as extortion, fuck you

I thought it was a good apology.

Seemed to take actual ownership which to me, is the only bar for a good apology and sadly is not hit by a lot of celebrities in these situations. If he does what he says he’s going to do re: 12 step, therapy, stepping away from public life, then it seems like he has himself on a good track to change.

I don’t know actually, some of the apology is a bit week. this all sucks

he also said "I"ve always taken no for an answer"

ffs this is the #1 thing on Reddit?

Deleting some crap I just tapped, ripping this apart. Fuck him. Yeah he said some of the good things he ought to, in the midst of loads of face saving, self-contradictory nonsense.

More women: https://www.thestranger.com/news/2023/02/28/78881322/two-women-accuse-documentary-filmmaker-andrew-callaghan-of-rape-sexual-assault

jesus, those stories are even worse

https://www.instagram.com/p/CurvACkPHln/

I honestly forgot all about this guy, but one of his videos about the border popped up in the margins of something else I was watching. I have no idea what ultimately came of the accusations or cancellation or rehabilitation, but it looks like he's doing some good work.