to what extent does your life revolve around alcohol?

I've had quite a few extended periods on the wagon in the last few years - up to 3 months at a time. I don't drink much anyway because of my job (teaching) but a) I tend to get the taste when I do drink and have no 'off' button and b) suffer pretty bad with hangovers - physically and mentally. I would certainly say I feel better for it, physically and mentally: I exercise more, read more, my diet is much better. My main issue is my social life, or what's left of it.

Pretty much all of my social relationships are built around booze to some extent or another and, I realise now, I do essentially self-medicate to cope with social situations. When I give up the sauce, I essentially stop socialising, especially trickier social situations. I'm broadly fine with that but my wife's life is all about socialising and meeting up with people and, well, it's making things difficult.

I didn't mean to go sober but the pandemic killed 99.99% of the reason I ever drank (sociability) and now I think I've just lost the taste? Even when I do see people there's no urge to have a couple of fingers of Scotch or drink a beer and the idea of pounding shots kind of makes my stomach hurt.

Same boat as Milo here. I’ve gas a few drinks in the last couple years and even a single beer gives me a headache. I spend my saved income on RPGs and war games. Still smoke weed every day tho.

Having a glass of wine after a pre-dinner martini. I can no longer day-drink, which is to say: drink with lunch and keep going for hours. I got another reminder yesterday during an Easter BBQ. I wanted to leave at 4 p.m.

Best way to curb your drinking is to stay out of bars. Sounds obvious but it’s true. And I am a person who likes to drink at home, alone or otherwise. Yet when the pandemic first hit and all the bars closed I found it really easy to reduce my drinking to a level even a doctor wouldn’t have a problem with. Binge drinking can happen anywhere, it’s true, but if you stay out of bars you’ll do it way way less.

Maybe it's the wrong question to ask, but how many of you can still drink a beer/glass of wine/cocktail before/during dinner and call it a night?

I have reduced my drinking by a great deal. I have a beer once every four months now and it just makes me feel bloated and tired so it’s like why bother. But I sure do still have romantic yearnings about drinking and bars and stuff.

I did what Alfred said just yesterday but that was because I was still nursing a hangover and one drink was sufficient. Would love to restrict my drinking to mealtime but in all honesty I’d probably have more than one during my meal, as a rule.

For me my restrictions stem from my diet, which is basically small amounts of food for breakfast, midday snack, and lunch. I have a glass of wine on Fridays and Saturdays with lunch, my weekend, and I already feel bloated. But when I hang out with friends my self-imposed weekday schedule is so rigorous that age + body mass + boredom = uggggggggh if I have more than three drinks on weekends.

Pretty much the same for me as brimstead these days.

Wait so you have your daily cocktail and then no evening meal afterwards? It sounds to me like you have this totally under control.

x-post

No, sorry if I wasn't clear. I have a cocktail before dinner, then a couple glasses of wine with dinner. At the moment I'm having my coffee and am done for the night.

I have a drink every day, but it's 1 with dinner, sometimes 2. It's never been an issue for me and i realise that I'm very lucky in that respect.

no alcohol for .. 2 years now? i don't even really remember, that's how you know you're over it imo, if you never even really think about it much. i envy you naturally moderate people a little bit. but then it's working extremely well for me to not drink at all, and i don't think i'm ever going to go back.

One cocktail or aperitif before dinner and then two glasses of wine with dinner was basically my routine for the first year of pandemic. I was proud of myself for sticking to that. But then when restaurants reopened it was hard to avoid a drink or two at lunch. And then when the bars reopened, forget it. NYC is a handicap in this way. I never ever had a problem with alcohol when I lived in suburban Florida.

Maybe it's the wrong question to ask, but how many of you can still drink a beer/glass of wine/cocktail before/during dinner and call it a night?

I mostly don't drink at all any more, so when I do have a beer or a glass of wine with dinner it feels deliciously sinful and it's pretty easy to stick with one. (Red wine is especially good for that.) On special occasions I'll have another. Three is a bad idea for me these days.

So, it looks like the consensus here is: abstention vs verging on excess?

I drink 2 beers with dinner (1 with lunch if I'm at a restaurant) or 2 glasses of wine, but I have found that the wine at dinner frequently ends up with me drinking the whole bottle.

At parties I drink more, but do try to space it out to 1 beer/hour.

Never saw the point of one drink tbh

Because it’s not fun enough?

I never have just one drink unless it's lunch.

I wish I could be a one glass of wine with dinner person, but I just can't. Once I start drinking, I don't stop until it's time for bed. I've tried everything under the sun to try and moderate the drinking, but basically the only thing that works is to just not drink. So I have several days a week where I don't drink, but it's not easy. Those nights drag and I get to thinking what's the point of life if I can't reward myself with a drink in the evening. I know that somewhere on my horizon I'm going to have to bite the bullet and give up altogether.

man, y'all :(

hugs

i can do one. and feel it a bit. just a cheap drunk.

I love to have a single beer. It's the perfect amount of beer. Alcoholics hate me.

Sometimes I'll go nuts and have two on the weekend. But I've never thought "I sure am glad I had that third beer."

Having my quarterly, post-Lenten beer right now. Will let you know how it goes.

But I do love the daily happy hour with my partner, and compared with most of our friends, we're the alcoholics.

Body knows I can’t quite metabolize it properly so will barely let me drink it. I am enjoying to talking to the bartender(s) and listening to the Bossa Nova as per brimstead.

Not much.

xp Are you downtown rn?

I've never thought "I sure am glad I had that third beer."

I think the drinker's frame of mind at this point is, I'm feeling good, do I have another drink to keep feeling this way or do I stop cold and deal with the unpleasant coming down period

xp Are you downtown rn?

Ah, was picturing you trapped inside a Petula Clark song

During the worst of the pandemic it got a little intense at home, to be fair. Generally now I’ve made a rule to just not drink at home; I’m the only one here.

When I’m at dinner (with friends who drink) or at a friend’s house, usually one drink will do. Increasingly though at restaurants everyone’s just like, getting a water or an ice tea.

The thrill is kinda gone.

Obviously, whenever I finally meet Alfred, I’ll have whatever drink he demands I try.

Ah, was picturing you trapped inside a Petula Clark song

^ right, I should have explained that. Sounds like a good time tbh.

For me it was, a good, low-key time. Just as I was leaving a couple walked in after been at a sushi bar serving All You Can Drink sake so things might go in a different directoin.

that would have been material for "At the Bar 2022"

I recently went through a bad health sitch where I couldn’t drink alcohol, or eat hardly anything aside from meat and vegetables and fruit, and at first it was unclear if my new required diet was permanent or not. The only thing I cared about was no beer. It was disturbing how much my life revolved around alcohol. “What’s my life gonna be like if I can never drink again?!”

Flash forward four months and I drink on occasion now, a few times a month, and not sure it’ll ever ramp back up to what it was. It was a good sort of calculated drinking-a-good-amount-but-never-drunk, only in social situations. Not sure what my body will allow now though, and haven’t really pushed it. Still don’t really care about the food limitations/uncertainty. I feel silly.

Obviously, whenever I finally meet Alfred, I’ll have whatever drink he demands I try.

― Legalize Suburban Benches (Raymond Cummings),

*bangs index finger on table*

I did a cleanse some years ago with the help of a nutritionist where I gave up flour, meat, sugar, caffeine, fruit, alcohol... basically everything except things like kale/collard greens and buckwheat. I found that of all that I gave up, wine was the thing I craved most when I couldn't have it. Although the cleanse did clear up a troublesome rash that was my reason for going to the nutritionist to begin with.

I do think the best option is to completely give up alcohol if you possibly can, that is if it doesn't clearly and obviously lower your quality of life.

completely

I've had maybe a hundred or so drinks over the last few decades, and exactly one of those drinks felt as euphoric as drinkers describe. I've been more likely to wind up sitting with my head in my hands, or lose my temper, and I don't like those odds.

It may be harder for me to fall asleep now.

I can drink a beer with a nice appetizer and starting a restaurant meal, then have a beer with my meal and be happy

During the last two years it’s been a two bottles of whiskey per week average :/

Yup my at home drinking has really grown since covid, probably too much