Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

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lol lol lol lol / lol lol lol lol lol / lol lol lol lol

I actually was seriously thinking about this, like, is he gonna suggest you subdivide into three measures - 4, 5, 4 or 4, 4, 5 or ... years back I was in this experimental rock orchestra piece where the composer (who was self-taught) had a movement in 11/4 and it didn't really work out the way he intended. It was actually hilarious tbh ... because musicians in different sections cleverly suggested that we subdivide into 3, 4, and 4 ... but then couldn't agree whether it should be 3, 4, 4 or 4, 3, 4 ... based on how their section's part was written.

sarahell, Monday, 27 December 2021 18:48 (five months ago) link

Yeah, realistically, if given a piece like that I won't be counting, I will just be memorizing the tune and playing something that goes with it.

Back when I played jazz, people would give me advice about how to count a five or seven or thirteen or whatever and I'd nod sagely, say "yeah, got it." When the music started I would just do some amorphous brushing until the pulse became clear, then suss out some kind of ostinato that worked.

My college band played "Take Five" for years and I confess I never once counted to five. I'd just be singing "doo doot-doot-doodly-doodly doo doo" silently in my head the whole time.

; (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 27 December 2021 20:15 (five months ago) link

yeah, I think that's the smart way to go with those jazz gigs tbh ... I got nerdy enough about it to be able to count to five if needed, but musically, it would often sound stronger and tighter if I broke 5 out into 3 and 2. ... unless the piece was something where it would go from 6/8 to 5/8 ... but that was really just 1-and-2-and-3-and so ...

sarahell, Monday, 27 December 2021 20:19 (five months ago) link

I bow to your superior nerdery, sarahell.

Nowadays I am mostly on mandolin; everything's a multiple of four. When I try to break it down and explain it to someone, it just gets mushy. It is mostly a matter of finding the pulse, then putting accents where they make sense. If you're counting, you're probably lost.

; (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 27 December 2021 20:29 (five months ago) link

I'm so cringey I got hospitalised for it. I was put on the awk ward

Urbandn hope all ye who enter here (dog latin), Monday, 27 December 2021 21:28 (five months ago) link

three weeks pass...

the phrase "you got this!" / "i got this!" makes me want to commit seppuku

Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Tuesday, 18 January 2022 02:43 (five months ago) link

agree

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 January 2022 03:21 (five months ago) link

i see my embarrassment at this language use as entirely rational tbh ... the people whose use of it tends to make me cringe have "personas" that seem fake in other ways, like they are afraid to be authentic and use words and phrases that are what they are actually thinking

sarahell, Tuesday, 18 January 2022 21:38 (five months ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/A73jWyA.gif

pplains, Tuesday, 18 January 2022 23:31 (five months ago) link

ads that mention The Big Game because they’re not licensed to use the term Super Bowl

mookieproof, Monday, 31 January 2022 18:02 (four months ago) link

agred, also "superb owl" was funny exactly once, like 8 years ago, and repeating it does not help

Bill Kristol Meth (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 31 January 2022 19:53 (four months ago) link

wasn't even funny once

he's very big in the region of my butthole (Neanderthal), Monday, 31 January 2022 19:55 (four months ago) link

my dad always calls it the Stupor Bowl and i laugh every time

Tracer Hand, Monday, 31 January 2022 19:58 (four months ago) link

Superduper Bowl needs to make a comeback

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Monday, 31 January 2022 22:31 (four months ago) link

"The commercials are the best part!"

nickn, Monday, 31 January 2022 22:42 (four months ago) link

They should put the Puppy Bowl on network television!

pplains, Monday, 31 January 2022 23:18 (four months ago) link

the phrase "you got this!" / "i got this!" makes me want to commit seppuku

― Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Tuesday, 18 January 2022 02:43 (two weeks ago) link

agree

― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 January 2022 03:21 (two weeks ago) link

If you do, I will be there mouthing *you got this* as you do it

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 1 February 2022 13:22 (four months ago) link

one month passes...

lol

"first world problems"

Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Saturday, 5 March 2022 13:50 (three months ago) link

two months pass...

getting a haircut, especially at a new place:
* having to somehow explain in words what haircut you want "buh shorter on the sides and longer on the top?"
* being a captive audience for small talk with a stranger
* acting really impressed and appreciative when they show you the haircut, especially when they give you the little mirror that you have to figure out how to aim correctly to see the back of your own head "yeah that looks great! thanks! that looks good! uh huh ... looks good"

na (NA), Friday, 20 May 2022 13:16 (one month ago) link

oh and then obviously having just gotten a haircut for the next few days. just call me mr. haircut i guess. "somebody got a haircut!"

na (NA), Friday, 20 May 2022 13:17 (one month ago) link

lately, any time I open my stupid mouth and show any enthusiasm

mookie wilson shaggin balls (Neanderthal), Friday, 20 May 2022 13:19 (one month ago) link

<3 neanderthal, be kind to yourself!! <3

we need outrage! we need dicks!! (the table is the table), Friday, 20 May 2022 13:31 (one month ago) link

NA OTM.

"So what kind of work do you do?" or "Where do you work?" I mean, I do suppose I already know those answers about the guy who's asking, but still.

pplains, Friday, 20 May 2022 16:21 (one month ago) link

tbh this is part of the reason I have cut my own hair for the past 30 years ... though I think if I had to go get my hair cut by someone at a shop, I feel like I would want the same treatment as at the dentist ... give me something to knock me out temporarily, then wake me up when it's over.

sarahell, Friday, 20 May 2022 18:57 (one month ago) link

I always feel awkward getting my hair cut, and am mostly silent during the experience unless I’m chatted with. Part of it is not being apt at small talk, but I also figure it this way: the hairdresser probably has to gab with clients all day, whether they want to or not, since a perception of friendliness affects their tip. So maybe they’d appreciate a break where they can just focus on doing their job, rather than have a fifth variation of “got any plans this weekend". (A friend of mine was a waiter for years and would always tell me how she hated having to laugh at dumb jokes, flirts etc just to earn a tip.)

blatherskite, Friday, 20 May 2022 19:14 (one month ago) link

na otm, I will say that having a barber that can naturally draw me into a conversation without the fake, forced small talk made me feel way less self-conscious and awkward during the cut

a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 20 May 2022 19:17 (one month ago) link

the hairdresser probably has to gab with clients all day, whether they want to or not, since a perception of friendliness affects their tip. So maybe they’d appreciate a break where they can just focus on doing their job, rather than have a fifth variation of “got any plans this weekend".

otm

sarahell, Friday, 20 May 2022 19:17 (one month ago) link

this must be doubly awkward when they're working.. you know... down there

Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 20 May 2022 19:37 (one month ago) link

our dentist has a sign up that basically says "we understand that people get nervous at the dentist so if you don't want to chat just let us know," and basically i think that should be socially acceptable in all similar situations, to be able to say "look, i don't like small talk, you don't have to chat with me, it won't affect the tip." but this barber, obviously he was just chatting bc that's the normal thing to do to build a relationship and get a better tip, and i'd never used him before so i didn't feel like i could say "we don't have to talk" without seeming rude.

na (NA), Friday, 20 May 2022 19:39 (one month ago) link

i do think some of those workers really enjoy the social aspect of it

na (NA), Friday, 20 May 2022 19:40 (one month ago) link

I walk by the toenail parlors and it seems like most of the clients are just looking at their phones, while the aesthetician inhales noxious chemicals at their feet

Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 20 May 2022 19:44 (one month ago) link

* having to somehow explain in words what haircut you want "buh shorter on the sides and longer on the top?"

show them a photo instead

brimstead, Friday, 20 May 2022 19:44 (one month ago) link

this must be doubly awkward when they're working.. you know... down there

― Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, May 20, 2022 3:37 PM (thirty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Andy the Grasshopper, what exactly do you think hairdressers do?

Whiney G. Weingarten, Friday, 20 May 2022 20:14 (one month ago) link

Giving you curtain bangs on your pubes obvs

You should just tell people if you don’t feel like talking whether they are braiding your pubes or not.

Piggy Lepton (La Lechera), Friday, 20 May 2022 20:26 (one month ago) link

yeah, usually if you're looking for manscaping, you go to a place that does 'waxing' -- like they will advertise 'waxing' but they can also do trims. my friend has her "waxing lady" who is quite chatty, apparently, and told my friend that she has actually played matchmaker between clients based on "what they have done" -- she has female and male clients.

sarahell, Friday, 20 May 2022 20:30 (one month ago) link

though, Andy, I would want to hear about what happened if you went into one those barber shops on like San Pablo Ave. or MLK or International that do fades and braids and asked for a blended haircut around your balls

sarahell, Friday, 20 May 2022 20:32 (one month ago) link

I've been doing my own haircuts in the pandemic, but I'll let you know if I decide to try this

Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 20 May 2022 20:35 (one month ago) link

hhaaaa pretty sure they'd be looking at you like you were Mork from Ork

sarahell, Friday, 20 May 2022 20:44 (one month ago) link

I have been getting haircuts for half a century and:

1. I have had basically the same haircut since 1976;

2. While many barbers CAN talk with you about sports, the weather, or whatever;

3. Pretty much every haircutting person I have encountered is totally okay with not talking.

Ymmv of course but I have had several hundred haircuts that weren't fraught in the slightest. A couple transactions in the early 80s that were a bit awkward, but that is mostly when I was young and didn't know how to conduct myself in the adult world.

For me rn the biggest anxiety is having the right mix of bills to both pay and tip in one smooth motion. It is ubersatisfying to just hand someone $26 and not even need to say "keep the change," because it is obvious. If I have overpaid it is because I want you to keep the change.

Doris Day and the Time (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 21 May 2022 03:48 (one month ago) link

I like barbers who price the cut such that the next higher large bill combination makes for a decent tip.

nickn, Saturday, 21 May 2022 04:24 (one month ago) link

a la the school of $4 drinks

sarahell, Saturday, 21 May 2022 04:26 (one month ago) link

I also figure it this way: the hairdresser probably has to gab with clients all day, whether they want to or not, since a perception of friendliness affects their tip. So maybe they’d appreciate a break where they can just focus on doing their job, rather than have a fifth variation of “got any plans this weekend". (A friend of mine was a waiter for years and would always tell me how she hated having to laugh at dumb jokes, flirts etc just to earn a tip.)

The woman who cuts my hair told me that this is indeed the case, and that keeping up a flow of conversation all day is really draining.

Lily Dale, Saturday, 21 May 2022 04:37 (one month ago) link

nickn and sarahell, yes. My life has included times when a haircut was $8 and times when a haircut was $18, presumably for this reason. Lately I'm seeing $21 and $22. So if I have two twenties in my pocket I have to stop and buy a soda or something so that I have small bills.

Doris Day and the Time (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 21 May 2022 12:46 (one month ago) link

Tipping in general makes me embarrassed, but I think that's rational embarrassment, not irrational.

Lily Dale, Saturday, 21 May 2022 13:35 (one month ago) link

I've gone to the same stylist one and off for like 15 years, and we have enough in common that we've become friends (who don't see each other outside of haircuts, but that's partly because of geography). It's always nice to talk to her.

Otoh I went to a ridiculously baroque salon in Bath Beach, I think it might be Albanian-owned, has that Russian-but-make-it-spicy vibe. Leopard-print Rococo sofas and gilt mirrors, everyone is brusque and a little scary. I fell asleep during my cut and when I woke up I was basically a Marine. Should have stayed awake and been more specific/learned Russian.

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Saturday, 21 May 2022 15:25 (one month ago) link

getting your hair cut by someone else is a luxury imo, people who don't even think about it that way in 2022 are doing very well for themselves, just sayin.

the cat needs to start paying for its own cbd (map), Saturday, 21 May 2022 16:18 (one month ago) link

speaking from a male pov obv

the cat needs to start paying for its own cbd (map), Saturday, 21 May 2022 16:19 (one month ago) link

one of the reasons i have stayed w my hairdresser for so long is bc she is chill - we get along great & catch up but can go stretches w out talking & it’s totally nice

incessant probing small talk from makes me wary & defensive. i grew up in a small town & hairdressers were always the biggest gossips! (also in my town they usually started life as the meanest girls in school) i still hate that feeling of being mined for “juicy” info like they are feeding on yr life ugh yuk

not all hairdressers obv.

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 21 May 2022 16:21 (one month ago) link

I started going to a small-town men's barber bc it was only $30 as opposed to NYC prices ($100 is not "expensive" in NYC, shockingly), but if I'm being honest the cuts weren't as good. Then in 2020 I bought clippers & shears and have done all my own hair + my bf's since then. I'm ready for a real one though. My fades are a mess.

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Saturday, 21 May 2022 16:28 (one month ago) link

Making convo in the barber shop was combination innocuously embarrassing/infuriating, to return to topic. Chill dude vibes but also a surprise side of transphobia on one occasion.

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Saturday, 21 May 2022 16:30 (one month ago) link


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