execrable children's programming pox

Wolfoo lol

there's a lot of copyright infringement going on

at first I dismissed it as a cheap attempt at piggybacking off of Peppa but the plotlines are like...actively harmful. characters are constantly getting hurt or sick, stealing things, getting locked up in jail or otherwise trapped in a small space, everyone is always either angry or crying, and there's never a good lesson anywhere. I get overwhelmingly bad vibes from it and wouldn't be surprised to find there's some sinister element of child psychology they're exploiting to get kids to click on it.

i haven't seen this show you're describing and really don't want to but your description is making me think of this article which made me lose sleep

https://medium.com/@jamesbridle/something-is-wrong-on-the-internet-c39c471271d2

Yeah, reading about all that Peppa Pig Gets An Abortion and Spiderman Gets Tortured stuff is basically why our kid isn’t allowed to watch YouTube on his own. Even on Kids YouTube he once came across an instructional video for How To Build An Electric Chair in Minecraft.

This is from 2017 but it’s clearly still going on.

https://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-39381889.amp

ugh just the screencaps in that bbc article are churning my stomach all over again.

i so don't want to be a helicopter parent but it's really hard to let kids explore the world independently when so much of the world they want to explore is online and it's so easy to stumble into this shit

i have this idea for what seems like it would be a very profitable youtube channel:

the fred rogers crayon video https://www.pbs.org/video/mister-rogers-neighborhood-how-people-make-crayons-1/ but about new/more stuff.

that's the idea. if this channel exists please tell me.

kind of like this guy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=captainrani but a bit more accessible to younger kids and done with library footage (but crucially with the with the same "i just took 6 benedryl" narration style as that guy and fred rogers).

library footage like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twentytruck.

feel like you could put these together pretty cheaply, and parents would be OK with them because they would be chill, and kids would like them (or at least not hate them relative to pj masks or some shit). i know my kids would go for them.

ah links to youtube channels don't work.

first link

second link

Here's the Kideodrome thread, I think it was prompted by that Medium article Lavator posted: KIDEODROME: scary "Kid's Youtube" algorithms, fringe programming, insert conspiracy theory here

thanks but i posted here on the basis that my idea is execrable!

things are definitely much better than they were 2017 - I remember taking a nap w/ my 3 year old as YouTube was playing Cocomelon (called ABC Kids TV back then) and when I woke up it was some really bizarre live action thing with adults dressed as Elsa and Spiderman eating a gigantic gummy worm. it was so fucking weird, too gross to be sexual but the camera swung around like a porno, idk it really gave me the creeps. Most of it is gone but it does occur to me now that Wolfoo is maybe an attempt to do those sorts of videos without immediately getting copystruck. The whole thing is like creepypasta for kids.

also found the whole Bounce Patrol thing unsettling, I know it's just knockoff Wiggles but clearly the videos they are making are attempting to take advantage of The Algorithm. so despite being kind of wholesome on the surface there's some real creepiness behind it.

thanks but i posted here on the basis that my idea is execrable!

ah right! there's also the kids should see this which is just where i dump youtubes my kids get into.

everyone is always either angry or crying, and there's never a good lesson anywhere. I get overwhelmingly bad vibes from it

the makers of Wolfoo seem to feel obliged to at least pretend it's good for kids (article is sponsored by SCONNECT, a "Vietnam-based entertainment company" which produces Wolfoo:

At Wolfoo, each episode is more than just entertainment. All the videos impart positive social life lessons and focus on the development of 12 personality traits and skills for children: courage, gratitude, compassion, empathy, humility, integrity, persistence, creativity, curiosity, self-control, teamwork and communication.

https://www.list.co.uk/article/124851-wolfoo-is-dominating-youtube-for-kids/

I think I've figured out what bothers me so much about Wolfoo: it's utterly soulless. Nearly all kids' programming has *some* level of emotional involvement in its characters - it's why the good shows, like Bluey, work so well for the parents (because the emotions and attitudes are so familiar), but even the bad ones have this to some degree. In Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, if a character is frustrated or excited, I can at least understand why - there's a plot, or the dialogue is delivered a certain way. In Wolfoo there are plots, I guess, but the characters themselves have no uhh...emotional continuity. The voice actors deliver their lines as though they have no idea what the plot is. I mean I surmised that the actors probably don't speak English, but they don't even seem to understand a single thing about what the episodes is about. It's as though they just have all their lines written down on a sheet of paper and given to them to record in one take. So you have things like the Mom laughing when her kids get hurt, or characters getting mad at each other and then becoming best friends 5 seconds later. The characters don't register as anything. Like, I probably would not enjoy watching Donald Duck get stabbed to death, but when bad things happen to the Wolfoo characters it's like watching someone drop a GI Joe down the stairs. I get this strange cognitive dissonance watching it. Like it's slowly eating away at your soul.

It's as though they just have all their lines written down on a sheet of paper and given to them to record in one take.

i guarantee you this is what happens

Bing you little shit.

it astonishes me that on netflix alone there are approximately 800 pre school team based cheap cgi shows worse than paw patrol. rainbow rangers this means you.

But low-budget children's media has always been cheap and souless.

Fingerbobs begs to differ!

My toddler is 2. My overton window for what is and isn't crap keeps expanding. Lately she's been into videos where adults play with toys of her favourite characters (Night Garden, Frozen, Peppa, etc) -- in fact she'd rather watch the toy videos than the original cartoons. But! They also seem kinda harmless and maybe even encourage imaginative play, even though I find them infuriatingly dull. I guess the Bluey marathons might have to wait to next year.

Daughter just turned two and a half. Her media diet is probably 80% Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, which, while it basically never winks to adults to offer them something for themselves, is about as unobjectionable as can be. However, there is a battle for her soul going on in the remaining 20%. This morning I gave in and let her watch Peppa Pig -- I know it could be a lot worse but all I can say is WHY WHY WHY do they have to pepper every few seconds of the show with those snorts? It's like nails on a chalkboard to me. Was there some market research or some shit that said kids would like that?! Hard for me to imagine...

We watched Daniel Tigers neighbourhood yesterday, after you mentioned it here – I never would’ve noticed it amongst the thousands of other identikit shows on Netflix otherwise. I wouldn’t say it’s a great show – but I’m glad she’s watching it instead of Peppa Pig toy videos on YouTube now.

I like the snorts! It makes it easier to do impressions. Don’t mind it as much as Morty’s repulsive belches which render that show unwatchable to me

Haha good connection - Rick and Morty definitely took the mantle from Peppa Pig on the curious choice to intersperse bodily noises with dialogue as part of your core aural aesthetic.

Daniel Tiger is not very high on the artistry/creativity scale but the characters all model kindness and are never annoying (ok, the repetitive songs can get annoying). More than a few of the lessons have been great tools in teaching things in our home from emotion regulation to trying new foods to toileting.

“Grownups come back” is a banger.

You’re telling me, i sing it as a bedtime song most nights (by request ofc)

I do like the piano flourish before the final verse.

My kids prefer the extended dance remix

Oh man Daniel Tiger was like a third parent for my kid. Def not meant for adults, but surprisingly effected. Grownups come back for sure. And one about going to the bathroom was big for us.

I still have those songs in my head, "You've got to try new foods cause they might taste good!"

Goo-oo-oo-ood!