It's ok to write poems and put them here

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#onepoem

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Saturday, 9 April 2022 19:15 (two years ago) link

It was a travel league. Since our home field was flooded, we always played in another town, riding on the bus through the valley.

Several times, that year, it was homecoming for the other team. In retrospect, I know the reason was, the home team, naturally, hosting their homecoming, would usually plan to win the game, so they’d arrange the league’s schedule to play the worst team. That would be us.

As it was happening, it was always a surprise, at least to me.

The parking lot dust passed through the open windows. When we made our sweaty exit from the bus, some of it was on my forehead.

I saw their marching band gathering. I saw one of the kids struggling with a big bass drum. It was about as big as him. He was a rail thin wicket. He was trying not to look like it was too heavy, but it was. The harness dug deep into the shoulders. All the same he stood in line.

I heard them making fun of him.

The game quickly got out of hand. I was sitting on the bench, as I was accustomed, watching the players, watching the crowd.

I saw an ambulance parked behind the wire fence. Fireflies arranged musically on the practice field behind the lot. Pairs of lights smoothly moving on the highway. So many bugs flying way up in the bright lights.

I saw the coach’s assistant to the assistant, adjusting his headset.

The band played Land of 1000 Dances. It was over. We went 0 and 10.

I saw the bass drum kid, afterward.

Several years afterward. He had left for college and came back round. He was a sweet kid.

He wore new clothes and acted differently. We made eye contact but he didn’t recognize me.

Karl Malone, Sunday, 10 April 2022 01:40 (two years ago) link

The bar at the end of the world
Was surprisingly busy
A couple of regulars were there
All people I didn’t want to see

calstars, Sunday, 10 April 2022 01:57 (two years ago) link

heaven is a place
where no one gets sick
because when they get sick
they get kicked out of heaven

Karl Malone, Sunday, 10 April 2022 02:02 (two years ago) link

Karl is that earlier one a Marilyn Haggerty review of an away game?

assert (matttkkkk), Sunday, 10 April 2022 02:34 (two years ago) link

honestly, i have no idea what that means! :D

so no, it is not. but i want to hear more lol

Karl Malone, Sunday, 10 April 2022 02:40 (two years ago) link

i just posted an updated version on my instagram, *burp**

Karl Malone, Sunday, 10 April 2022 02:40 (two years ago) link

Oh I was just referencing the newspaper food writer from Grand Forks who was famous for reviewing Olive Garden a while back; her prose has that kind of floating, detached poetry to it as well. Marilyn Haggerty's amazing Olive Garden review and the subsequent viral shitstorm

assert (matttkkkk), Sunday, 10 April 2022 03:14 (two years ago) link

i KNEW the name sounded familiar, lol! but i could only think of merle haggard, threw me off ;)

Karl Malone, Sunday, 10 April 2022 04:11 (two years ago) link

Would you like to receive personalized recommendations?
Would you mind if I received them instead?
Can I add them to my great ball pit of better options
and play the crane game with a pair of chopsticks?

Karl Malone, Sunday, 10 April 2022 14:58 (two years ago) link

haiku

You did a no growth.
Attach the stone of lossless
Insipidity

gop on ya gingrich (wins), Monday, 11 April 2022 18:23 (two years ago) link

30 day notice
Hour long session
Receiving packages
Do you really want to

calstars, Monday, 11 April 2022 18:24 (two years ago) link

haiku

What is up with toads
It’s like frogs are one thing but
What is up with toads

gop on ya gingrich (wins), Monday, 11 April 2022 20:01 (two years ago) link

TRIANGLES

This is not a poem
I just wanted to place that word here
To remind myself to write about TRIANGLES
(this weekend)

When I can afford to be unsober
At least enough to write
...something
(something about TRIANGLES?)

tbh I've already forgot
My important thoughts about TRIANGLES
But maybe the sight of that word is a madeline
And they will rush back, Proustianlike

So when I'm next in this vicinity
When my veins are more liquor than blood
Remind me to talk about TRIANGLES
(maybe football-related? I forget)

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Wednesday, 13 April 2022 21:45 (two years ago) link

You're sat on my sofa and I don't know how to calm you
let's pretend that it's two thousand and four
"actually my band is named THE RAGDOLL PHYSISISTS"
I won't spell it right for a few more months
Yeah you're right, "PROGRESSIVE POWERUPS" would funnier
But I'm a child, more relevantly I'm stubborn
Give it some years, I'll kick that boy to the kerb
And feel the need to rewrite the whole affair

If it's 2004 let's go visit My Mother
And see if there's new text on her table
Jade wrote "Miss Hunny Pussy", I'll get a row for that later
But Sharris will flex, and put a tenner in her swear jar
Let's hunker on her lawn and wait for the explosion
Cos sadly Fiona is no longer alive to recreate the actual scene
I'm waiting for My Mother to go visit her real family
So I can set teens on this spot to spar, for my amusement

But it's twenty twenty two, and I still carry the same knife
That old man still ain't turned up, let's just write him off by now
They can throw all the rocks they want, I'll just volley them back
42, still got it, a sweet left foot (and shin)

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Saturday, 16 April 2022 09:37 (two years ago) link

The way I hold the unlit cigarette in my hand
Lengthwise alongside the Clipper
Finishing my IMPORTANT point before I exit the building?
(no doubt waving the other hand, pinpointing invisible stuff in the air)
It was just pointed out to me TODAY
By an IMPORTANT, BEAUTIFUL person
That that is a gesture I clearly picked up from My Mother
Right enough, I see it now
I just never noticed before
Unlike all my siblings, I don't physically resemble her
As previously discussed, I take after [my father]
FOR MY SINS!
But now it has been pointed out
That is one thing that will live on of My Mother
When she dies
(cus cmon, she's gunna die eventually)
Only one of her other children smokes
And I have not observed how he holds an unlit cigarette
I will take nothing from [my father]
Except I guess this bruised face
Maybe he's already dead?
(he was looking pretty rough last time we spoke)
He could barely speak
FOR HIS SINS!
Pretty sure he was breaking numerous lockdowns
A pink sweatshirt, advertising some Korean nursey
Maybe signifies a third (or fourth?) family
Yellow stains down the front
I'm guessing mustard? Fuck knows...
But I hold the unlit cigarette identical to My Mother
And that counts like a million times more
Than (I just remembered) the fag burns on my arm
From his scumbag hun colleagues

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Monday, 18 April 2022 01:08 (two years ago) link

FIRST OF ALL:
I was never aware of what went down in Egersund
i was a child, I was barely awake
Like, a kitten who's eyes were not quite open
I was present, just didn't understand
I just remember the hushed conversations
Before I was noticed, then hustled away
Two times I watched Spurs play friendlies against Viking
Lineker, Gascoigne, the way they spoke of Gascoigne, even then

The other thing I remember was something horrific
A man on fire in a shopping cart
Imprinted on me, but I've worked it out now
It was Manhunter on VHS, right?
Oh, one other thing was my toddler sister
Downing any glass of spirits she toddled across
It was funny to grownups, I think they maybe encouraged it
But guess what? She turned out OK

SECONDLY:
Those times in that flat in Camden Town
Only me and my sister, the two non-bedwetters
We slept on the floor of my father's living room
Second time in a cinema, first experience of penguins
The times when the neighbour below came and chapped the door
Cus we were making too much noise
The pure fury on the face of my father
"your daughter's trying to sleep? YOUR DAUGHTER'S SEVENTEEN!"

I genuinely thought I was the big man
My bedwetter brother had to stay with my aunt
I knew he also got to the cinema for Batman
I never knew the rest til he let it slip months later
My auntie also took him to Dick Tracy!
I was fuming, thinking I'd missed out
Decades later, we can laugh about it
We both agree that film was Kinda Shit

THIRD:
[ENTIRELY REDACTED, SEXUAL ABUSE AND SUCH]

FORD:
I don't see my father these days
I can make Pavement jokes to my brother about his current whereabouts
Career/Korea, I haven't quite got the punchline
But yknow, it's/I'm a work in progress
My new father is a guy called Al, or Bert?
I recall the relevance of the album "Hirt Plays Bert", but not the direction
I just know he freqeuntly stands in front of Judy
Maybe we both need to cut down on the drink

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Monday, 18 April 2022 13:23 (two years ago) link

Like I just want to say, blaming everthing on alcohol?
Makes me uneasy slash narked slash actually fucking furious
As an alcoholic can I just say: I never hit a woman
Alcohol makes me fall around the room
Makes me a stuttery incoherent fool
Never not one instance made me "violent"
My father was a violent drunk (but I'm not sure if I ever met him sober)
Yeah he beat me whilst drunk, beat My Mother whilst drunk
BUT! (and here's the point right here)
Maybe he is/was just a violent person
Maybe sobriety just keeps your natural feelings down
Maybe I'm naturally an incoherent stumbly fool

Alcohol lets me talk to people
Cus Sober Me really wants to talk to people!
Alcohol stops the buzzing in my head
So I can concentrate on "hey, how YOU doing?"
I shouldn't mix it with meds, cus then I wake up in a van
(TRUE STORY, let's not get into it now)
I promised that Lady I'd explain about THE TRIANGLES
But next day it seems as important as carpet
But I remember walking into that room
Don't remember the outcome, but I washed three glasses
I can guess who for, I'll smirk from across the bar
(just don't mention the van bisnes, we'll never speak of that)

There are three people you need to deal with
Myself slash My Demons slash My Dead Friends
We'll pass the ball between us, before you know it we've killed your owl
They shoulda known better to hang out in that spot

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Wednesday, 27 April 2022 11:30 (two years ago) link

*than to, dammit

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Wednesday, 27 April 2022 11:36 (two years ago) link

It will take years to
tonight was magic

calstars, Saturday, 30 April 2022 03:40 (two years ago) link

Genuflect then circumflex, maybe buy a new keyboard
c+p gets me so far then a brick to my head
Question my vocabulary, have you met my family?
Count the characters twice, I guess that you win again

4/4 brings me back in the same perfect circle
7/8 of your life puts you right on the piano stool
Do the "math", yeah I've done it, in fact multiple times over
Another joke your (valid) phrasing won't allow you to get

"wheels within wheels", mumbled physical level
was that meant for a poem or just a personal note?
"people scream differently when they're on fire"
I hope I never remember where I got that from

I need one of those notebooks, with some cheesy shit on the cover
For me to fill up with a shaky hand
Turns out I'm wrong, there's already one on my fridge
Young L. must have gifted it fuck knows years ago

Scanning it now, it's incoherent scribbles
Constant rewrite of the Days Of Christmas
Just scored out lines, and arrows pointing random places
"AND A MOOOOOUTHIE IN THE KEY OF SEEEEE!"

See?

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Monday, 2 May 2022 12:21 (two years ago) link

You want to borrow that one line? Fuck You, Pay Me
It comes with hand movements, like in one job lot
Your fake currencies? I think the clue's in the title
I'll take it in Sterling, fucking do it or not

Call it tunnert cash right now on the table
Unless you want to double down
I'll lay it all on that boy there, I know his mother
Whereas I spoke with that weegie, he's a fucking clown

Do a 360, check the lack of astonishment
One time they all seen Kid backflip out The Tree
Everyone cheered then, I just went and cooked breakfast
He doesn't drink but also doesn't use cutlery

Yeah there's hometown applause, but watch who he fistbumps
See? I was one of only two or three
Threatens past "Friends" of his mammy on a regular basis
But never once has had a problem with me

Your pierogi tattoo
Oh yeah that's cute,
Remind exactly where we stand?
"A Better Future", I'll just check my wrists

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Monday, 2 May 2022 21:34 (two years ago) link

Oh sorry, got confused, the latter thing is some latter thing...

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Monday, 2 May 2022 21:38 (two years ago) link

(genuinly fuck any pierogi tattos)

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Monday, 2 May 2022 21:39 (two years ago) link

I LOVE MY JOB!
Just kidding, I don't have a job
Occasionally I get paid to paint pubs
But they make me walk planks, sorry Chief, how bout NAW

I was a waiter once, at a steakhouse, for like 5 minutes
Then they decided I was better off just writing things down
But I was too slow, and stuck my tongue out to concentrate
Then got fired and went back to my bed

For my little brother's 30th birthday I gave him a knife with magic powers
Had my mother hand it over cus I don't mix with that crowd
She didn't understand, but reported back
Apparently he looked at it, smirked, and nodded

He understood
He worked at that steakhouse much longer than me

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Tuesday, 3 May 2022 22:48 (two years ago) link

Jink sideways, mon now son you surely got it from Desert Strike
Have you never learnt lessons applicable to Real Life?
I seen you play two games, did it never occur to you
Hollow Knight was released between the pair of them

Did you never wonder why Kid crouches on the pavement
Before he enters that scummy (necessary) shop?
He's recharging his Soul meter, the fact that I get that
Explains why only one of us pair has been stabbed in our sleep

V. asked me to be in her band, I was chuffed for a second
Til she clarified as back up dancer, "with your sweet sweet moves"
Yeah I'll take the compliment, but the evenings we've spent together
with me chugging away at rhythm guitar with that heavy arm

Or even my drunken three chord piano
Which I surely hauled out that pub cellar for a reason
It sat in my mother's house for about 4 years
The scores on the pavement lasted longer than that

Then I befriended a removal guy
Who had access to a van, and a sweet trolley
Set it down in this room with a out of tune THUNK
I doubt it affected it much, I PREVIOUSLY HAULED IT OUT A PUB CELLAR

V. basically wants a band built around her (clean) new boyfriend
"a musician - a drummer!", well which one is it?
She did not appreciate that joke
My awesome humour is wasted on the wasted

She said Kid can be in on keyboards
She's fucking dreaming, that sounds far too prescriptive
There's a reason why when i formed THE RAGDOLL PHYSISISTS
We had his role down as "Texture"

I don't think I need to be involved in this scheme
Cus me and Kid have an unspoken pact
Right now he's hitting presets on a Roland EG-101
I'm strumming the Velvet chords, ancor' til the sun comes up

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Wednesday, 4 May 2022 00:11 (two years ago) link

true blue, true blue
if you're headed out
I would go with you

Only tell me which half of it was true
and I'll tell you too

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Friday, 6 May 2022 07:34 (two years ago) link

JHM I am rooting hard for your band

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Friday, 6 May 2022 07:47 (two years ago) link

So My Mother is texting Yxxxx Lxxxx, asking if her partner can come do some job
"He's her tattoo boy, must be cool, right?" NO
FIRST OFF, My Mother, you should know:
He's a PETRIE! Not that cool now, right?
I know you've had run-ins with that family before...
SECOND OFF: That's Lxxxx's boyfriend!
Cool your heels, just consider
When has that ever (EVER!?!) worked out well for this family as yet?

Remember that one boy who claimed he'd flown THIRTEEN HOURS STRAIGHT to the quiz?
I personally remember that squinty eye you shot at him
Remember that one boy moved his lips when reading
You never looked at that one, just looked at Her, and shook your head
Remember that other guy's explaination for a lack of licence?
"I did 120 in a 30 zone" > CUNT
Remember his smug face, remember that shit I started?
Understand why you never see him round my house

Did you see us slow dancing round your living room?
I know you did, cus you interjected
23 grand, you enjoyed seeing her shocked face
Then we left, after I whispered "40 years ago..."
"Woodworm Willy" was your last words, I had to explain
It was his lifestyle, nothing to do with STDs
I took her home, more slow dancing etcetera
I'll sell your house, just never talk to us again

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Saturday, 7 May 2022 18:49 (two years ago) link

A POEM CALLED "MY MOTHER'S NEW KNIFE"
Haha no, her knife is rubbish
Fair play, it's metal but painted blue
And doesn't have the appropriate weight

I wanted a neutral perspective, fortunately there was a random lady
Stood right there in your "classy" hall
I put one in each hand, she looked at me weird and said nothing
But I could tell by her face I WIN AGAIN

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Saturday, 7 May 2022 19:10 (two years ago) link

Deez poemz UK

calstars, Saturday, 7 May 2022 19:20 (two years ago) link

“You didn’t see this” she said
as she overpoured the beans
into the hopper

calstars, Saturday, 7 May 2022 19:39 (two years ago) link

Three trophies and lump it, son
Just look me in the eyes and tell me where you're from
Your Big Brother can't help you now
Did you stab that posh boy yet? No? Then you don't get to rhyme

70-40 doesn't add to a hunnert
That means THE GHOSTS are liars, don't listen to them
But still stab the posh boy
Just do it on your own recognisance

"is that even a word?"
Hey Fuck You, maybe ask THE GHOSTS
While you're at it, ask them for Arborio rice
You live on my sofa, maybe contribute

My GHOSTS could take your GHOSTS in a head-on fight
Unless you can think of a word that rhymes with KNIFE
There's only so many times you can rotate the piano stool
You're not stupid, you understand 360° means you're facing the same way as before, right?

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Saturday, 7 May 2022 21:21 (two years ago) link

Headphones keep your brain cool, they're not even plugged in
But no one is fooled, to your constant chagrin
Sunglasses at night, you claim they're prescription
They're not helping your sight so we know that is fiction

The demons are massing, bearing pool cues and such
But the odd random glassing won't slow you down much
The pins in your arm might set off some alarms
But medallions and alms should protect you from harm

You make a clear beeline to the one that you love
Your brow furrows in realtime as we watch from above
Half and half scarf surely grounds for dismissal
Scarified heart makes you pray for the missiles

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Monday, 9 May 2022 10:35 (two years ago) link

(ok, that one got worse and worse as I crowbarred all the internal rhymes in, but I remain proud of "Half and half scarf"/"Scarified heart"...)

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Monday, 9 May 2022 10:37 (two years ago) link

New episode of Barry will keep our minds off all the pets to tame
But I'd prefer to gaze out your window, work my psychic powers
If I stare at that forest long enough it'll all burst in flames
WAIT! Did you see that? Definite smoke, mark it down as a win

This bench is definitely halfway round the walk
(if I kinda shuffle on the way back home)
Sit here long enough, that certain dogwalker will pass
I bet he's got a Clipper lighter that works

I wrote this one for the preschool friend who made it to a published book
Ignore the halfhearted bullying when he was desperate to fit in
I wrote it for my brother who made it out that cursed bedroom
He's a fireman now, I apologise for the psychic bisnes

I wrote it for my "soulmate" who writes poetry now to stay clean
She's doing so much better than me
She keeps asking for a date to visit
That's a bad idea, on so many levels

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Monday, 9 May 2022 19:20 (two years ago) link

I am not good for nothing
I am getting good at becoming nothing

You wouldn’t last three days living like me
You’d need something to happen
so badly
You would nearly do what
I couldn’t possibly

While you go do anything
I stop at nothing
to keep running on empty

Let what is the heaviest sink
in the deepest
sense of meaninglessness
it could change my mind

In the event of happiness
make no sudden movements
do not try to hold onto or
give a name to it
Avoid those notions
which suggest latent shapes of desperation
Act as though you don’t notice it

nothing will happen
eventually
who are we now
is the mystery

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 23:42 (two years ago) link

When the seagulls follow the tractor
It's cus we live in a valley, they know fish ain't a factor
The crows tip their beaks, thinking "fair play", "well done"
Then they shit on the council, cawing "immigrants welcome"

I was mowing the lawn when you appeared without warning
How many pullups did you get through this morning?
Rub the sleep from your eyes before you come on as sub
Clack the mud off your good shoes if you want let in the club

Your mother's the one thing that I gave up for Lent
But I beg her forgiveness for the texts that I sent
I was in a bad place, specifically Montrose
I'm not your daddy, I'm just wearing his clothes

Truth be told I'll prolly follow him down
But don't judge my nation on one clichéd clown
I heard the spiel, it was all guffament chunder
Never mind chin, he's a lottaless wonder

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Sunday, 15 May 2022 17:29 (two years ago) link

And when He calls me I will be prepared
Naw, this ain't no literal Jesus thing
Just line your shoes in the hallway, we both know fine well
You're clearly a bigger man than your da

You promised your auntie you'd repaint her fence
I suppose I'll help, once my body regains feeling
I was counting issues but ran out of fingers
Also only play songs that match the tempo of the waving fella

There's been damage from sticks, damage from stones
Damage from broken beds circa 1992
Go sleep out on veranda, your mother never asked why (SHE KNEW!)
17 cats bosied up, established my future life

Scars on your midthighs, scars on my ribcage
The tattoo man said he couldn't cover them up
Pass back and forth the Cowboy Bebop hoodie
Face it, we're both dying in our sleep

HOLDING EACH OTHER

Small victory
42 year history

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Sunday, 15 May 2022 23:29 (two years ago) link

Muttermutter I cut my nails to keep the dirt out
You don't know the hill paths as well as me
when I scarper into the trees I'm prolly strangling a rabbit
When I emerge, get Ancelotti eyebrow, feign innocence

I genuinelly have like 33 fucking "uncles"
I only have one Mother
I have (now) 3 siblings, I didn't get to pick them
But they never picked me either

The first knife I owned
Bought it from a market in Leporano
The guy tried to indicate to me to hide it in my jacket
I wasn't wearing a jacket...

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Sunday, 15 May 2022 23:52 (two years ago) link

It’s a lunar eclipse
said to be total in ten minutes or so
it was better when it was still partly lit
when darkness was trimming it down to a sliver

Once again, Earth is getting in the way
hogging all the light from what is closest to us
it’s on a schedule it will happen again

I read somewhere* that all the planets could easily fit
on a line between ourselves and the crescent
I presently pointed my phone at

Zooming with an easy reverse pinch motion
I accidentally used the flash and laughed
at the immediate reminder of my humanity

*caek

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Monday, 16 May 2022 04:04 (two years ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/o45OH4o.jpg

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Monday, 16 May 2022 04:08 (two years ago) link

"vociferous" yeah, I mean his voice was ferocious
Then you waggled your fingers, I guess to indicate closeness
The hidden context maybe SHUT YOUR FUCKEN MOUTH TIMOTHY
I'm TRYING MY BEST, I swear (maybe don't actually swear tho)

Exactly one year (I lie), ticktick ON THE DOT
But the referee points to the penalty spot
Conversate about I forget what, meaningless shit
But I remember what Benjamin said to the busdriver

Twenty years ago

"Pray for bombs, pray for snow..."

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Monday, 16 May 2022 10:28 (two years ago) link

How is it when I walked around Brickfield
Everyone thought I was Doogie?
Teenage girls on the street: "HEY DOOGIE!"
Shouts from high windows: "WHERE YE HEADED DOOGIE?"
I asked Fiona, who lived nextdoor
She said "no joke, you're a deadringer for Doogie"
So apparently I have a doppelganger
Never crossed his path

Malin moved, Fiona died, I stopped walking those streets
But I still think of the people I met
That middle-aged guy dressed up for karate
I paused on the pavement, bowed for him, a mental gong hit
There was no one there to confirm my comedic skills
Except the child who asked me if a had a fag
I said "yes, thanks", and showed him, ALSO HILARIOUS
I was wasted on that estate

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Monday, 16 May 2022 13:23 (two years ago) link

Fasetiousness
Come take a piece of this
Come teach me how to spell
Pretend you're doing well

I like your wobble, sometimes subtly encourage it
Nextdoor blatantly cheers on the shimmy
Curtis frequently tussles with his one true best friend
I love them both, but maybe one more than the other

DON'T. MAKE. ME. CHOOSE.

In a flip between heating and eating, I chose drinking
Seemed like the best of both worlds at the time
It's good that your siblings are increasingly politicised
But your mother needs to not be on facebook

Yon Kid smirked, said I only write of "knives and mothers"
Not true, I frequently mention you too
But next time he retunes my guitar to some weird shit
I'll stab his maw with a knife, then maybe write about it...

This poem is called QUAGLIARELLA, for Reasons
Come here
Sit on my sofa
And try to talk me out of it

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Monday, 16 May 2022 17:06 (two years ago) link

Dusty pockets, bottle rockets
Doublecheck what's on the docket
Female, about 9 years too young, she needs to not apologise
Count her cats, ignore Twitch chat
Hallucinate more vampire bats
Six steps from the stairway is the best place to hypothesize
N-n-n-nineteen is somewhat green
But she's been on the café scene
Squinted at her wrists, clean of slashes and/or needlemarks
A litany of past mistakes
And Gochugaru chili flakes
Reverberate throughout but I knocked it out the park

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Tuesday, 17 May 2022 01:04 (two years ago) link

(the answer to your first question: my little brother)

Sorry about when I threatened Kid's mother
It was a joke
I would NEVER
NEVER, I SAY!
In fact I'll name my next-but-one cat Kid's government name
Cus, y'know...
I love him
Y'know?
(also his mother)

(in anticipation of your next question: KOSTAS)

V.'s getting pissed off at the words that I send her
"Why don't you just MARRY HER then?"
Cus she left like THREE YEARS AGO!
She's prolly in London, most everyone is
Not everything I write is contemporary
I thought that's how poetry works
What do I know?
But if you see her, tell her I miss her
Her name starts with an A
First time I went to that shithole alone I slept on a sofa myself
In the room of a guy whose name started with B
I jokedly grumbled "I was told these streets were paved with gold..."
Maybe I'll call him, I've still got his details
Tell him to look out for a girl who's name starts with an A
Otherwise
Just tell the penguins me and my sister said hi

(...ictoria. NO MORE QUESTIONS!)

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Tuesday, 17 May 2022 01:57 (two years ago) link

Try to clear my mind
But the puns return again
Honkin’ on bobo

Agnes, Agatha, Germaine and Jack (Willl), Tuesday, 17 May 2022 02:16 (two years ago) link

All eyes turn to me when the mediator asks me what I think
I just tip my head back to get the last dregs of the drink
That's the only reason I notice the stains on the ceiling
They somehow give me power to explain just how I'm feeling

You've met my father, eh? Well tell me what route to follow
You're Lobby McCuntface, and I claim ALL THE AMERICAN DOLLARS
Come summer and Gala week I'll lay it all down on some duck
But if that boy's on the bridge again I guess we'll be shit out of luck

Pop Quiz Hotshot! What comes in flurries? Snow, and... blows?
What else could I expect today? Who knows
Small mercies, at least there's ice for the swelling
And sledging later, and exaggerated stories for the telling

Brandy/Coke in plastic bottles, a natural chillbox on the ground
Kid takes one big swig and promptly sprays it all around
Can't be a spit-take, I've been assured I'm not that funny
Maybe he's just sharing the wealth, like his maw does with my money

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Friday, 20 May 2022 21:57 (two years ago) link

Cops down the close today, chapped front and back and peered in windows
Then walked back out slowly, questioning the biddies
Young Laura was far too excited, leaned out the window, followed it like Love Island
Or Wagatha Christie or whatever, all I know is that cushion will need cleaning
"Boy stays there is dead" she said, maybe, or wanted for something
I spent the afternoon trying to recall if the tenant had changed
Cus all I recall of that house is the dog who tried to repeatedly kill my cat
Chased him back home and jumped at the window, snarling and drooling
Each time eventually his owner came down the lane to drag him home
A cheerful "sorry!", like oh deary me, it's happened again
Like as if he'd dropped crumbs on my carpet
As opposed to try to murder my best friend

Whatever's going on in there it'd take numerous bodies
To jump into the top 3 village dramas
1. pub explosion 2. impaled cyclist 3. "gun siege"
Actually I take it back, fuck that last one

That time some cars got keyed in some domestic shandybang?
More dramatic than "gun siege"
When the councillor didn't turn up to judge the dog show?
More dramatic than "gun siege"
When I spilt Swedish meatballs out that amazingly tasty wrap, and they bounced right down the front of my second best Busan Giants baseball shirt?
More dramatic than "gun siege"
If that boy has fell asleep and just isn't answering the door?
Eh, prolly statistically exactly the same drama as "gun siege"

The worst thing about "gun siege" to me
(not that girl who missed her birthday party, no one was turning up anyway, cus she stunk of piss, and her house stunk of dog)
But the daughter of the perpetrator, crying next day in school
Cus the elder girls were giving her grief

That was fucked up
I can't pass her in the street now without that flashing through my head

But point is, if that dog owner still lives in that house down the close
I've wished death on that boy repeatedly
Sicced the minature demons with their deathrays on him (never worked)
So if it is the same boy, and he is dead in there...

Good.

The Speak Of The Mearns (Jonathan Hellion Mumble), Saturday, 21 May 2022 22:31 (one year ago) link


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