pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

i'm not really screaming into the void jordan i just don't want to work

Mac DeMarco: Five Easy Hot Dogs

*screams into the void*

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 10 January 2023 16:05 (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

good point, well made

god seriously

chartpop, dinosaur rock and bon-iver-esque vibesy bilge

mac demarco is hella cringe

music
makes the people
come together

If there’s one thing the Smashing Pumpkins at which have always excelled, it’s making melodramatic rock.

The next sentence says that their expansive new album "plans to do just that" (make melodramic rock?)

speculation: pfork is experimenting with publishing articles composed by ai

As long as we're piling on, I really can't believe "whatever comes next will be the icing on the cake" made it past an editor

Kate NV is on the list, so it's not all bad

So is Fever Ray

"whatever comes next on the cake will be the icing"

You can't eat your cake and have it make melodramatic rock too

So is Fever Ray

― Evan

"Temperatures are running high for this hotly anticipated release."

After the superstar’s outstanding seventh studio album shook the table yet again for pop, R&B, and dance music, a cake that was sitting on the table was disturbed... so the cake needs to be reassembled, and fresh icing applied. Whatever comes next will be that icing! Too many Beyoncé albums have shaken the table; it's time for a Beyoncé album that ices a cake.

Fever Ray's new album "The Resulting Paste and the Icing Done"

Has anyone prompted the chat ai thing to rewrite this listbait piece yet?

Caking the habitual

"shaking the table" (per Urban Dictionary)

When someone says or does something that is usually unacceptable and makes people uncomfortable in order to make people talk about something

The act of causing conversation or starting drama.

huh, okay

Can you write a blurb for the most anticipated album release of 2023?
--

I'm sorry, as my knowledge cutoff was in 2021, I do not have knowledge about the most anticipated album releases of 2023, however, I can help you write a blurb for an imagined upcoming album.

"2023's most highly-anticipated album release has finally arrived! The new album from [artist name] has been the talk of the industry for months and is sure to be a hit with music lovers of all genres. From the powerful vocals and undeniable hooks to the expertly crafted lyrics and emotive instrumentation, this album is a true masterpiece. Whether you're a long-time fan or new to the artist's work, you won't want to miss out on this one. With a mix of upbeat tracks and ballads, it's guaranteed to make you dance, sing along and reflect about life. The artist's unique sound and undeniable talent shines through on every track, making this album a must-listen for anyone who appreciates great music. Don't miss the release of [artist name]'s new album, available now!"

My Dick = [artist name]

>Write a Pitchfork piece on The 34 Most Anticipated Albums of 2023

As the calendar turns to 2023, music fans around the world are bracing themselves for a new year filled with incredible albums. From established artists returning with highly-anticipated follow-ups, to exciting new voices making their debut, there's no shortage of reasons to be excited about the next 12 months.

Here, we've compiled a list of 34 albums that we're particularly looking forward to in 2023, spanning a variety of genres and styles. Some of these albums have been announced and have release dates, others are highly rumored, and some are simply the product of our wishful thinking. But all of them are worth keeping an eye on.

Kendrick Lamar - The follow-up to Lamar's critically acclaimed 2017 album "DAMN." has been highly anticipated for years, and early reports suggest that it will be worth the wait.

Taylor Swift - The pop megastar has been working on her ninth studio album, and fans are eagerly awaiting new music from one of the most successful and consistent hitmakers of the past decade.

Frank Ocean - Ocean has proven to be one of the most enigmatic and exciting artists of his generation, and his next album is sure to be a highly-anticipated event.

Daft Punk - The legendary electronic duo have announced their retirement and a final album release in 2023, making it one of the most expected album of the year.

Nick Cave - Cave is one of the most respected and accomplished songwriters of his generation, and his next album promises to be a typically ambitious and adventurous affair.

The 1975 - The British band have announced their fourth album, which will be a concept album, they have a lot of expectation to fullfil after the success of their last album.

Radiohead - The band's last album, "A Moon Shaped Pool," was released in 2016, and fans are eagerly awaiting their next release.

Björk - Björk is one of the most innovative and singular voices in music, and her next album is sure to be a fascinating and boundary-pushing work.

Dr. Dre - The legendary producer and rapper has been working on a new album for years, and it seems that 2023 may finally be the year it sees the light of day.

Lorde - Lorde's sophomore album, "Melodrama," was one of the most acclaimed albums of 2017, and her next release will be highly anticipated.

Rihanna - Rihanna has promised that her next album will be more "dancehall-inspired," which has fans excited to hear her take on the genre.

Arctic Monkeys - The band has announced their sixth album, which will be produced by James Ford, a frequent collaborator, ensuring that the band will continue to deliver solid rock songs.

Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes' last album was released in 2017, and fans are eagerly awaiting the band's next release.

Vampire Weekend - The band's last album was released in 2013, and fans are excited to see what they've been working on for the past decade.

Arcade Fire - Arcade Fire's last album, "Everything Now," was released in 2017, and fans are looking forward to the band's next release.

Tame Impala - Tame Impala's last album, "Currents," was released in 2015, and fans are excited to hear what Kevin Parker has been working on in the meantime.

The Weeknd - The Weeknd's last album, "After Hours," was released in 2020, and fans are excited

did superdrag make the list? John Davis recently tweeted “what if we put out our best album ever in 2023?” or something

Damn that sounds great! I need [artist name]'s new deluxe swirl dual color limited edition vinyl, if I miss out I'll shrivel up and die!!!

FANS ARE EXCITED

If I don't get My Dick's latest release in my hands right now, I'll shrivel up and die!

Gonna need two hands

imagine a world where Superdrag makes this list ... it's beautiful

as long as we're piling on indeed-

the final word is that thar was THEE least enthusiastic "anticipation" piece i've seen in a while. very much "things repeat forever and there never is a remedy" energy.

that thar

not a mistake

Rihanna especially pushes the edge in [NAME RELEVANT SONG FROM R9 THAT MATCHES DESCRIPTION], where she sings: [LYRICS]

I do remember a time when all the songs by Rihanna on the radio were just her singing about money, it was a little embarrassing tbh.

BBHMM is a 21st century pop standard

what are the other songs she sings about money

please don't call tabes on their bluff

umbrellas are the original nfts

Love the Way You Lire

bitch better have my monkey

“Pour it Up” came out several years before BBHMM but both played often on the radio in my then-location, more than any of the other singles from the respective albums.

Fwiw I like Rihanna, actually, but neither PiU nor BBHMM are her best work imho

You record one song with the title “Bitch Better Have My Money” and you’re forever tagged as someone that only writes about money.

Moreover, she’s just one of the six credited songwriters of “Bitch Better Have My Money.”

just imagine if even one of them weren't paid what they were owed

Fwiw I like Rihanna, actually, but neither PiU nor BBHMM are her best work imho

"Bitch Better Have My Melody" in her next batch of tunes... because the melody in that one is honestly a bit lacking.

Sounds like Geir’s memoir title

She also sang about the shine of diamonds and the hard values of... working

and otoh, falling in love with a homeless man

9.1 for... Stillmatic??

I know they like to context-set in these Sunday reviews, but asking a general reader to wade through nine introductory paragraphs about a Nas/Jay-Z beef feels like a real stretch.

I was wondering when it was going to turn into a review of the album Stillmatic by Nas (9.1)
But I had no idea about the specifics of the Jay-Nas rivalry so that was interesting to me at least

too few introductory paragraphs imo

Jay-Z / Nas hip-hop throw down? & other throw-downs?
Jay-Z / Nas hip-hop throw down? & other throw-downs? Pt. 2: The Saga Continues.
Jay-Z/Nas and other hip-hop throwdowns? Pt. 3: Still Going . . .
Jay Z/ Nas and other hiphop throwdowns...resurrected. Part 4