thread for KING CHARLES III (regnal name george vii)

King Charles, died 2022 by literally not being able to breathe for being criticised

I'm curious about how the 2 videos of Charles looking grumpy got released. Leaked by a disgruntled member of staff?

can't have 24-7 adoring rolling coverage if you keep binning the material

also i'm guessing there wasn't a need until now to have a full-time tantrum editor keeping a watchful eye, his mum was a seasoned professional who self-edited like a beast -- while her son is a self-important crank weirdo who thinks he knows everything and badly wants to be as beloved but is also angrily terrified he never will be (clue: he never will be)

i also think there's a strong dose of "at last i can be myself!" -- he's spent like forty years biting his lip to not blurt -- and he's discovering this is not going to play at all well, the uninterrupted performance of low-key naturalness is harder work than it looked! turns out laurens van der post doesn't prepare one!

its true the queen was a real pro she encountered tens of thousands of people in her role and seemingly all of them were like she was gracious she asked me about myself and seemed to actually care credit where its due

throwing multiple public fits about pens in your first week on the job is pretty far on the other end of the spectrum

each finger segment a Fall Guy, racing to drown itself in the inkwell

Is there going to be a separate ten day mourning period to mourn the crowning of Charles

He's already causing trouble with the royalty of other nations

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8b/Conversations_with_Queen.jpg

Reading the Wikipedia page for Diana’s funeral (which I didn’t watch)

Alastair Campbell later revealed in his diaries that the government and the royal household feared for the security of Prince Charles, believing that he would possibly get attacked by the crowd, thus they ensured that he would be accompanied by his sons. Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, initially opposed the idea of William and Harry taking part in the funeral procession, but ultimately decided to walk besides them, telling his grandsons "I'll walk if you walk."William later described the experience as "one of the hardest things I've ever done", and Harry mentioned no child "should be asked to do" what they did. Nevertheless, William saw the act as a necessity to maintain "balance between duty and family" and Harry said that he was "very glad" that he took part in the procession.

In other words everyone knew it was brutally wrong but they did it anyway because of the tampon thing.

Does Charles not bleed? does he not weep at the moonlight? Does his heart not soar when listening to Coldplay? He is one of Us,

What if Charles was one of us

Just a stranger on the bus

nice piece by owen hatherley in jacobin abt how C3's poor understanding of architecture is party shaped by his never once being on a bus (or alone walking round a building or a city unchaperoned)

is the coffin taking visitors so everyone can whisper into the side of the coffin 'i'm glad yer dead'

its true the queen was a real pro she encountered tens of thousands of people in her role and seemingly all of them were like she was gracious she asked me about myself and seemed to actually care credit where its due

I encountered her once in a line-up greet-the-staff at work, made the mistake of speaking before she'd spoken to me; she gave me a look like Medusa, still haunts me.

not captured on the camera tho, there's her skill right there

I was commissioned to write this on Charles and architecture and rather than put the boot in I've tried to work out whatever the hell was actually going on https://t.co/zj40YDcohH

— Owen Hatherley (@owenhatherley) September 14, 2022

good piece by Hatherley, all the stuff about his huge property portfolio in Transylvania and his nightmare model village, Poundbury is new to me.

when i was at crafts magazine our printers was very near poundbury and once when we visited (to see what printers did, i guess a kind of diplomatic gladhand) we were told lots of local stories about how unappealing it is to live in: for exmple that many of the streets were built quite narrow -- to look old fashioned and quaint and possibly also to discourage heavy traffic -- which means the county bin lorries can't navigate them and everyone in the relevant streets has to crossly drag their bins for several blocks to the nearest actual pick-up point

authentically peasant-like except your actual peasants wd've just dumped their rubbish wherever

Pound Town

Poundbury is so weird, an uncanny valley of a town plonked down on the edge of Dorchester like some kind of bulbous egg sac adhered to the corpse of British town planning. Owen Hatherley should run psychogeographic tourist buses there.

Poundbury Doh! Boy

I once worked on the Creswell Model Village. Lots of open space and attractive houses with quite big rooms and high ceilings. CIII is more about building houses out of contempt for the people that live in them.

it is ironic that charles has (supposedly) been fuming his whole life about the indignities imposed on him by mummy (apparently) re not being allowed to be himself and quickly discovering this week that the job is exactly as advertised

tbf he's extremely dim

Heavy is the head

well yeah that too xpost

i love how bad he is at just BEING anywhere, socially or otherwise

kind of wild to think that if this were a couple hundred years ago charles would have been put in charge of an army or two, no questions asked. imagine this dude grimacing as he inspects the formation of your cavalry

“no charles we insist, your regiment should have the honour of leading the charge”

yeah funny system if the current guy isnt good at army your whole shit gets burned down

"into the valley of death rode the 600!"

i think george ii was the last uk royal to head an actual army

william iv captained a ship as a young man but was sidestepped for higher (non-ceremonial) office after he fell downstairs drunk and broke his arm

he was removed even from ceremonial naval office after he put to sea with a squadron of ships for ten days after telling no one senior where they would be -- they did not see action (or intend to) but on his return the duke of wellington (then prime minister) told him to quit, which he did

i just looked all that up abt william iv aka the "sailor king" bcz he did not exactly leave a mark as monarch (his older brother was a legendary wastrel, his niece was victoria)

yeah tbf there were plenty who demonstrated from the beginning that they weren’t cut out for it - but they were always given a shot! my favourite probably charles louis, eldest son of king james’ eldest daughter (she who the gunpowder plotters imagined would assume the throne after they blew up de ting). his first and i think only campaign resulted in a headlong flight from the scene in someone else’s carriage, which he attempted to steer across a river - and which promptly sank - and he only escaped with his life thanks to a serendipitously placed tree branch that was jutting out over the water and which he was found clinging onto for dear life

"William attracted criticism both from reformers, who felt that reform did not go far enough, and from reactionaries, who felt that reform went too far. A modern interpretation sees him as failing to satisfy either political extreme by trying to find a compromise between two bitterly opposed factions, but in the process proving himself more capable as a constitutional monarch than many had supposed."

powerful analysis

when everyone hates you you must be doing something right --me when everyone hates me

I do love that 11-year old Charles sent a letter to MAD Magazine, in protest of their frequent Alfred E. Newman comparisons. ("...So jolly well stow it! See! - Charles P.")

"Legendary wastrel" = my life goals. Thxbye

Some members of the crowd can be heard booing as King Charles and the Queen Consort arrive at Cardiff Castle.

Follow live updates here: https://t.co/zri53jSvDB pic.twitter.com/s0Y7OuVG2Z

— ITV Wales News (@ITVWales) September 16, 2022

theyre shouting yr a c*nt with a sh*t boo-ear

They're really shouting, "Booooooockingham Palace (is where you'll be living)"

pic.twitter.com/GqIUkWMzCc

— Mental Headlines (@MentalHeadline) September 17, 2022

BREAKING King Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles are expecting a child. pic.twitter.com/lbnR55kp1Z

— Andy Churnwell (@churnwell) September 16, 2022

...to be served to them at dinner?

it's from a book by tom bower so there's literally no reason to believe it BUT

The story goes that the then prince is said to have "shrieked" and "trembled" when first coming into contact with cling film https://t.co/rD9yeS9Ap2

— Liverpool Echo (@LivEchonews) September 16, 2022

This is like going from Hank Williams to Hank Williams, Jr.

hey at least hank jr had a few bangers, chuck could never have done anything as good as "family tradition"

Posting as much as they can get away with.

NEW: Prince Andrew issues a statement about The Queen’s death: “As our book of experiences closes another opens…and I will tread gladly into the next with you as my guide.” pic.twitter.com/qaWhkYHhzn

— Lewis Goodall (@lewis_goodall) September 18, 2022

Could be worse..

Dear everybody

... And I will tread gladly into the next with me as your guide.

God save the king, and me”

hey come on, we've all shrieked at cling film