who is Bob Lefsetz?

Pretty funny sometimes-trolling interview with Lef on How Long Gone.

Rather than becoming a musician, you're better off becoming a comedian. You can buy your beats, create a hit and be back in your bedroom within a year. It's a lot harder to make it in comedy, you have to pay your dues, hone your craft, but once you break through you can tell jokes FOREVER!

"Miami 2017" EXPLODES out of the speakers. It's almost like a rocket liftoff at Cape Canaveral. And when Billy starts to tickle the ivories you're ALL IN!

his blog became second person billy joel erotica so gradually i never noticed

in that case, i want to contact him about advertising on his blog.

Well, you can't spell Billy Joel without BJ.

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hey, I didn't realize "Billy Joel Bowl" was a thing.

Unless Urban Dictionary is lying to me.

urban dictionary has never lied.

to anyone.

ever.

why is there not a band called Jilly Bowl?

checks Spotify.

oh, never mind.

We ARE Woodstock '99.

disappointingly otm

When Don Henley sang we hadn’t had that spirit since 1969 he was right. He knew, BUT YOU IGNORED HIM!

Yes, our rock stars were seers, laying down truth.

Everybody else sold out to the man.

last week he was trying to say that nobody knows who beyoncé is

ok, not quite, but he did ignore the critical hosannas in order to highlight an opinion from a venture capitalist who "listened to house music since the beginning"

well, i mean ... if you call that music.

Everybody Else Sold Out To The Man: The Don Henley Story: He Knew: BUT YOU IGNORED HIM! by big bobby lef

This is like a monstrous parody of what happens to men of a certain age who can't admit they've lost touch with current music.

(I meant the actual blog, not cat's post)

Next week - Bob Lefsetz comes clean:

Beyoncé’s Renaissance: We Haven’t Had That Spirit Here Since Destiny’s Child

Although it's equally irritating when he takes the opposite stance, when he goes to a rave or electronic music show: "this is what the kids of today love, all you people talking about sitting quietly listening to some singer-songwriter need to live in the present!"

he doesn't have...how you say...object permanence

but that’s what’s so great about him! it’s like peering directly into the cavernous echoing emptiness of an old timey record exec’s mind heart soul newsletter

without the "having actual success in the music business" part

he just hasn’t sold out to the man, man. bob has studied at the feet of don henley, whose wisdom we have ignored, ignored!!!!!! through these many long decades and now look at us. nary a newsletter to our names, for shame.

Could be Lef’s tombstone:

Something is happening here. I just wanted to hip you to it.

loved his column yesterday when he explained that most people don’t realize that atlanta has a big rap scene

well he does seem stuck in 1984, so sure why not.

idk who he's even talking to when he says things like that cause any industry exec has been making most their money from rap music for over a decade

“Sir, this is a Subaru dealership.”

I've been waiting for the blues to come back. Isn't it about time? Aren't the blues forever? One thing's for sure, we've got 'em, you and me, it's tough times, despite all the hedonistic music on the hit parade.

Which most people don't know.

Happens to me all the time. Yesterday at the Subaru dealer. Service writer had no idea who Morgan Wallen was. I felt like I was speaking a foreign language, all I got was a blank face talking about the acts I was going to see.

Hahaha

i didn't know it could get better

I’ve been getting endless texts asking me to weigh in with my political opinions. What do I do with them? I BLOCK THE NUMBERS!

I went down in my Crosstrek, to get the oil changed
I went down in my Crosstrek, to get the oil changed
Start talkin’ ‘bout Morgan Wallen
Service writer stared like I was strange

I would have thought that Bob was ideologically opposed to lightweights such as former contestants on The Voice, but what do I know

Morgan Wallen has probably been responsible for 30% of music industry profits for the past two years

If you haven't made love to "Avalon"...

Who cared how many tickets the band sold, who cared if everybody knew the material or not, I certainly did, and how many times have I had sex to this?

ew Bob no

now the party’s over, and i’m so tired

what was that next line again?

Bob's new phone is fucked:

Then I called Apple.

I got India. Or at least someone with an Indian accent. A heavy Indian accent. That used to be the advantage of Apple, you got an Anglo, an American. And I’m not saying that Indians don’t know the tech, but I am saying so many of these people I CAN’T UNDERSTAND!

https://lefsetz.com/wordpress/2022/10/04/iphone-14-pro-max/

Then he does a full takedown of his readership, who he seems to hate:

This makes me crazy, not only the people who can’t read, but don’t read. Happens all the time. I write about something and I get scabrous e-mail from people that I didn’t mention this or that when if they only read what I wrote they’d see that I did! And then there are those who can’t read, don’t know what a quotation mark is.

Then there are those who e-mail me that they’re happy with their old phones, their 6s… What these wankers don’t realize is THOSE PHONES ARE NO LONGER SUPPORTED!

https://lefsetz.com/wordpress/2022/10/06/more-iphone-14-pro-max/

Bloke's gone bananas.

This is like when you ride the chairlift and ask people how they like their new skis. They bought ’em, THEY LOVE ‘EM! But for someone like me, who cases the market, who owns multiple pairs, has demoed many models, I know that there are distinct differences between the brands. Now a casual skier may not care, but… Bottom line, most Volkls are stiff and worthless in the bumps. You say your under 90mm-waisted skis are perfect for powder, when I own a pair of 118s, as do most who ski many days a year in powder country, because it makes it so much EASIER! The wider girth allows the ski to float. So if you’re happy with T-Mobile…

I’ve experienced T-Mobile.

But for someone like me, who cases the market, who owns multiple pairs, has demoed many models, I know that there are distinct differences between the brands. Now a casual skier may not care, but

[produces chainsaw]

"Westside Music Biz Guy Droning on About How Only Verizon Works in the Canyons" is such a specific L.A. type

And it’s not only rural… L.A. is a hilly town, Verizon delivers the most consistent service. Whenever the phone call drops out…it’s always T-Mobile or AT&T. And if you’re doing business, this is important. Your kid may not need the most reliable connections, but the amount you pay for your phone bill is a pittance compared to the amount you’re earning for a living.

What the f--- is this clown doing that he can't afford to miss a call

(which is not to say he's wrong... I've been on TMO in L.A. for 15+ yrs, and would not recommend it for anyone with vital e-mail newsletter business to conduct)

Can’t miss a call from his ski guy, those 118mm powders don’t stay on the showroom floor long, at least not in greater Los Angeles

What these wankers don’t realize is THOSE PHONES ARE NO LONGER SUPPORTED!

I am what they call a power user. And it’s fine if you’re not, but don’t confuse your needs with mine. You may not need the latest features, but I do. Don’t judge me. Because there’s plenty of stuff you’ve got that I don’t need at all.