The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power series

what is SITO

"sorry if this offends"

sauron the hobbit has it written inside his teeny-weeny little ring

https://i.imgur.com/oP9Yqaf.png

Didn’t really understand the promise referred to between Elrond and Galadriel. What was that about?

i thought it was referencing elrond’s promise to trust her

evil blue-wizard-threesome

For the moment I saw them I saw their clear filmic inspiration:

http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/7621/580/320/892870/superman2.jpg

Trust her about what? Something specific or in general? Sorry I don’t remember it seems like so many apples and snails ago.

trust her to KICK ASS

iirc when she asked him to promise to trust her it was just in general sense but when she reminds him of his promise it was in regards to “i know you just fished me out of the river and i won’t explain how i got there but anyway, don’t trust halbrand, and don’t ask me to explain why because y’all already think i’m too paranoid about sauron so it’ll be really awkward to talk about the fact that i saved him”

i think that’s how it was anyway, don’t make me watch it again pls

"trust me when i say it's time to fuck sauron"

Living in Numenor in this show would be like being trapped in an Alma-Tadema painting forever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIIU2JvoMX4

sorry about spoilers, but durin's secret name is....

Timmy

the trick to winning over a horse is to speak very clear english directly into its eyeballs

https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.ae55f6d71ce774237fc4905f6c846100?rik=eYLqq%2fFRaiesVA&riu=http%3a%2f%2fimages.memes.com%2fmeme%2f693715&ehk=QtilqIzMMaUubrxeszRaMr0Xp9xlJgs6NEdpUsqb3YY%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0

• = also the smouldering sexual tension between galadriel and [redacted but we knew it was sauron] is objectively funny, again SITO but it is

What we think is his helm is actually his hair, he's always greasing it down just before Galadriel appears - that's why he disappears so quickly when she's in the forge.

I don't hate the idea that "all will love me and despair" isn't the first time she's been tempted with world-ruling power, I hope that this isn't "and then she wasn't a fascist any more" - if there's 4 more seasons then they'll probably have a few more set-pieces.

"They stripped down naked, as was custom for duels among hobbits, and prepared to fight. The battle was fierce, but eventually Bilbo emerged victorious after landing a lucky punch on Frodo's nose. He celebrated his victory by eating the last piece of cake himself while poor Frodo looked on in defeat."

A billion dollars and you still can't make it look like Galadriel and dudeface are actually on the sea.

It was all fine, but at every point I wished I was watching The Two Towers instead.

A billion dollars also doesn’t buy convincing day for night filming.

I wonder if someone told the creators that people liked the Morrrrrrdor pronunciation and asked if we could have more of that.

About that.

Many BrE speakers are pretty non-rhotic. Of course Morfydd Clark is Welsh and has deep access to some of the linguistic roots, but it is... sometimes offputting.

The trilled "r" is, I think, technically a voiced alveolar consonant. To American ears it sounds basically like a "d."

The other actors try to get there too, with varying results. It comes out most strongly in the proper nouns: Morrrdorrr, Numenorrr, Saurrron, Morrrgoth.

But I idly wonder if she has to talk like that all the time. "Hey Morrrgan, would you like to go to Starrrbucks?" "Can you please pass the sugarrr? I need it for my yoghurrrt."

I have a private theory that one of the reasons Galadrrriel and Elrrrond can't be together is that they would simply get exhausted saying one another's names.

sometimes offputting? it's the elvish way

I have a private theory that one of the reasons Galadrrriel and Elrrrond can't be together is that they would simply get exhausted saying one another's names.

Eh, what else have they got to do with all that long life?

Someone upthread (or maybe somewhere else) lamented the fact that you don't really get any sense from this show of the long lives of elves, but I suppose when it's all done and you can watch all eight-six hours of content in chronological order, you'll get some insight into just how boring it must be to be an elf.

they suck!

So much soft, draping fabric. Ugh.

10% Beautiful CGI vistas
5% OTT special effects
5% Atrocious accents
20% A main character hatches a brilliant plan to save civilisation but for no apparent reason their superior expressly forbids them from carrying it out
10% People looking into the middle distance / each other's eyes / hugging and crying for way too long while uttering eye-glazingly sentimental platitudes about "never giving up the fight" or something
5% Morfydd Clark being totes adorbs
10% the character you thought was one person turns out to be someone else - GOTCHA!
5% they haven't worked out how to not make the dwarves look ridiculous all the time even when they're trying to be sincere
10% God this is a long episode innit?
10% Commoners are unequivocally a mindless mass of sheep-like simpletons who all stand around being clueless until they're told what to do by one of the main characters
10% that's not how ships work

i'm into some of those percentages but i feel very alienated by the one thing that seems to unite everyone about this show, which is "well at least the CGI is great"

man, i hate this CGI shit

yeah, huillet-straub that shit

im probably not even joking, new zealand is pretty

Also seems like they spent a shit ton of money building these elaborate sets but it just looks like they're wandering round Disneyland half the time xp

When I say "beautiful cgi vistas", I mean, they're beautiful in the way Limgrave or Leyndell are beautiful in Elden Ring, but that there's a video game and this isn't

this thing has felt so much like a video game for the whole series... hackneyed dialog, fetch quests, keys that unlock cut scenes. the whole thing feels so much like it was written by people who grew up playing bioware crpgs

like, meteor guy with amnesia is a direct rip of Diablo III

OTM. A special key that fucks the place up because, hey, orcs like it when the place is a shithole.

Also how they knew there'd be a whole army of elves and humans right there at that time.

Also that somebody clearly spent forever engineering this whole mad thing to create Mordor and then lost the key. Why? Why so elaborate? Maybe it's all explained in the Silmarillion which I haven't read, but that's mad convoluted.

And how does each episode seem to drag on so long with filler while whole plot points seem glossed over really quickly and badly. I don't know if my attention wandered at one point but I missed the whole "Who Sauron really is" reveal - it just seemed to be explained really fast and "Yeah this person is Sauron now because that's what we've decided"...

they played spin the bottle and it stopped on Halbrand who now has to spend seven minutes in Mordor with Adar

obvious point but dnd and videogames in general are heavily, heavily, almost more than anything else in the world influenced by lord of the rings

It also regularly expects you to care about certain characters and their relationships to each other without putting any work into their development.

From the first episode it telegraphs that there's some kind of deep connection between Arondir and Bronwyn. It is trying desperately to do a Mulder & Scully-style "will they, won't they" scenario. But the characters are so stone-faced and are introduced to each other in such a way that I couldn't give a monkeys.

As for Nori saying goodbye to her family for what felt like 20 minutes, good god. And good riddance too. What a bunch of obnoxiously-written characters, devoid of any of the heartwarming charm the writers were so desperately trying to inject into them. It's like Bran and his boring mates all over again, with worse accents and sentimental sayings.

The first few series of Game of Thrones worked because the characters were fun and smart and relatable, and didn't talk in fluffy faux-archaic aphorisms.

The first couple of Lord of the Rings film worked because the pacing worked and drew you in to the characters' worlds. Sam and Frodo's relationship was so much more believable than Nori and Poppy's, and I'm not sure why because that was hammy as anything.

xp to Karl, hence we end up with this, an imitation of an imitation that doesn't take inspo from the same places the original did (Finnish mythology, Beowulf, etc). The further we get from the source, the further we get from what made it special.

Also, I'm not sure that the First and Second Age stories necessarily lend themselves well to the format of a serialized TV show--part of the appeal of those stories comes from the sheer mythic distance they have from the protagonists of LotR (the mortal ones, anyway)

they haven't worked out how to not make the dwarves look ridiculous all the time even when they're trying to be sincere

Durin: "Give me the meat, and give it to me raw!"

Elrond: (looks shyly off into the distance)

That is some primo slashfic bait right there, itellyouwhut

I mean

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Wd09hi2Pug

The scope of this feels less than grand. I’m thinking about it in comparison to the sweeping vistas of the landscape as seen in the trilogy films, these massive mountain ranges and endless expanses of rocky terrain thru which the characters journeyed, giving the feel of a place which really did extend as far as the eye could see. And even to someone whose knowledge of the middleearth map goes as far as”start in the shire, there’s some woods and some mountains, and then Sauron is thataway” I understood the geography and where everyone was very easily. I still have zero idea where anything is supposed to be taking place on this show, except the southlands mordor. Even with the occasional map reminders.

Character wise Frodo and Sam were twee bastards but they were pretty measured and sharp and thoughtful. Unfortunately on this show Nori is like a cross between the most error-prone Hobbit (Pippin) and a member of the Manson family.

Also that somebody clearly spent forever engineering this whole mad thing to create Mordor and then lost the key. Why? Why so elaborate? Maybe it's all explained in the Silmarillion which I haven't read, but that's mad convoluted.

All of the sword-key thing, and the tunneling and activating Mt Doom and everything, is strictly an invention of the show. And I hate it.

The scope of this feels less than grand.

Almost everything Celebrimbor-focused feels like it's in a studio in particular. It's REALLY obvious.

Ned, is there anything in Tolkien lore that does explain the origin of Mordor? Google is my friend I know but…

Amazing how Andor was made for a fraction of the cost and they have these lush gorgeous real-world locations that feel infinitely more lived-in.

Hobbit music clearly got better over time, the nursery rhymes of the Harfoots are basically Barney songs. Couldn’t believe there was a lyric including “all who wander are not lost.” People used to be raised steeped in literature, not drowning in early era Facebook macros.

this was all very bad but i'll watch next season because hating on it is so fun.

I feel you here, ian.

Ned, is there anything in Tolkien lore that does explain the origin of Mordor?

Not specifically. The closest it gets is in the two pieces towards the end of the Silmarillion going over the Second and Third Ages -- it talks about how he hides himself away in Middle-earth after the fall of Morgoth and his eventual fortification of Mordor, building Barad-dur, occasionally causing eruptions of Mt. Doom, etc. Nothing about how he decided to go there or why, and certainly nothing dumb about a sigil as a map etc. There's room there for elaborations and additions to this bare outline if you like and the showrunners certainly chose a route (the area around the Sea of Nurnen in the southeast of Mordor is said to be fertile and food and supplies are grown/raised there for his armies by slaves, so there's room for talking about at least some of that area being as green/lush as we see in the story) but they chose a very DUMB route.

Amazing how Andor was made for a fraction of the cost and they have these lush gorgeous real-world locations that feel infinitely more lived-in.

Oh, this truth.

Hobbit music clearly got better over time, the nursery rhymes of the Harfoots are basically Barney songs. Couldn’t believe there was a lyric including “all who wander are not lost.” People used to be raised steeped in literature, not drowning in early era Facebook macros.

TOO true.

I'm not sure that the First and Second Age stories necessarily lend themselves well to the format of a serialized TV show--part of the appeal of those stories comes from the sheer mythic distance they have from the protagonists of LotR (the mortal ones, anyway)

Tolkien himself knew this to a strong degree; his earlier work on the Silmarillion had been regularly rejected by publishers, even after the initial success of The Hobbit, and in a later letter he told his correspondent that those background tales would for most readers likely have too much "high style" in comparison to the more explicitly down to earth perspectives and writing focused/seen through the hobbits. He was absolutely right! There's a reason they're not anywhere near as deeply read as Hobbit/LOTR.

Despite myself I quite like Arondir and Bronwyn but that’s probably because I am shallow and they’re both quite pretty.

xpost definitely — i have tried to dig into even just the appendices & i have such a hard time retaining any of it, it’s just not an enjoyable read for me compared to the novels. He’s a beautiful writer but the specificity is just too much for my small brain, i never had much recall but now that i am middleaged, yeesh nope sorry