Marilyn Haggerty's amazing Olive Garden review and the subsequent viral shitstorm

ack sorry Tracer

not at all, it is screaming to be acknowledged

Ethan Moore
does interiors and exteriors
you can look it up

my portraits are my still lifes

Look at the paved parking lot, Larry

It's beautiful.

https://i.imgur.com/TTOK5uY.png

https://i.imgur.com/efi4ZCX.png

"you ordered the macaroni and cheese. i ordered the french onion soup. and of course, for dessert we enjoyed cheesecake"

Cheesecake Factory at the mall, where the magic happens.

i knew from the moment that we both suggested cheesecake factory at the same time that we belonged together

A Cheesecake Factory in Grand Forks would be Michelin-quality food, you snakes.

Dear Marilyn, these 1530 posts are all for you. Accept them with pride.

xp It's probably worth the drive to Minnetonka, then.

If someone suggests Cheesecake Factory as a first date in Atlanta, run, do not walk, in the opposite direction.

Wallace Stevens:

They bump their way down country roads. They are piled high in trucks.

This weekend around Grand Forks, potatoes are the king and queen.

Potatoes were ready to be riding high among the floats and marching bands in the Saturday morning parade.

Recipe books from days gone by tell the story. Long live the potato pancakes.

Let be be finale of seem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.

That fourth paragraph comes out of nowhere:

GRAND FORKS — Archives Coffee House attracts a fair share of customers throughout the day on the UND campus. This weekend it is bound to draw those on the campus for homecoming — before, during and after the Saturday parade.

Earlier this week, the Monday morning customers were gathered around tables of both high and low design. We ordered and picked up our coffee at the counter and found a place to sit.

There are some who pass the Archives by. There are others who make regular stops and often meet others there.

And the place is so homey that it even has a spot for well behaved dogs.

"tables of high and low design"

She disliked bars and bodegas. A clean, well-lighted cafe was a very different thing.

a clean well-lighted dog

Everything tastes of liquorice. Or dog biscuits.

looking through a french onion soup remix:

Memories were flowing when entering
the never ending ages
in the middle of the day.
Servers seem
A steady stream
throughout the tiara
misu and cheesecake
come and go
in the large, surrounding lot
in three different sections.
There are
tiara misu windows all around and overlooking
the large, cheesecake paved parking lot.

There are others who meet others there.

"There are some who pass the Archives by."

I don't know this Borges story.

yes you do

The model of the Archives was as large as the Archives itself.

Servers seem
a steady stream
customers come and go
Servers seem
a steady stream
in the large, surrounding

(That's what we go for, to be served steady)

I have had only one experience at an Olive Garden, it was at a celebration with relatives I didn't previously know in El Centro, California after my sister-in-law's funeral. It was a fantastic meal and with it I felt like I was being folded into another new family

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-4b6x2FR5Q

the sauce is boiling like lava of mount doom

the worst part about eating cheesy pasta is when it's incredibly hot and then the congealed, burning cheese layer detaches from the rest of the food and reconnects with your human, burning face

it's so hard to maintain composure as the staff asks if anyone is a doctor

My cousin waited tables at an Olive Garden when he was in college. There were some regulars who would order water and breadsticks--"And keep the breadsticks coming."

i always wondered if the staff kept track of what the record was for the breadsticks

Silently hoping for someone to explode

oh man, you do not want to clean up a breadstick world record attempt failure

You break the record, you get to ring the bell

Customers appear to feel at home in this restaurant. The décor is pleasant and home-like. There is space to move around and visit with friends. The restaurant has been around Grafton for 38 years and has been its present location 13 years.

The menu lists six salad choices. And there are 20 choices of pizza. Pork chops are among six offerings of poultry and pork. There are eight choices of seafood. Steaks are listed. And liver and onions — rarely found available — is served with choices of potato and coleslaw.

There are 10 choices of burritos with tostados and enchiladas available.

This large facility seems to have something for everyone. The largest level is a step up. Some prefer the street level which also is large and comfortable. Service was especially friendly in the quiet of an early afternoon visit to the restaurant. A trip around the building leads to a community room and a pleasant restroom area.

Desserts are plentiful on the Shananigan menu. There’s cheesecake, Mexican fried ice cream, fudge brownie sundaes. Also lava cake, turtle cheesecake along with sundaes.

“rarely found available” an unusual clanger there from marilyn. not one of her best i’m afraid

This small review seems to have something for everyone.

what is a "pleasant restroom area"? Do they serve blueberry muffins in there

you’ll have to take trip around the building to find out. i wonder if Marilyn always takes a trip around the building, in search of community rooms or other hidden accommodations, or just when she needs to utilise restroom areas.

xpost Depends on how you ask.

you’ll have to take trip around the building to find out. i wonder if Marilyn always takes a trip around the building, in search of community rooms or other hidden accommodations, or just when she needs to utilise restroom areas.

― Tracer Hand

There is space to move around and visit with friends. The largest level is a step up.

Namaste!

Here's a letter to a friend in Florida hit by Hurricane Ian. The tone is weird: an affected affectlessness.

Dear Dave McFarlane,

I’ve been sitting by the English Coulee and eating a piece of pumpkin pie. You know how the Coulee wiggles its way from the west end of Grand Forks on up through UND.

And I have been wondering on the cool days lately where I put my gloves.

This is the week for Columbus Day, although it doesn’t get too much attention anymore. When I was in grade school we had to memorize a verse that started saying something like, “In 14 hundred and 92, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.”

Thanks for sending along an update on your recovery from the wild weather down there in Florida. You say it is in a way reminiscent of the flood of 1997 here in Grand Forks. Back then, some blamed the weather service here for saying the flood level would reach 49 feet when it ended at 54 feet.

In Fort Myers you say they predicted a storm surge of 6 to 8 feet landing in Tampa. And on the day of the day of the hurricane they changed the landfall to Fort Myers to a 10 to 14 feet surge.

Then they placed your community in a mandatory evacuation zone. And it was too late by then as the winds and rain had already started. And you had no place to go.

You made it through the storm. You had no place to go.

Well, at least you are very impressed with the clean-up process and the way things are going.

Now that you are cleaned out, you say you are trying to estimate the extent of the damage. Your home looks good, but you say it took a beating.

And you had no place to go.
You had no place to go.

Now that you are cleaned out, you say you are trying to estimate the extent of the damage.

And I have been wondering on the cool days lately where I put my gloves.

She should be Poet Laureate

And I have been wondering on the cool days lately where I put my gloves.

- Sei Shōnagon

every sentence the punchline of a kōan

And you had no place to go.