thread for KING CHARLES III (regnal name george vii)

Charles has just hired Pipe Major Paul Burns, who played the bagpipes at Queen Elizabeth's funeral, to be his personal piper, and play for him every morning. Ostensibly, Burns is the King's human alarm clock

I would rather clean razor sharp swarf off dirty dangerous machines with an oily rag for a penny a day than be a fucking "human alarm clock" for one of these freaks!

KING CHARLES GET PIPED DOWN EVERY MORNING

keeping it real

The temptation for Major Paul Burns to install a recording of himself piping and slack off each morning must be considerable, one might think.

does hes just come into his room and starting playing right in his ear or what sounds horrible, maybe if he started far away tho and got slowly closer

yeah hopefully it's the reverse of the piper they got for my grandmother's funeral who got further and further away when we were at the cemetary

reminds me of my favorite joke

q: why do bagpipe players walk while they play?

a: to get away from the sound

lol

I should like to be piped in

yo chuck, they must be on the pipes right?

Who says these fucks are out of touch

A well aimed punch from Chuck = snooze button.

I hope he wakes him with this every morning...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vNENUEK0W0

Truss: “Your Majesty… Lovely to see you again.”

King: “Back again. Dear oh dear. Anyway…”

This is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. 😂😂pic.twitter.com/ENP8pPl9kO

— Brendan May (@bmay) October 12, 2022

... is he going to die tomorrow?

An open secret of a type that is depressingly common in Britain, here pic.twitter.com/Co55C3Qy6Q

— Flying_Rodent (@flying_rodent) October 16, 2022

i got into a minor wikipedia edit war last year over whether another of chuck's mentors laurens van der post raped a girl (he did, which the article now acknowledges).

Doesn't the King's "back again" basically mean "oh, dear, we're meeting again for the first time since the difficult and awkward times after the death of my mother" ?

that's not how it's being interpreted

he means *turns impossibly ancient and woebegone face to viewers* thanks i hate it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWotptfPnBU

So are we saying 'speaking the King's English' now instead of the Queen's English or what?

Out on the king's highway we are.

well we would be if she'd died but

Surely someone has a "why isn't it King's College Belfast now" take

Doubt he'll get to his own coronation at this rate.

Who was Prime Minister when King Charles III ascended to the throne is going to be a really hard pub quiz question in about 20 years

— Joanna Taylor (@JoannaRTaylor) October 20, 2022

got him

Video posted on social media showed two activists from Britain's Just Stop Oil group covering a waxwork model of King Charles III with cake at Madame Tussauds London pic.twitter.com/SBXEOihrOR

— Reuters (@Reuters) October 24, 2022

The moment eggs were thrown at the royal party as King Charles arrived in #york today. Video from Henry TB pic.twitter.com/OuGMpDlJdC

— DavidDunninguk (@daviddunninguk) November 9, 2022

some very disappointing egg throwing skills here, ffs aim for the parasite's head. hilarious replies: "this is treason" ha ha!

good to see the mayor in the apu-takes-a-bullet role

has the royal egg boiler guy finally lost his patience with him?

I just saw a long ITV news item about King Charles on an official visit to Luton.

Visiting a Sikh kitchen he remarked of the dough: "It's wonderful how it rises". The presenter repeated that he had said: "It's wonderful how it rises".

I'd say it must be a slow news day if we still had those.

tbf bread rising is technically wonderful

King Charles dies in a tragic sourdough accident.

It was the best of times, it was the yeast of times

Think he got egged again yesterday

https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/homemade-egg-bread/

that's not eggy bread

Read that as Eggy Beard - who as we all know was violinist with Scotland's greatest rock group, Chou Pahrot.

https://i.imgur.com/RylK6hs.jpg

ha! what an awesome photo. kelvinrove bandstand?

Yes.

lots of folded-arms guys in that crowd

First look at new King Charles banknotes https://t.co/Wvenu63JF2

— ITV News (@itvnews) December 20, 2022

added a few inches to his "see-through" hairline

The Bank of England have found a cure for male pattern baldness.

no more follicle declines, an end to recession!

Merry Wokemass guys 😡 pic.twitter.com/tbJhnKq6ge

— The Good Christian Benjamin Hair ✝️🙏 (@Viral_Ben) December 22, 2022

Wow, I forgot about this guy.

🚨 | BREAKING: General Llywelyn Fortwilliam has cast doubt over Prince Harry's claim to have killed 25 Taliban fighters.

"By my count it was 24. One insurgent was mangled and paralysed from the neck down but he could still have triggered an IED if he'd bitten down hard on it." pic.twitter.com/brHbdS3aVz

— BAZAKE (@BazakeMedia) January 6, 2023

I'm not sure if this is as funny as I found it this morning!

It's bonkers how the military and others are saying "Prince Harry mentioning killing people is making other soldiers from that war a target".

They were a target during the war. They could be a target now if the Taliban, terrorists, or whoever wants to target them, for having fought in Afghanistan - never mind anything that Prince Harry says. It's not as if it was a secret that UK soldiers killed Afghans during the Afghan war.

if anything you'd be quite fair to suspect that the soldiers that served with him could have been closer to a branch of Spar than any Taliban. More like an executive babysitting platoon than Taliban hunters.