At what age did you lose your virginity?

;-)

so you're only 16 years old?

Pretty young, but I don't regret it. Boyfriend of the time was lovely, and is still one of my best friends in the world.

poll should have been called "carry me back to old virginity"

^^best part about this entire thread, and board so far

I didn't 'lose' it, I just mislaid it.

18 and one week (practically 17, really) with a beautiful girl that i loved, and stayed with for another six years.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

wonder why 18 and 20 got the most votes, but 19 got far less ...

19-year-olds got cooties.

It's the disparity between 20 and 21 that what happened, I am confuses me

wonder why 18 and 20 got the most votes, but 19 got far less ...

19 still got the third most votes?

srsly 21, 22 and 23 = uhhhh

xp Mine was pretty close to my 21st birthday, actually. I think it was right after his and before mine. We were two weeks apart. We also wore the same size shoes.

Yeah it got 9, but the graph would not look like a normal distribution.

26 is really the weirdest outlier i think

well lol poll results with this sample size but the basic trend is still right w/ 19 @ 9 its the mid/l8 20s bump that really fucks the dist

I was 18 too, and thought I was way too old to be a virgin (almost all of my close friends had already had sex). The girl I was with was nice enough and the experience itself was not unpleasant at all, but it soon became obvious there was no real spark between us, so the whole thing ended within days and we never had sex for the second time.

I don't know if I feel relieved or saddened that one person was younger than me. :-/

A friend of mine lost his to a 30-something Polish woman. She preceded it by saying 'I will destroy you'

And I know another dude who lost his during a Godspeed gig in Greece.

So here's a question: at what age does one go from being simply "a virgin" to being a proper "adult virgin."

25

I guess I felt 25 was 'last of the adult age mileposts' because you can rent a car but that makes it even more depressing

yeah pot should be legal at age 30

Sex is for hippies

sex, weed, comfortable threads...hippies otm

xp - is that what you tell your fiancee?

man i wish ilx had some comfortabnle threads i'm havin a mellow week and there's no fuckin place to hide in this motherfucker

try the suburbs

i dunno what an urb is but i'll be damned, madam, if i settle for a poor one on your say-so

pot legal at 30, heroin legal at 80 IMO

depressing to realise how little my answer to this has changed over the years

isn't that how time works?

hush i'm trying for a sad bill murray vibe

I laughed, darragh

ty, ty

lolled here

18, it was horrible, a few nights before she'd shouted at me in the SU for not having sex with her. I also did drugs for the first time the day after. What a weekend.

This could easily be x-posted to the "phrases you hate" thread, but it's more on-topic here.....

I've long thought "losing your virginity" to be one of the most revulsion-inducing expressions in the English language. Really, shouldn't one of life's most evocative experiences - making love for your first time ever - be referred to as gaining a new and alluring experience of great poignancy rather than losing something; or worse, having something taken away from you? (as in "Aaron took Jane's virginity last night")? It's just such an awful, sex-negative remnant of Victorian-era attitudes i would've hoped we'd moved forward from long ago. I think it's high time we eradicated "losing one's virginity" from our collective vernacular and replace it with something that invokes discovery, not loss.

lol

Not intended to be funny; it's actually kinda sad. Orwellian even. Newspeak didn't have a word that meant "freedom" so the people couldn't dream up and discuss the concept since there was no word that described it. When the main terminology we have for experiencing sex for the first time is wrapped up in words like "lose" and "take" and "put out", we're robbed of the ability to describe how it really does feel, often enriching rather than feeling as if you're less complete than you were because you're missing something you previously had. When these things are baked into the language, accurate and eloquent thought suffers.

"making love" is a phrase that isn't necessarily sex positive?

It was less clinical than most non-obscene alternatives

lol

I agree w your broader point but yeah "making love" doesn't work in there for several reasons. "Fucking" would because I can do that w/somebody I love or not & it's still an awesome experience. Which is the better part of your broader point, that fucking is awesome and doing it for the first time isn't a loss of anything any more than me eating a sandwich for the first time is a loss. But then people do talk about "losing their (non-sexual experience) virginity" - this is just more xian hangover I think with a whopping side-order of Blake & Wordsworth

whipping, shurely

Losing one's virginity is better suited to describing "the first time I ate papaya salad" or "the first time I listened to Siouxsie"

At what age did you gain your non-virginity?

p sure there was a kid in india born without one, tho iirc they found a donor p quickly by targetting d&d forums

I think the word Leeeee is looking for is "jamming" or "rocking out"

well, now I'm turned off of sex forever

Forget what you've heard about your first time being special. Hire a prostitute or something.

yea plus aren't there like a bunch of casual sex hookup apps where you can find people in your neighborhood to fuck?

Hiring a prostitute to have sex for the first time seems like a terrible idea. (Admittedly, I think it's always a terrible idea.)

I know it's hard not to think about if it's a preoccupation, but maybe the thread isn't helping? I don't know, man, I think you need to try something new.

Forget what you've heard about your first time being special

This is definitely not my concern, I'm just getting really sick of having always been alone, and the fact that there's nothing to suggest this will change anytime soon. Mostly I just feel like complaining.

Hiring a prostitute to have sex for the first time seems like a terrible idea.

You're probably right. It's just something I've seen in movies and on tv.

I'm just getting really sick of having always been alone, and the fact that there's nothing to suggest this will change anytime soon.

Well yeah, this sucks, especially if that solitude isn't a choice.

Hiring a prostitute to have sex for the first time seems like a terrible idea.

That's easy for you to say, not everyone knows how to talk to strangers/women/potential relationship candidates. Not everyone took part in the whole dating thing when they were growing up.

So, in short, I disagree. Don't wait until you're 41 like msome people. When it's such a big deal in your head, all you care about is knowing what it's all about. No strings attached (except the one she's wearing, perhaps), no need to act like you're social, just you finding out how it feels. Sure, you'll feel guilty, sure, it won't be as great as it looks in porn, but in the end, you'll know. And that was the point. You won't become a different person or anything, you'll just know.

At least, that's just something I've seen in movies and on tv as well, obviously.

You'll learn something about the mechanics of sex, but an essential part of the experience will be missing, because you'll be having it with someone who doesn't really want you. That seems like a bad thing in general, closely related to the ethical problems with prostitution, and especially bad for a first sexual experience.

that's really on your own baggage. it's hard to divest if it's part of you and you haven't had any sex. but really, you can have enthusiastic consensual sex with a stranger or pro or whatever and have a good time

The idea that good sex requires love and obligation and a guilt complex is uhhh, fine if that works for you but don't foist that on others.

http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsK/85783-19426.jpg

i don't think jrn's position has to be about love and obligation and a guilt complex though. it's true that first time sex (whether overall first time or with a new partner) isn't a big deal but the reason it's not a big deal is perhaps less about some brutally objective physical fact than it is that when you're with someone you're comfortable around, and there's some distinct mutual feeling, then intimacy and sex are pretty easy.

mh, could you explain how you interpreted my post as opposing casual sex? I'm really curious.

i can't imagine having sex with a prostitute and not feeling paralyzed with self-consciousness about the fact that they (probably) aren't attracted to me. this seems like awful advice for a first timer.

How do you feel when you imagine having sex with a non-prostitute?

but an essential part of the experience will be missing, because you'll be having it with someone who doesn't really want you

If you're having casual sex, you're doing it to have sex and not feel deep love and romantic feelings and the like? And presumably the other person does want you (to have casual sex with them). Saying that you're missing something _essential_ misses the point that it's _casual sex_.

but jrn's saying that "essential part" is missing in sex with a prostitute, not (necessarily) in casual sex

sex is just a body thing when you get down to it. something that just happens on a different level than things like acceptance, love, or any of that shit. we add all those different layers to it because that's what we do. is there any great meaning behind whether someone's body wants to fuck you? if you imagine you're a sex god i guess i could see that as important. or have some great need to be accepted unconditionally by every person you want to screw.

i've had casual sex where i didn't give a crap about the other person, and vice versa. it's just fun with someone else. then you part ways. costs about $6 in beer. it all depends on what you want and feel comfortable with, but there's nothing great or special about what sex is. it's just our bodies doing their thing.

and there's the other end of the continuum

i wouldn't see a prostitute, personally, but i don't think there's anything wrong with that. my taste is that the other person having fun is part of me having fun. has to be mutual. but it doesn't make you a shit person if you really want to get off and you see someone who can help you with that for money. might even be good for you as long as you're safe about it.

Several years back I knew a woman who *loved* having sex with first-timers, especially older ones, guys who were shy, uncomfortable talking with women, or clueless about how to initiate a relationship, but were generally nice guys. She would all but offer herself up to anyone she knew to be a virgin as long as they were nice to her and not repulsive. When I asked her why, she said these men always treated her so well and made her feel important, because she was important to them. She was also amazed at how good they were in bed, perhaps because they'd spent so long just thinking about sex, asking their friends about it, or reading up on it.

I wonder how common this is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah7VxQHs-gI