your terrible ideas

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a movie where all the interesting stuff happens in the distant background of scenes rather than the people acting in the foreground - which could in itself be a completely different storyline.

Chicks and Ducks and Geese better scurry (Ste), Thursday, 21 October 2021 13:36 (two years ago) link

the star wars prequels already exist tho

I Am Fribbulus (Xax) (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 21 October 2021 13:48 (two years ago) link

oof

Chicks and Ducks and Geese better scurry (Ste), Thursday, 21 October 2021 13:56 (two years ago) link

a movie where all the interesting stuff happens in the distant background of scenes rather than the people acting in the foreground - which could in itself be a completely different storyline.

I'm pretty sure I posted about this somewhere on this board, but my idea for a Marvel movie was some domestic drama where occasionally you would see a television in the background with news reports of a huge superhero fight currently ongoing

silverfish, Thursday, 21 October 2021 14:02 (two years ago) link

A reboot of 2001 that is done in the style of a circa 2001 comedic action thriller and starring Will Smith. The entire purpose of this in my mind is as a vehicle for Will Smith to deliver the line “Aw HAL nah!”

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, October 12, 2021 11:30 PM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

FWIW, I think this should happen as HAL tries to lock him out, and after delivering the line he kicks in the pod bay doors and then hits HAL with a right cross, followed by a knee to the gut, and then an over the shoulder throw finishing off HAL. The plot of the movie is entirely changed and Will Smith returns home a hero, having unknowingly also foiled humanity's psychedelic rebirth or whatever the fuck happens at the end of that film.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 21 October 2021 14:31 (two years ago) link

acceptable only if, on arrival back home, he is greeted by the President saying "Welcome to Earth."

I Am Fribbulus (Xax) (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 21 October 2021 15:01 (two years ago) link

Will Smith returns home a hero, having unknowingly also foiled humanity's psychedelic rebirth or whatever the fuck happens at the end of that film.

Hahaha.

"We came! We saw! We kicked that Starchild's ass..."

pplains, Thursday, 21 October 2021 15:04 (two years ago) link

Invent and market a meat-based tofu substitute. Call it either Fauxfu or Nofu.

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Thursday, 21 October 2021 16:01 (two years ago) link

just a brick of fatback

John Lakeman gives pipe lecture (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 21 October 2021 16:16 (two years ago) link

An app that beams whatever message you type into Joe Rogan s head.

Whatever.... message

Gardyloominati (Neanderthal), Thursday, 21 October 2021 18:31 (two years ago) link

A sitcom where every single joke in every single episode is a laboured pun on the name of the same semi-obscure celebrity.
At the conclusion of the series, the celebrity appears as themselves in a dramatic "very special episode", where their fictional persona is revealed as a child molester.

Halfway there but for you, Thursday, 21 October 2021 23:07 (two years ago) link

lol

(a picture of a defecating pig) (Old Lunch), Thursday, 21 October 2021 23:41 (two years ago) link

a serial killer is hacking into company databases containing employee vaccine card scans. the maniac is targeting people who received Pfizer lot #666. the killer believes the death of these individuals will save the world from government overreach. as the killer pursues each victim, they scream "THAT WAS MY PRIVATE MEDICAL DATA!"

John Lakeman gives pipe lecture (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 26 October 2021 22:38 (two years ago) link

disambiguation request: is this a terrible idea for a movie or a terrible idea for real life?

injurious emissions (cat), Wednesday, 27 October 2021 13:25 (two years ago) link

snl sketch w/ kevin james as host

a Vinyl subscription service, but what you don't tell people is when they sign up, you just literally mail them vinyl products, not necessarily records. like vinyl dresses, water pipes, electrical wire, PVC, etc

the utility infielder of theatre (Neanderthal), Thursday, 28 October 2021 14:01 (two years ago) link

yes but would start by sending them actual records until they finish their trial period, then straight in with the old floor tiles the next month

edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 28 October 2021 14:18 (two years ago) link

lol

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 28 October 2021 14:23 (two years ago) link

"This month's selection: Wire - Pink Flag" -- in package is some vinyl wire and a pink flag made of vinyl.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 28 October 2021 14:25 (two years ago) link

just random lengths of beige vinyl siding

certified juice therapist (harbl), Thursday, 28 October 2021 14:25 (two years ago) link

a classic piece of original 70s vinyl

edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 28 October 2021 14:27 (two years ago) link

Could also do a "Record Club" but you just get a random property record, medical record, etc.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 28 October 2021 14:38 (two years ago) link

Or sell autographed band memorabilia and then sign it yourself.

"I didn't say 'who' autographed it"

the utility infielder of theatre (Neanderthal), Thursday, 28 October 2021 14:42 (two years ago) link

there's got to be some way of combining NFTs and MLM

edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 28 October 2021 14:48 (two years ago) link

and vinyl

edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 28 October 2021 14:49 (two years ago) link

lol love this.
"Foreign films and vinyl" - if you're in the uk you get Freddie Got Fingered and some disposable gloves

kinder, Thursday, 28 October 2021 15:05 (two years ago) link

How about a vinyl of the month club but every month it's just the next Tom Jones record in sequence

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 28 October 2021 15:12 (two years ago) link

"I have a good feeling this month. This is my...*grunt*...12th unboxing and, well....we know what happened on the previous 11. Those Youtubes have been taken down due to bad memories. But I've done the calculations in my head, and it's not poss....ok I don't want to say it's "im"-possible, but it's extremely unlikely that they'll send me another record by....him. Why I received 11 others - there are a lot of working theories, but the most popular one amongst experts is that my vibe settings were so niche, that I kept getting To-....I'm sorry, 'his' records. I've fixed my vibes, I've set them so far away from that sound that there's just no way, no way in he-.....No. oh god. oh god no. THEY FUCKED ME AGAIN! 'Help Yourself'? "HELP YOURSELF?" This isn't even GOOD Tom Jones! No, fuck you, I'm saying his name because I'm angry. They won't get away with this. They can't get away with this....I....I...cut the camera. I said...cut the fucking camera!"

the utility infielder of theatre (Neanderthal), Thursday, 28 October 2021 15:31 (two years ago) link

Tom Jones in sequins

To really rub it in, each box would include one of those overenthusiastic "personal notes" from the founders, and starting with the second one, each one would say "Hey man, so glad you're grooving to all the tunes we've been sending. We thought you'd enjoy this one because you previously purchased [list of prior Tom Jones record(s) received ]. Hope you dig it, bro!"

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 28 October 2021 16:18 (two years ago) link

lol

Oh man, starting a subscription box service where I send people random garbage I don't want a curated selection of cultural objects from my personal collection would be such a great grift way to share my interests with like-minded individuals.

(a picture of a defecating pig) (Old Lunch), Thursday, 28 October 2021 16:33 (two years ago) link

So you'd be sending them....old lunch?

the utility infielder of theatre (Neanderthal), Thursday, 28 October 2021 16:33 (two years ago) link

But the customers, they are meant to think it is NEW lunch

the utility infielder of theatre (Neanderthal), Thursday, 28 October 2021 16:34 (two years ago) link

Either way, I will be handing them their lunch.

(a picture of a defecating pig) (Old Lunch), Thursday, 28 October 2021 16:48 (two years ago) link

New-To-You Lunch

"Devious" Licks (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, 28 October 2021 19:21 (two years ago) link

Meet the new lunch, same as the old lunch.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Thursday, 28 October 2021 19:34 (two years ago) link

Just whipped up the neologism 'LunchBox' for my new service, can't believe no one else was using it.

(a picture of a defecating pig) (Old Lunch), Thursday, 28 October 2021 19:55 (two years ago) link

All you need is lunch

gin and catatonic (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 28 October 2021 20:13 (two years ago) link

So, like, what about a really big box store where the sign says "The Russian Nesting Doll Store."

So you go inside, and inside there's a slightly smaller store.

So you go inside THAT store, and....

gin and catatonic (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 8 November 2021 01:37 (two years ago) link

Whenever getting asked what he's going as for the office Halloween party, telling co-workers he's dressing up as Al Jolson.

People either freeze in disgust or walk away or beg him to reconsider. "Nah, it's a real easy costume. All I'm gonna do is –"

Finally the big moment. Everyone makes their grand entrance and then here comes... Al Jolson.

https://i.imgur.com/OWzqU2d.jpg

pplains, Monday, 8 November 2021 03:14 (two years ago) link

ABBA-themed porn titled Waterlewd.

peace, man, Wednesday, 17 November 2021 15:39 (two years ago) link

[boink]ing Me, [boink]ing You

Lou Christie's Mosh Pit (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 17 November 2021 16:33 (two years ago) link

Take a [bleep] on Me

Lou Christie's Mosh Pit (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 17 November 2021 16:34 (two years ago) link

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A [slide whistle, double bike horn honk] After Midnight

Lou Christie's Mosh Pit (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 17 November 2021 16:35 (two years ago) link

Having the (bleep) of your life

popcornoscenti (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 17 November 2021 20:17 (two years ago) link

a machine that lets you sleep for the rest of your life, and then you're connected to a dream network with other people doing the permasleep and you can connect with them in various locations in your dream state and make friends and while you're in this state you're fed with like Robocop's food and stuff.

Cool Im An Situation (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 17 November 2021 20:23 (two years ago) link

A concept album based on Empson’s Seven Types of Ambiguity (a track per ambiguity)

a hallan shaker loon (dowd), Friday, 19 November 2021 11:12 (two years ago) link

a machine that lets you sleep for the rest of your life, and then you're connected to a dream network with other people doing the permasleep and you can connect with them in various locations in your dream state and make friends and while you're in this state you're fed with like Robocop's food and stuff.

― Cool Im An Situation (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 17 November 2021 20:23 (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

This is the popular 90s sci-Fi movie The Matrix, yes?

a hoy hoy, Friday, 19 November 2021 12:00 (two years ago) link

What's The Matrix?

Urbandn hope all ye who enter here (dog latin), Friday, 19 November 2021 12:01 (two years ago) link


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