Real England

Very few flags or bullshit around our walk today (London) from Denmark Hill through the edges of Brixton, even into the posh parts of Stockwell, Little Portugal going into Nine Elms and then on into Pimlico. We unfortunately decided to walk onto Charing Cross to get back SE. There were some crowds around the latter coming on into 6pm but not too bad.

It was ALL very quiet of royalists until we got to the Traf. Sq. Nobody here cares.

I haven't seen a single flag in my area. I've avoided watching anything about this on TV but could it be that it hasn't lived up to the hype?

some arsehole has hoisted a flag to a lamppost around the corner, but they could only get high enough with their B+Q stepladder or their stack of milk crates or whatever they used that it is well below half mast at best and looks a bit ridiculous considering she's not officially dead yet! I'm disappointed to hear the Ouzelwell estate is hosting a jubilee party tomorrow. It used to be hardcore when I lived there - I once saw a drunk guy almost get shot dead by a WYP armed response unit from the kitchen window of my flat for pointing a broken unloaded air pistol at a kid! Now it's gone terminally middle class it seems.

Nothing is going to to this.

So a hologram of the queen drove through London in a golden carriage today. And people waved at it. They waved at a hologram. pic.twitter.com/hxRFzFp2N7

— Barry Malone (@malonebarry) June 5, 2022

The weekend's real jubilee event

Multiple INJURIES after 2022 Jubilee Cheese Rolling Contest in the UK. The annual event returned to Gloucestershire after a 2 year hiatus to celebrate the Jubilee #Jubilee #JubileeWeekend #cheeserolling #platinumjubilee @MailOnlineVideo @SunVideo pic.twitter.com/AU1pO9y2Nf

— Urban Pictures (@Urban_Pictures) June 5, 2022

Yikes! pic.twitter.com/KJUJ5ch6hC

— Mukhtar (@The_onlyMukhtar) June 5, 2022

look at how he’s moving his body, it’s like the ghost of the pharoahs is tickling his balls

Arrests after Jubilee party descends into 20-person brawl https://t.co/o8fAPITPIy

— BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) June 5, 2022

Well they would invite Harry and Meghan to the same party as Kate and Wills.

Monsters of Royal

A walk around a couple of areas of Edinburgh yesterday revealed no bunting whatsoever, although apparently there's a big screen in Princes Street Gardens for royalists to view the festivities on while among their own kind.

There's some bunting on the Union Canal but it turns out it's just left over from its 200th anniversary a few weeks ago.

I did see a bit of bunting etc in a few Glasgow charity shops, but that was about it. No sign of a single street party.

I'm sure they had some out in Lanarkshire and Ayrshire.

copyright subsists in Del Boy as a literary work under English law

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhRaaU9-Jg4

the Binley Mega Chippy song has been stuck in my head all week

it seems a bit expensive for one lot of fish & chips, but then again he did get beans, curry sauce, gravy and mushy peas!

my local chippy is much cheaper and the proprietor, Paul is a certified master chef and was once presented with the Best Chips Award by Keith Chegwin (beating off some stiff competition no doubt) and he used to be the personal chef of Prince Andrew, but doesn't like to talk about it so much now!

the last time I went last month I got 1 fish & chips, 2 portions of chips (in much more generous proportions than seen in the vid), 2 large cups of curry sauce, 2 large cups of mushy peas and two portions of collops and I still had a fiver in my change from a 20 spot. I'd just simply refuse to pay London prices in Coventry!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VS93y0-YEhc

Subtitles for the Scottish guy. Nice.

Let's hope Limmy never sees this.

Rainy fascism island had a good run.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/wet-wipe-island-has-changed-course-of-thames-d2nqt9hwd

Andrew Gwynne, Labour MP for Denton and Reddish in Greater Manchester, said that wet wipe pollution was turning riverbanks into “a horrific scene from a Nightmare Before Christmas”, a reference to the Tim Burton’s dark fantasy film about a Halloween world populated by mummies, skeletons and monsters.

My heads gone. The most British fella I've ever seen pic.twitter.com/daBLfxzaNC

— Samuel Parry (@WelshSocialism) July 19, 2022

lol!

I love how he goes from aggressive threatening talk to clown totally shitting out

"Real" England

I think that probably is real, actually.

if it's fake then he is now my favourite actor

sometimes fake is realer than real

I was with it up until the pratfall

British heat wave. pic.twitter.com/672dk6azig

— GRITCULT (@GRITCULT) July 18, 2022

A worthwhile meander around the mumsnet forums tonight pic.twitter.com/ybZEPouk1c

— Kate Hewson (@katejhewson) August 8, 2022

i need to know how this story ends + pictures of nonplussed cats sitting at a little table with tiny dishes of shrew ice cream

https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/reports-mans-hand-chopped-off-24715290

Someone has had their hand chopped off outside Deighton WMC over a £10 bag of weed. Not very amusing but I did have a grim chuckle to myself when I read it which is a bad not good thing to do. It always was a very bad vibes WMC with a killer Alsatian often left out on the flat roof (a bit of 70's/80's thing at various rough as fuck flat roof pubs) that used to snarl at schoolkids walking past on a morning, and the psycho-gammon landlord used to threaten to let it loose on them if they persisted in throwing stones at the poor beast. I grew up just around the corner and it's a classic heart-warming Real Deighton story that will no doubt have an even grimmer follow up.

“I have lived here for 20-odd years and there will be reprisals. I hear he has lost his hand over a £10 bag of weed. I was here the last time a lad had his arm nearly sliced off.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp8i50Fureo

lol whoops

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/280d54c0-77cb-458e-89ab-1a94b3e80c34#73aLMxn6.copy

most blood feuds do start over some trivial shit, but lord, a tenner bag of weed is a new low!

i blame metric, it was better when they sold it in eighths

I haven't bought weed in years but it seems weed dealers have took a side in the imperial vs metric war, bloody melts!

but when I did buy weed in the early 90's in the Sheepridge/Deighton area, interactions with dealers was always very cordial and relaxed, never felt in any peril or ever caught sight of a machete!

if a fvcked with screen names i'd definitely pinch "sugar-free traditional custard (albeit shrew-flavoured)"

was curious if people eat shrews and there is a US Catch and Cook a shrew guide on YT. But their shrews look much bigger.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp8i50Fureo

― seo layer (Noodle Vague), zaterdag 13 augustus 2022 12:14

Real Mzansi

Torrential rain this afternoon after very hot weather the previous few days. I was on the bus home and there were a lot of drenched people. In front of me were two 14-15 year old lads who were skateboarders dressed in t-shirts and shorts. One of them said to the other "If I was wearing my waterproof jacket and trousers nothing would touch me except your mum."

Hedgehog accidentally donated to charity shop https://t.co/JQZCymZMfh

— BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) August 23, 2022

i've always wanted to take a roadkill one on a shovel, drop it off at a hedgehog hospital and tell them to sort that fucker out

Well, there it is. The picture that will go around the world. pic.twitter.com/Ysdqu6Mq9j

— Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) September 6, 2022

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FcECdnoXoAAQO4z?format=png

Pretty sure I saw that in the Jorvik museum in York