"Can I say you're my girlfriend on Facebook?"

how this may be the beginning of the end for a trillion-dollar company.

Did this author see their last quarter earnings?

3D movies are great

No

I saw Fury Road in 2D and it was annoying to see all the 'gotcha!' 3D stuff without the glasses

Ugh, I watched Dune in 3D last night and the 3D was pointless at best, ruined the compositions at worst.

I saw Fury Road in 3D and it gave me a massive headache. Ruined an otherwise awesome movie.

I saw Fury Road in 5D and was killed

My 12-year-old son plays something called "Gorilla Tag" on VR 24 hours a day.

WATCH: Sneak Peek at Facebook metaverse pic.twitter.com/rUGGiJeMLr

— Insider Paper (@TheInsiderPaper) October 28, 2021

Things that just have to be Tim and Eric skits

I'm...actually speechless right now. I guess this is a pretty epic way to tank your enormous company, if such is your wont. I'm sure it will go over swimmingly with Facebook Meta's increasingly old and tech-baffled audience.

Neither Fury Road nor Dune were shot in 3-D.

“I saw a version of a movie that had been deliberately made out-of-focus on a computer and it was hard to focus on”

headsup @ Zuck: The Sims already exists

most movies taht are released as 3-D these days weren't shot for 3D

Was Zuck in 3D before or just rendered as such for insertion into Meta

I'm really just scratching my head at this tbh, like you build everyone up for this big announcement and name change, but then the announcement is "We're going to have this awesome thing in 5-10 years, and here's an unappealing rendering of it." Like Tesla's supertruck announcement was bad enough, but that was at least a specific product meant to come to market in a semi-specific amount of time.

it's very comforting to see how they have no idea what the fuck to do

the only good VR thing I ever did was at Disney Springs, through The Void, they had a Star Wars VR themed thing for 25 bucks where you put on a suit and it actually rendered a real reacting environment in your headset and rendered you and everybody else as rebels dressed as Stormtroopers, you got a gun that shot lasers and got to shoot at Stormtroopers and watch them fall over dead, and hten Darth Vader came and attacked you at the end.

of course the pandemic happened and now it's permanently closed. it'll probably be replaced by some third tier company who isn't as good at it who does something like "VR Jigglypanda" which gets stuck and freezes at uncomfortable places.

Are they just hoping that the unfolding environmental catastrophe will have people (the ones who have money and survive) crawling to them to live permanently in a VR universe while Zuck lives in low earth orbit fucking robots?

careful we're getting close to a blue pill red pill allegory

the only good VR thing I ever did was at Disney Springs, through The Void, they had a Star Wars VR themed thing for 25 bucks where you put on a suit and it actually rendered a real reacting environment in your headset and rendered you and everybody else as rebels dressed as Stormtroopers, you got a gun that shot lasers and got to shoot at Stormtroopers and watch them fall over dead, and hten Darth Vader came and attacked you at the end.

I did this exact same thing at the Mall of America, was pretty cool even though it wasn't really so much a game as a little guided tour where you got to shoot a bit, but the effect was definitely cool

the fact that you had actual physical space to walk around in was the whole key

But in lieu of having a physical space to walk around in, getting to play poker with FB employees on the Blue's Clues set or whatever the fuck that was is a pretty sweet consolation prize.

yeah, the "it not being a game" part was somewhat of a let down, but it was immersive enough that I enjoyed the hell out of it. and yeah the walking space was great.

they also had one in Times Square for Ghostbusters wehre you actually DID have objectives to fulfill and scores/rankings, but I was paired with two little shits who spent their parents money by running around in circles and making it impossible for me to do anything.

eventually I got so mad I shot at them with my proton pack, but nothing happened in the game when I did that.

and it was something like $50 for that, rather than the $25 at Disney

Zuck just really got into Ready Player One over the pandemic and this is his Oasis.

what if there was a VR game where you got to be in the band Oasis and the entire game was winning arguments with your terrible brother and threatening to quit the band, which gets you extra points

Maybe
You're gonna be the one that slays me
It's all for fun
You're my Player One

lol

My son wanted to re-watch Ready Player One last weekend, so it was fresh in my mind when Zuck walked into the room and there was the big robot guy

I think you might have been watching something else, Zuck is *small* robot guy.

We're going to have this awesome thing in 5-10 years

A 10 year rollout? (checks when this thread started) Facebook itself is only about 15 years old.

Facebook's Name Change Is An Act Of Meta-Desperation

Desperation? Sure. But only because stock traders hate tech companies that have no whizzy narrative about how they will double in size and triple their revenue in a couple of years. There's a distinct chance that Zuck will only be worth $50 billion two years from now, FB will become a stale product only used by a billion humans, and he's in a panic over it.

Facebook's announcement that it is changing its name to Meta has caused quite the stir in Israel where the word sounds like the Hebrew word for "dead".

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-59090067

"A lot of this will be mainstream in the next five to 10 years," he said.

Is this the 5-10 years quote people are talking about? Cuz this certainly sounds like stuff is launching sooner than 5 years.

most movies taht are released as 3-D these days weren't shot for 3D

very, very few movies that were shown in 525 lines, cut to pan & scan, with swears and butts deleted, and advertisements for toilet cleaners inserted every ten minutes, were actually made that way

somebody watching a 2-D movie that has been deliberately made worse in a different format doesn’t mean that a completely unrelated 3-D movie sucks

I think the point wasn't that 3D movies suck, but that VR is much like 3D movies, in that it keeps getting revived as an idea, then is hyped as The Amazing Unstoppable Future, then it fizzles out and 2D or PR (Plain Reality) reassert their primacy for another decade or two.

Could have sworn one of the tech companies (Amazon?) quietly re-introduced cyber glasses again, too.

The glasses pair with your Android phone and can read out notifications, make phone calls, and play audio, including music and podcasts. You can also ask Alexa for rundowns of your calendar, the news, weather, and the usual things you’ve come to expect. A “VIP” filter will let wearers choose which notifications they want read aloud and which should remain only on their phone for later.

The Oculus VR head gear seems like an extremely clunky attempt to replicate the Star Trek holo-deck. The Metaverse, as envisioned by Zuckerberg, seems like he's trying to figure out how to make the Star Trek holo-deck sound like a place where the Enterprise crew would hold exciting business meetings.

I remember the first I'd ever heard of VR was around that guy Jaron Lanier in the early-mid 90's, and the goggles he had then look a lot like the Occulus goggles of today

https://images.immediate.co.uk/production/volatile/sites/4/2018/08/untitled-e542612.jpg

The Meta thing keeps making me thing of Rhonda Fleming in Out of the Past.

think the point wasn't that 3D movies suck, but that VR is much like 3D movies, in that it keeps getting revived as an idea

yeah, exactly

every single 3D movie I’ve seen projected was good and fun*. I’ve seen a cool demo of a VR thingy with iirc semi-generative music by Herbert? but in both cases (afaict) the good examples of the form made by capable ppl on purpose get choked out of the market by things that aren’t rly examples of the form, made by people who aren’t trying to even make anything good. then the market itself implodes due to this.


* unless the Zemeckis/Gaiman/Avary Beowulf was one. that is not good, but is terrific fun

i remember when google sent someone out to a festival i was working with Glass and I tried it for ten minutes
i imagine i will do this for ten minutes too

How long until we can non self consciously record all of our existence tho

seems needlessly redundant

Xpost didn't u see that Black Mirror

Aimless: no one else who tell you this but no one gives a shit what your opinion is.

https://www.theregister.com/2021/10/29/zuckerberg_meta_facebook/

so kind of you to make sure I was aware. I wouldn't want me to go through life not knowing what a jerk you are.

if you wanna fight them you will probably find them...at the bar

I used to study Classics, and the word “meta” comes from the Greek word meaning “beyond”.

Why is this so funny?

I'm not interested until they get the Perky Pat layout finished. The Feelies is a better product anyway.

lol, that was the first thought I had when I saw the announcement, as well.