It's ok to write poems and put them here

King's Highway and Skip to my Lou are the highlights for me

king's highway is a true story! it happened just the other day. it was simultaneously the most intense exercise i've had in several years and a very, very sad experience. i couldn't really capture any of it. the saddest part was the end, when the dog darted down a sidepath and through someone's backyard yet again, and i knew i was giving up. she had done this maybe 5-7 times already, in the past 20 minutes of chasing, and each time i would run down the street, up the alleys and behind the backyards, and somehow i'd catch a glimpse of her running off somewhere else, always 100 feet away, and i'd kept going. but this time i was just out of breath, and also i had run into the owner one more time and she was a walking drug casualty, just laughing off her dog sprinting through heavy traffic and near accidents and some weirdass stranger running all through the neighborhood after her, asking "did any of you see an off leash dog?" and getting absolutely ZERO answers from anyone, from a dozen different people, just nothing

My uncles are overly mouthy
They have no idea just what is coming
My and my brother just sit and smirk
We both know fine well

My uncles aren't really my uncles
they're like my cousins, once removed? twice removed?
Don't get me wrong, they're really fine fellows
Just no brains in their heads

My brother takes me outside
Wants to smoke a CIGAR with me
Oh ok, but this makes me dizzy
I prefer heroin

Back inside, plaster on a smile
(I'd made a visit to my room, there was heroin)
Those same uncles still in my face
They don't know about the coming flood

And then two years pass
The flood came, I live on the hill
My uncles live in the valley
Don't know what came of them

Actually I need to replace that line "they don't know about the coming flood", I'd rather leave the flood unmentioned until it actually arrives, ken? Otherwise I'm happy with what I just wrote right now

"they don't know about the heroin" I suppose is the relevant substitute

I went back to my room
Stumbled once, hit my knee on the sink
Not a big deal, let's get back to it
Some conversation about football

^^insert that in there

haha, i like these uncles! these dumb butts talking about football, taking over your space

Reconciliation

We’re sitting in your garage, this evening
with the wide door open and it’s 46 degrees
two lawn chairs and two hot teas
peppermint of the Bigelow with no caffeine

It’s been 9 months since I talked to you
It’s been 10 and a half since he died and
It’s been 12 months since he went to the hospital

My neighbor is of the same belief
She feels sorry for me
she says the vaccine causes mass infertility

Last week I scraped the ice off her car, my neighbor’s car
It took about half an hour
and I felt like a good son
or a good someone who managed to do a good something
I thought I used to do a good something everyday
Now I write a poem to commemorate

We poured dog-friendly salt on the stairs to the street
She has a job caretaking for the elderly
and has your same first name and is of the same age
but in other ways she is nothing like you
She’s an artist with her own studio
She prays the rosary

Am I allowed near Avalon
if I don’t want to be
If I don’t know how to laugh
at a joke like that
When I’m still talking and no one’s listening
except myself, and barely at that

Yet I think I’m the only voice of reason
in this situation
The one who knew to stay inside
The one who knew it would get so bad
two weeks earlier than most people did
here comes the jeremiad

…
No, this time I don’t think I’ll share that
not this time, I still want you to laugh
and I don’t want you to get caught up
in the long tail unreasonable stuff
that the bulk of us seem to be stuck i

n

I heard a speedboat caught a wave and hopped
right over a dock
It started in the ocean
It landed in the bay
Someone was underneath the boat when it happened
I’ve never seen anything quite like that, they said
It flew right over my head
They were dry and he was soaking wet

I heard this same boat sped straight through the inlet
luckily the beachgoers took notice and fled
as the lifeguard took a video from the lookout perch
the back of an 18-wheeler opened up
and extended a ramp out into the water
the ship accepted the lift
twin mechanical amphibians
the boat slid up into the big rig
which took off with a pop and a shower of smoke

I heard a firetruck showed up in the aftermath
and as the crowd was dispersing some drunk man said
What are they gonna do, put out the ocean?!
and no one laughed or made eye contact
so this guy yelled it again, and his voice cracked -
Are they gonna put out the wa-ter?
the captive audience cringed and dispersed at greater distances
and a little kid kept asking Wait, what happened?

i am trying to be less longwinded

changed middle to

I heard this same boat sped straight through the inlet
luckily the beachgoers took notice and fled
as the lifeguard took a video from their lookout perch
the back of an 18-wheeler opened up
and extended a long metal ramp
the ship met the lift and skipped from water to land
mechanical amphibians
the boat slid up into the big rig
which then took off with a shower of gross smoke

one more once:

I heard this same boat sped straight through the inlet
luckily the beachgoers took notice and fled
as the lifeguard took a video from their lookout perch
the back of an 18-wheeler opened up
and extended a long metal ramp
the ship hit the lift and slid into the big rig
skipping from water onto land
mechanical amphibian
the truck took off and left a shower of gross smoke

Here's a short something I wrote back in 2008, working as a dishwasher in a restaurant in the middle of nowhere. I don't know if it's good or if it's embarrassing:

Over dishwater steam I witness
my gorgeous intentions crumbling.
Feta cheese over mixed greens.

Immersed in scalding water
my lobster-red hands reach for the stopper
and pull.

that brings up non-fond memories of washing dishes at long john silvers, back in the day
i was so slow, somehow, the slowest. the managers hated working with me because i'd still be washing the fucking dishes when they finished up the register

Aw, that sucks. The place I worked at was slow enough that I often had spare time to think up tiny poems I still remember 14 years later. I actually sorta liked that job. Free food and fairly low expectations.

me and my dog have a running gag about works in progress. they're called works in pawgress. :P

On tonight’s
unsolved mystery
An ordinary man
facing an uncertain destiny
pulled back the curtains
and dug beneath the leaves
a car pulled up into the driveway
he didn’t recognize the driver
he brought in some groceries
the blinds closed
the smoke alarm was out of batteries
the garbage can was overflowing
the dog kept whining
the key didn’t fit the lock
the basement door is open
the botched wood filling job
the siding is crumbling
the third floor balcony
the broken statue in the morning

soundtrack: ba-Dom ba-Dom-ba Dom bum, ba-Dom ba-Dom-ba Dom BING____

Z I hope you have a more permanent archive and a way to reach a wider audience, these are great and have a real "voice". Genuinely great writing for my money.

these are great

thank you both, that's very encouraging, i appreciate it!

i just keep them in the most permanent place of all: a Notes note called "uh oh it's poetry time again"

the most permanent tbd place on the internet:

http://zachtbd.xyz/poems.html

Unsolved Mystery

On tonight’s
unsolved mystery
An ordinary man
facing an uncertain destiny
pulled back the curtains
and dug beneath the leaves
a car pulled into the alley
an unrecognized driver
who brought in some groceries
the blinds closed
the smoke alarm was out of batteries
the garbage can was overflowing
the dog kept whining
the front key didn’t fit the lock
the basement door is wide open
the faucet and the drain are corroding
the botched job is still unfinished
the siding is crumbling
the third floor balcony
the broken statue in the morning

He parked up there near the river
near the fire that’s still burning
there is a road that goes over and around
someone is watching from the trees
observing an actor in an reenactment
describing the criminal act as witnessed
to a detective in a too-long tan overcoat
that brushes up against the wet grass
and the mud keeps them sliding
across the scene of the crime
this case has become rather slippery
the slate of evidence has been wiped clean

If you or anyone you know has any information
about the cases you've seen
please contact your local law enforcement officials
and tell them that you will be investigating
because you can’t count on them to follow-up competently
or promptly
or meticulously
or at all

Tell them that you’re filming a movie
a documentary about what may have been seen
one loud blue night by the cataracts
the spectacular cascades were hiding
the end of a span of life
a body with a water-logged chest
opposite of emptiness
could not catch a breath
when their life depended on it
and so they found the very end
and sunk into the bed

if you want to hear how i read it, complete with copyright infringement music, i put it here: http://zachtbd.xyz/poems/UnsolvedMystery.m4a

I’m not between jobs
I’m post-employment
Ask me to say that again
when I reach the end of my savings
when I’m digging under the bottom
to see how deep I can really go go
do you know what I mean?
Ask me to say that again, ‘I’m not between jobs’
and we’ll see if I really meant anything
when I was saying it
even as I was saying it

I don’t want you to worry about me
I’m as happy as I can be
I’m as happy as a clam
as happy as I’ve been since I was thirteen
right now, writing and worrying so much
burning down everything I touch
in some ways not much has changed

I thought I could be whatever I wanted to be
I should not have understood that literally
but I wanted so much to believe in that idea
I believed it myself for a nice long while

I’m speaking but you’re not listening
I don’t blame you
I tend to go on and on
I go on until I’ve had enough
and then — and there’s always an ‘and then’
when I know there should instead be silence
I keep on talking, it happened again
How many times can I forgive myself for this
and count on someone else to pay for my ticket

‘I’m set free, I’m set free, I’m set free
to find a new illusion’
I wish that were mine, but that’s Lou Reed

When I hear it I think of how many times
I have completely lost it only to find it again
Discovery, revision, and reinvention
Sounds like a decent life plan
but also suspiciously like a slogan
an ad campaign for Mercedes-Benz

“Discovery, revision, and reinvention
You’ll lose your mind in this car
You’ll never never want to step out of it
You won’t remember when it started
but you’ll know the pit is bottomless
two hundred horses pulling in the same direction
all to your benefit, the Mercedes Benz E350
Luxury, discovery, revision, and reinvention”
Do they still make ads like that

We should start on time
as in space, most of it is emptiness
we can live to the extent
that we can fill it up
and make a place in the vast expanse of nothing

there are countless endless long tails of the infinite
you can walk halfway to the end and then do it again
ad infinitum, that’s infinitesimal
that’s the quality of being indefinitely
reaching toward something that gets closer
in space but not in time
you’re always in motion but you never seem to arrive

I’m not between jobs
I’m post-employment
Ask me to say that again in a minute
when I reach the end of my checking account
and we’ll see how deep it really goes
when I’m digging beneath my bottom
God, I don’t want a digital wallet
Ask me to say that again, ‘I’m not between jobs’
and we’ll see how much I meant of what I was saying
of everything above, everything below
as much as one can, after reflection, say
as below, as above

I am not in love with thinking about money
it’s the kind of thing only a fucking prick
would spend their time with
I know it’s not right to speak of it
greasy wheeled spoonfuls with print of multiple licks
it’s the secret sauce of society
we all know that

I don’t want you to worry about me
I’m as happy as I can be
why, I’m as happy as a clam on a holiday!!
I’m as happy as I’ve been since I was thirteen
right now, writing and reading and trying not to worry so much
but also burning down everything I touch
in some ways not much has changed

I thought I could be whatever I wanted to be
I should not have understood that so literally
but I wanted so much to believe in that idea
I believed it myself for a nice long while

I’m speaking but you’re not listening
I don’t blame you
I tend to go on and on
for a real long while
I go on until I’ve had enough
and then — and there’s always an ‘and then’
but and then — and there’s always a but,
buts and thens, when I know there should instead be silence
and then when there finally is
I rev up the engine
and I keep on talking, it happened again
How many times can I forgive myself for this kind of thing
I know I’ll do it again

‘I’m set free
to find a new illusion’
I wish that were me, that was Lou Reed

When I hear it I think of how many times
I have completely lost myself in it only to find it again
Discovery, revision, and reinvention
Sounds like a decent life plan
but also suspiciously like a slogan
from an ad campaign for Mercedes-Benz

“Discovery, revision, and reinvention
You’ll lose your mind in this car
You’ll never ever want to step out of this car
in god we trust in our motor vehicle
You won’t remember when it started
but you’ll know the pit is bottomless
two hundred horses pulling in the same direction
all to your benefit, the Mercedes Benz
E350 Luxury
discovery, revision, and reinvention

Do they still make ads like that
They don’t make ads for the penniless
they do but that’s not the primary audience

I’m living for whoever is still believing
in the possibility of creating meaning
through living rather than waiting
for a truth which will never come to manifest
rather than waiting to die as a form of escapism
when I say GOP death cult I mean every bit of it
yes I’m on the left and I know you don’t care why
How long can I get by on
nothing but butter and bluster and gall?
Ask 45, it’s better not to think of it

If the clouds suddenly part
and the trumpets call and a
voice speaks down to us all
I will bow down in front of it
once and for all
there’s always a lower place you can fall
there is no bottom on a ball in space
there’s no end to the indefinite crawl

Met up in the Red Hall
I couldn't hear over the Three Degrees
So let's go for a walk
Have a smoke, have a talk

He gave me the lowdown
Sotto voce: "Hey, with friends like these..."
Then he just trailed off
Turned away, faked a cough

He said it would be be fine
No one would get hurt, it would be a breeze
I couldn't parse his wink
So I just asked for time to think

I should have known better
Bad things always tend to come in threes
The Boom-Truth and The Knife
Have never got me far in life

I told him I loved him
As an afterthought, in parentheses
Tacked it on to the end
Scanned it over, then clicked "Send"

I'm trying to deliberately leave out the important shit recently, like to the extent of deleting verses. All ominous threat-of-flood, no details of flood. Doughnut-shaped poems, all outside no middle.

Also taking on board what KM said about reading them aloud, so actually they maybe lose something without specific intonation and phrasing

oooh, i like that one quite a bit JHM, that's some good stuff!

whoa

sorry to post the same exact lines again, but i just came upon an interesting feature in sublime text, which i usually only use for programming stuff, back when i tried to do that. anyway, i wanted to see what the poem above, the one that starts with "we should start on time", would look like as a kind of long paragraph, kind of like how i usually post actually, oops. but anyway - that did not work, but instead i came upon sublime text's ability to randomize the lines of a selection, which includes line breaks, so that when it puts it back together it creates new stanzas and pairings. some of these new randomized sections are much better than what i was very much trying to do, ha! the matrix is real. jk

anyway, here's the sublime text-edit:

------

it’s better for my mental health, for all of us
that we can fill it up
How long can I get by on
Sounds like a decent life plan
I thought I could be whatever I wanted to be
and we’ll see how deep it really goes

‘I’m set free
flub infinity

you can walk halfway to the end and then do it again
right now, writing and reading and trying not to worry so much
when I’m digging beneath the bottom
through living rather than waiting
it’s the kind of thing only a fucking prick
Ask me to say that again, ‘I’m not between jobs’
voice speaks down to us all
yes I’m on the left and I know you don’t care why
on nothing but butter and bluster and gall?
I’m not between jobs

when I say GOP death cult I mean every bit of it
when I reach the end of my checking account
it’s the secret sauce of society
“Discovery, revision, and reinvention
but I wanted so much to believe in that idea
to find a new illusion’
but you’ll know the pit is bottomless
we can live to the extent
as w ith space, most of it is emptiness
I’m speaking but you’re not listening
that’s the quality of being indefinitely
I’m as happy as I’ve been since I was thirteen
Ask me to say that again in a minute
and I keep on talking, it happened again
I don’t want you to worry about me
I wish that were me, that was Lou Reed
I don’t know who I am
and the trumpets call and a
as below, as above
but and then — and there’s always a but,
in some ways not much has changed
for a truth which will never come to manifest
I don’t blame you
from an ad campaign for Mercedes-Benz

In God we trust in our motor vehicle
I have completely lost myself in it only to find it again
would spend their time with
discovery, revision, and reinvention
there’s always a lower place you can fa ll
and then when there finally is
I’m as happy as I can be
I know I’ll do it again

you’re always in motion but you never seem to arrive
and then — and there’s always an ‘and then’ with me

I am not in love with thinking about money
all to your benefit, the Mercedes Benz
and make a place in the vast expanse of nothing
for a real long while
I tend to go on and on
well, they do but that’s not the primary audience
You’ll never ever wanna step out of this car
I rev up my engine

as much as one can, after reflection, say
of everything above, everything below
When I hear it I think of how many times
we all know that
why, I’m as happy as a clam on a holiday!!
once and for all

(the same conclusions)
and we’ll see how much I meant of what I was saying
Do they still make ads like that

God, I don’t want a digital wallet

but also suspiciously like a slogan
in the possibility of creating meaning

Ask 45, it’s better not to think of it
They don’t make ads for the penniless

I go on until I’ve had enough
I’m not sure about that
there are countless endless long tails of the infinite
in space but not in time
but also burning down everything I touch
I will bow down in front of it
How many times can I forgive myself for this kind of reasoning
I’m post-employment
You’ll lose your mind in this car
I should not have understood that so literally
We should start on time
I’m living for whoever is still believing
there’s no end to the indefinite crawl
If the clouds suddenly part
I believed it myself for a nice long while
rather than waiting to die as a form of escapism
ad infinitum, that’s infinitesimal
You won’t remember how to start or end it
reaching toward something that gets closer

greasy wheeled spoonfuls with the mayor’s fingerprints
I know it’s not right to speak of it
buts and thens, when I know there should instead be some silence
E350 Luxury
two hundred horses pulling you in the same direction
Discovery, revision, and reinvention

i realize now what i need to do

My third(?) time on the stage
Let's be honest, prolly my last
a single clap rang out
everyone looked at their feet

I was taken aside beforehand
Told to behave, it kind of fucked me off
So I deliberately touched EVERYTHING
The uncles smirked, my mother didn't

Yeah, the drumkit's in my mother's attic
So there will be no rimshots tonight
My brother gave me a trombone
So I can wompwomp to my hearts delight

I'll just nod cus it's less painful than smiling
But I'll tell you one thing for free:
Next person says I "wash up nice"
Is getting stabbed in the face

On rereading I'd maybe switch the word "wash" to "scrub", it's less based in truth but sounds better

I can still see the smug expression
on your face
I'll wipe it off whatever it takes
The end of the world suits me fine
You'll get your comeuppance
and I'll get mine

Livestock, cheer up
Imagine the view from where I'm sat
Timothy's layering down one level
Curtis still acting smug as fuck

Nardise, no lies
Oh hey Young Laura, how ye keeeping?
Let's take a walk past that one boy's house
Just whistle and look away

don't swear, just, please
You cannae make up times like these
The kids did a runner from the taxi driver
And the park bench is still on fire

The Seven Sisters are multiplying
Ceylon's called Sri Lanka now
James Taylor's got some pretty broad shoulders
But they still chap on my door

Btw in that previous thing change "my mother didn't" to "my mother sighed"

Calmate ragazzo, don't get upset
That's just how we do it in Taranto
A slap to the head for your new haircut
A kiss from the priest for your onomastico

Come closer child, squat by my feet
My brother brung me this old banjo
Can't restring it, I'm enslaved by another man
If you're not feeling it please just go

He wears that Jazzmaster like a fashion accessory
I think he's hit it maybe once or twice
He might seem cool, but I've gazed into his eyes
I think he's got a two or vice

Middle-aged dads in button-dowm shirts
A bassist in a trucker hat
Not too impressed, but I'll fake for your benefit
"They're having fun, I'll give them that..."

Hush your tone and we might get a lock-in
If you'll just pay for one more round
Shout "THAT'S MY GRANDMA!" when that kid starts fiddling
Laura chuckles, no one else makes a sound

Franklin said "calm yer hands", he's probably right
I'm twitching all over the shop
Take the deep breaths like my mother telt me
But this arsehole's beeen burnt too many times before
Wise up kid, hold the yelp back
Just point two fingers and grin
Maybe pretend you're an adult
Flip the fag pack then exit

Benjamin says this autoharp has a "storied history"
Maybe Yorkston's but I forget if that's true
My father will visit if we let on where our house is
I mumbled "yes" then went back to my bed
I'm told to wave if he drives past the front door
I doubt it'll happen but come on, safety first
The rest of the crew are hiding out in the backyard
I'm doing pushups on the front lawn For. My. Sins.

I spent some time with a girl once
Didn't really know her, a friend of a friend
Repeatedly asked me to repeat what I yammered
She could never parse the last part

Turns out it was a misunderstanding
(in multiple senses of the word)
All my sentences ended in -ken
...what's that aboutken?

She took it as a final syllable
Rather than the nervous tic it was
", ken?" as punctuation at the end of the sentence
Because I'm scared by the shape of the room

I never do that sat at home with my lover
Or when I'm at my mother/uncle's house
But if you meet me in a pub, or some sketchy hangout
Please appropriately adjust your comprehension

So these days I'm trying to do better
Think all my words out before I speak
Pregnant pauses, do they make me seem deeper?
Or do they make me seem slow?

Used to go to Kenfest (this predates Succession)
That's fine, it's not the end of the word/world
Just don't ask me for my Destroyer ranking
Because that will always end with Ken

(there was a part about bonfires in there but I took it out which I'm rueful cus I like bonfires)

Also the death of Nicky Tesco somehow made me write like 8 paragraphs about my brother and his favourite song and our our teenage band and his sociopath partner who doesn't let him talk to me and how I have no way to contact him now and I've tried for hours now to turn it into verse but it ain't realistically happening and I shall spare youse the efforts but can I just say I'm drunk as fuck and I miss my little brother and pogoing in our shared bedroom til the record skipped and if you see him tell him I've still got that Sound Of The Suburbs 7", then make that "call me" hand gesture then go back to your crowd

I admit, I was happy
to feel the sharp pain
in my back come back
to feel freshly incapacitated
and unable to attend the class

The only required supply was Gesso
but I didn’t want to go
so I stayed home

I wrote an email to the instructor
explaining how I had been moving
music equipment from one floor to another
pushing heavy carts to and from the freight elevator
in an old building in the Lemp District

Then I spent that night painting
over a previous painting
rehabilitating it
bringing it back from the brink
documenting Lazarus with a photo
before putting him back in his cave

I woke up covered in sweat
She wrote back in all caps
Do Not Draw on the Canvas With Pencil
this class costs $200 and I missed $40 of it
I am level 34 in Elden Ring

I don’t want to find a new home
I don’t want to listen to the Gymnopédies again
I don’t want the door to close
I don’t want to sit on the stairs, listening

My dog wet my bed
I love her all the more for it

I no longer want to be outstanding
I only want to be happy
and when I fall out of it
as one must
to be able to come back
like a home, a happy home
that stays
which is on an old map

I want to nail the Chopin on my deathbed
in front of a captive audience
gathered to hear some final jokes
but I play a Nocturne instead
perfectly, the trill hits the optimum
my uncle says “I didn’t know he could play”
and I look back and say “and you didn’t know him”
and die, just like that
and my uncle gives everything to charity
every last cent

revised

I don’t want to find a new home
I don’t want to listen to the Gymnopédies again
I don’t want the door to close
I don’t want to sit on the stairs, listening

My dog wet my bed
I love her all the more for it

I don’t want to be outstanding
I just want to be happy
and when I exit
as one must
to be able to come back to the happiness
like a home, an old home
which stays in one place
in a telephone book
on an old map

I want to nail the Chopin on my deathbed
in front of a captive audience
gathered to hear some final jokes
but I play a Nocturne instead
I want to nail the trills, especially
my uncle says “I didn’t know he could play”
and I look back and say “and you didn’t know him”
and die, just like that
and my uncle gives everything to charity
every last cent
and then maybe he dies too

still ironing the kinks out of this one

-
How long can this last,
our pointless nightlong slog through
this soupy morass?

The soles of our shoes
are thickly coated with mud
and for what, a ruse?

Picking at this crud
with sticks that keep snapping off.
This path is a dud.

Now I have a cough
on top of holes in my gloves
I drink from the trough

Glasses all fogged up.
What if we went home, sweet home?
But who can we trust?

My mouth starts to foam
at the thought of how to leave.
Can I be alone?

I think I believe
there is comfort in structure.
I need some routine.

But I don’t know much.
Merely waking up some days
can take some gumption.

If a voice would say
Right Now, Immediately
Full Retreat, Post Haste

Could I hide my glee?
Should I be stifling my joy
while full on sprinting?

When I was a boy
I would laugh until it hurt.
Patched up corduroy.

An iron-on shirt
with characters from Star Wars.
Nails covered in dirt.

Now my throat is hoarse
From yapping about what ought
to be, in due course

Our expected lot,
Rather than boggy water
and depressing thoughts.

New cannon fodder
hanging on to ropes dangling
from helicopters.

Put a fork in me
How long would I sing a song
which has no ending?

I guessed for too long
at questions with no answers
but I was not wrong.

missiles fall on distant kiev
this counts as merely minor peeve
we knows what sides our breads is buttered
let no apologies be uttered
when all is said and all is done
a terrys lots a happy one
toe rag to riches, doughty yeoman
to cuntish twentieth century roman

― Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 March 2022 16:47 (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

what's sad is that this all started in an effort to be more concise. i get bored at some of my long poems while reading them, sometimes, so i'm sure it's much worse for everyone else. so someone suggested haiku but of course i needed more than 3 lines. still, 51 lines is shorter by my standards, and the average length of each line is only 5.667 syllables so it's faster than normal

here is the revised version, which is now called About Quitting

How long can this last,
our pointless nightlong slog through
this soupy morass?

The soles of our shoes
are thickly coated with mud
and for what, a ruse?

Picking at this crud
with sticks that keep snapping off.
This path is a dud.

Now I have a cough
on top of holes in the gloves
I found in the trough

Glasses all fogged up.
What if we went home, sweet home?
But who can we trust?

My mouth starts to foam
at the thought of how to leave.
Can I be alone?

I think I believe
there is comfort in structure.
I need some routine.

But I don’t know much.
Merely waking up some days
can take some gumption.

If a voice would say
Right Now, Immediately
Full Retreat, Post Haste

Could I hide my glee?
Should I be stifling my joy
while full on sprinting?

When I was a boy
I would laugh until it hurt.
Patched up corduroy.

An iron-on shirt
with characters from Star Wars.
Nails covered in dirt.

Now my throat is hoarse
From yapping about what ought
to be, in due course

Our expected lot,
Rather than the swamp water
and negative thoughts.

New cannon fodder
hanging on to ropes dangling
from helicopters.

Put a fork in me
How long would I sing a song
which has no ending?

I guessed for too long
at questions with no answers
but was I all wrong?

-
i think it sounds nice read aloud, because of the interweaving rhyme scheme and the concise, consistent number of syllables from the haiku setup. i recognize that without constraints, i just go on and on and on, here and in what i work on, whether i'm painting and accumulating or recording a million tracks or talking endlessly. it's good for me, at least occasionally, to get a STOP signal, or at least a small box to put things in

here is a spoken version