Real England

courtroom sketch artist adding Dan Dare eyebrows just unfortunately makes him look a bit like Gary Glitter

this one goes out to calz

pic.twitter.com/MZq3PhvVKu

— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) May 19, 2022

lol that story made all the national press, quite right as well.

he could have capitalised on his brief moment of fame, Gerald Stratford style .. cheers

a kid in my class was in the sheffield star because his dad grew bananas in their yard

Snuck past the cashier. pic.twitter.com/Ycqr80Gs5K

— Neil (@_Enanem_) May 20, 2022

somebody on my work slack just called somebody else a "dirty stop-out"!!

mere light-hearted banter

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/may/20/john-shuttleworth-gig-abandoned-in-derbyshire-after-man-falls-into-cavern

must be worth a new song

think you were missing a trick not to post that the place was called Devil's Arse tbh

come, friendly bombs

WWII veteran John Pearce is releasing a single to honour the Queen's Platinum Jubilee.

“She was a real inspiration during the war and has continued to lead by example."

Thank You Your Majesty is a reworking of Go West by The Village People.

📺 Freeview 237, Sky 526, Virgin 627 pic.twitter.com/ZHjqZn0qEX

— TalkTV (@TalkTV) May 20, 2022

"in british english, the primary meaning of to go west is to die; this phrase later came to also mean: – to be lost, to be destroyed; – to disappear, to vanish; – to end in failure, to come to grief"

nothing left but symptom: showing this to a stunned and for-once silent zizek

remind me not to retune my Freeview box

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FTX0Q5sXoAArEtK?format=jpg&name=900x900

oh, is there a new tindersticks album?

it's just a lesson in capturing form from Rembrandt that the courtroom sketch artist upthread could possibly learn from. And it just happens to look like Wazza.

Stoked for the madness.

We're doing so well over here, we're holding it togetherhttps://t.co/2BPaF9mio8

— Rebecca Wilks (@WilksBecca) May 26, 2022

Michael Buerk, once a presenter on BBC six o clock news, now reduced to hawking novelty coins. A tragic fall pic.twitter.com/W3u5EQig89

— Simon (@simonk_133) May 26, 2022

Britain unveiled its biggest ever coin to mark Queen Elizabeth's Platinum Jubilee https://t.co/lMBs6qU13K pic.twitter.com/hABULdwG0z

— Reuters (@Reuters) May 25, 2022

they forgot to add Buerk also shares presenting duties on The Moral Maze with Aaronovitch, which would be the worst program on R4 if not for their comedy dept.

Don't forget Great Lives, that's up there. Though I think for poison injected into British political media culture, nothing can really beat The Moral Maze.

The Royal Family, worth an estimated £72bn, won't pay the minimum wage for staff https://t.co/zhZEdIgSZi

— Tom Peters (@tbtpeters) May 26, 2022

That kind of thing is one reason they have so much money to be fair. Another involves shape-shifting.

Was gonna say that even for this psychotic country the dissonance of all this jubilee bollocks going on while everything just gets worse and worse is gonna be wild, but then I remembered all the 2012 shite happening within a year of riots

Silver Jubilee, 1981 Royal wedding... it's almost like these things get more hysterical and north korean the more society seems to be crumbling. I remember 2002 as being relatively muted tbh, that was pre-Iraq, high Blairism end of politics times.

the backdrop of the invention of monarchy as mass public spectacle back in the 1890s was a decade of social and political unrest in the UK and the wider empire -- so i'm not convinced this element has amped up really (i am convinced that the sense of collapse is far greater, as is the actual fact of brokenness)

I just read that book by Tom Nairn about all this.

i probably got my shtick from it lol

still think he shd have mentioned the pistols tho

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FTxkfZZWIAEsGwH?format=jpg&name=medium

haha nice

Love it.

I am at the Liverpool fan park in Paris, fans are chanting

"Phillip is dead.
The queen is senile,
And Andrew is a paedophile"

Just be thankful these scenes aren't during the Jubilee #RowntreeInParis #ChampionsLeagueFinal

— Simon Rowntree (@SimonRowntreeUK) May 28, 2022

thats real

Man they're gonna end up my second team at this rate

wins - pray it is.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FTyOzq4XEAAGPko?format=jpg&name=900x900

Real Harrogate

Tom Hark is the only tune i can fit that to lol

A very Real England life:

"As Piggott entered his ninth decade there were calls from some in the racing fraternity not only for the restoration of his OBE, but for him to be knighted. Though neither of those things happened, at the 2017 Royal Ascot meeting there was a warm greeting from the Queen which suggested that she had, personally at least, forgiven him.

In 2012, Piggott left the marital home to live with Barbara FitzGerald in Geneva, an arrangement to which his wife gave her public blessing."

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2022/may/29/lester-piggott-obituary

when I read on the RIP thread that he was someone's personal hero I was remembering reading that he was one of the most miserly, mean-spirited and outright horrible people in the world of flat racing, and that is something!

Yes!!

Our spellbinding homage to Her Majesty The #Queen! 👑
We've projected eight portraits of Queen Elizabeth II onto Stonehenge in celebration of the #PlatinumJubilee. pic.twitter.com/vn5vkGHJGt

— Stonehenge (@EH_Stonehenge) May 30, 2022

hahahaha

The stones have since come alive. That distant rumble is them coming for us...

it looks like the eight queens are about to do a hunger games

Ross Kemp just said the Queen ‘is a very beautiful lady’ on GMB.

— Healosh (@Healosh) May 30, 2022

pennies, coins, dosh, quids…whatever you call ‘em, bet you ain’t got one like this. God Save The Queen Commemorative Coin* + bonus NFT, available from The Pistol Mint now – get yours. [1/3] pic.twitter.com/0ytCZh6wmT

— Sex Pistols Official (@sexpistols) May 30, 2022

our figurehead!
is not what she seems!

Our spellbinding homage to Her Majesty The #Queen! 👑
We've carved Queen Elizabeth II onto the Cerne Abbas Giant celebration of the #PlatinumJubilee. pic.twitter.com/BOdbiar7Cx

— UK Tourism (@UKToryism) May 30, 2022

Its only Monday.