― Bumfluff, Thursday, 5 August 2004 20:27 (fifteen years ago) link
― Bumfluff, Thursday, 5 August 2004 20:31 (fifteen years ago) link
Ronan909: data's is funnierSIMONTRIFE: i mean it was a lot funnier than when fucking ryker did itSIMONTRIFE: yeahSIMONTRIFE: so data like goes back to his room to cryRonan909: cos if someone did it to ryker he'd not be smiling in that fucking smug waySIMONTRIFE: only he cant bcz he doesnt have the emotion chipRonan909: hahaSIMONTRIFE: i really wd probably beat the shit out of him Ronan909: he was in north and south tooSIMONTRIFE: THIS ONES FOR WORF Ronan909: imagine the entire crew dancing to get lowSIMONTRIFE: 'number one'Ronan909: hahaSIMONTRIFE: hahaSIMONTRIFE: i can imagine like data doingthe running man SIMONTRIFE: stop being so fucking SERIOUSSIMONTRIFE: why is no one gay in the futureRonan909: yeahRonan909: they have replicated the problem away thanks to rykerSIMONTRIFE: the closest to gay wd be like ryker wd fall in love with some woman who turns out to be a shapeshifterRonan909: hahaRonan909: that would be hilariousSIMONTRIFE: she shouldve turned into molten lava while rykers dick was in herRonan909: he's about to fuck her and then its likeSIMONTRIFE: dude that was an episodeSIMONTRIFE: except the lavaRonan909: "ambassador tomalahawk, you ROMULAN SCUM"SIMONTRIFE: her real form was this furry rat thingRonan909: "I was working undercover picard, i knew it was ambassador tomahawk"SIMONTRIFE: hahaSIMONTRIFE: everyones a racist in the futureRonan909: remember his son appeared or somethingRonan909: and it was a bugSIMONTRIFE: i love the movie with kirk and the klingonsRonan909: yeahSIMONTRIFE: thats seriously my favorite movie of all timeRonan909: kirk at least tried to sleep with womenSIMONTRIFE: its even better than wrath of khanRonan909: they made them assexual in the next gen cos they were so embarassedSIMONTRIFE: kirk is fucking ruggedRonan909: do you mean the one where kirk and co get framedSIMONTRIFE: even when he was old he still was a pimpSIMONTRIFE: yeah and sent to the ice planet!!Ronan909: hahaSIMONTRIFE: kirk actually fucks a shapeshifter in that tooRonan909: yeahRonan909: shapeshifters are the modern day trannySIMONTRIFE: and bones is like rolling his eyesSIMONTRIFE: 'here he goes again'SIMONTRIFE: that movie is awesomeRonan909: bones is kind of sexually deadRonan909: and just dead in every senseSIMONTRIFE: it has the skank from sex in the city as spocks little vulcan girlSIMONTRIFE: she overenunciates everythingSIMONTRIFE: well he is dead nowSIMONTRIFE: the actorSIMONTRIFE: theres an old episode where he fucks a shapeshifter tooSIMONTRIFE: it turns out to be a monster that eats salt and has a vagina for a faceSIMONTRIFE: a vagina with teeth!Ronan909: hahaRonan909: the old ones are all about weirdo mind controlRonan909: and kind of eerie character warpingRonan909: the new ones are like BIG MORAL ISSUESSIMONTRIFE: kirk would make a good rapperRonan909: NO JOKESSIMONTRIFE: i bet he refuses to go down on girlsSIMONTRIFE: bcz hes james t fucking kirkRonan909: warf would be a good rapperRonan909: it involves BITINGSIMONTRIFE: haha and in the klingon movie you learn at the klingon trial his middle name is TIBERIUSSIMONTRIFE: 'i like earth bitches'Ronan909: eastside boys featuring james tiberius kirkSIMONTRIFE: lil kirkRonan909: "I Fuck All Races"SIMONTRIFE: remember worfs son!!!Ronan909: hahaSIMONTRIFE: he was such a little shitRonan909: and his brother or cousin or whoeverRonan909: who kept calling him a pussy for wearing his fancy earthman sashRonan909: in fairness they were right, that ship was full of twatsSIMONTRIFE: hahaRonan909: "perhaps i like twee anglophilia brother"SIMONTRIFE: yeah remember like when worf goes back to the klingon home planet and theyre like 'wtf'Ronan909: "but WESLEY CRUSHER, HE IS WHAT WE CALL A FOOL"SIMONTRIFE: all the klingons cant believe hes hanging out with these total losers Ronan909: hahaRonan909: ilxors as next generation SIMONTRIFE: q was asexual thoughRonan909: so he saidRonan909: he was actually quite coolSIMONTRIFE: calum is like on the old star trek when theyd meet some god and he wd fuck with them but then in the end he'd just be a big babyRonan909: sense of humourSIMONTRIFE: yeah anyone who makes picard so mad!!SIMONTRIFE: 'STOP IT Q'Ronan909: hahahaSIMONTRIFE: i guess he is calumnRonan909: "Q I FEEL GREAT ANGER TOWARDS YOU"SIMONTRIFE: 'Q I THINK WE SHOULD TALK THIS OVER'Ronan909: "Q I AM FURIOUS, HAVE YOU EVER READ SARTRES"SIMONTRIFE: kirk wouldve just kicked him in the teethSIMONTRIFE: he wouldve done that sideways kirk kicking thing where he lands on his assRonan909: "q theres a line on jay z's the blueprint, it reads simply 'i will not lose ever FUCKER'"SIMONTRIFE: the borg movie has a lot of hilarious stuff with picard talking abt herman melvilleRonan909: yeah hahaSIMONTRIFE: i guess literature just stopped!Ronan909: he always shitted on about obvious contemporary literatureRonan909: or cultureSIMONTRIFE: in the future nobody writes anything but self-help booksSIMONTRIFE: yeah i knowSIMONTRIFE: listening to bachSIMONTRIFE: white supremicistRonan909: "in normandy, when they're bedding the horses, they are always sure to say why not my beautiful vicar"SIMONTRIFE: hahahaRonan909: he is like captain MCDEPTHSIMONTRIFE: remember when he gets trapped in the elevator and he sings frere jacques to the kids!!Ronan909: i was just thinking of thatSIMONTRIFE: he wasnt even fucking frenchSIMONTRIFE: he has a british accent!! SIMONTRIFE: remember his vineyardRonan909: yeahRonan909: and geordie was so bored he was visiting his old bossSIMONTRIFE: haha sometimes they wd drink wine on the enterpriseRonan909: and play cardsSIMONTRIFE: theyre such 80s yuppiesRonan909: ryker the jazz fanRonan909: GUINANSIMONTRIFE: they would have like those 80s cd players that are really huge SIMONTRIFE: hahahaSIMONTRIFE: 'captain i am detecting the prescence of whoopi goldberg in a stupid hat'SIMONTRIFE: she looked like a fucking chess pieceRonan909: picards voice is so funnyRonan909: hahahaSIMONTRIFE: they could play three dimensional chess with her!!Ronan909: you know when he goes all slow and kind of contemplativeSIMONTRIFE: god they were always playing chess tooRonan909: yeahRonan909: they played 3d chess in deep space nineSIMONTRIFE: its funny to imagine teh rest of culture continued on without them but on the enterprise they just wanted everything to be old and european bcz they were white supremicistsSIMONTRIFE: like, everybody else in the galaxy is listening to get low 2450SIMONTRIFE: theyre like a bunch of renaissance faire nerdsSIMONTRIFE: its a show abt a bunch of nerds who fly around in a spaceship SIMONTRIFE: a bunch of rich white yuppie nerds Ronan909: yeahRonan909: they just lamely stun them on that oneRonan909: did they ever kill anyoneRonan909: in the entire thingSIMONTRIFE: maybe they like shot a cloud and then it gave birthSIMONTRIFE: 'we're witnessing something very beautiful here...'SIMONTRIFE: picard was like a shitty professorSIMONTRIFE: he was always making the crew gather round to look at stuff they didnt care aboutRonan909: hahaRonan909: "have some malt whiskey lieutenant"SIMONTRIFE: 'yemtemenos 8.... we finally made it'Ronan909: hahahaRonan909: they were all rapt with interest thoughSIMONTRIFE: haha they drank stupid yuppie wineRonan909: "captain i intend to take some rock samples for my studies"
SIMONTRIFE: they replicator was just one of the cardboard boxes of wine they sell at teh grocery storeSIMONTRIFE: they just put a piece of black plastic on itRonan909: "you do that lieutenant, WAIT, a cloud???? IN THIS GALAXY?"SIMONTRIFE: i imagine them just going from cloud to cloud SIMONTRIFE: uss retardRonan909: "cloud 9, i've heard of this one"
SIMONTRIFE: wtf was there mission anywaySIMONTRIFE: hahaRonan909: "to eliminate clouds"Ronan909: and take rock samplesSIMONTRIFE: 'hey... you...get offa my...'SIMONTRIFE: to learn lessons from cloudsRonan909: they just gave them a fake mission and threw wes crusher on boardSIMONTRIFE: to make the holodeck malfunction and almost kill everyoneSIMONTRIFE: hahaRonan909: to get rid of them allSIMONTRIFE: it was secretly a reality showRonan909: cos they were the worst bunch of bores everRonan909: they kept making faces when kirk or other federation cronies got lecherous or drunk or sexist. SIMONTRIFE: 'what happens... when nine crew members stop being real... and start getting polite' SIMONTRIFE: haha i knowSIMONTRIFE: they were likeRonan909: you can see thats true cos they hate all the old federation guys Ronan909: RAJON 5Ronan909: what was with the dumb names of planets too Ronan909: they sounded like washing up powders Ronan909: LUSTRE 7SIMONTRIFE: hard-on 12Ronan909: hahaRonan909: BALDHEAD 1Ronan909: captains log, supplementalSIMONTRIFE: STRONGO 14Ronan909: after rendez vousing with the venetian blinds on GETLOW 7SIMONTRIFE: his captains logs were fucking useless tooSIMONTRIFE: always making shit jokes in themRonan909: we have found a primitive culture known as "fun"SIMONTRIFE: or being really obscureRonan909: yeahRonan909: "the clouds have gone, for now, perhaps we were unable to understand them"Ronan909: and then it got all wonder yearsRonan909: "we didnt realise it and neither did they but that day our crew and the moons of Raijilicus 4 were closer than ever. SIMONTRIFE: 'i guess you could say we learned something from the rigelians... about ourselves'SIMONTRIFE: or he would smugly mention another crewmemberRonan909: this was truly a space miracle"
Ronan909: hahaSIMONTRIFE: my first cloudSIMONTRIFE: captain, dr crushers brother has died on VIETNAM 7Ronan909: "commander data meanwhile has not mastered the subtle art of bonhomie, but with my guidance, he shall continue to learn" Ronan909: hahaRonan909: they probably all sat around laughing at his captains logsSIMONTRIFE: we sent you through that cloud to collection ion samples!!SIMONTRIFE: hahaRonan909: "another cracker from jean luc"SIMONTRIFE: 'look... hes crying!!'SIMONTRIFE: god i know i sat around laughing at himRonan909: hahaSIMONTRIFE: i want to see the one where he cries so bad nowRonan909: there is so much mileage in mocking it thoughRonan909: what was his nephew calledSIMONTRIFE: 'he was.... so.... so... so YOUNG'Ronan909: lilianRonan909: or florentRonan909: or somethingSIMONTRIFE: he actually says thatRonan909: lilian-florentSIMONTRIFE: yeah something gaySIMONTRIFE: omg dude how cd i forget this!!!SIMONTRIFE: when he goes inside the ribbon that grants your wishesRonan909: hahahaSIMONTRIFE: and his wish is to have a gay charles dickens christmas with his family!!!Ronan909: and he's married to a victorian womanRonan909: hahahahaSIMONTRIFE: what a loser SIMONTRIFE: kirk is like chopping wood and getting back in bed with some green woman SIMONTRIFE: picards is just little brats going 'pa-PA!' SIMONTRIFE: 'faaaather...'Ronan909: hahaRonan909: it would have been so cool if “relax” played and picard is in some brothel looking aroused and disgusted with himself all at once. SIMONTRIFE: why is malcolm mcdowel in thatRonan909: the intro and then picard is like "nooooooooo"SIMONTRIFE: it really is a travestySIMONTRIFE: except when data says shitRonan909: THE NEXUSSIMONTRIFE: hhahaSIMONTRIFE: the enterprise is THE LEXUSRonan909: hahaSIMONTRIFE: cruise control, faux leather seatingSIMONTRIFE: beige EVERYTHINGSIMONTRIFE: picard was like 'make it beige, number one'Ronan909: its such a pathetic vision of depthRonan909: MAKE IT BEIGE, LIKE A FINE WINESIMONTRIFE: 'what color shd the spaceship be??' 'MAKE IT BEIGE'SIMONTRIFE: like my shriveled old man hea Ronan909: number one, i think you'll find the seats are plush leatherSIMONTRIFE: uss fleshtoneRonan909: easy on the rearRonan909: uss pofacedSIMONTRIFE: the old enterprise was coolSIMONTRIFE: all grey and simpleSIMONTRIFE: the new one had like cup-holders everywhereRonan909: the bar in the new one is the worstSIMONTRIFE: and stupid little ridgesSIMONTRIFE: hahaRonan909: it looks like the worst yuppie bar everRonan909: MAKE IT BLAND NUMBER ONERonan909: "aye aye sir"SIMONTRIFE: they were such fucking yuppiesRonan909: little did they know about warf and datas SEcrEt CrUnK parties in the holodeckSIMONTRIFE: ;make it crunk'SIMONTRIFE: worf probably listened to like tribal klingon musicRonan909: "what in the name of fornicating clouds is going on here warf"
Ronan909: i can imagine warf as an industrial fanRonan909: front 242SIMONTRIFE: 'it is too HARSH... for human ears... no melody... just rhythm'Ronan909: haha Ronan909: insane clown posseSIMONTRIFE: hahaRonan909: "its......too shit for human ears"
SIMONTRIFE: 'there is a lot of... sucking'Ronan909: haRonan909: there must be other charactersSIMONTRIFE: yeah we've hit the wall hereRonan909: i am saving this without doubtSIMONTRIFE: remember bajoransSIMONTRIFE: nose ridgesRonan909: horrible nosesSIMONTRIFE: yeah totally we have to make this into something SIMONTRIFE: 'tasteful suburban bookstore, 1988'SIMONTRIFE: 'macintosh computer, flying toasters screensaver'SIMONTRIFE: 'magazine rack, macworld magazine'Ronan909: hahaSIMONTRIFE: 'packaged biscotti, dry'Ronan909: music, tepid indieRonan909: clothes, amusing v neck sweaterRonan909: prejudices, multipleSIMONTRIFE: music, tribal grooveSIMONTRIFE: music, moby, playRonan909: worf is likeRonan909: place, klingon semen basement 2077SIMONTRIFE: sting, new albumRonan909: music, BEYOND HOLODECK COMPREHENSIONSIMONTRIFE: hahaRonan909: sex, full blown, many clowns.SIMONTRIFE: location, the very mild fetish clubRonan909: klingon sex is unusualSIMONTRIFE: sense of transgression from 'biting', third grade levelRonan909: "it involves...........clowns"
SIMONTRIFE: self-satisfaction, high SIMONTRIFE: 'klingon sex is... unusual... it doesnt... happen often... because i... live with my parents'Ronan909: and ryker is like "get that clown back to calgon 7 immediately warf"SIMONTRIFE: he would just smirk, 'nice little rimjob, worf' 'LITTLE Commander??'Ronan909: worf got deanna in the endSIMONTRIFE: in that same one he has to take the defense controls again and ryker goes 'sure you can remember what everything does?'SIMONTRIFE: what a dick!Ronan909: he pretended to be sensitive and care about clouds SIMONTRIFE: haha she can predict his bitingSIMONTRIFE: 'ohhh'Ronan909: the amount of her talking about other peoples thoughts you'd have to sit throughSIMONTRIFE: 'i sense... horniness... very much...'SIMONTRIFE: ugh SIMONTRIFE: worf had space-aidsSIMONTRIFE: didnt they have an aids episode?Ronan909: did theyRonan909: ryker disgusted by itRonan909: "FIRE PHOTON TORPEDOS, LETS KILL THIS VIRUS AND EVERYONE SUFFERING FROM IT"
SIMONTRIFE: thats a little too edgySIMONTRIFE: 'fucking faggots'SIMONTRIFE: ryker was disgusted all the timeSIMONTRIFE: hes like a slaveownerSIMONTRIFE: he was always either mocking someone lower than him or just grimacing in disgustSIMONTRIFE: that dumb-ass smirkRonan909: yeahRonan909: and the beardRonan909: enson, clean my quartersRonan909: "and dont forget the underwear, hmph-haha"
SIMONTRIFE: he grew the beard to look manly Ronan909: hahaSIMONTRIFE: brb!Ronan909: no wonder wes had parted hairSIMONTRIFE: i have to go!SIMONTRIFE: its been fun Ronan909: ok me too reallyRonan909: yes!SIMONTRIFE: we will pick this up againRonan909: definitely.SIMONTRIFE: more infantile star trek sex jokesRonan909: "have you ever read camus"SIMONTRIFE: the final acceptance we are never getting laid againRonan909: hahaRonan909: "theres a line on a beermat i read will"SIMONTRIFE: making two hours worth of star trek sex jokes Ronan909: its prob even worse than liking star trekRonan909: non ironicallySIMONTRIFE: yeah at least you can get star trek fangirlsSIMONTRIFE: like umSIMONTRIFE: later ronan!!Ronan909: see you!
― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 5 August 2004 20:50 (fifteen years ago) link
― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Thursday, 5 August 2004 20:57 (fifteen years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:03 (fifteen years ago) link
― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:09 (fifteen years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:10 (fifteen years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:11 (fifteen years ago) link
Ryker in fact falls in love with a person from a gender-neutral species.
worf probably listened to like tribal klingon musicHe actually listens to Klingon opera.
― Jimmy Carter, History's Greatest Monster (Leee), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:15 (fifteen years ago) link
― x j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:20 (fifteen years ago) link
BEST PC EPISODE EVER
― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:39 (fifteen years ago) link
― H (Heruy), Thursday, 5 August 2004 23:58 (fifteen years ago) link
― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 6 August 2004 00:05 (fifteen years ago) link
― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 6 August 2004 00:54 (fifteen years ago) link
― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 6 August 2004 05:24 (fifteen years ago) link
JD, yeah, me too... fuck.
― derrick (derrick), Friday, 6 August 2004 06:28 (fifteen years ago) link
― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 6 August 2004 06:56 (fifteen years ago) link
God, I am such a nerd.
― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 6 August 2004 06:59 (fifteen years ago) link
Looks like the combined effect of 'The Matrix' and reality TV has finally killed off Star Trek, which was something I used to think was one of those untouchable, uncancellable TV franchises.
― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Thursday, 3 February 2005 01:47 (fourteen years ago) link
This means that I not only believe in an alternate timeline for the original series, but that I also played a tactical simulator based on that timeline using counters and hexagons...
― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 3 February 2005 06:08 (fourteen years ago) link
― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 3 February 2005 06:12 (fourteen years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 3 February 2005 06:15 (fourteen years ago) link
― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 3 February 2005 12:21 (fourteen years ago) link
― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 February 2005 14:19 (fourteen years ago) link
But that's The American Way! Even the earliest books on the first series point out the show is about America in the '60s, esp foreign policy. Kirk = LBJ + JFK's libido...
I was a Trekkie on the original's reruns between ages 10 and 14, including NY conventions (circa '76) where the cast attended, including Shatner and Nimoy. Saw maybe 3 episodes of TNG, did zip for me.
Wrath of Khan's Burger King uniforms: awsum!
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 February 2005 14:48 (fourteen years ago) link
― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 3 February 2005 15:50 (fourteen years ago) link
― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 3 February 2005 16:04 (fourteen years ago) link
― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 3 February 2005 16:56 (fourteen years ago) link
― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 3 February 2005 17:06 (fourteen years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 3 February 2005 17:10 (fourteen years ago) link
― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 3 February 2005 17:55 (fourteen years ago) link
The biggest problem was that Enterprise was never really Star Trek. Yeah, they reference some of the same things, but to do the prequel they really had to make it more like cowboys in space, which doesn't really touch what I found most attractive about Star Trek. I think they did it to themselves, really, and unfortunately once they came up with the idea that it was a "prequel", there's only so far they could go towards making it more like the other Star Treks we knew and loved, without confusing the timeline, so to speak.
I hope they come up with another Trek series along the lines of Deep Space Nine. Or maybe they could do it as a sitcom: the kinda-dumb Data prototype (from the end of the last movie) stumbles through the future! Laughs ensue!
― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 3 February 2005 23:26 (fourteen years ago) link
― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 3 February 2005 23:39 (fourteen years ago) link
Counsellor Trios ass and tits were ok, but that nose ruined all. Still I bet Riker would often chuckle with Warf about how if she had a abg over her head he'd do her, and then Warf would probaby say "Yeah, and her fore head isnt bumpy enough". There was an episode when the crew was all morphin ginto prehistoric froms of themselves and Warf came on to Trio by saying "GET OUT OF THAT BATH! " and biting her. Not very romantic, those Vulcans. -- Mike Hanley (pennyson...), July 24th, 2001.
― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 4 February 2005 02:24 (fourteen years ago) link
― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 4 February 2005 02:41 (fourteen years ago) link
This article summed up a lot of my feelings pretty early on:http://www.thenation.com/doc.mhtml?i=20020325&s=minkowitz
― Pete Scholtes, Friday, 4 February 2005 03:40 (fourteen years ago) link
― jean luc picard motherfucker (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 18 February 2006 23:28 (thirteen years ago) link
― mike h. (mike h.), Sunday, 19 February 2006 02:27 (thirteen years ago) link
― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 19 February 2006 15:39 (thirteen years ago) link
― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 20 April 2006 15:52 (thirteen years ago) link
― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 20 April 2006 23:33 (thirteen years ago) link
― -+-+-++++, Thursday, 20 April 2006 23:46 (thirteen years ago) link
― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Friday, 4 August 2006 13:04 (thirteen years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 August 2006 13:26 (thirteen years ago) link
― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 4 August 2006 13:29 (thirteen years ago) link
― chap who would dare to start Raaatpackin (chap), Friday, 4 August 2006 13:37 (thirteen years ago) link
Reading Rainbow: "Behind the Scenes of Star Trek: TNG" (Orig. Aired 8/15/1988)
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 4 August 2006 13:39 (thirteen years ago) link
this = most otm thing ever.
― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Sunday, 6 August 2006 06:09 (thirteen years ago) link
there was a time when 3 different series were being shown at 6pm on bbc2 every week, tue, wed and thu. hard to imagine now.
― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Monday, 7 August 2006 08:20 (thirteen years ago) link
― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 18:03 (twelve years ago) link