bill simmons IS bill simmons IN the book of BASKETBALL

from a recent podcast:

Bill: "I tried to figure out who was the best 2 guard for every year since Bill Russell came into the league."

Ryen (noticeably appalled): "What is wrong with you?"

Bill: "I don't know. It didn't take that long."

Ryen: "OK, go through all 50."

lol. pretty amazing how bill made such a lucrative career out of just transcribing the stupid bar debates that go on in his head (and now as podcaster he doesn't even have to transcribe them!)

was his stated premise from the beginning, can only tip your cap

Madone!!!! pic.twitter.com/hKiNGZ9Vsf

— Sigur Ross Geller (@killakow) April 27, 2022

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— Subscribe to the You Know Ball Patreon (@TrillBroDude) November 17, 2022

insight

hes not wrong

Great to have you back Bill, but could you please try something different next time?

the trade value column is a real throwback. im three entries in and he's already referenced tom sizemore and heat and compared rudy gobert's trade to a buddy buying an expensive pool table

he's really tiresome

annoying columnist was a more preferable role for him than annoying podcaster imo

I like listening to The Rewatchables on walks from time to time. I know a lot of podcasts fall under "middle-aged white guys sitting around shooting the shit," but this one works for me.

bill's dad was genuinely good on the game 7 post-game pod...

they also had an interesting note in there about watching butler at halftime make a bunch of threes in a row from the right wing & then the heat running the play to start the third q that got him the open pull up three from that spot (which he made). the simmons family doing a better job than TNT's sideline reporters

pic.twitter.com/efKQF6s7Az

— conspicuous leisure (@Inspectah8) May 30, 2023

never gonna feel bad for a fanbase that's gotten to experience 3 full lifetimes of unforgettable sports moments in a single decade but still what a brutal way to go out

idk it wasnt that bad, watching the games was kinda bad lol, getting swept wouldve been bad but they fought back and just didnt have enough in the tank

bad JB series and an injured brogdon was all she wrote. and they still made it interesting despite that.

some crazy shooting from the heat too

yeah didnt feel any worse than the 2020 one

celtics got one of the all-time ridiculous buzzer beaters

https://variety.com/2023/digital/news/prince-harry-meghan-markle-grifters-bill-simmons-1235647643/amp/

how did you guys not tell me about this!

tbf, ofc prince harry & his duchess are on the make. they have an expensive lifestyle and harry has no visible skills or talents to sell to support that. meghan could probably get back into acting, but she didn't sign up to support her wastrel husband.

bill simmons is absolutely right and it's funny as hell

lol get em

i did crack up at this when i heard it but never occurred to me it would make the news, which is my blind spot i suppose

its really on bill/spotify for not just having them do a show complaining about the royals

“you live in fucking montecito” lol

lol, i didn't realize bill had personally dealt with them, jeez

i’m completely baffled as to why he thinks this is a unique opinion……. not sure if it’s in this clip but he says on the podcast that he and rusillo and “5 others” believe that scoot is going to be a star

Scoot Henderson is gonna be a star — this is happening. Don’t say Russillo and I didn’t try to warn you. pic.twitter.com/5zbfFw15dn

— Bill Simmons (@BillSimmons) July 10, 2023

very brave of bill to say this

scoot fell one spot in the draft no one believed in him

"fuckin carries himself like an alpha" lol cant believe you guys listen to this shit

shd also be mentioned the "scoot can get by anyone" is far from a settled fact and wasnt even true in the game bill is freaking out over, he took a bunch of short pullups

he had one halfcourt layup and even that was boarderline transition, could see him being one of those good all around guys who never quite puts it together efficiencywise, a lot depends as it does in the nba on "how good can he shoot"

i didn’t get to see the scoot game but the way he’s describing him is something you’d typically hear about a player who is closer to being maxed out physically than one with limitless potential

yeah def a guy whos more physically mature than his peers, and is also just a beast

Scoot seems like a fun and charismatic dude. He may have more "star power" than, say, Lillard, who is great at hooping but pretty boring off the court.

that bill dialog on scoot was hilarious, dude is yelling at no one.

inventing a guy to be smarter at basketball than

look no one is saying this! I’m the only guy! but based on 11 minutes of summer league mark my words the guy who was the consensus one pick if 7’4 kd didn’t exist — he’s gonna be a huge star and nobody knows it

bill is the king of pretending like he alone thinks a well regarded player is really good (evan mobley is the previous version of this) but the scoot stuff is particularly absurd given that he was by any measure one of the most hyped prospects in years

he compared dude to prime russ, rose and cp lmao.

well he's far from the only one to compare scoot to russ and rose. but that's kinda the point

This election is going to be the most unpleasant of our lifetimes. It’s impossible to think what could possibly make it wor— pic.twitter.com/diSuJLK4zh

— Isaac Chotiner (@IChotiner) August 15, 2023

jesus

this one was funny

https://x.com/billsimmons/status/1691930025648369827?s=46&t=delhXlmZBYazm252j4iaFA

prob what happened more or less

yeah it seems fairly obvious (and predictable!) how it went down

yeah it's all reasonable my only note is that if philly *did* promise a wink wink deal a lot of these things could be seen as harden's camp (awkwardly ) keeping the pressure on to make that happen. i don't think it's like one or the other.

the one no-doubt thing is that he assumed he had a houston backtop option as leverage until he didn't.

I have a physical revulsion to this word and can’t wrap my head around how or why anyone would use it 5 million times in an article let alone write “let us not pretend the word doesn’t rule.” Wtf. I’m sure Bill personally had nothing to do with this Ringer abomination but not sure where else to put this. Is there a thread about the mainstreaming of 4chan incel culture or some shit?

The Official Taxonomy of Cinematic Cucks

Cuck cinema is having a mainstream moment. Song and her husband, Justin Kuritzkes, have independently written (and in Song’s case, directed) two films centered almost exclusively on the act of cucking. That’s the aforementioned Past Lives, in which Greta Lee cucks John Magaro until they hug it out, and the upcoming Challengers, in which Zendaya appears to cuck Josh O’Connor and/or Mike Faist. (Side note: After being set for a September 15 release date, Challengers has now been postponed to 2024, no doubt for fear of an excess of Hollywood cucking.)

Sure, “cuck” has had a long and winding journey to its current moment in the cinematic spotlight, from Geoffrey Chaucer’s use of “cuckold” to cuck’s place as the insult du jour of myriad far-right trolls. But let us not pretend that the word “cuck” itself, with its monosyllabic brevity and hard consonant punch, doesn’t rule. Let us also not pretend that during the last several years, it has not become (for better or worse) something far more universal, its definition stretching from “insult for a man whose wife is cheating on him” to a sort of catchall for any spineless or subservient specimen.