NFTs (thread now extremely NSFW)

Madonna's pap smear, NFT edition

An NFT of the green Fetalini striped short-sleeve sweater that Cobain wore in the video is also up for auction, with an estimated value of $6,000 to $8,000. The auction house said Kurt gave the actual sweater to his mother.

oh brother, gimme a break

Let’s see, if Jack’s first tweet ended up being valued at $85, or wherever they landed, and we can all agree that Kurt Cobain’s sweater is at least one thousand times more interesting and valuable than anything to do with Jack and his first tweet, that does put the estimate value at around $85K, so this will probably be a worthwhile investment

how do you dry clean a NFT though

You know the washing machine cover, sonic youth? It’s still available...

I didn’t read this or anything but such a perfect headline

https://www.iflscience.com/technology/vastly-uneven-ratio-of-men-to-women-shuts-down-bored-ape-nft-dating-app/

i also saw that gamestop, as a company, is getting down with NFTs now (https://kotaku.com/gamestop-nft-crypto-blockchain-bitcoin-marketplace-meme-1848952829) and it reminded me of that whole thing with gamestop last year, which i tried to ignore but happened in the background and seemed to be all about people investing in gamestop even though it sucked, just to demonstrate that a large group of grunting people with too much money can make the world change (?) and it made me wonder, did the investbros end up buying out gamestop or something? or did gamestop leadership realize that their one, baffling group of supporters were these people who had so much extra money that they decided to throw it all on a dying gameseller? is this gamestop catering to their group of mouths that move in the same direction while having too much money?

we're in a recession pic.twitter.com/v26Em0RfB1

— nerve stapler (@gun_toucher) May 21, 2022

A corollary of sorts to the collapse of the Bored Ape dating club.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quqxaIpgKbA

oh nice, finally someone found a legitimate use case for NFTs!

Hotels are adopting an NFT-based system, in which stays are converted to NFTs, which the customer must sell to someone else if they decide to cancel.

The system benefits hotels—who don't have to refund cancellations—by putting the onus on customers. https://t.co/i5PG46VwaS

— maxwell (@maxwellstrachan) May 24, 2022

(i've been doomsaying this for what feels like centuries now - this shit is not something that stays limited to cryptobros - it sucks badly because they are trying to _integrate_ it into the rest of our lives. it's an NFT today, it's whatever tomorrow, but the basic idea is that anything and everything in your life is an object that has value and must be commodified, whether you want that or not

i am ex-christian but i think this is what happened when spirituality, faith, and real community are gradually removed from life, and replaced with only capitalism. this is complete emptiness

yeah, I showed up for a Covid test and the woman at the door points to a poster and tells me to scan the QR Code, and I thought "Oh, now I understand all that Barcode/Mark of the Beast bullshit."

Assuming everyone has smartphones is a sucky thing lately.

Hotels are adopting an NFT-based system, in which stays are converted to NFTs, which the customer must sell to someone else if they decide to cancel.

So just a game of hot potato like all other NFT schemes... cool

thank you for making a reservation at our esteemed hotel.

here is your turd. you may trade it with anyone except for us

*makes a gigantic, pointless, energy-intensive calculation in order to prove its a turd*

and remember - please save the environment by letting our staff know if you don't need your linen and towels washed.

*SOUL CRUSHING EMPTY SMILE AS THEY RUN YOUR CREDIT CARD*

"Hotel guests can reserve rooms at those properties by buying NFTs through [redacted]. By using this system, guests marks can book a room at a discount to what the hotel would charge for a refundable reservation."

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/sarahemerson/seth-green-bored-ape-stolen-tv-show

approve of this theft

So VeeCon is literally all about this one asshole?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGnNE79FPlw

if you want to know just how much of an asshole he is, there's a munecat youtube video on him. includes a song.

Two good responses by Australians who don't suck.

Also not possible for the AEC to implement blockchain voting because they haven’t all had lobotomies. The final safeguard.

— Mark Newton (@NewtonMark) April 29, 2022

https://nilamox.com/i-will-not-sell-nfts-or-use-crypto-currencies/

Urgh. This one

Our perspective as non-ICT experts on social media is that it appears to be a technology designed to facilitate the theft of pictures of monkeys. Not sure how it would be relevant from an electoral standpoint.

— AEC ✏️ (@AusElectoralCom) April 29, 2022

A @YahooSports’ @TheBig3 report: League to allow fans ownership access to all 12 teams through NFTs https://t.co/2jq2zoA08J

— Chris Haynes (@ChrisBHaynes) June 3, 2022

Imma going to pass on this one.

Benefits of owning a FEAT include: selecting which team to purchase; highlights and more will be available license-free; a chance to receive a championship ring if your team wins the title; and more.

whoa, nice!!!!!!

big3 if true

Another smash success

🚨BREAKING: Bored Ape Yacht Club and Otherside Metaverse Discord servers have been hacked. Millions worth of #NFTs reportedly stolen.

— Watcher.Guru (@WatcherGuru) June 4, 2022

“Millions’ worth…wait…thousands’ worth…wait I’m just being updated again, hundreds of pennies’ worth of NFTs stolen today”.

How will this affect the world slurp juice supply?

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/58b397116b8f5b2e7cca7713/1548183135516-782F3IUGRHD4U5DWGERN/0000.jpg?format=750w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtLWbrOircQ

information monke wants to be free

I have no idea what that video is but I can't think of a less clickable thumbnail.

Lol just click it

I clicked it and I have no idea why you said to

its the Halo announcer. people pay him to say stuff. i dunno, it's funny

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game.

You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your buddy from school has spent the last 2 years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian ore into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last weeks.

It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you hop into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now.

You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better.

All members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor.

Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence.

The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic.

In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel.

Life is good.

#blockchaingaming

its the Halo announcer. people pay him to say stuff. i dunno, it's funny

I don’t know what sport or stadium or wrestling organization or w/e Halo is!

Does Michael Buffer do Cameo? I could go for "Bored Apes Stolen" in the style of LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUMBLE!

lmfao

https://archive.ph/2022.06.01-152901/https://www.ft.com/content/610e111e-71a2-4182-ad30-da49530a12f6

Bottoms up

users’ wallets (aka “Souls”)

trenchant af

Imagine a world where...

This is an infallible marker of the utopian style. It is also framed as a command, which marks it as a sales pitch.

The perfect tweet

Anna Sorokin, known for taking hundreds of thousands of dollars from friends and businesses while posing as a German heiress, says she's trying to move away from the "scammer persona" and plans to launch a collection of NFTs. https://t.co/k4XzaoK2qO

— NBC News (@NBCNews) June 16, 2022

this is a test conducted by aliens to identify who the earthlings are that will believe absolutely anything

After the apparently genuine tulip bulb NFTs and Ponzi NFTs there is nothing left to parody here

xp
They sure run that test a lot.

Read that as Aaron Sorkin, the West Wing guy and thought sure, he seems like the scammer type who would do a douchey NFT