Real England

i need to know how this story ends + pictures of nonplussed cats sitting at a little table with tiny dishes of shrew ice cream

https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/reports-mans-hand-chopped-off-24715290

Someone has had their hand chopped off outside Deighton WMC over a £10 bag of weed. Not very amusing but I did have a grim chuckle to myself when I read it which is a bad not good thing to do. It always was a very bad vibes WMC with a killer Alsatian often left out on the flat roof (a bit of 70's/80's thing at various rough as fuck flat roof pubs) that used to snarl at schoolkids walking past on a morning, and the psycho-gammon landlord used to threaten to let it loose on them if they persisted in throwing stones at the poor beast. I grew up just around the corner and it's a classic heart-warming Real Deighton story that will no doubt have an even grimmer follow up.

“I have lived here for 20-odd years and there will be reprisals. I hear he has lost his hand over a £10 bag of weed. I was here the last time a lad had his arm nearly sliced off.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp8i50Fureo

lol whoops

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/280d54c0-77cb-458e-89ab-1a94b3e80c34#73aLMxn6.copy

most blood feuds do start over some trivial shit, but lord, a tenner bag of weed is a new low!

i blame metric, it was better when they sold it in eighths

I haven't bought weed in years but it seems weed dealers have took a side in the imperial vs metric war, bloody melts!

but when I did buy weed in the early 90's in the Sheepridge/Deighton area, interactions with dealers was always very cordial and relaxed, never felt in any peril or ever caught sight of a machete!

if a fvcked with screen names i'd definitely pinch "sugar-free traditional custard (albeit shrew-flavoured)"

was curious if people eat shrews and there is a US Catch and Cook a shrew guide on YT. But their shrews look much bigger.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp8i50Fureo

― seo layer (Noodle Vague), zaterdag 13 augustus 2022 12:14

Real Mzansi

Torrential rain this afternoon after very hot weather the previous few days. I was on the bus home and there were a lot of drenched people. In front of me were two 14-15 year old lads who were skateboarders dressed in t-shirts and shorts. One of them said to the other "If I was wearing my waterproof jacket and trousers nothing would touch me except your mum."

Hedgehog accidentally donated to charity shop https://t.co/JQZCymZMfh

— BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) August 23, 2022

i've always wanted to take a roadkill one on a shovel, drop it off at a hedgehog hospital and tell them to sort that fucker out

Well, there it is. The picture that will go around the world. pic.twitter.com/Ysdqu6Mq9j

— Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) September 6, 2022

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FcECdnoXoAAQO4z?format=png

Pretty sure I saw that in the Jorvik museum in York

things getting way too real very soon

you're the one that just posted that picture of the Queen ffs

Perfection is everything

A little outside of the thread's charter, but still:

I put crisps in between buttered bread, and yet you say I am not part of this culture?

I shout "weyyyy" when someone smashes a glass in a pub, and still I am not part of your culture?

WHEN YOU SAY AUTOGLASS REPAIR, I SAY AUTOGLASS REPLACE, BUT I AM NOT OF THIS CULTURE??? https://t.co/cU60a7pH71

— Ash Sarkar (@AyoCaesar) September 12, 2022

BBC1's prime time show this evening is a single 90 minute shot of a van driving down a road in the drizzle.

slow television. it's a thing.

you know, with the right soundtrack (so not these cunts droning on) this could be pretty good TV

i turned it on on yr recommendation (sound down) and yes it's terrific

modern city light is gorgeous

i had the same thought a few minutes back, take out the obsequious blather over the top and put a few captions on there and you've got a show

you wait until they drive back to London, could easily get 12 hours out of that, simulcast on the red button.

alternate commentary by hacker the dog

trying it with some different music, not sure this one works, any suggestions?

It's better if you take away the tedious commentary and add some music. pic.twitter.com/Kv9zxITydm

— Centuries of Sound (@Centuries_Sound) September 13, 2022

im listening to the new 5-4 pod

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-62900500

"BBC to stream Queen Elizabeth II lying in state"

even slower tv...

If it didn't all absolutely boil my blood some of this could be prime ASMR fodder.

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/DelightfulDistortedAmazontreeboa-max-1mb.gif

Tesco, Bangor, 13/09/22 pic.twitter.com/g5jYrx0V49

— Seiriol Dawes-Hughes (@seiriol) September 13, 2022

(saw my first EiiR memorial bus-stop earlier today, which then changed into some betting ad)

this seems not great:

Car boot...they selling lost parcels for £2 pic.twitter.com/iIzmHzmqIt

— C B (@seeby123) September 18, 2022

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu8ub0gddyA

youtubers whomst are impressively terrible

✔

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FdNPk-fWQAggNCl?format=jpg&name=small

My local business of the week award goes to Bing Shropshire, who has been selling his jugs of tea in the Municipal Gardens for 45 years. 'The odd thing is,' confessed Bing, 64, 'is that I don't even like tea. I hate it. And I hate people.'
We wish him many more years of success. pic.twitter.com/rgbvHmj0Yr

— Councillor Rowan Battley (@CllrBattley) October 1, 2022

googling "bing shropshire" brings up this tweet and nothing else that isn't just accidentally in the search field

too real for gs

it reminds of the real mini golf course that used to be in Rectory Park that had an honesty box and cans of pop on sale for 50p for when there was nobody there, god knows how that worked. The council stopped maintaining it 10 years ago and it's overgrown and strewn with dogshit now.

wow, sudden vivid flashback to the putting green at Pleck Park when i was little

The Jug of Tea place has been a staple of UK Martin Parr type Instagrammers and pre-Instagram bloggers and for about 20 years. I think the price was 99p when I first saw it.

pic.twitter.com/MxSEzN12xO

— Mental Headlines (@MentalHeadline) October 9, 2022

The same old story. One minute it’s a minor tiff over who had the last custard cream, the next it’s global thermonuclear warfare, millions dead, and the rise of the machines as per the prophecy. https://t.co/a1LMTBZxdp

— Angry People in Local Newspapers (@angrypiln) October 10, 2022

https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g190804-d12865329-Reviews-Bude_Tunnel-Bude_Bude_Stratton_Cornwall_England.html

suggested duration < 1 hour

no i think you shd try and take longer than an hour to walk just 70 metres