"we'll change the things that need changing and that's all we'll change": the paSUKification of post-brexit politics 2021

That’s xyzzzz__ trying to bump up Penny Mordaunt’s odds for reasons

Nobody cares about a trade envoy quitting, we want big beasts!

pic.twitter.com/1jUxgnHbKY

— Rt Hon Andrew Murrison MP (@AWMurrison) July 5, 2022

imagine Mordaunt vs Cooper at PMQs, what a time to be alive

NEW: PM apologies for appointing Pincher to govt. Says “he regrets it so much” because of the 2019 complaint. PM now backtracking big time. Saying “I should have recognised then he wasn’t going to learn and he wasn’t going to change”

— Beth Rigby (@BethRigby) July 5, 2022

Horny centrist dads combusting all over the country - actually, when you put it like that…

Frost trying to quit a job he doesn't have is the turning-up-with-an-empty-folder of these

LOL Jacob Rees Mogg talking about how the Marquess of Salisbury survived Randolph Churchill resigning from the cabinet.

Surely gove is tired of having a stupid job

come on Murrison, you can't take a better photo than that?

Surely gove is tired of having a stupid job face

xyzzzz__ has more chance of being leader of the Conservative Party than Michael Gove.

Bin Afolami, apparently the vice chair of the party, just resigned on TV.

lol who honestly knows wtf he is!

he's gone for maximum impact by resigning live on a tv channel with a few hundred viewers

Jonathan Gullis, Parliamentary private secretary to the Northern Ireland secretary, is out too! All the big guns resigning now.

Ben Wallace, Defence secretary, rumoured to be going too.

Ben Wallace & Scromit

BREAKING: New bombshells revealed to be entering Casa Amor tonight pic.twitter.com/XFUpRdQPgQ

— Maddy Mussen (@maddy_mussen) July 5, 2022

Sunak's letter is pretty much "I wanted to destroy the last bits of government with mega austerity like Ayn Rand wanted but you wouldn't jam with that so I'm pretending to resign over standards".

Ben Wallace was bigged up a serious player by the graun despite all evidence suggesting he's just as much a fucking idiot as anyone in the Johnson cabinet

my thoughts exactly. “finally i was going to get my chance to really slash support for everyone and you won’t let me” xpost

Stand off in No10.

Boris wants Liz Truss to become Chancellor.

But Nadhim Zahawi says he will quit if he isn't moved from Education to No11.

— Jonathan Reilly (@thejonnyreilly) July 5, 2022

pouring one out for will quince and mike freer tbrr

Ben Wallace is probably the Tory membership'a choice, and it's them electing the next PM..

Boris will have to off The Queen tonight, might be the only way he survives.

Zawhawi is the new chancellor

pic.twitter.com/m4KIhsLTuw

— wint MP (@parliawint) July 5, 2022

We’ve all been there at work, surely

Conservative MP for Telford Lucy Allan doesn’t seem especially enamoured with the new Education Secretary pic.twitter.com/v7o1yiKFdx

— Lewis Goodall (@lewis_goodall) July 5, 2022

Supposedly the times is calling for Boris to go now

Boris Johnson was asked by an ally tonight if he was considering quitting

He responded: “Fuck that”

Allies claim Zahawi will be a better chancellor for Johnson: ‘We’ve ended up with a more suitable chancellor for growing the economy rather than balancing the books’

— Steven Swinford (@Steven_Swinford) July 5, 2022

This could get tasty.

Donelan's career outside politics was in marketing, including a time working on Marie Claire magazine and World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE)

Just remembering this all time great tweet from a previous round of resignations

Your a pps Chris. It is not relevant and nobody gives a fuck. Apart from me obviously.

— Simon Hart (@Simonhartmp) July 9, 2018

jfc BBC Radio 4 bloke asks Rachel Reeves how a general election would impact on the Ukraine

defund the BBC

Rachel Reeves: don't worry we're well up for a war, more bombs

defund the Labour Party

defund the UK i hope Johnson sets it on fire before he goes

Vaccines. If there was anyone who didn't know Nadhim "Vaccines" Zahawi was Minister for Vaccines then they will vaccines certainly know all about it in the vaccines next days. Vaccines.

Have heard anecdotal evidence of dumbshit Tory voters saying things like "he had a good pandemic, Boris". And who was his trusty lieutenant in Britain's Greatest Hour? Why, Vaccines Zahawi himself! They're just trying to do the right thing, you know.

Hold on, children's minister Will Quince is gone now. Maybe there's a Quince Minister that can resign too, at this point who knows.

I'd take my chances with any Tory chancellor over the void of humanity that is Reeves. I swear to god she would round up all non-working people and put them in charity relief camps if it would improve GDP by a fraction of 1%.

so it turns out the PIP reforms which the bbc reported "were designed to save the government money" (realpolitik translation: be effective at corporate manslaughter) is costing 70% more than anticipated. There is a tasty attack-from-the-right op for Reeves.

ahaha sure sure

@tnewtondunn
2h
Nadhim Zahawi reveals to
@TimesRadio that he has been pushing for a 9% pay rise for teachers this year, and 7% next year.
Now he’s Chancellor, he can grant that.

‘There’s been another resignation at Downing Street Chris Kamara... but for who?’ pic.twitter.com/dTJuWWvWB9

— Jonathan Davies (@JonnyPotter87) July 5, 2022

“What’s happening Kammy” 😳🤷🏽‍♂️ i dunno Jeff 😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/J3Wc96Mcx7

— Chris Kamara (@chris_kammy) July 5, 2022

Two more gone

Should do one of those old May-era VoNC in the commons just to make them all trot out and vote in support of him now

What’s the odds on someone crossing the floor during pmqs

The nerd strain in the Johnson's government's rhetoric - from "levelling up" to Zahawi on today repeatedly talking about "warp speed" is such a puzzle? Not very Johnsonian, surely can't appeal to your average Tory.

— Josh Lowe (@JeyyLowe) July 6, 2022

this twitter thread has led to me discovering that some people interpret the phrase 'levelling up' as a video game reference, this had literally never occurred to me. did anyone else read it that way?

Yes, I thought that was what it was

Better be juicy this Javid jabber

Just before #PMQs. Opposition benches packed to the rafters. Tory benches half empty. Whips, reportedly, stalking corridors trying to herd MPs in. ~AA

— Best for Britain (@BestForBritain) July 6, 2022

I'm glad Johnson has some fight in him