Artist-specific music jokes

I once read a dialogue in the Megg and Mogg comics something like, "Dude, you just pulled a Thurston Moore!" And I thought that was kinda funny I think.

Q: Why don't Stereolab go on any long pub crawls?
A: Because they just go back and forth between the first two bars.

Good one

Courtesy of my sister:

Q: Who is the most accommodating R&B singer?
A: Mary J. Oblige

Who is the most soothing hip-hop artist?

Succor MC

Ha ha ha

Which prog rock band were the biggest dicks?

Genital Giant

I was robbed at a gas station in NJ last night. After my hands stopped trembling..I managed to call the cops and they were quick to respond and calmed me down..... My money is gone.. the police asked me if I knew who did it..I said yes.. it was pump number 9…

— ICE T (@FINALLEVEL) March 24, 2022

if ice-t bought an electric vehicle would he have to change his name?

which gay pop band sucks the best?! raw blow featuring kneel and bob!

Q. Who's the house band for the You Tube interview show Hots Ones?

A. The Red Hot Chili Poopers

What appetizer did Phoenix always ask for on their tour rider?

Hot wings.

One I made up:

When Judas Priest went acoustic, people shouted 'JESUS!'

What special treatment to disco stars get in hospital?

A neater ward

Lol dl

How do you know when Lars Ulrich is at your door?

Your Enter Sandman download is at 95%

a+ dog latin!

yes! a+

...I liked the neater ward one too...

Yeah that was a good in!

What takes care of business and drives cats CRAZY?


Bachmann Tuna Overdrive

Did you know Andy McCluskey has taken up falconry? He also has a love for cleaning houses with the lights off.

Yes, that's right: old kestrel man hoovers in the dark.

that's good shit

tears

The version I'm used to is where he has a hawk and a kestrel on each shoulder

So I hear Thom Yorke has a new band. What’s it called, OK Boomer?

Bono and The Edge walk into a bar. The barman goes "Oh no, not U2 again."

Lol

Jacques Brel walks into a bar. The barman says, "Why the long face?"

Why couldn’t Jimmy Page make a phone call?

Because he had No Quarter

Not a verbal joke, but a one-panel sight gag: a modern-day descendent of the California Raisins named Lana Del Raisin.

First music journalist: I hear you’re going to interview Steve Reich?
Second music journalist: Yeah, that’s right.
First music journalist: Cool, but whatever you do, don't ask him about the bloody weather, you'll never hear the end of it.

Third music journalist: Ask him to name the toy cars he used to play with as a boy.
SR: Dinky, Dinky, Dinky, Dinky, Tonka, Tonka, Tonka.

this one only works with excessive headbanging, air guitar and mouth-guitar-noises, before the audience looks blankly and says "sorry, the young who?"
...and that juicy tumbleweed moment is the punchline

the young gods walk into a bar.
barman says:
hey, why the
Longue route comète
Aujourd'hui est de fête
Nous avons fait longue route
Donne-nous le ciel à boire

Longue route mes yeux
Oh longue planète bleue
Nous avons fait long feu
Et nous brûlons encore

Car la nuit... est D'ACCORD!
D'ACCORD!

Q: What did Adam Duritz almost hit with his car?
A: A browwnn deeeeeerr

Q: What did Darth Vader say to the record store clerk who didn't have his favorite George Michael album?
A: "I find your lack of Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1 disturbing."

(sorry, his favorite album is what it is... I can't change it to make the joke work better)

What did Hughie Green say when asked if he was allowed to include anything by Jethro Tull or Beady Eye in a list of second albums by British rock bands he was making?

"Stand Up (1969) and BE (2013) counted."

Q: What did Darth Vader say to the record store clerk who didn't have his favorite George Michael album?
A: "I find your lack of _Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1_ disturbing."

What did Harriet Wheeler say to Jonatha Brooke in 1995?

"Here's where The Story ends."

Q) What's the first song on Blizzard of Ozz?

Hahaha

I don't know!

https://images.uncyclomedia.co/uncyclopedia/en/f/f2/Slimed.gif

Q: What did Darth Vader say to the record store clerk who didn't have his favorite George Michael album?
A: "I find your lack of Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1 disturbing."

― Day 1 fan (morrisp), Monday, May 22, 2023 3:24 AM (eleven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

LOL

That one took a LONG time to register for me, but yes, well done.

Did you know the "Ghostbusters" singer loves Disintegration?

Yes, Ray's for the Cure

...something about a festival celebrating English folk-rock held outside Rochester NY and it's called the Fairport Fairport Convention Convention.

That Darth Vader joke is amazing

Omg I just finally got it...lols

Yes it is a great act of misdirection where a pretty good joke is subverted by a different reference, which causes you to reevaluate your expectation and uh zzzzz never mind, analyzing a joke kills a joke.

Nevertheless I got it despite anticipating where it was going