NFTs (thread now extremely NSFW)

‘DC Draino’ Rogan O’Handley Left A Lucrative Legal Career To Fight For Trump On Social Media

BJ Baldwin was a '70s gay porn pioneer IIRC, his pubes were trimmed to match the curve of his 'stache.

"Blue Chip NFT Collections"

every one is generatively unique

https://i.imgur.com/EaScMJb.jpg

this madonna x beeple garbage, at first i was like “lol, typical” and moved on with my life, but no, it sank its hooks into me. congratulation you turds, i’m engaged despite myself.

fuck this so much. a grift is a grift; fine, whatever, it’s [current year] so what else would you expect. but they’re dressing up this foul nonsense in perfectly unimpeachable charity clothes, and oh look here’s madonna’s avatar giving birth to a tree.

they give so huge a shit about these charities, auction off something real, sacrifice something of actual value, of any value whatsoever, not this gateway to/support of the crypto-scamosphere, which, hello again, madonna’s avatar giving birth to a tree, you’re gonna have to pump out a few billion more of those to offset the environmental wreckage caused by luring more marks onto the blockchain, goddamnit it’s so contradictory & incoherent it’s practically a koan, a singularity of assholish stupidity sucking in my brain and turning it into spaghetti, PLUS!

oh it’s a celebration of motherhood, so powerful and mystical — really? really???? right now, right at this exact time, “yay the power of giving birth” READ THE FUCKING ROOM AND ALSO GARGLE A BAG OF DICKS

reminds me of all the corporate "charity" ads that you see during any sports game. "if they hit a home run in the 6th inning, Hyundai will donate $1000 to the make a wish foundation!!!", knowing that over 162 games that will happen a very, very predictable amount of times, and that they could just fork over the money (and get their tax deduction, which no one i know makes enough money to be able to claim, which makes charity a project of the rich) ahead of time without having to demand that it be an advertisement for themselves which highlights how charitable they are, 162 different times every year

hi jeremy, i love you and i'm sorry you're dying of cancer. we could help make your dreams come true before you die, but there's gotta be a little something in it for me too, ok? so we need dylan carlson to hit a big fly here, ok? ooooooh...dylan wasn't able to do it today. dylan is very selfish"

somehow tying this back to madonna, beeple and nfts, i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'd muuuuuuuuch rather prefer that they just be straightforward that it's all about money, and that art is an afterthought. same with hyundai -- i get that you're a company that wants to make a bunch of money. "money: it's the thing you need to live! and it's the ONLY reason to live!" just make an ad like that, i'd respect them so much more

brutal

Do you own that monkey picture?

— Ryanair (@Ryanair) May 13, 2022

Madonna's pap smear, NFT edition

An NFT of the green Fetalini striped short-sleeve sweater that Cobain wore in the video is also up for auction, with an estimated value of $6,000 to $8,000. The auction house said Kurt gave the actual sweater to his mother.

oh brother, gimme a break

Let’s see, if Jack’s first tweet ended up being valued at $85, or wherever they landed, and we can all agree that Kurt Cobain’s sweater is at least one thousand times more interesting and valuable than anything to do with Jack and his first tweet, that does put the estimate value at around $85K, so this will probably be a worthwhile investment

how do you dry clean a NFT though

You know the washing machine cover, sonic youth? It’s still available...

I didn’t read this or anything but such a perfect headline

https://www.iflscience.com/technology/vastly-uneven-ratio-of-men-to-women-shuts-down-bored-ape-nft-dating-app/

i also saw that gamestop, as a company, is getting down with NFTs now (https://kotaku.com/gamestop-nft-crypto-blockchain-bitcoin-marketplace-meme-1848952829) and it reminded me of that whole thing with gamestop last year, which i tried to ignore but happened in the background and seemed to be all about people investing in gamestop even though it sucked, just to demonstrate that a large group of grunting people with too much money can make the world change (?) and it made me wonder, did the investbros end up buying out gamestop or something? or did gamestop leadership realize that their one, baffling group of supporters were these people who had so much extra money that they decided to throw it all on a dying gameseller? is this gamestop catering to their group of mouths that move in the same direction while having too much money?

we're in a recession pic.twitter.com/v26Em0RfB1

— nerve stapler (@gun_toucher) May 21, 2022

A corollary of sorts to the collapse of the Bored Ape dating club.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quqxaIpgKbA

oh nice, finally someone found a legitimate use case for NFTs!

Hotels are adopting an NFT-based system, in which stays are converted to NFTs, which the customer must sell to someone else if they decide to cancel.

The system benefits hotels—who don't have to refund cancellations—by putting the onus on customers. https://t.co/i5PG46VwaS

— maxwell (@maxwellstrachan) May 24, 2022

(i've been doomsaying this for what feels like centuries now - this shit is not something that stays limited to cryptobros - it sucks badly because they are trying to _integrate_ it into the rest of our lives. it's an NFT today, it's whatever tomorrow, but the basic idea is that anything and everything in your life is an object that has value and must be commodified, whether you want that or not

i am ex-christian but i think this is what happened when spirituality, faith, and real community are gradually removed from life, and replaced with only capitalism. this is complete emptiness

yeah, I showed up for a Covid test and the woman at the door points to a poster and tells me to scan the QR Code, and I thought "Oh, now I understand all that Barcode/Mark of the Beast bullshit."

Assuming everyone has smartphones is a sucky thing lately.

Hotels are adopting an NFT-based system, in which stays are converted to NFTs, which the customer must sell to someone else if they decide to cancel.

So just a game of hot potato like all other NFT schemes... cool

thank you for making a reservation at our esteemed hotel.

here is your turd. you may trade it with anyone except for us

*makes a gigantic, pointless, energy-intensive calculation in order to prove its a turd*

and remember - please save the environment by letting our staff know if you don't need your linen and towels washed.

*SOUL CRUSHING EMPTY SMILE AS THEY RUN YOUR CREDIT CARD*

"Hotel guests can reserve rooms at those properties by buying NFTs through [redacted]. By using this system, guests marks can book a room at a discount to what the hotel would charge for a refundable reservation."

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/sarahemerson/seth-green-bored-ape-stolen-tv-show

approve of this theft

So VeeCon is literally all about this one asshole?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGnNE79FPlw

if you want to know just how much of an asshole he is, there's a munecat youtube video on him. includes a song.

Two good responses by Australians who don't suck.

Also not possible for the AEC to implement blockchain voting because they haven’t all had lobotomies. The final safeguard.

— Mark Newton (@NewtonMark) April 29, 2022

https://nilamox.com/i-will-not-sell-nfts-or-use-crypto-currencies/

Urgh. This one

Our perspective as non-ICT experts on social media is that it appears to be a technology designed to facilitate the theft of pictures of monkeys. Not sure how it would be relevant from an electoral standpoint.

— AEC ✏️ (@AusElectoralCom) April 29, 2022

A @YahooSports’ @TheBig3 report: League to allow fans ownership access to all 12 teams through NFTs https://t.co/2jq2zoA08J

— Chris Haynes (@ChrisBHaynes) June 3, 2022

Imma going to pass on this one.

Benefits of owning a FEAT include: selecting which team to purchase; highlights and more will be available license-free; a chance to receive a championship ring if your team wins the title; and more.

whoa, nice!!!!!!

big3 if true

Another smash success

🚨BREAKING: Bored Ape Yacht Club and Otherside Metaverse Discord servers have been hacked. Millions worth of #NFTs reportedly stolen.

— Watcher.Guru (@WatcherGuru) June 4, 2022

“Millions’ worth…wait…thousands’ worth…wait I’m just being updated again, hundreds of pennies’ worth of NFTs stolen today”.

How will this affect the world slurp juice supply?

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/58b397116b8f5b2e7cca7713/1548183135516-782F3IUGRHD4U5DWGERN/0000.jpg?format=750w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtLWbrOircQ

information monke wants to be free

I have no idea what that video is but I can't think of a less clickable thumbnail.

Lol just click it

I clicked it and I have no idea why you said to

its the Halo announcer. people pay him to say stuff. i dunno, it's funny

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game.

You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your buddy from school has spent the last 2 years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian ore into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last weeks.

It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you hop into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now.

You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better.

All members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor.

Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence.

The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic.

In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel.

Life is good.

#blockchaingaming

its the Halo announcer. people pay him to say stuff. i dunno, it's funny

I don’t know what sport or stadium or wrestling organization or w/e Halo is!

Does Michael Buffer do Cameo? I could go for "Bored Apes Stolen" in the style of LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUMBLE!

lmfao

https://archive.ph/2022.06.01-152901/https://www.ft.com/content/610e111e-71a2-4182-ad30-da49530a12f6