rolling #metoo thread for sexual harassment in the music industry so no one misses out when artists we don't give a fuck about like Tim Westwood and Bassnectar get caught

“Ok I have to know. What’s this other forum mentioned? I want to go there.”

Me too.

Request Access to 77 Borad

Not that anyone is speculating on there, or that they should, but that's where you ask to join the private board

That’s not the forum in question afaik

Oh I thought it was another music forum and got interested. No intention to join the ilxorminatti.

Wait there’s a secret/elite ILX board?? holy shit lol

better to think of it as the ungoogleable board, also what a fuckin derail

There’s a new Velvet Rope-style industry board? I’d love to go there.

There’s a new Velvet Rope-style industry board? I’d love to go there.

― beamish13

Wait, by "Velvet Rope" do you mean the Portland swingers' club or something else?

Wait there’s a secret/elite ILX board?? holy shit lol
― Porcine-lina of the Pig Oceans (morrisp), Wednesday, August 31, 2022 3:34 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Probably where all ILM poll results are decided by the arbiters of good or sometimes not-so-good taste

why are we doing a round of misplaced 77 outrage on this thread?

bc by and large the men on this board don't know how to fuckin act

I'd join a secret Janet Jackson Velvet Rope thread tbh

It’s pretty well known at this point, but back to the topic:

https://www.disasterserum.com/your-favorite-rockstar-is-probably-a-creep

I mean, if those are your favourite rockstars, sure

I had never seen that video of RHCP before. They continue unscathed even when Kiedis himself admits to sleeping with an underage girl in his bio. I’m pretty sure there’s a bunch of shit to be dug out.

A guy I worked with told me he was once in a record store when two of the Peppers came in, bouncing up and down--groped every woman in the shop and then bounced out.

He's one of the skeeziest presences in music history. I find it absurd when people handwavingly go on about how all rockstars are basically at it, as though this means you either have to condemn them all or tolerate their shitty behaviour. Even when it isn't practically on the surface (hello Kiedis), it isn't endemic. Whether through luck or judgement, virtually no artist I really like has ever, to public knowledge, been an abuser, groomer, pest. Scott Kelly in fact is among the very first, and see the uncompromising way the rest of the band have rightly treated him! We shouldn't EXPECT male musicians to be creeps imo. If we do, there's more of a chance they'll live down to those expectations.

But then I am an innocent lamb who couldn't possibly conceive of why someone would send an unsolicited dick pic, both for moral and aesthetic reasons, so idk

Public condemnation and legal action should deter them from being creeps.

If we continue celebrating the life and music they create without consequence there’s a chance they’ll live down to those expectations.

I had never seen that video of RHCP before. They continue unscathed even when Kiedis himself admits to sleeping with an underage girl in his bio. I’m pretty sure there’s a bunch of shit to be dug out.

― ✖✖✖ (Moka), Wednesday, August 31, 2022 11:27 AM (thirteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Which Chi-Peps video?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i_22PrQsp8

Relevant assholery and creepiness 2min onwards.

I mean, I'm always braced for stuff about say Mike Patton or JG Thirlwell but from what I can tell they keep life and art separate. Which is good, because I'd have a pretty heartwrenching set of decisions to make otherwise. This goes back to sarahell's point that sometimes, skeeziness is genuinely fireless smoke. I appreciate that even the whiff of skeeziness itself is unacceptable to many

Artists who play with the idea of critiquing toxic masculinity playing with fire etc etc

i saw that rhcp video around the time frusciante rejoined the band and it made me feel so bad even tho i already knew they were creeps

i will still be the one person updating the rhcp thread about their music bc i'm cursed to enjoy the way these sex offenders play together, it sucks

I mean I love Flea and Frusciante's work for TMV, and never think of it as music made by shitty people, as they're essentially just session players, but accepting it as a curse while not forgiving it seems like a healthy approach

The same TMV who are literally about to release an album about toxic masculinity and cults, btw - doing their bit of recompense

Whether through luck or judgement, virtually no artist I really like has ever, to public knowledge, been an abuser, groomer, pest.

This is true for me as far as musicians are concerned, thankfully, but authors, directors, and comedians are another story altogether

Luckily we are spoiled for choices now and there is plenty of art to consume made by non-douchebags

Reason? Firstly, it does reflect a carceral mindset wherein people cannot change their behaviors and become better, less abusive people. I have a friend who was credibly accused of consent violations relating to rough sex and BDSM, and when he came to his senses, he quit drinking, started intensive therapy, stopped going to shows, and started working with RAINN. He was still run out of town, but he’s continued working on himself and these issues in his new location. I find the accusations against him despicable, but I also am not sure permanent exile is the right thing to do in his case, for example.

And then there’s another guy, who was accused of straight up sexual battery by multiple women, and he was run out of town— only to then do the same thing to women in his new location.

The WB behavior is wearily familiar to what went down in some of my circles, except the power imbalance was worse in the case that I'm thinking of. This person also left town, rightfully so.

As far as consequences and reform, it's so difficult/maybe impossible to know what's going on in someone's head. In this case the abuser was smart enough to do and say lots of the "right" things, pursue lots of therapy, etc. But they were also at one point calling to "apologize" and "take responsibility for" but also to downplay and explain (i.e. lie about) the allegations in the same breath. Even if they did have the awareness to supposedly stop the abusive behavior at some point before they were found out and to pay lip service to certain aspects of it, in my opinion they're too deeply narcissistic to truly countenance the damage they caused or change in a real way, even if they change their behavior. I'm sure they had hopes to quickly do some rehab (under the "sex addiction" banner) and regain some aspects of their former life, but I think they've at least found out that no one is obligated to accept their apology or offer forgiveness.

Relevant assholery and creepiness 2min onwards.

The song is pretty WTF? too. Foreign TV, man...

I had never seen that video of RHCP before. They continue unscathed even when Kiedis himself admits to sleeping with an underage girl in his bio. I’m pretty sure there’s a bunch of shit to be dug out.

― ✖✖✖ (Moka), Wednesday, August 31, 2022 11:27 AM (fifty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

That video is from June, 1990. Three months earlier, this happened (TW/CW: sexual assault):

https://www.upi.com/Archives/1990/03/17/Two-members-of-Red-Hot-Chili-Peppers-arrested/7434637650000/

The song is pretty WTF? too. Foreign TV, man...

― an icon of a worried-looking, long-haired, bespectacled man (C. Grisso/McCain),

The sounds they make in the first two minutes alone should've gotten them sent to The Hague.

Brad otm upthread about people not knowing how to act - not just on this board but in general imo!! If these accused individuals took time and effort to think before they act impulsively, to learn about and employ principles of consent (again I recommend the FRIES model) they could effectively check themselves before they wreck themselves.
Spare us the excuses afterward by not violating people to start with. Imagine that!

otm

Here’s a video if you’re unfamiliar w the FRIES model of consent

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTSDIilyA2I

It’s pretty well known at this point, but back to the topic:

https://www.disasterserum.com/your-favorite-rockstar-is-probably-a-creep

― ✖✖✖ (Moka)

whether or not they are also a "weirdo" is up for debate

It can be more complicated than that when power dynamics are involved, though -- I think in some cases these men can convince themselves that they're good because consent is being given freely in the moment, after they've already engaged in a lengthy campaign of grooming and emotional manipulation.

Yes, and then there are cases like Scott Kelly's, where the abuse emerges from an apparently tranquil family situation, although we'll probably never know what signs we're there before

The F in FRIES means no coercion or manipulation; everyone needs to follow it, the pursuer as well as the pursued. The more we educate ourselves the less this will happen and that is the goal correct????

Domestic abuse is an entirely different issue than sexual coercion.

There needs to be a way out of this — we can’t just keep and update a binder of creeps

Like I don’t need to be told that grooming and coercion exist. I’ve been aware most of my life tbrrwu. I need to believe there is a pathway to safer, healthier human interaction.

La Lech Killa

Agreed, and I think coverage and discussion of these cases will genuinely act as a deterrent for some people in the future. But also I think that Win Butler and similar men convinced themselves that they were not in fact engaging in coercion or manipulation at the time, and that there's a lot of compartmentalization and selective (lack of) empathy going on. And they were/are capable of doing so for years at a time. I don't know what the answer is, but I do hope that increased awareness of what this looks like has a positive effect (even if it's just because they're afraid of consequences).

xp

pretty sure they know what they're doing

it bothers me a lot that old boomer icons still always seem get a pass for this shit - they helped create this culture but no one wants to touch them - maybe because it seems to implicate too many people and too much beloved music

I see the article basically already made that point although the list could be expanded to include almost every prominent male rocker

I don't mean to say they don't know what they're doing, or to relieve them of an ounce of responsibility, but the defenses they come up with after the fact have a big element of "I thought this was ok at the time."

yeah Jimmy Page in particular seems like a situation nobody wants to think about

I know of one editor who's actively attempting to shake the tree on at least one pervy boomer but what can anyone really do with 30-year-old stories that have already been published multiple times