U.S. Politics January 2023: Kevin McCarthy's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Life

lol here's from Hern's house bio:

"After undergrad, Kevin went on to work as an Aerospace Engineer for Rockwell International. When the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster rocked the aerospace industry, Kevin was out of work."

he minored in fast-food management as a fall-back

Rosendale is a rep I have never heard of or seen before today. He seems annoying as fuck.

eric trump is more pathetic than charlie kirk

https://i.imgur.com/2H94VD3.png

eric trump is more pathetic than charlie kirk

At least he's better than somebody at something.

he's better than me at having money, i'll give him that

kind of a naive question, probably, but is there any reason for any member of the GOP to be sitting next to Santos and chatting with him, other than extracting promises from him in exchange for looking the other way about lying about his entire life?

So. many. plans.

“We have been accused of not having a plan while we have presented many many plans and even presenting two plans simultaneously right now,” said Boebert.

Anyone remember McCarthy's Newt-lite blueprint from last fall? Seems even more pathetic now in light of the last few days:

The GOP’s so-called “Commitment to America,” spearheaded by House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy of California, is a broad four-pronged pitch to voters, hinging on promises to create an “economy that’s strong,” “a nation that’s safe,” “a future that’s built on freedom” and “a government that’s accountable.”

"A chicken for every pot" was catchier.

I thought she was a huge fan of Donalds

She meant McDonalds.

Just realizing that Kevin Hern is behind VYPE, this regional high school football magazine where every cover looks like a bad mixtape featuring minors.

mccarthy's support drops from 201 to 200, although it's unclear why. Rep. Buck didn't vote.

JAN. 28, 1986
Cape Canaveral, Florida

McCARTHY [who is completely charred from head to toe]: I dunno? Let's try it again at least five more times and see what happens?

xpost er, what i mean is it's unclear if Buck will continue to abstain in the next round or if he'll go back to McCarthy.

looks like they're finally able to Stop the Steal

Will Buck re-Buck?

lol pplains

Colleague @ChadPergram reports that GOP CO Rep-elect Ken Buck is traveling to a medical appointment. He is now out tonight and most of the day tomorrow

— Kelly Phares (@kellyfphares) January 5, 2023

Growing GOP chatter/concern among some GOP members who may have to miss the speakership vote if it keeps dragging out due to various circumstances.

Have heard the names of three so far.

Thread x2

— Olivia Beavers (@Olivia_Beavers) January 5, 2023

that's 4. doesn't that give hakeem a majority on the floor?

Laughing about this is giving me a Hern-ia

The Democrats need to start walking around the floor and talking to the dumbest Rs. The real fell-victim-to-the-wallet-inspector types. "Just go home. Talk to your constituents. Ask them what they think you should do. Give it some real thought, and then come back and vote your conscience." The *instant* 11 of them are gone, call another vote and bam! Speaker Jeffries.

Ah, I see we're down to the B-minus Boeberts in the wing now

LOL, and Boebert won't be upstaged

lol they can't adjourn. They lack the vote.

The idea of actually wanting to be in the House seems ludicrous

When you're retired and DGAF

What was Nancy Pelosi reading on the House floor today during the Speaker vote?

A remarkable capture by @AP_Images. pic.twitter.com/NQX7eF8O7l

— Matt McDermott (@mattmfm) January 5, 2023

Democrats should nominate Pelosi next time for the lulz.

they could already be balls deep in the Foreign and UnAmerican Covid Investigation (FAUCI) hearings if they got their shit together

there is a danger in scheduling tweets

With the new House Republican majority, accountability is coming for Joe Biden and his failed administration!

— GOP (@GOP) January 5, 2023

breaking

🚨 NEW: Sources tell us a deal between MCCARTHY and his opponents is close.

CHIP ROY and PATRICK MCHENRY have been negotiating it

All the big players are now in TOM EMMER's 1st floor office.

RALPH NORMAN says he expects an offer in writing tonight

w @bresreports/@heatherscope

— Jake Sherman (@JakeSherman) January 5, 2023

Excited for the budget and debt ceiling votes.

GOP CO Rep-elect Ken Buck

Briefly conflated this with Ken Bone and my heart skipped a beat

Ken Buck, Buck Angel's business pseudonym

jfc Santos, how many times can you possibly miss your name on the roll call?

it's his first day of school and he's excited because he doesn't know if he's going to be a goth or a prep yet

To be fair Santos is only one of his many names, he gets confused.

To be fair Santos is only one of his many names aliases

c-span commentator says that word of the deal between mccarthy and the dumbest people in his party is that it the rules package will include a reduction to just 1 person to bring a motion to vacate the speakership (which was expected, i think), but that it's only expected to win over about 10 of the 20 holdouts. so, i guess he's going to need to concede some more in order to win over another handful of them so that he can begin his weeklong stint as speaker

Can it be the same one person over and over, all day long? Because maybe that's what they're going to spend the next two years doing.

here comes vote #11

in a dark time, this really brightens the heart

If someone told me it wasn't 'fashionable' to talk about freedom, I think I'd just have to look him square in the eye and say, 'Okay, YOU TELL ME what's fashionable'.' But he won't. And you know why? Because you can't ask someone what's fashionable in a smart-alecky way like that. You have to be friendly and say, 'By the way, what's fashionable?'

sorry idk why i posted that. makes about as much sense as anything else going on.

here comes gaetz to nominate trump.

this is going to bump trump past john quincy adams for the all-important record for most votes received by a former president for speaker of the house

Karl, have you been watching this dreck all day

Join us in the Hitchcock thread

it's like asmr for weirdos

i mean, matt gaetz just said "we can raise our gaze indeed" and the eyebrows of the guy behind him raised sharply. this is good shit

Is this like The Yellow Wallpaper?