start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

"People come up to me all the time, asking, bro, how did you get so ripppppppped!?"

This play is the 'pick n' roll' of advertising. It's "I was a 98 lb. weakling, until Charles Atlas made a man of me" all over again.

Doing an image search on Google now being a stupid two-stage process where first you have to let Google Lens fail to identify what you're looking for.

On chrome desktop:

1.) Go to chrome://flags/

2. Find "Search your screen with Google Lens"

3. Select "Disabled".

Oh I was so bitter until I discovered this neat trick.

FANTASTIC THANK YOU MARRY ME!

Well, ok, but to do that, you're gonna have to go into chrome://preferences/...

i get like 3 emails a day from healthcare.gov the URGENT DEADLINE that does not apply to me

Lol pplains

Seriously, though, you have dramatically improv3d the life of someone who has to do a lot of image research.

Yeah, thanks for that as I was too lazy to google "how to fix google"

People. Who. Write. Their. Social. Media. Messages. Like. This.

With the clap emoji in between each word. Barf.

https://i.imgur.com/nD7k3sY.jpeg

https://c.tenor.com/7baGupVFfFIAAAAM/jenn-jenn-robbins.gif

Those memes that start with "Nobody:" or "Literally No One:"

First of all, the blank space after the colon makes no fucking sense. Nobody said nothing? Second, it's become a meme where you can post literally anything you want in the second box. The meme has basically just come to mean "here is a crazy/funny/weird/fucked up thing" and the first box is just a way of memeifying "here is a crazy thing" without adding anything.

It means

Nobody:

Is to infer that life was continuing on as normal, nothing had been said to draw out the bullshit/strange opinion or whatever is being mocked

I know what it's supposed to mean. But it's an implied double negative, and also, that's what always happens? Life is continuing on as normal and then something happens. Nobody: COVID 19: pandemic! Nobody: My Plate: fall down and break!

I get annoyed when people attribute human error to the quality of a product.

for instance, we're playing this dumb game on Twitch right now called Make It Meme, which is a silly 3 round game where you...make memes and vote on them, usually these games take 5-10 mins. figured I'd play one or two before bedtime.

this host turned off the timer for voting and made it so only she could advance to the next meme, and keeps falling asleep at the wheel and not advancing, so every vote is like 1.5 minutes, so this game has taken like 45 minutes, and everybody is complaining "this game sucks, it takes too long to vote".

no, the host just fiddled with the settings and for whatever reason decided to stretch out a 10 minute game to almost an hour!

Pretty sure your host was in my last fantasy football draft.

Lol

I have the same conversation with my mother every week.

"Rob, did you get a code for the Amazon hub?"

"No."

"That doesn't make sense, Amazon says my package was delivered"

"Mom, did Amazon themselves deliver it, or did they use USPS?"

"I don't know"

"Only Amazon delivery drivers use the hub. A package doesn't go there just because you ordered it from Amazon"

"Oh"

People who end every email that includes a question with, "Please advise", when did this become a thing?

I can't say, but I do know that a lot of people (not you) read their emails inattentively so that "please advise" is like the writer jabbing their elbow in the recipient's ribs, saying "hey wake up! I asked a question!"

Maybe makes sense. I think there are some cases where it is entirely warranted, there are just a few people that seem to use it so often that it sometimes ends up non-sensical. The specific email that prompted my post earlier was, essentially, "hi, could you send me floor plans for that building? Please advise." It was just weird.

Some people have a way with words. Others not have way.

lol

I take "please advise" to mean "I am unable to make decisions or take any initiative on my own, so in your response, please tell me exactly what I am to do, down to the unnecessary minute detail, because if you don't, I'll send a follow-up email".

I tend to only use it in the most jabbing, passive-aggressive way possible. "Hey, are you going to do that thing I asked you to do three days ago, or what? Please advise."

"My advice for you is this: Yes."

Imo it's a way of saying "I need you to answer this email" when they might have otherwise opted to pretend it wasn't their concern.

It’s up there with signing off with ‘Regards’ to show the sender is annoyed.

I'm tempted to send someone who repeatedly ignores my emails or annoys me with an email that simply reads, "As per my previous email, please advise," with no added context.

I actually use Regards genuinely :/

I always use it to mean 'you fucked this thing up, you tell me how you think you can fix it'

HERE IS THE TRANSLATOR FOR WORK EMAILS:

"As per my previous email" = "stop sleeping, asshole, and give me what I asked for!"

"As I previously stated" = "I fucking told you this already, can you read?"

"As a reminder" = "You done fucked up, and I'm CCing your boss on this email"

"While I'm open to <idea>" = "I'm not actually open to it, I just need to say that first so I can drop the hammer and tell you what we're going to do instead"

"Can you help me understand why..." = "You did something stupid, my mind is made up, I just want to know why you did the stupid thing"

When someone's been ignoring you, what's a good way of nudging them? It's fraught!

I tend to say something like "Just following up on this. Let me know when you've had a look at (x)"

There are only so many ways to politely remind someone of something!

i'm pretty gentle if I sent an email to someone that I know gets thousands of them a day, and I didn't send them a ping on MS Teams or anything. I only get annoyed if someone acknowledges the email and doesn't do the thing they said they were gonna do.

when I moved to project management, first thing I noticed is that those pleasantries went away. people just attacked each other.

in a way it was at least nice to avoid the faux niceness, but on the other hand, it was pretty toxic

Ahaha as someone whose plans often fail under the pressure of reality, it does suck to have set something up perfectly and then have the players not play their parts. I'm trying to love people more than I love my little solutions but it's not easy.

yeah it wasn't for me. because my solution was always "fuck it, i'll do it".

When someone is ignoring you on email, never ever minimise your nudge with ‘just’ or ‘sorry’.

for real ^^

if someone is deeply ignoring me & its job-critical stuff i have cc’d a supervisor if i know who that is, incredible how quickly you get responses (though it is a last resort)

my job is administrative & it is amazing how many ppl ignore my messages just because my function is seen as less important or they dont normally deal w me & just blow me off . if i get a salesrep to escalate the issue to the ignorer they pop right up. drives me insane

Taking sides:

"Please do the needful."

vs.

"Herewith fail not at your peril."

Celebrities who are good at one thing and then get attention for something else they are not good at. Jeff Goldblum just posted this video of him playing and singing "jazz" and it absolutely SUCKS, like it is not even average/mediocre, and there are all these comments like "wow, amazing he is multitalented!"

doing one thing well is a lot rarer than you are allowing for

doing one thing well and another thing half well and also being funny and popular is not as easy a sell but is possibly a more accurate description of this annoyance

a super strong contact adhesive that is a liquid bu squeezes out of a tube.
Does that work for anybody. Just finding the amount that comes out not easily controlled and i has warning about how easy it i sto stick things together with accidentally, eyes, fingers etc. Just would have thought you would keep it in somewhat more stable, gell like form because of that. Or does that mean it would just bottleneck in the tube and get stuck there. I dunno. NOw hoping that thing i was trying to glue has actually had the glue applied evenly but can't see that happening. Which means that it probably won't be liquid tight. Oh well.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CZarfKDKqX3/ this shit.

a super strong contact adhesive that is a liquid bu squeezes out of a tube.
Does that work for anybody. Just finding the amount that comes out not easily controlled and i has warning about how easy it i sto stick things together with accidentally, eyes, fingers etc. Just would have thought you would keep it in somewhat more stable, gell like form because of that. Or does that mean it would just bottleneck in the tube and get stuck there. I dunno. NOw hoping that thing i was trying to glue has actually had the glue applied evenly but can't see that happening. Which means that it probably won't be liquid tight. Oh well.

― Stevolende, Friday, February 4, 2022 6:39 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Also this, I always think I just suck at using them, but everything I've ever used gorilla glue type products for winds up a mess and then doesn't hold anyway.

People who attribute the pissiest of things, like finding a good car park space, to the efficacy of prayer

The fortune cookies at my local Chinese takeaway have become ads for bitcoin. This isn't my post, but it is the exact cookie I got the other day. https://www.reddit.com/r/Wellthatsucks/comments/r8uz0v/my_fortune_cookie_is_just_an_ad_for_bitcoin/

It's a betrayal of my natural desire for good fortune!

People who attribute the pissiest of things, like finding a good car park space, to the efficacy of prayer

― Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Sunday, February 6, 2022 11:17 AM (ten hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

nothing irrational about being angry at this imo