your terrible ideas

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lol, that just put the image into my head of Bryan Cranston standing over a man bleaeing from a gunshot wound to the leg and gruffly saying "I need a verb."

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Saturday, 23 April 2022 17:51 (two years ago) link

Bojack Horseman did a plot like that in one of the later seasons, with a big feud between 2 guys who wrote jokes to go on popsicle sticks

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Saturday, 23 April 2022 19:26 (two years ago) link

A Weekend at Bernie’s prequel. Tragic character study of a man’s life, Citizen Kane style, that chronicles Bernie from an innocent youth, through his early successes as a well-meaning young businessman, and finally his gradual deterioration of moral center and corruption by power that lead to his ultimate demise at the hands of the mob. He’s comatose but alive when the pair of yuppies he had plans on hoist him onto a couch and the partying begins. His supposed friends rifle through his pockets for drugs and dance around him as a Rosebud recollection of lost innocence and lost love flickers internally until his heart finally gives in and he dies unnoticed.

circa1916, Sunday, 24 April 2022 23:26 (two years ago) link

amazinc

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 24 April 2022 23:50 (two years ago) link

G

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 24 April 2022 23:50 (two years ago) link

A+

H.R. MacGufnstuf (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 25 April 2022 10:17 (two years ago) link

TV show presented by Abby Elliott called 'Saturday Night Live jr.' in which the children of former SNL cast-members audition for SNL and put on skits together, one is eliminated each week, the winner gets to be a featured player on the next series of SNL

soref, Tuesday, 26 April 2022 12:05 (two years ago) link

^ not at all terrible

Fifty Centaur (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 26 April 2022 15:58 (two years ago) link

Not my terrible idea but an actual terrible idea someone else has foisted upon the world or at least the South East of England. I was in Sainsbury's yesterday and bought some paracetamol. This afternoon at work I had a headache and took a couple. However just before doing so I noticed that 'Each tablet contains: Paracetamol 500mg, Caffeine 65mg". So each standard dose of two tablets has more caffeine than a medium sized can of Red Bull. But I had a headache and nothing else was available so I took them anyway. Whose brilliant idea was this?

colleague: "Paracetamol in the conference room!"
snoball: "I'd like to swallow some of that! Namely 2 x tablets containing 500mg of paracetamol each as I have a headache and that's the recommended dose also I shouldn't have shouted just then should I because I have a headache right?"

snoball goes down to the conference room, sees it's paracetamol tablets with caffeine not just regular paracetamol tablets...

snoball: "RAARARAGGRR!!!" *Hulks out in caffeine induced rage*

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Thursday, 28 April 2022 18:14 (two years ago) link

a website like twitter where every post is just replaced with pics of dog turds and it's called Shitter.

and once it goes live, Twitter is shut down permanently and redirects to this site.

Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Thursday, 28 April 2022 19:07 (two years ago) link

Probably less terrible than whatever Elon has planned...

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Thursday, 28 April 2022 19:49 (two years ago) link

OK so according to a colleague at work, the reason for caffiene in paracetamol tablets is to speed up the absorbtion of the paracetamol into the bloodstream.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Thursday, 5 May 2022 20:30 (two years ago) link

Paracetamol: "caffiene in the conference room!"
snoball's bloodstream: "I'd like to absorb some of that!"

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 6 May 2022 02:05 (two years ago) link

like did you spend two weeks not realizing the reason they’d put caffeine in without looking it up or

mh, Friday, 6 May 2022 03:05 (two years ago) link

tbf the product called “excedrin” has been a standard in the US forever, that combination, get your paracetamol fix on quick

mh, Friday, 6 May 2022 03:07 (two years ago) link

I can bring water to a boil more quickly if I use multiple pots and kettles with smaller amounts of water in them and then combine all the boiled waters at the end

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 05:01 (two years ago) link

Sell sets of 4 mini-kettles that each hold 1/4 of the water you need. Would be perfect for a conventional stovetop

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 05:02 (two years ago) link

Boogie Nights but it's Ryan's World

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 12 May 2022 14:18 (two years ago) link

uh tbc I'm not talking about the porn industry mixed with children. In this case, dirk is a terrible dad whose "gift" is his son, so he produces low quality videos of him opening toys.

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 12 May 2022 17:32 (two years ago) link

^^
Perfect tag line for the movie poster

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 17:37 (two years ago) link

exploitation, hubris, tragedy, a man adjusting the lighting above a tonka truck, complaining about "tough shadows"

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 12 May 2022 17:38 (two years ago) link

I can bring water to a boil more quickly if I use multiple pots and kettles with smaller amounts of water in them and then combine all the boiled waters at the end

I do this all the time, so I don't think it's a terrible idea. Though I only use two vessels, the actual pot to be used plus a kettle.

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Thursday, 12 May 2022 21:09 (two years ago) link

:) i did use two last night, for the first time. felt a little silly but immediately was eyeing those other 2 empty burners

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 21:50 (two years ago) link

if i had a ton of money, i'd see how far i could push that. imagine 32 burners with half an ounce of water on each one. or 64 burners, each with a little pvc drip feed to supply the drips of water to each tiny kettle. some sort of system to turn all the burners on at once, and then, just a few seconds later, tip them down into the waiting coffee reservoir

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 21:54 (two years ago) link

you need an incredibly hot metal rod next to the stove that you can stick in a single large pot, causing it to instantly boil. do not touch or drop the incredibly hot metal rod.

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:03 (two years ago) link

i love how terrible this idea is getting

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:08 (two years ago) link

what about 64 incredibly hot metal rod, grooved, tilted down (using the power of _gravity_, thank you mother nature). it only takes each of the tiny water sources about 2-3 seconds to slide down the hot metal, but during that time it goes from room temperature to boiling

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:10 (two years ago) link

oh, and not only that, but the excess steam is collected and helps to warm the buns

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:11 (two years ago) link

Maybe you can find a blacksmith in need of forging space? You could make money boiling your water.

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:15 (two years ago) link

put me in coach

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:19 (two years ago) link

what would be amazing is if the steam could be used to heat the next set of 64 incredibly hot metal rods. a "perpetual energy device", if you will

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:20 (two years ago) link

of course, you'd have to arrange the morning routines with the neighborhood ahead of time. the old-timers would kick off the coffee process at around 4 am, make their way up and down the block, and then by the time i get up around 9:15-10am, that recycled steam is just about to get to my place, nice

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:21 (two years ago) link

Karl, I am pretty sure there are aspects of distillation and saltmaking that are done precisely that way (individual modules, each of whose whose heat powers the next one). Not quite perpetual but definitely similar

may the florist be with you (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 13 May 2022 02:01 (two years ago) link

a toilet that recycles your poos and makes a healthy smoothie out of it

Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Friday, 13 May 2022 02:04 (two years ago) link

Fuck yes

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Friday, 13 May 2022 02:12 (two years ago) link

Ye Mad, that makes me feel good, but I can’t help but feel the next terrible step is to take it to the community coffee level

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Friday, 13 May 2022 02:13 (two years ago) link

isn't salt made with an electric current or something

towards fungal computer (harbl), Friday, 13 May 2022 03:42 (two years ago) link

how about an auto-generated thread or feed that is just made up of twitter links that people post on ILX in real time. so i can just read twitter through ILX's eyes and never have to post or interact

budo jeru, Friday, 13 May 2022 18:49 (two years ago) link

on ILX or on twitter, to be clear

budo jeru, Friday, 13 May 2022 18:49 (two years ago) link

a toilet that recycles your poos and makes a healthy smoothie out of it

― Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Thursday, May 12, 2022 10:04 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Hungry? Perhaps you'd like a POOP BURGER

Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Friday, 13 May 2022 19:46 (two years ago) link

I updated the Wikipedia article for "poop" with all of the details from the article DJP posted, but they took all of it out cos it turned out to be fake lol

Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Friday, 13 May 2022 20:08 (two years ago) link

xp wow my posts on that thread sure are terrible. Co-incidentally, because I thought of this earlier this afternoon before reading the updates to this thread...

A really bad Kaiser Chiefs tribute band from Germany, called the Schiesse Chiefs.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Friday, 13 May 2022 20:32 (two years ago) link

A big box store called The Ham Depot where they only sell ham

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Friday, 13 May 2022 22:24 (two years ago) link

Home Depot doesn't sell homes????

pplains, Saturday, 14 May 2022 03:30 (two years ago) link

What a terrible idea.

Talking about Home Depot, not you Chinchilla.

pplains, Saturday, 14 May 2022 03:31 (two years ago) link

No. If you need homes, you go to Toll Brothers.

And if you need Wals to build those homes, you go to Wal-Mart.

And if you need fresh, fragrant cookies to make those houses into homes, you go to Toll House.

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Saturday, 14 May 2022 06:05 (two years ago) link

sears used to sell homes
in an earlier time, i bet the home depot really would have sold homes

let's face it: we all love going to home depot

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Saturday, 14 May 2022 06:06 (two years ago) link

I just go for the music.

pplains, Saturday, 14 May 2022 13:22 (two years ago) link

Home Depot absolutely sells homes, but there may be some assembly required

Muad'Doob (Moodles), Saturday, 14 May 2022 15:32 (two years ago) link

germ gems, jewelry shaped like germs

Society for the Preservation of (cat), Sunday, 22 May 2022 12:25 (one year ago) link


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