pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

this is an objective discrepancy-

if i'm listening to music on my smartphone (android+spotify) and i navigate to pfork on my browser (brave), something on the site commandeers the volume on my phone and knocks it down significantly (both via headphones or bluetooth, whatever i'm using at the time).

it's a minor annoyance, but also very wtf-ey. leave my shit alone, damn.

what is new about taylor swift? i could see like an artist like sophie fitting that, just in terms of ok this doesn't sound like it could have been created in the past, swift is pretty traditional

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, December 14, 2022 3:59 PM (two weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

Just in that she's influenced other artists to write songs like her, and so the direction of pop styles has "progressed" as a result of her popularity – in the sense that change is "forward movement" (but I get that's not what "progress" is supposed to mean)

― Wet Legume (morrisp), Wednesday, December 14, 2022 4:01 PM (two weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

I think tim f made a good case that compositionally/formally she is 'progressing'

xp oh yes, pitchfork site famous for commandeering audio. because when would you ever possibly be wanting to read about music while listening to music?

it's infuriating! one of the few sites left that completely stops my audio when i click to it

Good to know that's not just my phone setup. I'll only check out Pitchfork on a computer.

... where lately I always take a minute to stare at the short preview loop of the Alvvays interview video. Molly nodding and turning and adjusting her shirtsleeve is oddly mesmerizing.

That just me?

I mean, it *was* just you. But now that you've mentioned it, I can't look away.

https://media.tenor.com/wm5HEerpuNoAAAAC/the-usual-suspects-benicio-del-toro.gif

lol wrong thread, or not

Quite a few of “The 34 Most Anticipated Albums of 2023” are dated “TBA,” and the blurb says something like, “we don’t know if this artist has music coming out anytime soon, but we can hope!”

Some really terrible writing in a few of those entries, too

Also, maybe I live in a bubble, but is anyone out there actually "anticipating" a new Gorillaz album?

Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd is Lana Del Rey’s first album since 2021

Will anyone remember her after such a hiatus?

Rihanna’s long-awaited follow-up to 2016’s Anti somehow seems closer than ever.

I mean, it would be

If there’s one thing the Smashing Pumpkins at which have always excelled, it’s making melodramatic rock.

the choices in that article are almost perfectly emblematic of the prevailing dual critical focus on chartpop and yet also dinosaur rock, for some reason

mush for brains

https://i.imgur.com/kgcuRmj.jpg

saw that 'anticipated albums' thing yesterday and had all of the exact same issues that you guys do. i'm actively trying not to be a grump so i didn't say anything.

but it's also good to know i'm not alone in my cynicism lol

i have seen the light. metallica have always banged hardest

Pitchfork stumps for far worse bands than current day Metallica on a regular basis

what's that new one -- Horsepaste or something?

Mac DeMarco: Five Easy Hot Dogs

*screams into the void*

the problem with all these most-anticipated albums list is that artists don't announce their albums months ahead of time anymore! the only hard release dates in there are in february. the rest is just baseless speculation

apologies to expert planners fever ray (march) and smashing pumpkins (april)

you guys really enjoy getting mad over nonsense

Where's Magna Carta...Holy Grail 10th Anniversary Deluxe Edition?

i'm not really screaming into the void jordan i just don't want to work

Mac DeMarco: Five Easy Hot Dogs

*screams into the void*

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 10 January 2023 16:05 (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

good point, well made

god seriously

chartpop, dinosaur rock and bon-iver-esque vibesy bilge

mac demarco is hella cringe

music
makes the people
come together

If there’s one thing the Smashing Pumpkins at which have always excelled, it’s making melodramatic rock.

The next sentence says that their expansive new album "plans to do just that" (make melodramic rock?)

speculation: pfork is experimenting with publishing articles composed by ai

As long as we're piling on, I really can't believe "whatever comes next will be the icing on the cake" made it past an editor

Kate NV is on the list, so it's not all bad

So is Fever Ray

"whatever comes next on the cake will be the icing"

You can't eat your cake and have it make melodramatic rock too

So is Fever Ray

― Evan

"Temperatures are running high for this hotly anticipated release."

After the superstar’s outstanding seventh studio album shook the table yet again for pop, R&B, and dance music, a cake that was sitting on the table was disturbed... so the cake needs to be reassembled, and fresh icing applied. Whatever comes next will be that icing! Too many Beyoncé albums have shaken the table; it's time for a Beyoncé album that ices a cake.

Fever Ray's new album "The Resulting Paste and the Icing Done"

Has anyone prompted the chat ai thing to rewrite this listbait piece yet?

Caking the habitual

"shaking the table" (per Urban Dictionary)

When someone says or does something that is usually unacceptable and makes people uncomfortable in order to make people talk about something

The act of causing conversation or starting drama.

huh, okay

Can you write a blurb for the most anticipated album release of 2023?
--

I'm sorry, as my knowledge cutoff was in 2021, I do not have knowledge about the most anticipated album releases of 2023, however, I can help you write a blurb for an imagined upcoming album.

"2023's most highly-anticipated album release has finally arrived! The new album from [artist name] has been the talk of the industry for months and is sure to be a hit with music lovers of all genres. From the powerful vocals and undeniable hooks to the expertly crafted lyrics and emotive instrumentation, this album is a true masterpiece. Whether you're a long-time fan or new to the artist's work, you won't want to miss out on this one. With a mix of upbeat tracks and ballads, it's guaranteed to make you dance, sing along and reflect about life. The artist's unique sound and undeniable talent shines through on every track, making this album a must-listen for anyone who appreciates great music. Don't miss the release of [artist name]'s new album, available now!"

My Dick = [artist name]

>Write a Pitchfork piece on The 34 Most Anticipated Albums of 2023

As the calendar turns to 2023, music fans around the world are bracing themselves for a new year filled with incredible albums. From established artists returning with highly-anticipated follow-ups, to exciting new voices making their debut, there's no shortage of reasons to be excited about the next 12 months.

Here, we've compiled a list of 34 albums that we're particularly looking forward to in 2023, spanning a variety of genres and styles. Some of these albums have been announced and have release dates, others are highly rumored, and some are simply the product of our wishful thinking. But all of them are worth keeping an eye on.

Kendrick Lamar - The follow-up to Lamar's critically acclaimed 2017 album "DAMN." has been highly anticipated for years, and early reports suggest that it will be worth the wait.

Taylor Swift - The pop megastar has been working on her ninth studio album, and fans are eagerly awaiting new music from one of the most successful and consistent hitmakers of the past decade.

Frank Ocean - Ocean has proven to be one of the most enigmatic and exciting artists of his generation, and his next album is sure to be a highly-anticipated event.

Daft Punk - The legendary electronic duo have announced their retirement and a final album release in 2023, making it one of the most expected album of the year.

Nick Cave - Cave is one of the most respected and accomplished songwriters of his generation, and his next album promises to be a typically ambitious and adventurous affair.

The 1975 - The British band have announced their fourth album, which will be a concept album, they have a lot of expectation to fullfil after the success of their last album.

Radiohead - The band's last album, "A Moon Shaped Pool," was released in 2016, and fans are eagerly awaiting their next release.

Björk - Björk is one of the most innovative and singular voices in music, and her next album is sure to be a fascinating and boundary-pushing work.

Dr. Dre - The legendary producer and rapper has been working on a new album for years, and it seems that 2023 may finally be the year it sees the light of day.

Lorde - Lorde's sophomore album, "Melodrama," was one of the most acclaimed albums of 2017, and her next release will be highly anticipated.

Rihanna - Rihanna has promised that her next album will be more "dancehall-inspired," which has fans excited to hear her take on the genre.

Arctic Monkeys - The band has announced their sixth album, which will be produced by James Ford, a frequent collaborator, ensuring that the band will continue to deliver solid rock songs.

Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes' last album was released in 2017, and fans are eagerly awaiting the band's next release.

Vampire Weekend - The band's last album was released in 2013, and fans are excited to see what they've been working on for the past decade.

Arcade Fire - Arcade Fire's last album, "Everything Now," was released in 2017, and fans are looking forward to the band's next release.

Tame Impala - Tame Impala's last album, "Currents," was released in 2015, and fans are excited to hear what Kevin Parker has been working on in the meantime.

The Weeknd - The Weeknd's last album, "After Hours," was released in 2020, and fans are excited

did superdrag make the list? John Davis recently tweeted “what if we put out our best album ever in 2023?” or something

Damn that sounds great! I need [artist name]'s new deluxe swirl dual color limited edition vinyl, if I miss out I'll shrivel up and die!!!

FANS ARE EXCITED