your terrible ideas

and vinyl

lol love this.
"Foreign films and vinyl" - if you're in the uk you get Freddie Got Fingered and some disposable gloves

How about a vinyl of the month club but every month it's just the next Tom Jones record in sequence

"I have a good feeling this month. This is my...*grunt*...12th unboxing and, well....we know what happened on the previous 11. Those Youtubes have been taken down due to bad memories. But I've done the calculations in my head, and it's not poss....ok I don't want to say it's "im"-possible, but it's extremely unlikely that they'll send me another record by....him. Why I received 11 others - there are a lot of working theories, but the most popular one amongst experts is that my vibe settings were so niche, that I kept getting To-....I'm sorry, 'his' records. I've fixed my vibes, I've set them so far away from that sound that there's just no way, no way in he-.....No. oh god. oh god no. THEY FUCKED ME AGAIN! 'Help Yourself'? "HELP YOURSELF?" This isn't even GOOD Tom Jones! No, fuck you, I'm saying his name because I'm angry. They won't get away with this. They can't get away with this....I....I...cut the camera. I said...cut the fucking camera!"

Tom Jones in sequins

To really rub it in, each box would include one of those overenthusiastic "personal notes" from the founders, and starting with the second one, each one would say "Hey man, so glad you're grooving to all the tunes we've been sending. We thought you'd enjoy this one because you previously purchased [list of prior Tom Jones record(s) received ]. Hope you dig it, bro!"

lol

Oh man, starting a subscription box service where I send people random garbage I don't want a curated selection of cultural objects from my personal collection would be such a great grift way to share my interests with like-minded individuals.

So you'd be sending them....old lunch?

But the customers, they are meant to think it is NEW lunch

Either way, I will be handing them their lunch.

New-To-You Lunch

Meet the new lunch, same as the old lunch.

Just whipped up the neologism 'LunchBox' for my new service, can't believe no one else was using it.

All you need is lunch

So, like, what about a really big box store where the sign says "The Russian Nesting Doll Store."

So you go inside, and inside there's a slightly smaller store.

So you go inside THAT store, and....

Whenever getting asked what he's going as for the office Halloween party, telling co-workers he's dressing up as Al Jolson.

People either freeze in disgust or walk away or beg him to reconsider. "Nah, it's a real easy costume. All I'm gonna do is –"

Finally the big moment. Everyone makes their grand entrance and then here comes... Al Jolson.

https://i.imgur.com/OWzqU2d.jpg

ABBA-themed porn titled Waterlewd.

[boink]ing Me, [boink]ing You

Take a [bleep] on Me

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A [slide whistle, double bike horn honk] After Midnight

Having the (bleep) of your life

a machine that lets you sleep for the rest of your life, and then you're connected to a dream network with other people doing the permasleep and you can connect with them in various locations in your dream state and make friends and while you're in this state you're fed with like Robocop's food and stuff.

A concept album based on Empson’s Seven Types of Ambiguity (a track per ambiguity)

a machine that lets you sleep for the rest of your life, and then you're connected to a dream network with other people doing the permasleep and you can connect with them in various locations in your dream state and make friends and while you're in this state you're fed with like Robocop's food and stuff.

― Cool Im An Situation (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 17 November 2021 20:23 (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

This is the popular 90s sci-Fi movie The Matrix, yes?

What's The Matrix?

That reminds me of the cool, fun idea I had about the time travelling machine that goes back to punish you if you don't invent it.

every gig, the time machine at your merch table.

I always thought Empson should have called the book A Bunch of Types of Ambiguity

hahaha

reminds me of a long-ago friend's mishearing of "You're So Vain" as "You're So Vague." It's possible this song is about you...

A sneakerhead offshoot trend where sneakers are collected for comfort rather than style or rarity, and the most prized kicks are the consensus most comfortable ones.

I feel like there would be a lot of opportunity for unboxing youtube videos where the "cushbeasts" (as they would be called) slip their feet into the shoes and wax about how cozy and comfy they are.

Posting "too soon" to all Macy's pix appearing in my feed tomorrow.

Metallica becomes the federal government

Sandmanifest Destiny

wait no

E Pluribus Unum Kind of Monster

^ yeah, that

For Whom the Capi Tolls

O beautiful for spacious skies
And amber Dave Mustaine

Master of Budgets

Squidieval Times franchise

A Grateful Dead cover band called Polka Round.

The t-shirts for the band say "Just Gotta Polk Around!" and feature James K. Polk as the "Shakedown Street Dude" but playing an accordion.

http://ssdd.samsbiz.com/store/image/y83a/Patches_Grateful_Dead_-_Shakedown_Street_Dude_Patch.jpg

The band does reggae covers of Dead tunes and does not play polka

http://ssdd.samsbiz.com/store/image/y83a/Patches_Grateful_Dead_-_Shakedown_Street_Dude_Patch.jpg

Smockin’

a martial art style based entirely on david lee roth's stage antics

might as well jump

A late 80s Prince themed noodle bar called Let's Get To Ramen.

start a nuclear war, get a bunch of hair metal cassettes, mislabel them Beethoven, Mozart, etc, and bury them in a bunker with their biographies so that future historians think classical music sounded like Ratt.

An online battle royale style Monopoly game, where you have to play against 99 other people, and each game lasts 4 days.