Real England

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otm

kinder, Thursday, 2 December 2021 18:32 (two years ago) link

Lmao why does this happen so much https://t.co/inyNBIK3WN pic.twitter.com/lOpIxgEYED

— Justin Whang 🐙 (@JustinWhang) December 2, 2021

xyzzzz__, Thursday, 2 December 2021 19:22 (two years ago) link

they'll be obstructing the RSPCA next eh

imago, Thursday, 2 December 2021 19:32 (two years ago) link

as a side-note i like seagulls a lot, also this is actual criminal behaviour as well as repellent cruelty aiui

imago, Thursday, 2 December 2021 19:33 (two years ago) link

The two weeks in late spring where gulls divebomb everyone walking down the street, especially those of us walking dogs, under the guise of protecting nests full of eggs/chicks/fledglings, give me serious murder feelings.

the thin blue lying (suzy), Thursday, 2 December 2021 21:42 (two years ago) link

Bomb Squad called to A&E where patient turns up with WWII shell lodged in his rectum https://t.co/hwlfm0hR9O

— Daily Mail Online (@MailOnline) December 3, 2021

Portsmouth Bubblejet, Friday, 3 December 2021 10:30 (two years ago) link

'What did you do during the war, Grandad?'

Sam Weller, Friday, 3 December 2021 10:56 (two years ago) link

it must be difficult keeping a straight face when they reel out that old "slipped and fell on it" story

calzino, Friday, 3 December 2021 11:01 (two years ago) link

"I was only doing my patriotic duty".

When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Friday, 3 December 2021 12:43 (two years ago) link

One for the bum squad to deal with.

Dan Worsley, Friday, 3 December 2021 13:34 (two years ago) link

"I jumped on it to save my squad!..."

nickn, Friday, 3 December 2021 17:49 (two years ago) link

Took one for the team

Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 3 December 2021 17:59 (two years ago) link

do they have fish and chips flavoured crisps in other countries as well?

oscar bravo, Monday, 6 December 2021 21:05 (two years ago) link

yeah, nazi germany iirc!

calzino, Monday, 6 December 2021 21:08 (two years ago) link

Queen and corgis 'risk wolf or bear encounter under Chris Packham’s rewild call'https://t.co/ZsHwByYI0r pic.twitter.com/VV8wlByrsf

— The Mirror (@DailyMirror) December 7, 2021

mark s, Tuesday, 7 December 2021 11:48 (two years ago) link

I'd advise her not to run if she sees a wild bear, stand your ground ma'am and face it down with your arms outstretched!

calzino, Tuesday, 7 December 2021 12:18 (two years ago) link

does the queen shit herself in the woods?

edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 7 December 2021 13:22 (two years ago) link

surely she has someone to do that for her

o shit the sheriff (NickB), Tuesday, 7 December 2021 13:24 (two years ago) link

t was reported in 2015 that the Queen stopped breeding corgis so as not to leave any behind when she died.[4] Her final corgi, Willow, died in April of 2018. Two dorgis*, Vulcan and Candy, survived.[1] Vulcan died of 'old age' in 2020.[5] The Queen's only remaining dorgi was Candy, before it was joined by another dorgi pup named Fergus and a pure-bred corgi called Muick in 2021.[6] Fergus died in the same year.[7] In June 2021, she was gifted a new corgi by her family.[8]

several sinister red flags in this paragraph imo

*dorgis are dachshund-corgi crossbreeds before you ask

mark s, Tuesday, 7 December 2021 13:56 (two years ago) link

Fergus and Vulcan got did in Blondi style with a cyanide pill obv

calzino, Tuesday, 7 December 2021 14:31 (two years ago) link

Where there's Muick there's brass.

When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Tuesday, 7 December 2021 14:37 (two years ago) link

Lol @ this thread

I’ve stood by my father through a lot of things, but stealing the entire visual and culinary identity of one of Britain’s most beloved restaurants is deeply unethical. JD Wetherspoons was not founded on these principles. pic.twitter.com/HlAnk6NZr5

— Clive Martin (@thugclive) December 8, 2021

glumdalclitch, Wednesday, 8 December 2021 14:40 (two years ago) link

Shakespearean, in the sense that I hope all the main characters die

let's make lunch and listen to five finger death punch (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 8 December 2021 15:39 (two years ago) link

Sorry, I need explanation

Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 8 December 2021 17:24 (two years ago) link

it's like an irl UK Succession but with a major pub chain run by a total cunt and seemingly the apple didn't fall that far from the tree etc...

calzino, Wednesday, 8 December 2021 17:27 (two years ago) link

I've been to a Wetherspoons or two, I just don't know who they're stealing from

Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 8 December 2021 17:33 (two years ago) link

Nando’s presumably

coombination gazza hut & scampo bell (wins), Wednesday, 8 December 2021 17:35 (two years ago) link

yep it's a Nando's ripoff

calzino, Wednesday, 8 December 2021 17:36 (two years ago) link

cheeky

calzino, Wednesday, 8 December 2021 17:38 (two years ago) link

When are aldi going to apologise for stealing the visual and culinary identity of britains most beloved park bench pisshead beverages

https://i2-prod.walesonline.co.uk/incoming/article13799719.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/taurus.jpg

coombination gazza hut & scampo bell (wins), Wednesday, 8 December 2021 17:43 (two years ago) link

pic.twitter.com/Lz8poT7ZqB

— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) December 14, 2021

mark s, Tuesday, 14 December 2021 10:10 (two years ago) link

canute updated

mark s, Tuesday, 14 December 2021 10:12 (two years ago) link

just witnessed an ice cream man’s funeral and all the ice cream vans came and followed in solidarity I AM SOBBING pic.twitter.com/bJhyJj4JoK

— Louisa Davies (@LouisaD__) December 17, 2021

xyzzzz__, Friday, 17 December 2021 12:27 (two years ago) link

ha was going to post that!

kinder, Wednesday, 22 December 2021 09:46 (two years ago) link

he's one of them deplorable idiots that goes into adult life still using the school playground bully rulebook, but all the same that was pretty damn funny!

calzino, Wednesday, 22 December 2021 10:37 (two years ago) link

LadBaby criticising The Kunts for not being positive enough about the government in their no.5 hit single ‘Boris Johnson Is STILL A Fucking C**t’ is where the discourse is tonight.

calzino, Wednesday, 22 December 2021 20:33 (two years ago) link

if you want to experience the most powerful british vibes possible i invite you to read about the guy on trial for harassing chris whitty in a park pic.twitter.com/x4WCYSkrhL

— milo edwards (@Milo_Edwards) December 22, 2021

xyzzzz__, Wednesday, 22 December 2021 20:35 (two years ago) link

Captain Sir Tom Moore's family find forgotten mystery Christmas present from him to open this year https://t.co/cOr53nkZ9Q

— ITV News (@itvnews) December 22, 2021

xyzzzz__, Wednesday, 22 December 2021 21:02 (two years ago) link

Didn't Happen of the Year

Khafre's clown (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 22 December 2021 21:24 (two years ago) link

it's a human skull that he brought back from Burma as a trophy

calzino, Wednesday, 22 December 2021 21:32 (two years ago) link

lol

oscar bravo, Wednesday, 22 December 2021 22:21 (two years ago) link

I'm gunna drink 15 Boddingtons today.

A thread:

— Rob Copland (@Robertdcopland) December 26, 2021

𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Sunday, 26 December 2021 19:39 (two years ago) link

the hero we need

Khafre's clown (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 26 December 2021 19:44 (two years ago) link

a four-pack of them small gold label special beer cans will roughly do the same job!

calzino, Sunday, 26 December 2021 20:38 (two years ago) link

shorter thread tho

Khafre's clown (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 26 December 2021 21:02 (two years ago) link

Some great stuff here. Especially the Wetherspoon ripping off Nando

Never changed username before (cardamon), Sunday, 26 December 2021 21:15 (two years ago) link

I remember seeing Cobra from Gladiator near West Harrow tube station twenty years ago

But a whole Pizza Express full of people don’t remember an actual Prince walking in

— Marina Purkiss (@MarinaPurkiss) January 1, 2022

xyzzzz__, Saturday, 1 January 2022 18:53 (two years ago) link


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