I would EXCELSIOR, but I haven't got a ZING to LOL

shot and chaser

erik loomis has a typically solid, scathing review of dole's life and career, well worth reading:

https://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2021/12/dole

― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Monday, December 6, 2021 6:03 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

My review of dole’s life and career would typically be solid also

― coombination gazza hut & scampo bell (wins), Monday, December 6, 2021 6:09 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Five and two year old at the table, two year old asks "hey google how does a sponge work"

"According to the website mayoclinic.org the contraceptive sponge is a type of birth control (contraceptive) that prevents sperm from entering the uterus. It is soft and disk-shaped and made of polyurethane foam. The contraceptive sponge contains spermicide, which kills sperm. Before having sex, you insert the sponge deep inside the vagina so that it covers the cervix. Your vaginal muscles hold it in place. The contraceptive sponge has a strap on one side for easier removal. The sponge can prevent pregnancy but doesn't protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs)."

― namaste darkness my old friend (ledge), Friday, December 10, 2021 9:53 AM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Are microwaves too melty for you Calzino?

― badg, Saturday, 11 December 2021 00:05 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Too Labour-saving.

― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Saturday, 11 December 2021 00:08 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Excellent both

the next two posts were very good as well

My stainless Bonavita died so I bought an angular black kettle like a prop from a Michael Mann movie. It’s the best looking thing in my kitchen.

― papal hotwife (milo z), Saturday, 11 December 2021 00:09 (nine hours ago) link

don't sell yourself short milo, but do post a pic

― rob, Saturday, 11 December 2021 00:11 (nine hours ago) link

Ok, winning

tweet posted by KM: "Former US Senate candidate and first Maine resident to catch COVID Max Linn found dead in hot tub after being sued for pulling gun on former aide during cryptocurrency disagreement"

That headline is a hilarious mess. Like, did that all happen the same day?

― Josh in Chicago, Monday, December 13, 2021 2:59 PM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

of course - he was a colorful candidate

― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, December 13, 2021 3:09 PM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Covid/Gun/Crypto/Hot tub death is like the EGOT of old white drunk guys

― Chappies banging dustbin lids together (President Keyes), Monday, December 13, 2021 3:17 PM (six hours ago)

ELON

How about a place like Birmingham, England? It was pretty working class and hardly culturally prominent (not unlike Manchester), but produced Black Sabbath, UB40, Judas Priest, ELO/The Move, Plant and Bonham, Duran Duran, Dexys Midnight Runners, Moody Blues, Steel Pulse, Nick Mason, Carl Palmer the Beat, Steve Winwood etc., Swell Maps. And of course more bands (Godflesh, Napalm Death, Ocean Colour Scene) soon after.

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, December 14, 2021 6:45 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

population over 1m. oxford has 150k

― imago, Tuesday, December 14, 2021 6:56 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Birmingham is the second biggest city in the UK.

― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Tuesday, December 14, 2021 7:06 AM (yesterday)

he was thinking of birmingham alabama, home of little stevie winwood

I hear they love the Guv'nor

How about a place like Chicago, IL? It was pretty working class and hardly culturally prominent (not unlike Minneapolis), but produced band, band, another band, more bands, solo rock artist etc., And of course more bands soon after.

wat hold up i was thinking of chicago, mozambique

isn't that where Bob Dylan lived for 3 months as a fetus?

i was born in Baton Rouge, Antarctica

Just a red stick protruding from the snow

i wonder if there's some good music in calcutta

calcutta california?

(such a lovely place)

clearly the answer is Detroit, Uzbekistan -- home to the Insane Clown Posse whose fans are their own subculture known as Juggalos

Magnitlar, ular qanday ishlaydi?

The original Bosom Manor was located there iirc

gave up on that thread when someone non-ironically suggested 60s/70s detroit wasn't a major u.s. city

gentlemen! you can't jerk off in here! this is the louis ck thread!

― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Monday, December 20, 2021 9:46 AM

i know it's off-topic but yankee candles, christ, definitely one of the worst aspects of growing up around conservatives

― Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Wednesday, December 22, 2021 7:11 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

as i remember them you absolutely have to be 100% anosmiac to not smell anything from them. i doubt they changed their formula that much.

― Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Wednesday, December 22, 2021 7:13 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

what do they smell like

― hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Wednesday, December 22, 2021 7:18 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Complacency.

― Ima Gardener (in orbit), Wednesday, December 22, 2021 7:23 AM

so which one is pink? it is not gilmour because he was not there when it was first named and it was not klose because it was still named so when he left early and it was not barrett because he went mad and it still kept going and it was not waters when he thought the final cut was the end and it came back and it was not wright because he was not officially part of it when they made amlor so pink must be mason who was in the beginning till the end!

― xzanfar, Tuesday, December 28, 2021 2:19 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Best to address that question from a non-dual perspective. When you investigate more closely, you'll find that there is no Pink.

― doug watson, Tuesday, December 28, 2021 3:04 PM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Matter of fact it's all Pink.

― joni mitchell jarre (anagram), Tuesday, December 28, 2021 4:18 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

i’m being told this is a ‘humor piece’ in ‘the vein of david sedaris’

it’s not very ‘funny’ tho, is it

― mookieproof, Monday, December 27, 2021 10:12 PM (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Neither is David Sedaris.

― A Pile of Ants (Boring, Maryland), Monday, December 27, 2021 10:40 PM (three days ago)

simple and satisfying

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFLw26BjDZs
#onethread

grim lols

I'm not sure why the average Hollywood flick's running time creeps ever upward.

― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, January 5, 2022 10:54 AM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Because people aren't sitting in a theater next to a half-empty bag of popcorn and a 92-ounce bucket of Sprite?

Mostly we're home. We can pause the movie and go fold the laundry or heat up a burrito or masturbate while thinking about the Amazon delivery person or read the New Yorker or play Candy Crush for a while, then come back to it. Does it matter whether the movie is two hours or three? Not really.

If it were a series we'd probably watch six to ten episodes in chunks of varying length, in between work calls and Amazon deliveries and games of retro Tetris.

― nonsensei (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, January 5, 2022 1:59 PM (forty-six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Can we, like, speed up this earth-destroying comet now?

― Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, January 5, 2022 2:13 PM (thirty-two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

"we"

My bf watches movies like this all the time. Starts one, then stops it partway thru to play a game or watch TV instead. LIke... why? Drives me mad.

As Whiney says, that is very much a "we" in quotes that has nothing to do with me or anyone I know irl?

i'm not going to defend my impulsive c&p really but i thought it was just a low-stakes gripe and that masturbating about the amazon delivery driver was at least a little funny.

i read it the other day and went on with other things in my life. and then, last night, out of nowhere i remembered this idea of masturbating to the amazon delivery person and it was such an absurd intrusion in my head

that's basically Scott Pilgrim iirc

FTR I have never actually seen an Amazon delivery person so I don't know what they look like - just trying to evoke a generally fuzzy state of mind and an assortment of weird habits born of isolation and boredom, and exaggerating for effect.

I do feel like I'm sleepwalking a bit, and slipping from paths of righteousness and healthy community-oriented living into dissolution and decay. Many people I know are expressing similar sentiments, though they would definitely not choose the same specifics.

okay, never having seen an Amazon delivery person is some next level "I don't even own a television" shit

unless you're blind ... sorry ... that was ableist of me

idk I mean I usually saw the Amazon trucks but rarely saw the people emerge from them until recently, because we have a hub where they drop packages in our apartment complex.

as opposed to UPS drivers, who I have been seeing run like they have hemorrhoids to drop off packages since childhood.

Okay. I mean, I look out on the porch and there's a package there. I didn't see it arrive, so I don't know who brought it.

Of course I see people delivering things out in the world. I just don't know who brought my specific things to my specific doorstep; I don't see any humblebrag or elitism in that.

https://twistity.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/delivery.jpg

you were imagining a faceless amazon delivery person delivering a big box that says 'horny sex' on the side

I don't see drivers, I just see packages

well Sufjan's post on top of mine just made things a lil awkward

when my amazon deliveries arrive i open the door and say "place the box in my hands please", and i never stop looking them in the eye until they're down the street

the irony of Karl Malone *having* something delivered.

sometimes i take time off to work on slam dunks

Amazon driver is not the Mailman

not with THAT attitude