I was 18 too, and thought I was way too old to be a virgin (almost all of my close friends had already had sex). The girl I was with was nice enough and the experience itself was not unpleasant at all, but it soon became obvious there was no real spark between us, so the whole thing ended within days and we never had sex for the second time.
― Tuomas, Thursday, 30 July 2009 07:22 (fourteen years ago) link
I don't know if I feel relieved or saddened that one person was younger than me. :-/
― Your Mother Smells Of Elderflower (Masonic Boom), Thursday, 30 July 2009 09:28 (fourteen years ago) link
A friend of mine lost his to a 30-something Polish woman. She preceded it by saying 'I will destroy you'
― gnarly sceptre, Friday, 31 July 2009 14:14 (fourteen years ago) link
And I know another dude who lost his during a Godspeed gig in Greece.
― gnarly sceptre, Friday, 31 July 2009 14:16 (fourteen years ago) link
So here's a question: at what age does one go from being simply "a virgin" to being a proper "adult virgin."
― EDB, Thursday, 12 July 2012 22:42 (eleven years ago) link
25
― Neil Jung (WmC), Friday, 13 July 2012 00:26 (eleven years ago) link
I guess I felt 25 was 'last of the adult age mileposts' because you can rent a car but that makes it even more depressing
― Team Safeword (Abbbottt), Friday, 13 July 2012 02:06 (eleven years ago) link
yeah pot should be legal at age 30
― iatee, Friday, 13 July 2012 02:07 (eleven years ago) link
Sex is for hippies
― calum-y maybe (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 13 July 2012 02:28 (eleven years ago) link
sex, weed, comfortable threads...hippies otm
― perry en concrète (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 13 July 2012 02:44 (eleven years ago) link
xp - is that what you tell your fiancee?
― sarahell, Friday, 13 July 2012 02:45 (eleven years ago) link
man i wish ilx had some comfortabnle threads i'm havin a mellow week and there's no fuckin place to hide in this motherfucker
― i read like cookie monster eats (darraghmac), Friday, 13 July 2012 02:54 (eleven years ago) link
try the suburbs
― sarahell, Friday, 13 July 2012 02:55 (eleven years ago) link
i dunno what an urb is but i'll be damned, madam, if i settle for a poor one on your say-so
― i read like cookie monster eats (darraghmac), Friday, 13 July 2012 02:58 (eleven years ago) link
pot legal at 30, heroin legal at 80 IMO
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Friday, 13 July 2012 14:53 (eleven years ago) link
depressing to realise how little my answer to this has changed over the years
― i read like cookie monster eats (darraghmac), Friday, 13 July 2012 15:20 (eleven years ago) link
isn't that how time works?
― 40oz of tears (Jordan), Friday, 13 July 2012 17:08 (eleven years ago) link
hush i'm trying for a sad bill murray vibe
― i read like cookie monster eats (darraghmac), Friday, 13 July 2012 17:12 (eleven years ago) link
I laughed, darragh
― hot sauce delivery device (mh), Friday, 13 July 2012 17:53 (eleven years ago) link
ty, ty
― i read like cookie monster eats (darraghmac), Friday, 13 July 2012 18:27 (eleven years ago) link
lolled here
― ¥╡*ٍ*╞¥ (sic), Saturday, 14 July 2012 01:17 (eleven years ago) link
18, it was horrible, a few nights before she'd shouted at me in the SU for not having sex with her. I also did drugs for the first time the day after. What a weekend.
― Blue Collar Retail Assistant (Dwight Yorke), Saturday, 14 July 2012 18:16 (eleven years ago) link
This could easily be x-posted to the "phrases you hate" thread, but it's more on-topic here.....
I've long thought "losing your virginity" to be one of the most revulsion-inducing expressions in the English language. Really, shouldn't one of life's most evocative experiences - making love for your first time ever - be referred to as gaining a new and alluring experience of great poignancy rather than losing something; or worse, having something taken away from you? (as in "Aaron took Jane's virginity last night")? It's just such an awful, sex-negative remnant of Victorian-era attitudes i would've hoped we'd moved forward from long ago. I think it's high time we eradicated "losing one's virginity" from our collective vernacular and replace it with something that invokes discovery, not loss.
― the old thrills are losing their kick, i need stronger & stronger stuff (Lee626), Monday, 16 July 2012 09:31 (eleven years ago) link
lol
― Tartar Mouantcheoux (Noodle Vague), Monday, 16 July 2012 09:33 (eleven years ago) link
Not intended to be funny; it's actually kinda sad. Orwellian even. Newspeak didn't have a word that meant "freedom" so the people couldn't dream up and discuss the concept since there was no word that described it. When the main terminology we have for experiencing sex for the first time is wrapped up in words like "lose" and "take" and "put out", we're robbed of the ability to describe how it really does feel, often enriching rather than feeling as if you're less complete than you were because you're missing something you previously had. When these things are baked into the language, accurate and eloquent thought suffers.
― the old thrills are losing their kick, i need stronger & stronger stuff (Lee626), Monday, 16 July 2012 09:44 (eleven years ago) link
"making love" is a phrase that isn't necessarily sex positive?
― Tartar Mouantcheoux (Noodle Vague), Monday, 16 July 2012 09:48 (eleven years ago) link
It was less clinical than most non-obscene alternatives
― the old thrills are losing their kick, i need stronger & stronger stuff (Lee626), Monday, 16 July 2012 09:52 (eleven years ago) link
― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Monday, 16 July 2012 10:15 (eleven years ago) link
I agree w your broader point but yeah "making love" doesn't work in there for several reasons. "Fucking" would because I can do that w/somebody I love or not & it's still an awesome experience. Which is the better part of your broader point, that fucking is awesome and doing it for the first time isn't a loss of anything any more than me eating a sandwich for the first time is a loss. But then people do talk about "losing their (non-sexual experience) virginity" - this is just more xian hangover I think with a whopping side-order of Blake & Wordsworth
― tallarico dreams (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Monday, 16 July 2012 12:01 (eleven years ago) link
whipping, shurely
― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Monday, 16 July 2012 12:07 (eleven years ago) link
Losing one's virginity is better suited to describing "the first time I ate papaya salad" or "the first time I listened to Siouxsie"
― Ówen P., Monday, 16 July 2012 12:14 (eleven years ago) link
At what age did you gain your non-virginity?
― pplains, Monday, 16 July 2012 14:04 (eleven years ago) link
p sure there was a kid in india born without one, tho iirc they found a donor p quickly by targetting d&d forums
― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Monday, 16 July 2012 14:49 (eleven years ago) link
I think the word Leeeee is looking for is "jamming" or "rocking out"
well, now I'm turned off of sex forever
― hot sauce delivery device (mh), Monday, 16 July 2012 14:51 (eleven years ago) link
― Tartar Mouantcheoux (Noodle Vague), Monday, July 16, 2012 9:33 AM (11 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― EDB, Monday, 16 July 2012 21:23 (eleven years ago) link
Yeah, I kind of cringe at "losing ones virginity". It's sounds careless whereas I was actively pursuing the state of non-virginity when I finally got lucky.
― Et tant pis pour Byzance puisque que j´ai vu Pigalle (Michael White), Monday, 16 July 2012 21:27 (eleven years ago) link
i'll bet this phrase is better in finnish
― mookieproof, Monday, 16 July 2012 21:28 (eleven years ago) link
Hei me Tehdään non Vïrrgnitus!
― pplains, Monday, 16 July 2012 21:37 (eleven years ago) link
i gained my blessing at 27, proper adult virgin. was alright, nice but weird. unfortunately, i let it spin out into a difficult five-year relationship, which i probably wouldn't have charged into if i hadn't waited so long.
― contenderizer, Tuesday, 17 July 2012 06:35 (eleven years ago) link
ten mins to lose yr virginity, the next five years arguing about the details?
― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Tuesday, 17 July 2012 06:43 (eleven years ago) link
haha, i had the same thought.
― estela, Tuesday, 17 July 2012 06:54 (eleven years ago) link
poll is in the wrong tense
― buzza, Tuesday, 17 July 2012 07:10 (eleven years ago) link
xxp lol yeah
occurs to me that "lose your virginity" isn't necessarily so victorian prudish in contemporary use. to my mind, it suggests the deliberate abandonment of childish naivete and restriction. people say "i finally lost my virginity," like it was an awful burden to begin with.
― contenderizer, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 00:23 (eleven years ago) link
tbh, kind of is. all those misconceptions of sex society foists on you, unburdened
― hot sauce delivery device (mh), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 00:25 (eleven years ago) link
as lonng as it's only misconception
― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 00:28 (eleven years ago) link
time to make a quick withdrawal from this convo
― hot sauce delivery device (mh), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 00:34 (eleven years ago) link
seriously, avoid missusconception at all costs
― sarahell, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 00:35 (eleven years ago) link
I was 20 or 21(I know the year but I don't remember what part of the year it was), which felt terribly old at the time but doesn't sound as bad to me now. It was awful, fwiw. The girl kept biting my lip way too hard and being weirdly aggressive.
― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 00:40 (eleven years ago) link
pullout method isn't reliable
― contenderizer, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 00:46 (eleven years ago) link
still counts, dad
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 00:54 (eleven years ago) link
but an essential part of the experience will be missing, because you'll be having it with someone who doesn't really want you
If you're having casual sex, you're doing it to have sex and not feel deep love and romantic feelings and the like? And presumably the other person does want you (to have casual sex with them). Saying that you're missing something _essential_ misses the point that it's _casual sex_.
― mh, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:30 (nine years ago) link
but jrn's saying that "essential part" is missing in sex with a prostitute, not (necessarily) in casual sex
― Merdeyeux, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:38 (nine years ago) link
sex is just a body thing when you get down to it. something that just happens on a different level than things like acceptance, love, or any of that shit. we add all those different layers to it because that's what we do. is there any great meaning behind whether someone's body wants to fuck you? if you imagine you're a sex god i guess i could see that as important. or have some great need to be accepted unconditionally by every person you want to screw.
i've had casual sex where i didn't give a crap about the other person, and vice versa. it's just fun with someone else. then you part ways. costs about $6 in beer. it all depends on what you want and feel comfortable with, but there's nothing great or special about what sex is. it's just our bodies doing their thing.
― Spectrum, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:44 (nine years ago) link
and there's the other end of the continuum
― mh, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:50 (nine years ago) link
i wouldn't see a prostitute, personally, but i don't think there's anything wrong with that. my taste is that the other person having fun is part of me having fun. has to be mutual. but it doesn't make you a shit person if you really want to get off and you see someone who can help you with that for money. might even be good for you as long as you're safe about it.
― Spectrum, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:53 (nine years ago) link
Several years back I knew a woman who *loved* having sex with first-timers, especially older ones, guys who were shy, uncomfortable talking with women, or clueless about how to initiate a relationship, but were generally nice guys. She would all but offer herself up to anyone she knew to be a virgin as long as they were nice to her and not repulsive. When I asked her why, she said these men always treated her so well and made her feel important, because she was important to them. She was also amazed at how good they were in bed, perhaps because they'd spent so long just thinking about sex, asking their friends about it, or reading up on it.
I wonder how common this is.
― Lee626, Friday, 1 August 2014 13:10 (nine years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah7VxQHs-gI
― StanM, Friday, 1 August 2014 14:33 (nine years ago) link