Bartending

Got our most recent liquor order in 3 weeks after placing it -- they left off the peach schnapps, the item we were almost out of. So I said "fuck it," got the owner to order some peach flavoring, and I'm going to mock up a 40-proof substitute with vodka-sugar-water. I also faked blue curacao by adding blue food coloring to cheap triple sec. Fuckit.

Do it live. F’ing thing sucks

It's been heading downhill in '22. The price of fresh citrus went through the roof, a case of limes going from $55 when we opened to $140ish in early 2022, so the owners changed to prepackaged lemon and lime juices, which have a lot of pith-bitterness.

This town's diners and drinkers are shitty tippers -- my cash tips last week were five and a half bucks, and total tips were about $70.

The owners cancelled shift drinks and limited shift meals to the cheapest/least hassle menu items; the same week, their eldest son turned legal drinking age and started drinking free at the bar, top-shelf bourbon in his whiskey sours and no tips forthcoming. At the staff meeting announcing the cost cutting measures, the owner said "I want y'all to know we think of everyone here as family," so that was THAT spot on everybody's bingo card. Family-family drinks free, work-family gets a 20% discount.

I used to bring bottles from home so I could make fancier drinks for favored customers -- part of the effort of teaching this town to drink better -- and make things like ginger-lemongrass syrup and rhubarb syrup for the bar, but I don't do that anymore.

Tonight is the first HS home football game of the season, no help for me behind the bar, should be fun.

total tips were about $70.

this is absolutely shameful

Sorry man
I always tip $2 per bottle of Bud and $4 for a buyback , sounds I should come to your bar

“ part of the effort of teaching this town to drink better --”
Doing the Lord’s work

Someone asked for a Dream Catcher -- bourbon, Zucca, strawberry syrup, lemon, rhubarb bitters -- last night and I said sorry, no Zucca. But it was slow and I had a minute to think, so I faked up some Zucca with Campari, house rhubarb syrup and a little Fernet Branca and got damn close in flavor, if not color. No strawberry syrup but any fool can muddle a berry in some simple syrup. Customer approved.

The owners are buying the empty space next door and expanding the restaurant, planning on building a second bar and making the new space mainly a lounge with upholstered seating and coffee tables. The bar will be built from scratch, with input from actual bartenders about what infrastructure we need, unlike the first bar. I hope/think I'll be able to get a dedicated bar freezer where I can start producing large clear ice. The space used to be a pharmacy called People's Drug Co. so The People's Lounge is at the top of the list of names.

Consultation with employees, how unusual!

Whoa - was it one of these guys?

http://www.streetsofwashington.com/2011/11/once-ubiquitous-peoples-drug-stores.html

People's was the main drug chain in my area before CVS bought them up. I hold an undying grudge against CVS over the name change.

http://www.streetsofwashington.com/2011/11/once-ubiquitous-peoples-drug-stores.html

Wow, maybe so! I didn't know Peoples was a chain, I thought this was a locally owned standalone. It was still called Peoples until it closed in the aughts, which makes me think it wasn't part of the chain that sold to CVS...? I'll do some digging.

Of all the horrors I've made over the last three years, Double Malibu and Red Bull took the cake last night. Whoever they were, they had three of them.

Coincidentally, another customer came in who never orders from the menu, demands that I come up with something new each time, and says it has to have Malibu in it, and then comes up with stupid names for the drinks. Last night I told her "I let someone name a new drink last week but that's because he tipped me a hundred bucks" and that kind of got her to ease up for a minute. Anyway I did something served up with Malibu, rhubarb syrup and lemon, with syrup from a can of Amarena cherries in the bottom of the glass making it a layered drink. GAG. Anyway the demanding customer and one of her girlfriends LOVED the drink, and the other girlfriend said "Call it an Orgasm, because that's what they looked like when they were drinking it." We argued about names some more -- since it's pink and has rhubarb in it, one of them had the good idea of The Barbie. At the end of the night I said "I'm glad I was able to give y'all some orgasms" -- they fell out, high fives all around. I wrote the recipe for Barbie's Orgasm down but I'm not going to make another unless under duress. Coconut, rhubarb, lemon and sour cherry flavors in one drink? DOUBLE GAG

good lord, you should call that "The Hangover"

Came here to post a v weird drink someone ordered last night that apparently didn’t have a name:
2 parts Koval gin
2 parts Cointreau
1 part dry vermouth
Served up w orange twist

????

I straw-tasted it and it was v sweet and super boozy (but I’m not a martini person)

That is a strange sidecartini thing but I'd taste it. Guaranteed better than Malibu and Red Bull.

WmC I want to come to your bar and learn to drink better

You are my favorite kind of customer

Where does WmC tend

yo mama's house

psssh

I'm at a small restaurant in a small town in a very Baptist part of the country (northeast MS).

A semi-regular asked me last night if I'd tend bar at her wedding next April. I haven't done any weddings before and the thought fills me with dread but is also intriguing. My first questions were "How many Good Ol' Boys will there be? Would I be dealing with happy drunks or mean drunks?" Of course there's no way to know the answers in advance. I have a month or two to think about it. I don't know if I can handle (potentially) 8 hours on my feet.

Just ask for a bunch of money and see if that scares her off

the weddings i've been to recently make it seem straightforward--batch a couple cocktails (bride's pick and groom's pick) and be well-stocked with beer, wine, and whiskey otherwise. you definitely need to know the numbers and set some ground rules but i could see it being a pretty sweet paycheck.

ask for enough to hire a helper

cad otm

also it’s a wedding: if there’s loads of an inexpensive but non-terrible bubbly available nearby, just keeping a table of glasses filled and ready would be 30-70% of the job

The groom doesn't drink, but the two cocktails are going to be blueberry mojitos (bride's pick) and Old Fashioneds (bride's father's pick). The OF is easily batchable but the other one could be a big hassle. After that mojito, my second biggest concern is my own stamina.

hmm yeah i wonder if you can figure out a couple shortcuts for the mojitos, they’ll be a pain otherwise.

Yeah, the bride may want the theater of muddling/shaking/straining but it seems unworkable esp if there are a large # of guests. And she likes hers extra sweet so she wants them all topped with Sprite, which... ok for you, Missy, but have some club soda on hand please, not everyone wants drinkable candy. This reminds me of how I got into bartending in the first place -- a friend wanted to have a "retro 50's style cocktail party" but didn't know anything about drinks, so I commandeered that part so it wouldn't be a disaster.

i guess i’d be trying to make a blueberry/mint syrup so you could just build syrup/lime juice/rum/club soda, which is still a bunch of stuff tbh

Re theater: you have to pay extra for that. If they want volume, they accept batches or find someone else imo

You don’t take individual orders and make small talk when working a wedding (or funeral as I’ve recently experienced)

I'm very sorry for your loss. Another blueberry mojito?

Drink of choice at self’s funeral should be part of everyone’s will

went to a friend's wedding at the club that originated the Bootleg:

https://lundsandbyerlys.tumblr.com/post/150327031545/the-bootleg-cocktail-a-minnesota-tradition-its

was lovely on a hot summer day, and easy for the bartenders (recipe specifies vodka here, but they were allowing the liquor of your choice). might be an acceptable mojito substitute?

Re: the funeral i worked—
It was a service for a young person and there was a LOT of drinking. The other two funerals I attended this year did not have any alcohol but this one did in abundance. It was quite a scene.

At the actual funeral? Not at a wake or memorial service afterward?

This was the only service so I guess so? I’m not sure as I’m just the help! Lol

Funeral bar just the best and worst idea I've heard in years.

Wonder what tipping's like. "I've lost enough today, no one's getting anything else," vs "Just take it all. Why do we keep money anyway."

IME at this particular event, it was more the latter. Firstly, the family paid upfront for our labor so we were guaranteed (x). Then people tipped individually here and there and we made (y) in addition. Then at the end, the family settled up and paid us (z) more on top.

So each of us (3, self included) wound up making more than I have ever (ever!) made in one day of service work. We haven't talked about it since because it was extremely sad and everyone walked out of there drunk af and weeping. Personally I was numb bc it was the second funeral I had been at in 7 days.

Feel like I need a drink after reading that. Doing God's work out there, LL.

doing my best. I didn’t even share the sad parts bc it is too much.

FWIW we've worked a couple of weddings. They were fine, but definitely make sure you're not the only bartender and find out how big the crowd is. A wedding of 40-50 people isn't that hard to work, but 200-300 is obviously different.

In terms of flourishes and panache, what we usually do in party situations is prebatch everything we can and rely on garnishes for the classy touch. A good garnish goes a long way.

One wedding we did was an outdoor reception, and it started pouring halfway through. They basically just called it and sent us all home, but paid us for the full four hours of service, so no complaints from us even though packing up our stuff in the rain wasn't super fun.

I’ve been given the mission to pick higher-end bottles and sourcing for the new bar (our establishment is expanding into the space next door with a separate bar and a darker, quieter, more chill vibe). Owner specified bourbons because this is the southern US after all, I said I’d include rums, Irish whiskey, Scotch whisky and other spirits as well. Anyone here have any wishlist items that would impress you if you saw them on a bar menu?

Redbreast 15

Red Spot, Yellow Spot. Are you going to get a problem if it sits? Found North stuff is brilliant Canadian Whiskey but still relatively unknown.

Bourbon is pretty easy, though I do find it really fun when bars have curated some of a list of dusties, though that involves estate sales.

Weller Antique 107 Bourbon

I'm always happy to see a little mezcal selection — just two or three is fine. Smith & Cross and OFTD in the rum lineup?

Get a decent/proper Cachaca so you can make legit Caipirinha as well.

Thanks for the suggestions -- all going into the notebook. Really it'll come down to what is easy to find in Tupelo and maybe in Memphis. One example being Smith & Cross — technically it's available in MS as a special order, but I've only ever seen it in TN and GA. OFTD is readily available. Redbreast 12 is so common I can get it here in my little village but for 15 I have to go to one particular store in Tupelo or drive on to MEM.