queen elizabeth II

looks legit

120 ppl die every minute if that helps

= entire UK population dead in a year. Make the most of it!

ffs they still had a minute's applause at the start of Scotland v Ukraine game, how long is this shite going to go on? For those unfamiliar with the concept, a minute's applause is the fallback when the authorities aren't confident a minute's silence is going to be observed, and indeed the applause just about drowned out the boos.

this proves that people that show up for international games are at least 60% more likely to be melts

some scientists did an ant tally and estimated that there was 20 quadrillion of the bitey little radge fuckers on this planet. The international ant community only go into a state of mourning if more than a billion of them die in one day, probably.

There's a scientific theory that ant nests are ruled not by their queens, but rather by sizeable fungal growths at their base that release behaviour-altering spores. That fungus? Rupert Murdoch. The spores? Take your pick.
Still working on this one tbh.

So funny to me that when Diana died there were those amazing couple of days where it felt like the royal family itself was in danger of getting booted out, but this time around it's Phillip Schofield in danger of not presenting This Morning

— Europe's Leading Soccer Futurologist (@TreborRhurbarb) September 21, 2022

Monarchy WTF notwithstanding, that Emma pony was damn cute.

*crying at statisticians* give me the truth!!

Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral was watched by 27M people in the UK alone.

In contrast, Princess Diana’s funeral was watched by 32.1M in 1997. pic.twitter.com/BspIPoa0ue

— Pop Tingz (@ThePopTingz) September 21, 2022

a real funeral with a whodunnit twist will always be more popular with the viewers than a fake funeral with an empty coffin :p

Should Queen Elizabeth II be made a saint?

✍️ Charles Moorehttps://t.co/SiyJ8s1EET

— The Spectator (@spectator) September 22, 2022

jesus effing christ!

Isn't that a Catholic thing?

yeah pretty sure she wasn't a catholic

A strange combination of will-this-do space filler and High Tory brainrot... yes folks, it's Charles Moore Time again!

The Palace apparently sent TV stations all over the world a list of short sections of the funeral service that are banned from now on.

But since this is the internet and there's something called the Streisand Effect, here they are:

« Le Palais » a demandé aux rédactions de censurer certaines images des obsèques de la reine lors des rediffusions. Oui, car c’est TRÈS choquant 🚫#Quotidien pic.twitter.com/trFyWZe5pb

— Quotidien (@Qofficiel) September 20, 2022

For a brief delirious moment I thought they'd turned it into a game show.

quora: "… there has never been a non-Catholic who has been canonized. But canonization does not 'make' a saint. It only recognizes a saint. God makes saints."

^^^

God, the unelected ruler of christianity

could charles canonise his mum? he has his own "catholic and reformed" church now. pretty sure there are at least a few anglican saints but idk what the process is

I could be wrong but seems the anglican saints are basically the old catholic ones and then there are a bunch of "heroes"? maybe she could be a heroine?

what a weird fucked up compromise of a church this is

Anglicanism is weird.

it's almost as if the main cause of it's inception wasn't theological

Theresa May's dad was one of them Anglo-Catholic freaks which might explain a lot. I once worked on the Anglican Monastery were he trained. The monks there were absolutely loaded and much freakier than any priests I've ever met, and that is saying something.

non angli sed angeli

My friend is one of the lay staff of St Paul’s Cathedral and she goes to Mirfield every year for what she calls ‘an STFU retreat’ - she is very High Church.

she goes to the Community of the Resurrection? it's a beautiful building and they spent a fortune on the refurb. The granite fonts they had installed must have cost a small fortune, looked pretty cool though.

I’m sure that’s the place but I’ve never heard it called anything but ‘Mirfield’.

I’m sure that’s the place but I’ve never heard it called anything but ‘Mirfield’.

sorry for being so late to this and for bringing something so stupid pic.twitter.com/CHWAoRKDcL

— ☠️ HAPPY ☠️ (@happyroadkill) September 29, 2022

QEII died of old age: https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/sep/29/queen-elizabeth-died-of-old-age-death-certificate-says

Nobody dies of 'old age', though. No commoner ever has that on their death certificate. My father who died at the age of 83 had about four different things. Even in death, QE2 ends up hiding stuff from those of us who were her subjects, even though the thing that is being hidden is probably completely innocuous, like heart failure or whatever.

And in a way it could really backfire, as now, out will come the conspiracy theorists - "She was murdered!" "She's still alive!" She really is a 9ft lizard!" Take your pick.

Meanwhile, the world's only reigning queen (there are, of course, quite a few consorts) Denmark's Queen Margrethe II, has announced she is stripping four of her grandkids of the title Prince or Princess. It's not all smelling of roses in Scandi-land right now, with several governments lurching to the right in this mainstay of social democracy, most notably Sweden. But clearly, it's not all rotten in the state of Denmark, as the monarchy there demonstrates (once again, for those paying attention) that it is possible to keep a monarchy and do it in a better way than the UK.

the pick i take is that she's still alive (bcz she is)

it isn't a conspiracy theory if it's true

Denmark's Queen Margrethe II, has announced she is stripping four of her grandkids of the title Prince or Princess.

as the monarchy there demonstrates (once again, for those paying attention) that it is possible to keep a monarchy and do it in a better way than the UK.

I mean, by slowly abolishing itself, sure, I guess?

also:

post-Shipman, coroners started telling doctors not to use 'old age' as cause of death and be a little more specific. https://t.co/oMLkIXNZF8

— jamie k (@jkbloodtreasure) September 29, 2022

so it's like when her hat was the EU flag, it's all signals to those who know

capriqueen one

I mean, by slowly abolishing itself, sure, I guess?

Wait, it's not that drastic. They are all kids of the youngest child. The son and heir, Crown Prince Frederik, and his four children, Christian (born 15 October 2005), Isabella (born 21 April 2007) and twins Vincent and Josephine (born 8 January 2011), are unaffected by the change.

It contrasts with here, when even when one prince is a philanderer and paedophile and another says he doesn't want to do the duties anymore, goes to his wife's country "in search of privacy" and yet we hear more about him and his missus than ever before, *they* don't get stripped of their titles. Possibly Chuck will revisit this, I mean, why shouldn't they be Mr Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and Mr Harry Mountbatten-Windsor, respectively? What's he got to lose by doing that? But I have heard no rumours to that effect.

Nobody dies of 'old age', though.

Could be a Scottish thing. My mother's death certificate said frailty and old age, iirc.

... not that she was as old as QEII!

Guardian link has this:

Old age is acceptable if the doctor certifying death has cared for the patient for a long time, was not aware of any disease or injury that contributed to death and had observed a gradual decline in the person’s general health and functioning.

they can only put human illnesses on death certificates afaik

"failed the ultimate test" as defined by Dr Richard Pryor. I suppose putting common illnesses on the death certificate wasn't considered appropriate for a monarch.

not dead and still ‘backing’ the monarchy:

https://offloadmedia.feverup.com/secretmanchester.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/30134113/ezgif.com-gif-maker.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/NVqlaYN.png

Wait, £5?

I'm glad I don't go in pubs anymore and don't play the old fruit machines!

https://i.ibb.co/WDwZyXy/Screenshot-2022-10-12-at-09-22-56.png

The Sun says that Prince Andrew is funding some of the $12 million plot to overturn his settlement with Virginia Giuffre through his inheritance from his mother. https://t.co/gvlZnF0Wgq

— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast) January 23, 2023

this is what happens when you let the bastards keep their heads

liz phair doesn't give a fuck about colonialism but has anyone asked her what she thinks of her girlboss icon funding sex crimes in life and in death?

Can’t we just have one lonely reporter on the Liz Phair beat?