Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

deflatormouse, what wonderful posts that I can relate to so much. I have lots (and lots) of my own stuff - psychological, emotional and otherwise, and I'm just now coming to terms with the fact that I've lived with ptsd for most of my life without really understanding it as such. it's a lot! I have thought a lot about putting that on other folks - and I've had to be reminded again and again that relationships can handle it, and in fact, most often thrive in the honesty. still hard to remember that.

knowing your limitations is soooo important but I also know the feeling of not wanting to pigeonhole yourself. so much to keep the mind busy here!

(thank you for sharing)

how you all doing?

we had a really nice and relaxing social night with another couple last night. they made us dinner and then we just sat around watching music videos. not really much anxiety at all, felt refreshing for a change. also been taking a break from weed (only because i ran out). probably getting more this weekend but thinking i need to keep it out of work and social contexts more proactively. feeling old and weird lately. the pandemic was such a continuous present and now it's like 3 years since 2020. ok.

boyfriend basically resigned from his bad job and is hunting for something else, poor guy. i have a little extra dough so we're going to the desert this weekend. and then flying to l.a. the beginning of march for a long weekend. we've been wanting to do that trip for literally two years but had to cancel for various reasons most of them having to do with money. beach, getty, sawtelle japanese food on the agenda, and hopefully some meetups with pals.

:)

wow i haven't been to sawtelle in a hot minute. i did have very good sushi at a place called Sushi Enya in little tokyo the other night, which i immediately texted stevie about lol. hope your man's job search isn't too stressful, map.

no complaints in the new year so far, other than a weird cough that keeps coming and going at random times. it has rained so much this year already, which is kinda wild. speaking of trips, i'm thinking about taking a working vacation in the bay area sometime this spring (trying to save up actual vacation days since i basically blew through all of mine last year). i ventured to seattle by myself last year and i think i wanna make a yearly solo trip a recurring thing. partner and i always travel and do things together and i love it, but i think it's also nice to be somewhere unfamiliar on one's own every so often.

also got a haircut last weekend. always a nice confidence boost!

aw i didn't realize stevie was a sushi fan <3. on j's job hunt, thank you, so far so good, i'm actually less stressed since he left that exploitative situation lol. he has some good fallback options just in case.

haircuts are always nice, been shaving my head for a few years but i splurge on a beard trim now and then. did so the other day and it's amazing how much a few expert snips can do for you.

sorry about that cough, i have a lingering one myself. and yes solo travel can be wonderful.

our mountain range's snow pack is at 200% for this time of year, which is only good news for us. i hope all the moisture means a mellower wildfire season but somehow i doubt it.

Y'all sound like you're doing okay :)

I'm planning a solo trip to Ireland in late February. I have no problem with them.

xp re: sawtelle, it only makes sense because we're staying in west l.a. in a little budget motel. we'll be bussing around but would definitely take a ride closer to your hood for a meet up.

oo how exciting re: ireland! what's on your to do list?

nice that things seem to be going swell, map.

all’s well here, i am teaching six courses of varying lengths between now and May, so I’m a little nervous about my state over the next few months, but figure it’ll be okay, just more talking.

lots of good news and publications on the horizon with my poetry, which is good.

t and i are doing well, he is also between jobs at the moment which means we see each other a lot more, though that will end in the next week. it’s been overall great for our relationship, i think, being in between jobs and semesters at the same time. as he said to me, it’s the first time we’ve both been on an extended break from work since we began dating.

we’re currently planning a trip for my parents to meet his side of the family that lives in O’ahu. feels a little insane that it’s never happened since we’re coming up on 12 years together (in April), but it seems the right time.

anyway, despite my recent bouts of being an asshole on here, i am feeling pretty well— we had a great new year and 2023 looks better to me than 2022

i also love traveling alone, donna and alfred.

Pretty amazing find here:

Hi everyone, today I'm uploading the first 20 issues of New York Native newspaper scanned off microfiche to archive dot org. Probably NYC's premier gay newspaper in the '80s, they were first reporters on the AIDS crisis. You can find the first issue here:https://t.co/R5y523uC0m pic.twitter.com/jWWJ3JPRAx

— Leah Tigers (@9BillionTigers) January 18, 2023

oh wow, that's nifty. would be curious to glance through.

thanks for the updates, everyone. tabes I don't think you've been an ass. I mean, no more than we all get to be, sometimes.

MAP! I am doing the EXACT same thing with weed. it had to crescendo I guess before I could understand exactly what it was doing to me. I took an edible one day and the anxiety machine inside my body skyrocketed to another level. it was surreal. so for the moment, I'm off weed and caffeine - weed, specifically in work and social situations, as you say. feels great. curious to see how it'll go once I start indulging for music and alone time etc.

I like to hear of everyone's travels, and respective breaks from work. how lovely. I unfortunately have not had much of either, and work is a relative disaster at the moment. it's fairly useless going into it, other than to say that this year is going to be a slog and I have no hope for a raise until next, at a time when 2 rolls of paper towel cost $8 and a coffee $6. what is happening. I'm trying to remain grateful - it's my New Year's resolution - but I haven't been succeeding much lately, instead focusing on sequestering myself off from the world and writing in my journal. lol I don't mean to sound so nihilistic, it's just ... a dark tunnel at the moment. we'll see how a week off next week plays into my mood.

oh a week off! it sounds like you really need it - glad that's coming your way.

i've been on an emotional rollercoaster lately which is business as usual lol. i was very tired last week. feeling somewhat better this week. the whole hook up / play on the side thing .. sometimes feel like i'm just too much of a mess emotionally to manage that tbh. feel like it's cutting back / cutting things out season for me.

we went to an opera yesterday! (daughter of the regiment.) surprised by how swept away i was, and how comfortable the whole experience was (except for opera queens sizing me up during the intermission haha). i'm definitely going to more symponies, operas, etc. this year, much more enjoyable for me than a movie i think.

that's awesome. i work at an opera house! :D

emotional rollercoaster ... is pretty much my MO. lol.

hyd today?

hey swen, feeling pretty darn good, and yourself?

awww good! yeah i dunno i'm taking things very calmly today - waiting for the other shoe to drop lol. beautiful day here which is perking me up. listening to livin' on a prayer radio haha :P :P :P

lol i love that for you, sorry to be saying that cliche but it's true! i feel ya on the 'ambient anxiety about looming stuff' situation. taking things calmly sure helps. i've been thinking about a negative interaction i have to deal with on a weekly basis and i've resolved to take the heat out of it and set a firm boundary instead.

love it. i'm doing something similar psychologically today - realizing that there's always going to be a deluge of work and stress so there's no point in rushing it. one step at a goddamn time. :D

what have you been listening to lately (besides opera, which i love for YOU!)? ;-)

haha, i've been listening to metal and sort of vibing to the religious aspect of it, like magical beliefs and stuff but all directed towards evil and death. it's a good way to process pain XD

can i namedrop for a second? i got propositioned on scruff by a4r0n of h0nch0, the dj / dance music group out of p1ttsburgh. he lives in s4lt l4ke 6 months out of the year i guess, to ski afaict. he's pretty hot but idk seems wisest to keep 'nsa' and 'dj' separate. also probably rich and i don't rly like hooking up with rich dudes, it leaves me with sour grapes. i had a good jo thinking about it though lol.

hey y'all

happy to read about some measure of peace here

and piece! lol

whhat! you have to hook up with him! he's hella cute.

also love your metal music catharsis, right there wit u

hmmmm ok girl you are 'tipping' me the other way

i MEAN come on what are girlfriends for, thicc beard boy + music is an easy win

man y'all

stop talking about pieces and tips

I've two hours left in the office before I go home

What's a piece?

a little bit o’ cake

donna!

with some rose hip herbal tea to wash it down.

:D :D :D

mm best song about cake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlI7FzN8Pcw

https://media.tenor.com/5Qwph1nu5GcAAAAd/labyrinth-david-bowie.gif

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leK4eoqwmfU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRxViRWEaSE

https://flxt.tmsimg.com/assets/p11069125_p_v8_ab.jpg

oh lordy that sugar & cake track is very sweet

so are you bb

awwwwwwwwww *blush*

The week's best thread.

I don’t have much to add here beyond I looked up the dude map mentioned and uh yeah hit that, regrets are for tomorrow

Although they found super-gonorrhea in my state last week so I’m not following my own advice

oh no. reminds me i'm about due for some testing. the admin work supporting non-monogamy is not insignificant lol.

would yall believe i got chatted up by a guy who i think is even hotter though, who also likes running trails. i was pretty fast on settling the coffee date logistics with that one. like i was chatting with him at the same time i was chatting with mr h0nch0, and h0nch0 was taking second chair. he is going to find this thread isn't he. well that's enough boy chatter from me *wraps phone cord around finger*

i feel like your name should be Kristy rn!!!

oh what a coincidence, i just filed a name change request for "Kristy"!!!

no last name, just Kristy

map i don't think he's rich but i do think he has a nice lifestyle in that city. if that matters

map, ya pushed me into starting a Scruff account

j0rdan! thanks for the tip. i won't go into the nitty gritty but i guess i'm a little jealous. sometimes best not to hook up with the guys you secretly want to be. my emotions might kick me in the ass. maybe i can set all that aside and have a little fun but i'm not sure. think i'll at least ask if he wants to meet for coffee and go from there. right now though i'm also kind of into feeding the home fire. husband needs extra support while looking for a job. i might need the outlet though. neway.

xp to alfred best of luck chasing the pogonophiles!

h 0 t m 4 s s is a great party tho if you ever end up out there. i had a wonderful bathhouse experience