NFTs (thread now extremely NSFW)

A @YahooSports’ @TheBig3 report: League to allow fans ownership access to all 12 teams through NFTs https://t.co/2jq2zoA08J

— Chris Haynes (@ChrisBHaynes) June 3, 2022

Imma going to pass on this one.

Benefits of owning a FEAT include: selecting which team to purchase; highlights and more will be available license-free; a chance to receive a championship ring if your team wins the title; and more.

whoa, nice!!!!!!

big3 if true

Another smash success

🚨BREAKING: Bored Ape Yacht Club and Otherside Metaverse Discord servers have been hacked. Millions worth of #NFTs reportedly stolen.

— Watcher.Guru (@WatcherGuru) June 4, 2022

“Millions’ worth…wait…thousands’ worth…wait I’m just being updated again, hundreds of pennies’ worth of NFTs stolen today”.

How will this affect the world slurp juice supply?

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/58b397116b8f5b2e7cca7713/1548183135516-782F3IUGRHD4U5DWGERN/0000.jpg?format=750w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtLWbrOircQ

information monke wants to be free

I have no idea what that video is but I can't think of a less clickable thumbnail.

Lol just click it

I clicked it and I have no idea why you said to

its the Halo announcer. people pay him to say stuff. i dunno, it's funny

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game.

You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your buddy from school has spent the last 2 years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian ore into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last weeks.

It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you hop into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now.

You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better.

All members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor.

Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence.

The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic.

In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel.

Life is good.

#blockchaingaming

its the Halo announcer. people pay him to say stuff. i dunno, it's funny

I don’t know what sport or stadium or wrestling organization or w/e Halo is!

Does Michael Buffer do Cameo? I could go for "Bored Apes Stolen" in the style of LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUMBLE!

lmfao

https://archive.ph/2022.06.01-152901/https://www.ft.com/content/610e111e-71a2-4182-ad30-da49530a12f6

Bottoms up

users’ wallets (aka “Souls”)

trenchant af

Imagine a world where...

This is an infallible marker of the utopian style. It is also framed as a command, which marks it as a sales pitch.

The perfect tweet

Anna Sorokin, known for taking hundreds of thousands of dollars from friends and businesses while posing as a German heiress, says she's trying to move away from the "scammer persona" and plans to launch a collection of NFTs. https://t.co/k4XzaoK2qO

— NBC News (@NBCNews) June 16, 2022

this is a test conducted by aliens to identify who the earthlings are that will believe absolutely anything

After the apparently genuine tulip bulb NFTs and Ponzi NFTs there is nothing left to parody here

xp
They sure run that test a lot.

Read that as Aaron Sorkin, the West Wing guy and thought sure, he seems like the scammer type who would do a douchey NFT

This is insane pic.twitter.com/hyyma3sJmC

— harper (@harper) June 21, 2022

lmfao good on the scammers

Just saw that tweet and was filled with joy.

I assume you still have to log in?? Or does it get your credentials from your phone?

If the scammers are any good at their jobs, it's just scan code > lose all your "money."

I've never scanned a QR code in my life, and this isn't making me want to

Scam Billboards in NYC
QR Codes lead to wallet drainer sites
The sky above the port was the color of television
Tuned to a dead channel

I'm at the NFT NYC conference again in Times Square, and Snoop walked by, flanked by security. I grabbed his handler, said I'm a reporter, would love a few minutes. The guy said actually that's an impersonator, legally can't say it's him, they hired him to drum up excitement.

— Kevin Collier (@kevincollier) June 21, 2022

Holy shit that name tag tho https://t.co/s4e3TOJQCK pic.twitter.com/3sHo1hqgBY

— amosmelli (@regiscake) June 21, 2022

that tweet thread is still killing me

call him Doop Westwood

You spend the first five ETH trying to get with the plan
And the next five ETH trying to get your apes back again

LCD Soundsystem played a Bored Ape Yacht Club party at Pier 17 yesterday: https://t.co/YbOsXPHUUI pic.twitter.com/qzmuYG3Aez

— BrooklynVegan (@brooklynvegan) June 21, 2022

https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2022-07-01/crypto-stock-meltdown-hits-rolex-patek-philippe-audemars-piguet-watches

Hard times for the ultimate signifier of being a douchebag

lol Tom Morello did a NFT drop last year

My Genesis NFT collection has provided an exciting way to bring to life the incredible Dungeons & Dragons characters I’ve been playing for years. THE ORDER OF KARROS is basically a supergroup of my entire history playing the game. pic.twitter.com/ggTW9sdRUT

— Tom Morello (@tmorello) September 17, 2021

Grift grift grift

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2022/jul/12/they-couldnt-even-scream-any-more-they-were-just-sobbing-the-amateur-investors-ruined-by-the-crypto-crash

It all started in February 2021, with a radio advert for Dogecoin, a cryptocurrency promoted by Elon Musk, the founder of Tesla. Intrigued, Roy started Googling, eventually using his credit card to make an initial investment of €2,500 (£2,200) in a range of cryptocurrencies. The value of Roy’s portfolio climbed to €8,000, then €100,000, then €525,000.

On one hand I get that these people had convinced themselves it was like investing in an index fund, retirement money, but it's hard to grasp holding a winning lottery ticket and not cashing it in. When Bitcoin was peaking I was 1% bummed that I'd used 5-6 (or more) bitcoins when they were under $1k in value - but I would have sold out long before hodling to $60k. (I guess I did, actually, I sold the one full leftover when it hit ~$2k, more than doubling my money.)

I can’t imagine getting a 250% return on a credit-based investment and not bailing but what do i know i only gamble with regular stonks

That article reminded of GT Advanced, which bubbled and burst a few years ago:
https://www.joshuakennon.com/gt-advanced-technologies-bankruptcy/

GT Advanced made solar panels, so they knew a bit about bonding glass to metal - Apple gave them a loan of something like $900m to develop sapphire glass for the next generation of iPhone, and the forthcoming Apple Watch. A lot of people on a forum called The Contrarian Investor put a tonne of cash into GT Advanced because great things were expected of it. But on the day that Apple announced the new iPhone (the 6?) there was no mention of sapphire glass, so the share price cratered. And a few weeks later the company declared bankruptcy because it had nothing coming in. Apple was its only potential customer, but Apple decided that sapphire glass wasn't worth the trouble.

And it all played out live, in real time, on the forum of the website:
https://web.archive.org/web/20141220201352/http://forum.thecontrarianinvestor.com/index.php?threads/gt-advanced-technologies-inc-gtat.69/page-499

Notice how towards the bottom of the page they realise that trading has halted, and then three pages later they realise the company has gone bankrupt. The initial reaction is "shut up, don't say that", but it gradually sinks in. Some of those people had put a small fortune into the stock and had already made a profit, because it seemed to be doing well. But they kept on because they wanted even more "and my friends on the internet said it was alright". At least one person invested their disabled child's school money and another invested a tonne of cash without telling his wife and kids.

If I had an investment that ballooned to over two hundred times its value I would sell it and never look at it ever again. I would not want to know what happened after I got rid of it.

Ah of course

BREAKING: Crypto lender Celsius files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy a month after freezing customer withdrawals, the latest casualty from the rout in cryptocurrencies https://t.co/PCi6CfpfjL pic.twitter.com/infYnkua5s

— Bloomberg Crypto (@crypto) July 14, 2022

We're freeing ourselves from the repression of FDIC insurance over our money

lol

An NFT is like being the Foursquare Mayor of a JPEG

— Don Marti (@dmarti) January 1, 2022

absolutely banging thread about practical applications of web3, every idea even better than the last

35 business ideas of how web3 could improve or disrupt the most successful companies:

— Tascha (@TaschaLabs) July 24, 2022

These need to be read in Patrick Bateman voice

Though I would like to rent out my Costco membership on a secondary market. Sounds worthwhile.

14. Starbucks

Allow customers to monetize their loyalty by earning Starbucks points in tradable token format. Customers can stake tokens to get tiered discounts in future.

I'll stick with my "buy ten get one free" punchcard, thanks.

The Costco one is the best, I'm sure they would greatly prefer someone else make the money on their memberships instead of them.