kendrick lamar - mr. morale & the big steppers (2022)

I’m still stuck on Rich Spirit. Bumps like a Too Short song

i don't really get a strong sense that he does fully 'get it' from the song, especially with stuff like deadnaming caitlyn jenner which isn't even really relevant to the storytelling & the very inconsistent pronouns for his uncle - there's not the same past/present distinction that mary-ann gets, it just feels muddled to me. he's well-meaning and clearly trying to be supportive and i do appreciate that he is trying but that doesn't mean i have to be grateful for the end result or think it's good art, i'm not really a huge fan of someone cis weighing in in this muddled way. in terms of impact i think it's pretty mixed - sure i hope the message reaches people but you also see a bunch of cis/straight people totally baffled that anyone queer could not love it and getting extremely defensive, bc he's well-meaning you see.

& idk that's reading a lot into that one line about him seeing the signs with his cousin. if anything to me it's still reinforcing the 'signs'/'proof' narrative bc his cousin's transition made sense to him because he did see signs even if others didn't - i'd personally reject the whole idea of of there needing to be signs at all.

― ufo

that's one of the things that's most interesting to me about "auntie diaries", yeah, i don't know for sure that he "gets it". it is messy, it is ambiguous, it is inconsistent, and it's all these things in a way that feels true to the way cis people experience my gender transition, the way in some senses i have experienced my own gender. he's inconsistent in a way that people are in _person_ with me, but he's not freestyling this, he _wrote_ these lyrics. the sense i get from _mr. morale_ is that it's a _meticulous_ album, a _deliberate_ album.

one of the things i struggle with is the question of how _much_ to show my own ass, talking about this stuff. because of the hyper-judgemental climate around these things. becuse it's normal and typical for popular and respected left trans twitter people to just blithely say that trans people who are offended by lamar saying "faggot faggot faggot" are "tenderqueers" and probably racist. because whenever the Discourse starts up around trans people somehow trans folks wind up being carrying the most hot allostatic load. something is really wrong here, something is really fucking wrong, and it's not any of _us_.

i think i will, in fact, show my ass here. this isn't the Dearborn Birdsite, it's a message board for a smattering of middle-aged trauma-informed mostly queer music nerds, and this week i'm really leaning into the "poor life decisions" thing.

i was driving a few weeks ago down a busy suburban thoroughfare near my home and some jerk cut me off. I muttered "fucking faggot" under my breath - i think the car had all kinds of rainbow shit and furry trash on the back. it took a couple seconds and i remembered that i had a trans flag sticker on my own bumper, and i remember literally saying aloud "wait a second, _i'm_ a fucking faggot!" and laughing. the idea hadn't occurred to me before. like lamar says about his "auntie", he wasn't gay, he ate pussy. growing up i fucking wished i could be gay, i wished it could be that easy. we, not he, we didn't know any better.

this cis people want me to justify it, want me to say "oh i always knew", but i didn't, a lot of us didn't. i gotta pretend like i don't still wonder, sometimes, "yeah, but am i _really_ trans?", can't be vulnerable, can't be weak, can't be a fucking _tenderqueer_ even though, like a lot of us, i'm basically a big fucking wad of trauma, because if i do, the assholes who made me this way, the assholes who, like my friend just wrote to her (should i mention that i wrote "his" and backspaced over it?) mom, "wield a dagger and name it love", will fucking eat us alive.

one of the most important experiences of my coming out, of my coming to understand myself, was seeing my own experiences reflected in others. of hearing people talk about things i'd been too ashamed to tell anybody, hearing them talk about it openly and being amazed, because i thought it was just me. that's what i get from hearing lamar say "faggot faggot faggot". are you going to learn anything about being trans from kendrick lamar? hell no. lamar doesn't know shit about being trans. he grieves _different_ from us. that's fine, we all got our own voices. maybe you hear it from ethel cain, maybe you hear it from tami t, maybe you hear it from... you know. there's a lot of us.

maybe i'm hearing what i want to hear in "auntie diaries", just like the people who tell us "there were no signs" are seeing what they want to see. i just... i need to hear that so fucking much right now, you know? if i have to pretend lamar _gets it_, if i have to lie to myself to get through the rest of this week, you know, i'll fucking do that. i made my peace with that hears ago. whatever i need to do to survive. no guilt. no shame.

My new favorite thread. Thanks, Kate.

more i read kate's posts, more i like the song.

obviously identify with it from one of the other sides. i knew i wasn't gay but i definitely wasn't sure i liked girls either. i liked slow jams, not all that rah rah shit. but the word still got used growing up. a lot. an ongoing theme in kendrick's music: you did it to fit in, not because you wanted to. i'm not ashamed to admit that because of my mental health issues, i have voices that use extremely offensive language in my head, constantly. at some point, it stops becoming about attacking someone because of who they might be and starts to become a form of establishing dominance.

(reminded here of the outstanding byron hurt doc hiphop: beyond beats and rhymes from maybe late 2000s? he talks about how it became more of a casual thing by using it / other lgbtq+ slurs interchangeably with "bitch." that becomes "bitch n___" and "bitch ass n___" and yeah. breaks it tf down. busta rhymes walks out of his interview. talks to gay rappers. interviews trans woman at a hiphop festival. makes a lot of people uncomfortable. highly recommended.)

was outside last night, doing the most middle aged white man thing to do on a friday evening: smoking a bowl and watching the sunset while listening to the new album. a group of teenage boys drove past, blaring "united in grief" and they were into it; waving their arms around, bobbing their heads out the window, being kids. i laughed and waved peace to them and my mind immediately went to that moment when they would hear that song.

i wish i had someone like kendrick at that age. instead i had common talkin`bout "in a circle of f___s yo name is mentioned!" just repeating the cycle.

i wish i had someone like kendrick at that age. instead i had common talkin`bout "in a circle of f___s yo name is mentioned!" just repeating the cycle.

Remember when there was repeated/constant discussion in the hip-hop press about The Gay Rapper? Like, there was a rumor there was one? I can't even remember who all was suspected of being The Gay Rapper (Q-Tip was mentioned for sure).

It's very interesting to observe the simultaneous "this is so much better than it was when I was a teenager" and "NOT GOOD ENOUGH" discourse taking place in so many different areas these days.

oh god the gay rapper! i just remember thinking "who cares i wanna hear the gay rapper's response record you he got dirty laundry on everybody"

byron hurt doc was 2006 watch it.

I wanted to wait a week for the fervor to die down, but my son insists I hear this now, so -

also thank you everyone for answering my initial question. this is exactly why i asked. i need to hear all perspectives. just because i am more in step with the narrator's pov in this scenario doesn't mean it's the most productive.

I’ve read some people justifying the improper pronouns he uses throughout the song as something usual in his style, where he writes from different povs and different timelines, and as he starts growing and learning his modern perspective starts using proper pronouns and understanding the f-word is not for him to use.

It’s still very messy and inconsistent, reading Kate’s and ufo’s pov is very enlightening for me.

yes, thanks for these insights, much better here than the kneejerk shit I read on twitter

thats kind of how i hear the pronouns thing, him speaking in character as someone who is having a series of realizations, not speaking with wisdom from the present but as an imperfect character within the story in the past. but idk, i could be being overly generous so i dont have to be bummed about it.

I agree with OEO’s take on it.

"n95" video.

Popping in to say “Crown” is quietly stunning

thats a wow video

Quality video as usual with him.

I think someone upthread (or was it an article?) mentioned there’s no discernable radio singles but “Rich Spirit” is super addictive.

“rich spirit” is probably the song on here that most resembles/is most influenced by current sounds in l.a. street rap

it's the album highlight for me.

X2

rhetorical question: is this what we meant when we used to say "keep it real"?

Heard it, still processing the words, but the production and beats are probably my favorite so far. This run he's on is pretty incredible - I am already on the side of this being a career highlight, but that just puts it on similar terrain as everything post Section.80

Duval Timothy is to MMATBS as Thundercat was on TPAB, right?

Can we have a version of "Purple Hearts" with only Ghostface

i think "purple hearts" as a whole is one of the highlights

otm. i was so happy when ghostface showed up

Summer Walker softens the track way too much for my taste.

"purple hearts" is good. feels like a classic "chipmunk soul" beat. definitely caters to vintage ghostface / wu-tang aesthetic.

also it can be added to everyone's favorite new playlist: songs that mention anilingus.

and Elohim.

Ok “Die Hard” also has hit single potential.

yep if there's any mainstream hits from this album, it's that or "mirror."

“n95” will likely have the highest chart peak, considering that video just came out

bizarro world chart action.

re: cry together
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNpO4V57pWM

I feel like that song has a lot of antecedents in hip-hop but most reviews have acted like it's a skit

If this album had been the first three tracks, We Cry Together and the last four tracks it would have been so good. Maybe throw in one or two of the others from the middle. The big event tracks stand out so much from the others though imo

Both in terms of compelling lyrics and production

i straight up removed We Cry Together and Crown from my playlist

by far the worst thing on this album are the citations of that fraud Tolle

yeah those bits are pretty dumb

at least it wasn't Jordan Peterson

"We Cry Together" is the only misfire for me, everything else is interesting in some way. I couldn't recall many of the hooks yet, and I doubt I'll ultimately think this album as good as GKMC or Butterfly, but it has the same compelling quality those albums had. Need to listen more

we cry together is good imho

it, auntie diaries, mother i sober and mirror are the best things on here imo

purple hearts >>>

starting to come around on some of the ones i wasn't crazy about the first listen, like "savior" and "crown." "auntie diaries" and "worldwide steppers" are the only ones i'm still not feeling.

I love worldwide steppers now and auntie diaries might have been my favorite song first pass.

"It ain't love if you never eat my ass" that line still fucking keels me over when I hear it on Purple Hearts though lol

I’ve been listening to the album 4 or 5 song increments and “Crown” really jumped out at me when I listened this way. Easy to get lost amidst the bigger tracks but it’s become maybe my favorite thing here

That's how I've absorbed it too

We cry together is by far the worst thing on it, and for me will be skipped every time just like For Free was.

Tickets for the tour went on sale today. Barclays got cleaned out fast, wound up settling for the Long Island show, which was far easier to get into. Plenty of good seats available too.