get his dna, clone him, set up permanent dunk tank, PROFIT
― DPRK in Cincinnati (WmC), Thursday, 15 September 2022 18:49 (one year ago) link
good for her
― mh, Friday, 16 September 2022 03:17 (one year ago) link
it make a pinch
Tesla is recalling nearly 1.1 million vehicles in the U.S. because the windows can pinch a person's fingers when being rolled up. https://t.co/PBT06Hrh6Q— The Associated Press (@AP) September 22, 2022
― lag∞n, Thursday, 22 September 2022 12:56 (one year ago) link
haven't worked out the kinks in the self-rolling windows
― i need to put some clouds behind the reaper (PBKR), Thursday, 22 September 2022 13:22 (one year ago) link
I'm sure it's fine
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Thursday, 22 September 2022 13:23 (one year ago) link
lmao
This is the third time my Tesla is getting recalled in just the last year. Getting sick of this shit. I'm sorry @Tesla your cars are amazing but this is not acceptable. If this happens 3 more times I will have to consider trading it in for a different Tesla model— Wild Geerters (@steinkobbe) September 22, 2022
― frogbs, Thursday, 22 September 2022 13:28 (one year ago) link
this is your fourth-to-last chance tesla
― rob, Thursday, 22 September 2022 13:29 (one year ago) link
Is the pinch really more of a priority than the exploding thing? I’m not a driver so maybe one of you can explain idk
― barry sito (gyac), Thursday, 22 September 2022 13:33 (one year ago) link
Surprised Musk didn't make them add a cartoon noise when your finger gets caught in the window. "Booiiiiinnnng!" or whatever.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 22 September 2022 13:38 (one year ago) link
Seems to suggest that at least one person has actually had their fingers cut off.
― link.exposing.politically (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 22 September 2022 13:43 (one year ago) link
― barry sito (gyac), Thursday, September 22, 2022 9:33 AM (sixteen minutes ago)
everyone who buys tesla does so to satisfy the death drive, mere pinches don't go far enough, is how I break it down
― rob, Thursday, 22 September 2022 13:50 (one year ago) link
Maybe the windows of other cars just don't pinch enough.
― i need to put some clouds behind the reaper (PBKR), Thursday, 22 September 2022 13:58 (one year ago) link
been seeing articles about techbros that "want to grow inches" and it's naturally going to take some pinches
― put their faith in a god-fearing man selling them tiny homes (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 22 September 2022 14:41 (one year ago) link
Lol what pic.twitter.com/ARiJIZty0i— Carboniferous Rainforest Collapse Party (@weathergoose1) September 23, 2022
― lag∞n, Friday, 23 September 2022 15:22 (one year ago) link
Thought car windows had been figured out long ago, but I guess we gotta disrupt everything nowadays
― Vinnie, Friday, 23 September 2022 15:48 (one year ago) link
this man loves to lie
Cybertruck will be waterproof enough to serve briefly as a boat, so it can cross rivers, lakes & even seas that aren’t too choppy— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) September 29, 2022
― lag∞n, Thursday, 29 September 2022 17:30 (one year ago) link
love that "briefly" followed a few words later by it crossing "seas"
― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Thursday, 29 September 2022 17:34 (one year ago) link
All cars can serve briefly as boats. Very briefly.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 29 September 2022 17:34 (one year ago) link
!! pic.twitter.com/y6QX5JyAds— Udit Kumar (@itzme_udit) September 29, 2022
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 29 September 2022 17:36 (one year ago) link
*dies at sea in a car*
tesla boys: that sea was too choppy
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 29 September 2022 17:43 (one year ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/A2BLNdW.png
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 29 September 2022 17:47 (one year ago) link
you make fun of him but this seems like a brilliant solution to the "car keeps lighting on fire" problem
― frogbs, Thursday, 29 September 2022 17:52 (one year ago) link
Cybertruck will be waterproof enough to serve briefly as a boat, and also fireproof, if it serves briefly as a boat.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 29 September 2022 17:55 (one year ago) link
announcing the new CyberTorus
https://i.imgur.com/D29CydT.png
it can bounce along most rivers and water passageways and holds 2 insecure barfing passengers
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 29 September 2022 18:00 (one year ago) link
What is there to protect your ass from rocks?
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 29 September 2022 18:02 (one year ago) link
the idea is that what the torus shape lacks in specificity of function, it overcomes in adaptability and resilience.
https://i.imgur.com/DXLhmyI.png
this group of barges is in a severe river traffic jam. months of FTEs will be wasted on this single problem during intense meetings and intrafleet negotiations.
meanwhile, the tori float on in an unstoppable horde, bouncing off of the bureaucratic red tape and winning the industrial race together
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 29 September 2022 18:07 (one year ago) link
xp josh according to leaked concept footage, the passengers ride inside of the cybertorus. for safety, there are no windows so you can't see them from outside. but they're in there, two of them in each, strapped in.
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 29 September 2022 18:08 (one year ago) link
Ah, that makes sense. I initially confused them for Innertubes (TM).
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 29 September 2022 18:43 (one year ago) link
https://assets.simpleviewinc.com/simpleview/image/fetch/c_fill,h_712,q_75,w_1024/https://assets.simpleviewinc.com/simpleview/image/upload/crm/houston/Woodlands-Lazy-River_3c037f76-eea5-93db-24e77d1b3dcc2c5d.jpgArtist's conception, Innertube Hyperloop
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 29 September 2022 18:54 (one year ago) link
an innertube commuting corridor is not actually a terrible idea. luckily climate change will make it inevitable
― rob, Thursday, 29 September 2022 19:03 (one year ago) link
Ford just announced the CyberTaurus
― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 29 September 2022 19:08 (one year ago) link
Our derelict vessel crews are begging you to understand that anything that “serves briefly as a boat” should not be used as a boat https://t.co/lcrunbf1DJ pic.twitter.com/j2eL5tGcJZ— Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources (@waDNR) September 29, 2022
lol
― o. nate, Friday, 30 September 2022 16:50 (one year ago) link
when we stop economy-crippling regulatory agencies from fucking with our freedoms we can have truck boats, libs.
― i'm intentionally vague, intending to front multitudes (Hunt3r), Friday, 30 September 2022 18:20 (one year ago) link
sorry ass shit
who shows up in Musk's texts is interesting (right wingers, reactionaries, tech & media billionaires, etc.). their eagerness to get in on a deal that would generate money & influence makes sense. but it was surprising seeing so many of them grovelhttps://t.co/zAHMhE9J5P— Edward Ongweso Jr (@bigblackjacobin) September 30, 2022
― lag∞n, Friday, 30 September 2022 19:03 (one year ago) link
pretty funny that a couple dudes who always sound like little worms actually are little worms
― mh, Friday, 30 September 2022 19:11 (one year ago) link
living that worm life
― lag∞n, Friday, 30 September 2022 19:14 (one year ago) link
that Calac4nis dude, damn
― mh, Friday, 30 September 2022 19:20 (one year ago) link
lol, the sloppy copy editing of this Vice piece means that that dude's name is spelled like 3 different ways throughout the article, too.
― Judi Dench's Human Hand (methanietanner), Friday, 30 September 2022 19:23 (one year ago) link
You have my sword
― circa1916, Friday, 30 September 2022 19:46 (one year ago) link
The body language of the actual Tesla team while Musk makes astronomical promises will never not be funny. https://t.co/WaRuC5tr7U— Justin Pierce (@justinpie) September 29, 2022
― Elvis Telecom, Friday, 30 September 2022 23:24 (one year ago) link
very neat
JUST IN: Tesla, $TSLA officially unveils AI bot 'Optimus' pic.twitter.com/OTyryDdkwQ— Watcher.Guru (@WatcherGuru) October 1, 2022
― lag∞n, Saturday, 1 October 2022 19:11 (one year ago) link
sorry ass shit🐦[who shows up in Musk’s texts is interesting (right wingers, reactionaries, tech & media billionaires, etc.). their eagerness to get in on a deal that would generate money & influence makes sense. but it was surprising seeing so many of them grovelhttps://t.co/zAHMhE9J5P🕸— Edward Ongweso Jr (@bigblackjacobin) September 30, 2022🕸]🐦
― barry sito (gyac), Saturday, 1 October 2022 20:10 (one year ago) link
In some ways, Musk could not have chosen a better name for his company. How long before they announce a "Peace Ray"?
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Saturday, 1 October 2022 20:12 (one year ago) link
Really despise Jack Dorsey as ever, always great to see evidence he’s a fucking idiot. That text about how freedom of speech on Twitter is important to humanity - k.
― barry sito (gyac), Saturday, 1 October 2022 20:18 (one year ago) link
Just another douchebag techbro.
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Saturday, 1 October 2022 20:20 (one year ago) link
people at twitter hate jack more than elon musk. just total contempt.
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Saturday, 1 October 2022 22:22 (one year ago) link
Where's Sarah Connor when you need her?
― i need to put some clouds behind the reaper (PBKR), Saturday, 1 October 2022 22:27 (one year ago) link
Is he unaware that there is already a very famous robot named "Optimus"? This will have to be Optimus Secundus.
― Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Sunday, 2 October 2022 05:13 (one year ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/eGxU1jR.png
― lag∞n, Monday, 3 October 2022 17:17 (one year ago) link
Which @elonmusk do you like more?— Володимир Зеленський (@ZelenskyyUa) October 3, 2022
what is going on
― death generator (lukas), Monday, 3 October 2022 18:46 (one year ago) link