thread for KING CHARLES III (regnal name george vii)

Population would side w/ the military, as they would not want to get shot.

But of course Charles also has zero motivation to embark on this fantasy scenario - why would he want the headaches of ruling, he's got the royal veto to maintain the family fortune and that's all that really matters.

"My wife and I (both Americans, FTR) discussed this weekend the idea that maybe it would be a good thing if Chuck were to say "Fuck this shit, I'm the king, I'm gonna be the fucking king" and rescind your new prime minister's position, dissolve Parliament by royal edict, and turn your little island back into an absolute monarchy."

I hope you were both really drunk during this convo.

its not really that small of an island, ranks in the top ten biggest iirc

You can still indulge in silly speculation while sober, xyzzz. Ain't against the rules.

He's 40.

That's still 'young' in terms of the mean & possibly also median age of the UK populace, Tom D., and also in the eyes of the Tory-voting, Countryside Alliance supporting, on-shore wind vetoing, curtain-twitching types who are the only people the govt/MSM care about the opinion of these days.

btw ppl saying in his defense that charles is an environmentalist i assume its just some neoliberalfeudal bs but i havent looked into it

environmentalist in the organic-farming-and-maintainance-of-parks sense.

well parks are nice

his type environmentalism is like Attenborough's, all about eugenics and thinning out the population - "they breed like rats". He talks a lot about food waste while his servant ends up boiling 43 eggs if he decides on a whim to go on a 3 hour morning walk.

lol perfect

Did unperson divorce his curvy Colombian wife or did she just pick up his shitty sense of humour along with her citizenship application

How about a revolution instead

Sky News just challenged the public to overthrow the monarchy pic.twitter.com/QyAiceIDVk

— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) September 12, 2022

xp

"You can still indulge in silly speculation while sober, xyzzz. Ain't against the rules."

Sounded like the kind of chat you'd be saying while drunk or brain dead.

Sounded like the kind of chat you'd be saying while drunk or brain dead.

...if you lacked an imagination, maybe! :-P

Where is the assumption that William might be better coming from?

William seems to more capable of following his grandmother's example of never saying or doing anything interesting in public ever, and therefore remaining a popular 'apolitical' figure. Some of the royal reportage in Private Eye painted him as quite a ruthless and effective operator behind the scenes, as opposed to Charles who dithers and equivocates, e.g. they credited William with making sure that Andrew was fully cast out into the wilderness when the Queen was more inclined to be forgiving.

the uk press have been sitting on stories about will's alleged infidelity for years now, so wills' ramrod compliance may be lubricated by a fear of being thrust onto tabloid front pages under straplines about his bedroom preferences

Yeah seems like a bit of a shoogly peg for the institution

sad to see royalty forced into a prostate position like that

A far cry from the previously dominant position.

i think he's just really anal about details

just a square peg in a round hole I guess

I confess that this american is (with some guilt) delighted with the lol opportunities presented by KCIII. Sorry, UK, really I am, but also good god the tragicomedy. . .

I mean we gave you Trump (also sorry about that), surely it was your turn.

tabloid features from the 80s make the best heads of state, trust us

lol i fucking told you

'Judging the right moment for a joke is always tricky...'

My latest cartoon for tomorrow's @Telegraph

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter to receive my unseen cartoons: https://t.co/JNDhrYJMFH pic.twitter.com/AhAJmld9TB

— Matt Cartoons (@MattCartoonist) September 12, 2022

that's the power you wield when you are the UK's richest sketcher of cock-noses

nashwan otm, William will be more palatable to the average subject (because he is more palatable to the papers, as evidence: the last decade of papers)

move fast! break things!

King Charles’s staff given redundancy notice during church service for Queen

Exclusive by ⁦@PippaCrerar⁩ and ⁦@ccdavies⁩ https://t.co/nAcSngcBAI

— Owen Gibson (@owen_g) September 13, 2022

psyched for some wild stories from disgruntled former employees

this man hates pens

How is this real? How is this public?! pic.twitter.com/dZlsNOVREI

— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) September 13, 2022

He is going to machine gun the rest of the Royals

he has wanted this for 60+ years and already he hates it *so much*

*prepares the popcorn*

imagine taking the King to a fucking employment tribunal, you'd end up having to pay his legal fees and 10 years of your paltry wages back to him and then get birched for having the effrontery

maybe charles will take the monarchy to a tribunal for constructive dismissal

Lol, what a loser.

Wonder if support for the Monarchy will collapse, he clearly can't keep his mouth shut.

doesnt exactly have the common touch does he

His Majesty is not used to getting ink on his fingers, and it's ruined his entire bloody day.

You can see exactly why his mother stayed in post till her literal death, can’t you

Amazing, simply amazing.

Camilla doing a much better job at this stuff

So the Duchy of Lancaster passes to Charles, and that of Cornwall to Prince William. Did they observe proper protocol, which is to pass the duchy on the left-hand side?

He probably thinks hating pens makes him seem down to earth

xpost This generation
Rules the nation

Ps the amount of people going WELL HE’S JUST LOST HIS MUM as though the guy didn’t literally give interviews saying he was “running out of time”.

All true heads of state use Sharpies.

Fucking pens, how do they work?

the most amazing video I've watched this year

I was working at a recruitment company in Piccadilly when the Queen Mother died, and even before her funeral, the staff were on the phone asking if we had vacancies for cooks, dressers, gardeners, you name it. They were all about to be made homeless. https://t.co/zLSH592cXW

— Elvis Buñuelo (@Mr_Considerate) September 13, 2022

The Duke of York will be a Counsellor of State for the new king. pic.twitter.com/qZPdhjwUjM

— PoliticsJOE (@PoliticsJOE_UK) September 14, 2022

wait it's not real money?

I don't like maundys

Just another manic maundy?

They always get me down

wait it's not real money?

Being an ignorant lout of an American, I looked up Maundy money in wikipedia and discovered:

the British monarch or a royal official ceremonially distributes small silver coins known as "Maundy money" (legally, "the King's Maundy money") as symbolic alms to elderly recipients. The coins are technically legal tender, but typically do not circulate due to their silver content and numismatic value.

SO, this is one of those weird holdovers like touching for "the King's evil" See:
https://history.rcplondon.ac.uk/blog/touching-kings-evil-short-history

when William's king they're going to modernise it and hand out £15 Playstation Network cards

they're ceremonial coins, the US also does this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_commemorative_coins

i image most states do tbh

why not gelt, at least you can eat that

im sure you could sell the coin, but maybe you want to keep it, as a keepsake

or launch them at William's ugly slaphead next time he cries at an FA cup final cos all those nasty scousers are booing the national anthem.

These fucking ppl

it's ok bud they're all dead now

rip big family

thoughts and prayers

Less than two months after Buckingham Palace confirmed King Charles III was diagnosed with cancer, sources exclusively reveal to In Touch that the king is battling pancreatic cancer and has been given two years to live.

While the royal family has kept tight-lipped about the specifics of Charles’ illness, including the type of cancer he has, a source exclusively confirms to In Touch that the king’s diagnosis is known to be an open secret among royal staffers.

“Many courtiers believe Charles’ cancer is worse than they’re making it out to be,” a second insider adds. “Even before the diagnosis, there were concerns about his health."

come on i can't wait two years for an extra bank holiday

Ouch, that's one of the worst cancers to get iirc

What's In Touch?

^ out of touch

2 years might be optimistic - it is usually incurable and when the end comes it comes quickly

He might even win some sympathy over this. Too bad he has such a grossly unsympathetic personality. The problem with being heir to a throne is it leads to an all-pervasive sense of entitlement.

er

What's _In Touch_?

sorry that was a typo, it was supposed to read According to Zing Touch…

It's time for a return to old-style king-naming. I look forward to the reign of King William the Bald.

ivar the boneless and olaf the flashy
were a very notorious couple of kings

Harald Bluetooth would often stay rooted to the same spot in his great hall

Ivar the Boneless one of the few monarchs to have a KFC meal deal named in his honour

don’t forget æthelred the zinger tower

Pancreatic cancer was the same thing that killed Steve jobs. Charles seems like the kind of person to try the same treatment (nuts and berries etc).

nuts and buried morelike