abysmal real names

Izzy Posen

Amanda Rock

Hatchet M. Speed

not so much abysmal but...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ali_Bongo_Ondimba

mainly because of this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ali_Bongo_(magician)

(drat, even {url} tags didn't fix the missing last ) problem)

Can it be fixed by putting it as text within URL quotes?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ali_Bongo_(magician)

Nope!

i'm sure i have done it before maybe like this? - using the first example in the formatting

That worked on Zing

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Topham_Beauclerk

Simultaneously awesome and odd:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roar_Strand

I found that name after reading about another Roar Strand, a fighter pilot:
https://www.i-f-s.nl/accidents-incidents-1980/

"During a ground controlled approach to Bodø Airbase, this F-104G suffered a substantial loss of engine power. The pilot, Roar Strand, realised he would not reach the runway and decided to eject. He landed with minor injuries in Valnesfjorden."

So there are or were at least two people in the world called Roar Strand. In fact Roar is apparently not all that unusual - it's the Norwegian equivalent of "Roger" - and there are a tonne of footballers with that name:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roar_(given_name)

Including Roar Christensen, Roar Hagen, Roar Johansen, a different Roar Johansen, and Roar Stokke.

Is Norway one of those places where there's a limited number of names, as in e.g. Iceland? I don't know much about Norway.

or e.g. Wales

Not really limited as such, but heavily subject to trends (as I'm sure is the case elsewhere). To see the popularity of e.g. "Roar", visit the homepage of Statistics Norway, look for "Navnesøk", enter "Roar" and click the button, and you will find that out of Norway's 2,737,332 males, 6,581 have Roar as their first forename. Click the "Historisk utvikling" dropdown, and you'll see that it was particularly popular from about the end of WWII to the early 1970s – with a quite spectacular drop from 1973 to 1974. Intriguing.

(Btw, a less-used, Old Norse-inflected variant, is Hroar; 81 men as of now.)

d3m4rr g4rdn3r

bl4ne l0gan

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/5XBNh_5_y1A/maxresdefault.jpg

When they Indigo, I Rumblelow

The name's more twee than abysmal but the association with the Just Stop Oil movement is unfortunate as it fits the media stereotype of a Just Stop Oil activist a bit too neatly.

that's a great name imo

i agree honestly, except think the 'oh' sounds are awkwardly situated. abysmal names to me are like hard white consonants and vowels mashed up together. parents who should have known better, somehow they missed that the full name was objectively ugly. mr. and mrs. gardner thinking that 'demarr' is fab just because grandpa was named that or w/e. when you say demarr gardner you sound like a yorkie barking at a passing car imo. that is probably way too much thought about what an abysmal real name is that no one asked for.

indigo is a lovely name but i'm a hippie so *shrugs*

It does sound like a refrain from an English folk song/ sea shanty

Young Boozer https://www.google.com/search?kgmid=/m/0dgpy28&hl=en-AU&q=Young+Boozer&kgs=93908d333ac907d9&shndl=17&source=sh/x/kp/osrp/4&entrypoint=sh/x/kp/osrp

legit thought that was a rapper

Is the Onion's head writer *really* called 'Chad Nackers'... Because, that.

let us not forget
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0ATPKgadF4

one of my mom's friends just had a grandson whose middle name is "Hercules". his first name? Milton!!!!!

xp featuring a starkly serious CBC interview of Lewis Lapham! Canadians are funny.

xp so sad just name your kid hercules, you can call him herc, great name imo

Hey Herc! Hey Herc!

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYzdhMzIwMmQtNGIxMS00M2ExLWI1M2MtMDQ4YTcwODZmNzJjXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNDcwNDI2MTk@._V1_.jpg

Two from the realms of football coaches:
Jeff Saturday
Hugh Freeze

speaking of I saw an NFL coach (iirc?) named D3an Pees

I would change my last name if I were named Pees

Ppl with last name 'F4rt1ngt0n'

in the first place i worked we had someone called Txxxx Far who wasn't best pleased with the company's SurnameInitial email addresses

LL - there's also an Isaiah Peed, putting things in the past tense

I was playing an American Football GM simulator game and decided to play with fake players and two of the names it came up with were:

Pooh Brown
Oliver Schmuck

LL - there's also an Isaiah Peed, putting things in the past tense

― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal)

I say, I peed. Cruel parents.

One of the Jan 6 rioters is named Albuquerque Head.

https://www.cnn.com/2022/10/27/politics/capitol-attack-january-6-fanone-albuquerque-head-sentenced/index.html

https://www.espncricinfo.com/player/liberty-heap-1184036

one of those 50/50 decisions that could have gone into 'great' but honestly i can't cope with this one

That cricket website is a goldmine for anybody writing a novel set in the late 1800s where the villain is a British imperialist. It's almost like a random name generator but with actual names. All you have to do is smush together a forename and some surnames. Obviously you can't use real names otherwise the people who owned those names would take legal action. As per e.g. Ernő Goldfinger, who tried to sue Ian Fleming for using his surname but decided against it, perhaps foreseeing what would come to be called the Streisand Effect.

William Conrad Francis Smeed is an evil-sounding name, and yet instead of dedicating his entire life to evil he decided to occupy some of his time with cricket, so he can't be entirely evil. He might not be evil at all! NB I'm writing this in case he googles his own name and finds this thread. He's a trained cricketer with access to body armour and a cricket bat. It's sad clicking on some of those names and seeing that they last played in 2020. Sometimes I forget that COVID ever happened, and then something comes along and reminds me.

Do you know how see the cuckoo cloths. Cookit cloths.

Guy just joined my company called hunt3r f1t3

m4lissa l4ws

GREAT spelling of melissa and such a melodious combination with 'laws'

fanny ardant

https://scholars.uow.edu.au/hugh-forehead

Ellinor D’Melon

Priscila Chinchilla

that is an amazing name!! i am a fan

(a fan of the name, i am not familiar with the person whatsoever)