another maniacal Armond White review, this time "Fahrenheit 9/11"

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No sane person believes

How would Armond White know what sane people believe?

but also fuck you (unperson), Wednesday, 22 December 2021 23:15 (two years ago) link

The Last Duel is a chic feminist rewrite of history. Its analogy asks: Can Michelle replace Hillary?

this is actually very funny and I respect his commitment to what he does much more than I do with a bullshit wanker like Peter Bradshaw. Even if I'm straining to work out how the fuck he came to this mad summary!

calzino, Thursday, 23 December 2021 01:45 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

It's "better than" list time ...

Movie culture reached a turning point in 2021 where the glut of content, streaming or in theaters, overwhelmed concerns about quality, craft, and the destructive messages being sold to us. Film artists competed with virtue-signaling, and political distraction was confused with emotional and visual satisfaction.

This year’s Better-Than List is, more than ever, a reminder of the standards we must hold to keep our sanity and to maintain culture that preserves our humanity and morality. Every Better-Than choice offers alternatives to deceit, ineptitude, and nihilism.

About Endlessness > Dune, The Green Knight
Roy Andersson’s series of comic-tragic tableaux depict the modern Christian quest for salvation that is abandoned by Denis Villeneuve’s inexpressive sci-fi and David Lowery’s fractured mythology. Most sci-fi movies, like pseudo-myths, are about meaninglessness.

Annette > West Side Story
Leos Carax’s ravishing existential opera addresses artistic crisis, that creative challenge that Steven Spielberg’s remake turns into no-hope social-justice platitudes.

Coming 2 America > Judas and the Black Messiah
Eddie Murphy and Craig Brewer’s superior sequel hilariously corrects Hollywood’s fashionable, insulting race hustle. The year’s best Hollywood movie is a welcoming diaspora comedy.

Shoplifters of the World > Licorice Pizza
Stephen Kijak’s tribute to The Smiths captures the inextinguishable flame of pop-culture fraternity, going deeper than Paul Thomas Anderson’s clever ’70s period piece.

France > Drive My Car
Bruno Dumont’s media heroine reveals contemporary psychic turmoil while Ryusuke Hamaguchi’s Chekhov imitation distracts from it. Dumont mixes genres to pungent effect while Hamaguchi tells the wrong story and lards it with “art.”

Summer of 85 > Belfast
François Ozon revisits ’80s AIDS-era innocence for a bold cultural confession, while Kenneth Branagh turns Irish ethnic conflict into totally inauthentic pop nostalgia.

Sin > Benedetta, House of Gucci
Andrei Mikhalkov-Konchalovsky’s awesome Michelangelo biopic explores the price and sacrifice of achieving greatness. Paul Verhoeven and Ridley Scott exploit the business of religion and fashion for shameless Euro-trash.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League, Army of the Dead, Army of Thieves > No Time to Die
Snyder finally got his chance to fulfill the visionary possibilities of pop myths, but the James Bond franchise-holders kill off the formerly fun, expressive brand.

Georgetown > The Card Counter
Christoph Waltz’s unsparing Beltway satire is more humane than Paul Schrader’s wallow in way-late recriminations about the Iraq War.

Love Is Love Is Love > Passing, The Lost Daughter
Eleanor Coppola’s wisdom about female experience is missing from Rebecca Hall’s and Maggie Gyllenhaal’s miserable tales about racial and gender identity. Coppola doesn’t fit the feminist model, she transcends it.

Saint-Narcisse > The Power of the Dog
Bruce LaBruce dares explore the mystique of sexual identity, creating his own, rich mythology, but Jane Campion demeans the Western genre as if to justify the misandry and homophobia of pseudo-feminism.

Sublet > Parallel Mothers
Eytan Fox forces a haughty New York Times journalist in Israel to rethink his place in the world, but Almodóvar’s bisexual melodrama turns his usual charm into a pretext for lamenting Spain’s Fascist past. Remarkable compassion vs. embarrassing guilt.

Licorice Pizza > The Worst Person in the World
Anderson’s wild, evocative anecdotes about freewheeling youth best Joachim Trier’s exploits that tirelessly defend self-obsessed Millennials. It’s the difference between romance and cynicism.

Dear Comrades! > The Tragedy of Macbeth
Konchalovsky’s view of recent Soviet history (featuring a powerful performance by Yuliya Vysotskaya) parallels the contemporary U.S. Communist threat, but Joel Coen traduces Shakespeare to flatter contemporary U.S. political trends. A vibrant history lesson vs. a lesson in thespian vanity.

Pig > King Richard
Nicolas Cage’s artisan-avenger makes Michael Sarnoski’s folktale a fable about personal conviction, but Will Smith misses the point in his latest egotistical biopic.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Saturday, 8 January 2022 00:40 (two years ago) link

his binaries are more awful than ever

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:00 (two years ago) link

Almodóvar’s bisexual melodrama turns his usual charm into a pretext for lamenting Spain’s Fascist past.

he's such a sloppy wrier these days I'm not even sure he even means the consequences of this sentence

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:01 (two years ago) link

I'm such a sloppy wrier these days

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:01 (two years ago) link

Had not heard of Georgetown or (maybe other than a 2019 festival mention) Love is Love is Love until now. Curious about both.

... (Eazy), Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:32 (two years ago) link

I'm not curious enough about either of those films to pay to watch them

Dan S, Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:42 (two years ago) link

Having Licorice Pizza show up at both ends of a pairing is kind of neat...although I seem to recall him doing that before.

clemenza, Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:47 (two years ago) link

It's "better than" list time ...

What a relief! I literally just now said "Oh no" to myself seeing the revive, worrying that he'd written something pissy about Poitier (and why that I don't know).

Precious, Grace, Hill & Beard LTD. (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 8 January 2022 01:57 (two years ago) link

I haven't seen Georgetown but hThe Card Counter was very disappointing.

but also fuck you (unperson), Saturday, 8 January 2022 02:05 (two years ago) link

Not having seen many of these, they don’t look on paper as crazy as his takes usually are. I can definitely believe Pig (seen) is better than King Richard (haven’t seen), tho pairing them doesn’t make any obvious sense despite his explanation.

Maybe his editor said he wasn't allowed to call Will Smith a sex pig in print.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Saturday, 8 January 2022 15:48 (two years ago) link

Armond White hasn't had an editor since the New York Press folded.

but also fuck you (unperson), Saturday, 8 January 2022 15:54 (two years ago) link

"the formerly fun, expressive brand"

all bonds are bad

mark s, Sunday, 9 January 2022 11:59 (two years ago) link

Maybe as close to cogent or at least predictable as he's been in awhile?

What Is the Worst Film of 2021? That's easy. It's Don't Look Up.
Adam McKay wages civil war, Hollywood style.

Readers have asked why the Better-Than List did not include a Bad Luck Banging > Don’t Look Up entry. My answer comes from W. C. Fields: “Too blatant.”

Radu Jude’s funny, shocking essay on Covid-era lunacy and its political roots was third-rail satire that found little public and media response. That old theater maxim “Satire is what closes on Saturday” seems relevant but off the mark when mainstream culture is incapable of appreciating satire.

Don’t Look Up is Netflix’s evasive, misstated excuse for political satire that fails very badly because writer-director Adam McKay doesn’t grasp his own political prejudices. Unlike Jude, McKay has no real sense of humor, just sophomoric ridicule. He brazenly broadcasts the entitled sense of obnoxiousness encouraged in Hollywood or Broadway environs, where liberalism has turned into progressivism. And as essayist David Horowitz observed, “inside every progressive is a totalitarian screaming to get out.”

Romanian esthete Jude knows what totalitarianism looks like, but self-satisfied American McKay thinks totalitarianism looks like progress. That’s why Don’t Look Up’s score-settling jokes are off. The premise, in which a team of astrophysicists (Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Lawrence) discover a comet headed for collision with Earth and try to warn the president of the United States (Meryl Streep), is so deeply earnest — yet facetious — that it’s humorless. DiCaprio and Lawrence fear that only six months and 14 days remain for mankind, echoing Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s warning that we all have only 12 years left before humanity collapses. The warnings go unheeded, because we are not as smart as them.

McKay’s “climate crisis” is more narrow-minded than Jude’s survey of media-madness and lockdown hysteria. McKay pokes fun at the end of the world the same way that progressives employ threats instead of making humanist appeals to reason. The film’s negativity indicts McKay and insults his audience.

Don’t Look Up’s better-than-you comedy reveals the nastiness of liberals who cannot abide difference of opinion. Experts DiCaprio and Lawrence (a bloated egotist and a hipster egotist) sneer at “climate deniers,” creating their own coterie of bourgeois elite, spending the end-times at an elite dinner among new civil-war separatists. All who oppose them are fools, including an executive branch leader who is essentially of their own kind — depicted by Streep with lofty giddiness.

Given Streep’s strained buffoonery, we might realize how the media coddles Puppet President Joe for the express purpose of holding on to power. This pragmatic, disdainful maneuver, a stealthy coup against public consciousness, exceeds McKay’s capacity for insight. But note that it’s achieved only through media complicity — the temerity familiar from late-night talk shows and TV propaganda mills such as Saturday Night Live (McKay’s breeding ground). Although McKay avoids skewering his own profession, by now it’s apparent that establishment comedians have restructured comedy into thin-skinned self-righteousness (as with the cackling Disney villainesses on The View). They can’t resist forcing their predictable politics on the public.

In Bad Luck Banging, Jude presented a three-part argument that included documentary realism. But McKay’s doomsday fantasy offers know-it-all-ism under the guise of absurdity, then makes the error of using annihilation as an analogy for climate change. This is not just ridiculous, it lacks the sensitive character detail of broad satire like Dr. Strangelove.

That’s the reason McKay goes for a pompous, all-star spectacle. As in 2018’s Vice, his hateful, too-early tirade against the Dick Cheney clan, Don’t Look Up boasts a marquee roster. These liberal Hollywood fellow-travelers are the least appealing cast of any movie this century.

It’s a showcase of those who’ve already committed deceitful grandstanding (Streep, Lawrence, DiCaprio) or who are lower-level deceivers (Thimothée Chalamet, Cate Blanchett, Tyler Perry, Jonah Hill, and Mark Rylance as a Fauci-Gates-Bezos composite like his cloying character in Ready Player One).

Every caricature, teetering between silliness and arrogance, lacks farcical dimension; it’s the shrillness of virtue-signaling celebrities telling us how to feel and what we should think. McKay relies on their fame and misapplies their skills — unlike the believably harried city folk in Bad Luck Banging and the panoply of all-American types in Tim Burton’s social, cultural, political extravaganza Mars Attacks. These are the Great Obliviots — overpaid performers so oblivious to state of the world actually happening around them that they exaggerate pandemonium beyond recognition.(The only obnoxious leftists missing are Robert DeNiro, George Clooney, Alec Baldwin, and Mark Ruffalo.)

But the fault is not only in these stars; they’re following McKay’s humiliating orders. His topical sarcasm about bureaucratic infighting (grifting military advisers, a lone black political operative) neither earns our cynicism nor justifies offending our sensibilities. McKay is, in fact, topically retarded. The White House–Beltway jokes are far behind The West Wing’s; the scientific-paranoia gags don’t improve on War Games or Minority Report; his fear of the future mimics Year One, Armageddon, and Deep Impact. His pretense of unsparing showbiz parody doesn’t match our gobsmacked sense of the ridiculous: Ariana Grande playing an opportunistic pop star singing at a political event in a feather gown doesn’t compare with her performance in a black tutu at Aretha Franklin’s funeral while ogled at by Jesse Jackson and Bill Clinton.

Because we’ve already crossed the Rubicon, McKay’s browbeating us about it feels redundant and wimpy. He cowardly identifies the New York Times as “The New York Herald,” defanging any satire of media blowhards. Then he completely avoids the ramifications of Big Tech’s First Amendment clampdown — implicitly accepting the calamitous censorship of the president of the United States. Only climate-crisis folderol matters.

We are far ahead of McKay, because the worst has already happened — the end of liberty, honesty, election integrity, science, gender, and religion. An apocalyptic comedy by atheist liberals doesn’t even come close to being scary, or a plausible allegory.

McKay has fashioned himself a niche as Hollywood’s premier political reactionary. The Big Short was his overweening, unintelligible reaction to the 2008 recession. Vice was his Bush 43 revenge-kill, targeting a subordinate. Vice may have preempted a Trump satire by McKay, but the Derangement Syndrome is strong in this guy. Laudatory reviews for Don’t Look Up mean that McKay isn’t likely to stop clowning, even though Nancy Pelosi ripping up President Trump’s State of the Union address on TV, kneeling at the Capitol in a kente-cloth shawl, or later praising George Floyd’s “sacrifice” make more effective, dangerous, absurdist jokes than McKay.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Wednesday, 12 January 2022 22:57 (two years ago) link

Laudatory reviews for Don’t Look Up

Most of the reviews I've seen have been, at best, lukewarm?

Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 12 January 2022 23:05 (two years ago) link

Most of the reviews I've seen have been, at best, lukewarm?

No, no; everything Armond dislikes has been otherwise universally praised, because Armond is a Brave, Truth-Telling Contrarian, and that's how it works.

but also fuck you (unperson), Wednesday, 12 January 2022 23:10 (two years ago) link

As in 2018’s Vice, his hateful, too-early tirade against the Dick Cheney clan

HAHA

Precious, Grace, Hill & Beard LTD. (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 12 January 2022 23:11 (two years ago) link

Yeah--it's fiction to pretend this has been mostly well reviewed. There was a piece someone sent me last week complaining about how all the bad reviews are missing the point. (An interesting piece itself insofar as the guy seems clueless as to the function of criticism.)

https://www.currentaffairs.org/2021/12/critics-of-dont-look-up-are-missing-the-entire-point

clemenza, Wednesday, 12 January 2022 23:12 (two years ago) link

_As in 2018’s Vice, his hateful, too-early tirade against the Dick Cheney clan_


HAHA

LOL, I missed that gem.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Wednesday, 12 January 2022 23:17 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Reviews the Poly Styrene documentary:

https://www.nationalreview.com/2022/02/the-poly-styrene-story-is-a-lesson-for-us-all/

I'm glad to see a lengthy review from anyone, and I still haven't been able to see the film. Positioning the Poly Styrene of 1978 as a counter to the Neil Young of 2022 strikes me as somewhat ridiculous--I suspect Poly Styrene would be taking exactly the same actions herself if she were alive--and the Poly Styrene of 1978 vs. the Neil Young of 1978, that's hardly so clear-cut either. Anyway, I'm glad he likes it. I do wonder what he'd be writing if the documentary takes off to great acclaim and he were reviewing it six months from now.

clemenza, Wednesday, 2 February 2022 21:38 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

Big swing alert!

https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/film/the-godfather/1/

On the 50th anniversary of Francis Ford Coppola’s Godfather, it is worth reexamining the film’s haunting opening. A face emerges from shadow and speaks: “I believe in America.” The moment is even more haunting now, when our major institutions, corporations, and even mainstream Hollywood promote America-hating nonbelief — as in the destructive, nihilistic mythologies of Spotlight, 12 Years a Slave, Moonlight, The Shape of Water, Nomadland, The Power of the Dog, as well as the subversions of the 1619 Project.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Friday, 18 March 2022 14:15 (two years ago) link

Oh.

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 18 March 2022 14:17 (two years ago) link

The Godfather, a rebuke to all the America-hating going on today (and in 1972).

(I'm sure his argument is not as ludicrous as that.)

clemenza, Friday, 18 March 2022 14:23 (two years ago) link

I wouldn't be so sure.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Friday, 18 March 2022 14:26 (two years ago) link

"I believe in America," says the father petitioning America's biggest mob boss for a hit.

So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 18 March 2022 14:28 (two years ago) link

This is a hint that his next move is to have the New York Film Critics Circle Awards ceremony massacred by helicopter attack.

Halfway there but for you, Friday, 18 March 2022 14:34 (two years ago) link

In the essential struggle out of society’s crushing anonymity, the American dream can turn to nightmare.

he would know

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Friday, 18 March 2022 16:17 (two years ago) link

I sort of unironically love this?

It was great writing for First Things. https://t.co/uflnZTuD8F pic.twitter.com/DrhWsMyUGw

— Armond White (@3xchair) March 21, 2022

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Monday, 21 March 2022 23:34 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

Who could possibly be surprised?

Don't expect a better American movie in 2022 than Father Stu. #FatherStuMovie https://t.co/7JLVIrKbpW pic.twitter.com/aMq14yoJbt

— Armond White (@3xchair) April 20, 2022

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Thursday, 21 April 2022 18:40 (one year ago) link

Would rather read him about Disco Stu

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 21 April 2022 18:44 (one year ago) link

Tom Scharpling was riffing on the trailer on a recent episode of his podcast, and all I kept thinking was that this movie was going to be huge and would inspire a month of think-pieces on contemporary Hollywood's disdain for "faith-based" entertainment (as if this isn't basically the same movie as CODA and King Richard).

Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Thursday, 21 April 2022 18:51 (one year ago) link

"A career peak for Mark Wahlberg"... wow!!

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Thursday, 21 April 2022 18:59 (one year ago) link

"it’s not preaching to the choir. It’s got F-bombs, so you do have to weather those things to get to the jewel.”

Yep, we sure don't see people purporting to be members of the choir dropping F-bombs in today's America.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Thursday, 21 April 2022 19:14 (one year ago) link

According to The-Numbers, the film earned $5.4 million its opening weekend. The film would earn a total of $7.7 million in its first five days given it opened on Wednesday, April 13th.

Not exactly The Passion 2.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Thursday, 21 April 2022 19:57 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/film/lightyear-2022/

Lightyear proves that the folks at Pixar and Disney are past masters at audience manipulation, now known as “grooming.”

Yeah, that's not what people are using the word "grooming" to insinuate.

Eggs Benedick (Eric H.), Friday, 17 June 2022 13:28 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

Father Stu aside, this seems like a highly non-maniacal mid-year list: https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/list/mid-year-reckoning-2022/

Bait Kush (Eric H.), Wednesday, 13 July 2022 14:11 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Idiot Chalamet has not yet had a popular hit. Only Hollywood media likes him and reward him with attention. #DenyChalamet https://t.co/HpsGyRiIPR

— Armond White (@3xchair) September 2, 2022

papal hotwife (milo z), Friday, 2 September 2022 23:41 (one year ago) link

I guess Dune was a bust?

immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Friday, 2 September 2022 23:47 (one year ago) link

And Little Women?

Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 2 September 2022 23:53 (one year ago) link

OK, I shouldn't have read the last month of tweets. We shouldn't even link to him anymore.

Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 2 September 2022 23:57 (one year ago) link

I was searching something today and his Licorice Pizza review came up. (He liked it.) Opening sentence: "Paul Thomas Anderson’s most famous films, Boogie Nights and There Will Be Blood, cursed America."

Whether you love, hate, or are indifferent to Boogie Nights, I don't see how you can view it as a curse on America. I mean, if you hate it, one of the reasons might be that it views the porn industry as a nurturing, extended family. One of the main reasons I love it are joyous moments like "Those are great names!" (or the serenity of the final tracking shot through Burt Reynolds' house). It's not a mean or judgmental film at all.

clemenza, Saturday, 3 September 2022 00:41 (one year ago) link

OK, I shouldn't have read the last month of tweets. We shouldn't even link to him anymore.

I mean, this one is pretty funny, regardless of intention.

Just watched a TV trivia game show in which no one remembered Sandra Bullock's #Netflix hit @Birdbox. pic.twitter.com/APrPNkTkXh

— Armond White (@3xchair) September 1, 2022

Bait Kush (Eric H.), Saturday, 3 September 2022 16:17 (one year ago) link

It's not a mean or judgmental film at all.

Not saying it's "mean" to condemn a pedophile, but the film's epilogue specifically exists to reward the good-hearted characters and punish the bad. If anything, it's too insistent on the audience finding the majority of the characters as lovable as the filmmakers do.

Halfway there but for you, Saturday, 3 September 2022 17:40 (one year ago) link

The Colonel meets with a bad end, of course, but that's about it. Anyway, your last sentence makes the same point that I do: it's not a film that, love it or despise it, "cursed America." (There Will Be Blood, sure.)

clemenza, Saturday, 3 September 2022 18:08 (one year ago) link

https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/04/review-freaks-and-geeks-documentary-show-made-nihilism-cool/

Haven't read it yet, but--after a slow start for the first three or four episodes--Freaks & Geeks is great. So I'm counting on lots of maniacal stuff in there.

clemenza, Thursday, 15 September 2022 17:03 (one year ago) link

That review's actually four years old...I went looking for a Godard comment from White, and that was at the top of his Twitter page for some reason.

clemenza, Thursday, 15 September 2022 17:07 (one year ago) link

two months pass...

Armond's now retweeting Lara Logan and Don Jr. He's gone.

عباس کیارستمی (Eric H.), Wednesday, 23 November 2022 22:12 (one year ago) link


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