I'm Only Happy When It's Gay // LGBTTQQIAAP+ // Fall 2021

Apparently, that list is hogwash and there's been some minor kerfuffle about it, from former PG DJs and party attendees!

I just found out myself.

still, what a list, phew

true!

Anyone ever put together a good playlist of holiday soulful house music?

no but i want one! please share if it comes to fruition.
i had a weird phone thing happen last night -

i met a guy on the phone and we had crazy conversations via text for like hours, like all night. is that weird? i feel like I'm in jr high school. like I'm 36?

sounds fun!

you know - fun is relative.

you know j0rdy i was thinking of u today - of your reaction once when i commented on something. it was very trivial but I have an emotional memory and it made me happy so I remember it. I'd rather not go into the details so as not to spoil the magic of the moment but just know that you left an impression!

i met a guy on the phone and we had crazy conversations via text for like hours, like all night. is that weird? i feel like I'm in jr high school. like I'm 36?

― surm, Friday, November 19, 2021

It's fun! Exhausting too. The guy I've been fooling around with gets miffed if like a normal person I determine the texting must end. He's also in his early twenties.

im 38 and romantic feelings toward a million people feel as intense as ever

marcos!

"feelings feel" lol

i usually edit a little more if i know alfred is in a thread

hey!!!

i usually edit a little more if i know alfred is in a thread

― marcos, Friday, November 19, 2021

dude, have you seen my typos?

you know j0rdy i was thinking of u today - of your reaction once when i commented on something. it was very trivial but I have an emotional memory and it made me happy so I remember it. I'd rather not go into the details so as not to spoil the magic of the moment but just know that you left an impression!

― s;-urm, Friday, November 19, 2021 2:46 AM (twelve hours ago)

<3 :-*

Going to be in NY for 36 hours, already have the whole thing planned. I'm jamming in a lot!

oh yeah!! i forgot. what's on the agenda?

hi marcos!!!

Well, I went to the Guggenheim with one of my oldest friends, we took a nice walk, then I went to Artists Space for a poetry reading, had an amazing dinner with friends in Chinatown, then another poetry reading at LOMEX, then a long long train ride to the Rockaways to stay with another old friend and her elderly dog (who is dying and whom I've known since she was a puppy). We had a lovely if bittersweet time. Then I left the Rockaways after a walk around Ft. Tilden and brunch, took the A straight to Penn Station and came back to Philly. All told, I was in New York for 27 hours and fit quite a lot in. I also managed to not get stinking drunk, a first for me in New York lol.

I just re-read my diary from my first solo trip to NY back in 2004 and it's highly embarrassing.

still feel like a rube when i visit big cities tbh, even though i've spent some time in them.

I'm sweating now and leaning on the John door

i met a friend of a friend yesterday that i barely know, we ended up having a very friendly and enthusiastic conversation. they run sound for a new gay-ish bar here that does a lot of drag shows and they want to put together a dance night at some point. there isn't much good happening in that area here, like at all. feels like queer nightlife is the grimmest it's been in decades.

xp good luck, take care of yourself!

Damn, table, for 27 hours you really covered a lot of ground. Artists Space rules, was the scene of some surprisingly wild nights (for an art galley) in my high school years.

Dogs should never die.

I read at Artists Space two months before the pandemic. They paid me more money than I've ever received for a reading, plus my train ticket and dinner. Art world money going to broke ass poets like myself is kind of cool.

that is super cool. I'm glad you had such a lovely time in ny.
also plax!! it's so nice to see you here.
I'm in St Louis seeing doctors, and relying heavily on shopping for holiday cheer
i watched a movie last night - obvious child feat. Jenny Slate - and it made me miss flirting. i had to reschedule on Danny to come here but he was beyond sweet about it, so I'm looking forward to seeing him when i get back to ny.
my friends (gay and straight) have shown me so much love in the past few weeks. i never expected to have that much love in my life. it's more than i thought i deserved. I'm trying to let them love me.

hope everyone's doing ok <3

Doing okay! Going to my friend's birthday party at a gay bar tomorrow! I haven't been in a gay bar since 2017!

I had good sex the weekend of my birthday with an old friend. I was knocked out so solidly that I awoke, smelled foreign smells, saw him beside me, and realized I wasn't in my aparmtment.

smelled foreign smells

mmmmm i long for this

that plus a dick in my ass

lol!

marcos!

Okay, birthday party at gay bar was so cute! It's a piano karaoke bar, so very dramatic and histrionic presences everywhere, a lot of old theatre queens and young theatre queens and everything in between. And my friend's friend V1ct0r was there with his new date, a NB twink who I couldn't keep my eyes off of all night, so much so that Theo started teasing me about it lol...while admitting that he also thought the twink was extremely hot.

In any case I felt really GAY for the first time in a long time, and it was glorious. I also found out that I know the lyrics to a lot more show tunes than I thought I did. Guess you can take the boy out of the theatre...

that's adorable

that sounds so fun T! LA doesn’t really have gay piano bars anymore sadly. there used to be a wonderful one that closed in 2013, my husband and i went on some of our earliest dates there and always had a fun and kind of sloppy time (I think one of the young cute bartenders there had a crush on me and really liked to get us liquored up lol)

we saw “the power of the dog” last night - went into it mostly cold and wasn’t really expecting all the gay stuff! very good, recommend

is that a new movie? i can't wait to see Being The Ricardos on Friday ... am i the only Nicole obsessive here?

t#ddy that sounds like such a great time. i can't wait to feel more gay soon ... given my schedule for the new few months it's gonna be a hot minute. i've been having a weird thing with penetration where sometimes the idea turns me on - which is strange because i've NEVER been into it. i'm way too anal for that.

The Power of the Dog is a good literary adaptation, but maybe not a terribly great gay movie: its take on the homo-sexual/social/phobic is less revelatory in 2021 than the movie thinks it is (the source novel is from the late 60s).

About right.

oh interesting. can i tell u i've never been interested in gay movies. like have they ever gotten it right

Some more than others.

This probably says more about me than I would wish, but there are gay movies that seem to get gay more right than I ever had.

<3

I've found many of the "gay" movies of recent, except those about or from the perspective of teenagers, to be singularly awful. I hated "Strange by the Lake," for example. Never been more bored while watching a film ostensibly "about" cruising and gay sex.

And to clarify what I mean re: teenagers, I mean that one of the only other gay films I've seen recently was "Love, Simon," which, for all its bourgeois affect, actually felt extremely real and similar to experiences of younger gay people I know.

oh interesting. i was curious about that. the young people are good queers, it's for sure.

I like (not love) Simon and its TV spinoff Love, Victor just fine (and for the reasons you state) but the Canadian film Giant Little Ones, from a few years back, is a stickier and more challenging film about queer teens.