your terrible ideas

like did you spend two weeks not realizing the reason they’d put caffeine in without looking it up or

tbf the product called “excedrin” has been a standard in the US forever, that combination, get your paracetamol fix on quick

I can bring water to a boil more quickly if I use multiple pots and kettles with smaller amounts of water in them and then combine all the boiled waters at the end

Sell sets of 4 mini-kettles that each hold 1/4 of the water you need. Would be perfect for a conventional stovetop

Boogie Nights but it's Ryan's World

uh tbc I'm not talking about the porn industry mixed with children. In this case, dirk is a terrible dad whose "gift" is his son, so he produces low quality videos of him opening toys.

^^
Perfect tag line for the movie poster

exploitation, hubris, tragedy, a man adjusting the lighting above a tonka truck, complaining about "tough shadows"

I can bring water to a boil more quickly if I use multiple pots and kettles with smaller amounts of water in them and then combine all the boiled waters at the end

I do this all the time, so I don't think it's a terrible idea. Though I only use two vessels, the actual pot to be used plus a kettle.

:) i did use two last night, for the first time. felt a little silly but immediately was eyeing those other 2 empty burners

if i had a ton of money, i'd see how far i could push that. imagine 32 burners with half an ounce of water on each one. or 64 burners, each with a little pvc drip feed to supply the drips of water to each tiny kettle. some sort of system to turn all the burners on at once, and then, just a few seconds later, tip them down into the waiting coffee reservoir

you need an incredibly hot metal rod next to the stove that you can stick in a single large pot, causing it to instantly boil. do not touch or drop the incredibly hot metal rod.

i love how terrible this idea is getting

what about 64 incredibly hot metal rod, grooved, tilted down (using the power of _gravity_, thank you mother nature). it only takes each of the tiny water sources about 2-3 seconds to slide down the hot metal, but during that time it goes from room temperature to boiling

oh, and not only that, but the excess steam is collected and helps to warm the buns

Maybe you can find a blacksmith in need of forging space? You could make money boiling your water.

put me in coach

what would be amazing is if the steam could be used to heat the next set of 64 incredibly hot metal rods. a "perpetual energy device", if you will

of course, you'd have to arrange the morning routines with the neighborhood ahead of time. the old-timers would kick off the coffee process at around 4 am, make their way up and down the block, and then by the time i get up around 9:15-10am, that recycled steam is just about to get to my place, nice

Karl, I am pretty sure there are aspects of distillation and saltmaking that are done precisely that way (individual modules, each of whose whose heat powers the next one). Not quite perpetual but definitely similar

a toilet that recycles your poos and makes a healthy smoothie out of it

Fuck yes

Ye Mad, that makes me feel good, but I can’t help but feel the next terrible step is to take it to the community coffee level

isn't salt made with an electric current or something

how about an auto-generated thread or feed that is just made up of twitter links that people post on ILX in real time. so i can just read twitter through ILX's eyes and never have to post or interact

on ILX or on twitter, to be clear

a toilet that recycles your poos and makes a healthy smoothie out of it

― Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Thursday, May 12, 2022 10:04 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Hungry? Perhaps you'd like a POOP BURGER

I updated the Wikipedia article for "poop" with all of the details from the article DJP posted, but they took all of it out cos it turned out to be fake lol

xp wow my posts on that thread sure are terrible. Co-incidentally, because I thought of this earlier this afternoon before reading the updates to this thread...

A really bad Kaiser Chiefs tribute band from Germany, called the Schiesse Chiefs.

A big box store called The Ham Depot where they only sell ham

Home Depot doesn't sell homes????

What a terrible idea.

Talking about Home Depot, not you Chinchilla.

No. If you need homes, you go to Toll Brothers.

And if you need Wals to build those homes, you go to Wal-Mart.

And if you need fresh, fragrant cookies to make those houses into homes, you go to Toll House.

sears used to sell homes
in an earlier time, i bet the home depot really would have sold homes

let's face it: we all love going to home depot

I just go for the music.

Home Depot absolutely sells homes, but there may be some assembly required

germ gems, jewelry shaped like germs

what about a dispensary called "home de pot"

or POT DEPOT

has there been a weed kingpin called the pot despot? if not i may have to claim the title for myself. except i don’t smoke or anything. perhaps i should take up pottery and throw down with forks (lol get it, throw, like pottery) for the title of ilx’s pot despot. except fuck fucking with clay, my hands are dry enough already. i guess forks wins this round. get it, round, like a pot?

this post has been brought to you by a series of terrible ideas.

An action film, but arty/snobby, so instead of lots of explosions you get lots of implosions.

That’s just Magnolia

has there been a weed kingpin called the pot despot?

There was Pol Pot.

A remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre as a period piece set in the 19th century; instead of a chainsaw, Leatherface runs around with a hacksaw making "VRR, VRR" noises.

... or perhaps he and his brother each hold either end of a two-man saw.

A noodle bar where they play loud drum & bass music all the time, called "Ramen Break"

in middle school our 7th grade teacher wanted us to do a report on the Israel-Palestine conflict.

my original idea was going to be taking the song "River of Dreams" and doing a Weird Al parody that went

In the middle eaaaaast
they were fightin' over there

and all of the lyrics were about the conflict.

I showed what I wrote to my brother and he said "that's really stupid", so I scrapped it.

a year later I tried to do another Weird Al type parody of Stone Temple Pilots "Sex Type Thing" called "Food Type Thing" and I just found a copy of the file today, and it went...

"I am, I am, I am
I said a want a double whopper please
I want a double whopper without cheese
you wouldn't want me go to Mickey D's
Mickey D's

I know I want a Number 9
I know I"d like a Number 9
I know the Whopper comes with fries
I know I know I know"

brother also said that was stupid....so I stopped

seems your brother fears losing you to monumental success

In 8th Grade History I did a song about Mohammed to the tune of “Mother by Pink Floyd”

Mohammed do you think they’ll write the Koran
Mohammed do you think you should start Islam

Something like that

I want to see a line of novelty t-shirts in the vein of the "big johnson" ones called "BALLS OUT" that are absolutely literal with no innuendo or double entrendre whatsoever.

So the shirt on display at whatever the current equivalent of Spencer Gifts will say something like "BALLS OUT YOGA" with a somewhat realistic drawing - in the style of, say, Dave Berg or Mort Drucker" - of a guy doing yoga with his scrotum accidentally dangling out. No one in the drawings will be reacting in any way to the situation.